Coaching

Introducing The Acorn Project: A Two-Week Course to Reflect, Dream and Scheme

What a week. Considering some of the Sandy aftermath on the East Coast, I'm one of the lucky ones -- but didn't get away scot-free either. My area lost power from Monday night to Friday night -- which meant no running water or cell phone service, and 40-block walks just to use the bathroom in the morning. Urban camping at it's finest? The candlelight was cute until I hadn't showered for three days...

It's a humbling experience to realize how much we rely on gadgets, electricity, running water (and how fortunate we are to have them so readily available most of the time) -- and how much effort it takes just to go through a day without easy access to those things.

My sincerest thanks to everyone who reached out, checked-in, asked if they could help or offered a place to stay -- I'm deeply touched by the generosity of community in times like these. And sending my thoughts to all those more seriously impacted as well.

During the days that I did eventually find Internet (huge thanks to Ryan Paugh for arranging workspace at The YEC's accounting firm, Presti & Naegele!) I was hard-at-work on an exciting new course for all of you . . .

Introducing The Acorn Project

"Observe any squirrel during nutting time and see how busy he is laying a stock of provisions for Winter. Bushels and bushels of acorns and nuts are gathered by the little fellows and stored in the hollows of trees and in other accessible nooks. When these are filled the squirrel buries his treasures in the ground. Busily, like a streak of gray lightning, he whisks about under oaks picking acorns and burying them in the ground in a thousand and one spots. From sunrise to sunset he and his mates are busy storing away the Winter supply.

...Doubtless many of the acorns buried by the little planter are forgotten. Others are covered under snow before he has a chance to dig them out. In either case, an acorn has been planted as delicately as if by hand of man, and only the thaw of the ground and the warm Spring sunshine are needed to coax forth the oak. 

...It is a wonderful thing when you come to consider what part the tiny, bushy tailed animals may have played in the history of our country. Perhaps the majestic ships that plow the seas -- maybe even the old, famous men-of-war owe their existence primarily to the little paws of the soft-furred, soft-eyed little animals."

—The New York Times (Published March 15, 1903)

What do squirrels, acorns and oak trees have to do with you?

The Acorn ProjectWith just two months left in the year, it's a time for many people to wrap things up, reflect, and spend time with family. It's a time where many of us are starting to hunker down and set ourselves up for modern-day hibernation. It's also a time for us to start nurturing ideas for what's next and where we want to focus our effort in the coming year.

The Acorn Project is a two-week course that will help you reflect and start gathering fuel -- ideas, dreams and goals -- for the new year. After all, today's acorn stash could turn into tomorrow's big, beautiful oak tree.

This mini-course doesn't share the same intensity as Make Sh*t Happen, nor is it supposed to -- it is about collecting and mapping out your desires, values, ideas and goals so that you can see what wants to emerge in the New Year.

The Acorn Project kicks off a bigger course series called called Kickstart Your Change from Ruzuku, the online learning company I work with to host Make Sh*t Happen.

Sign me up, Scotty! (And FAQ)

What topics will we cover?

  • Day 1: Lay the Foundation: Mindset + Current State
  • Day 2: Create Your Compass (Values)
  • Day 3: Dream Big (Brainstorm and life map)
  • Day 4: Beyond the Trapeze (Navigating transition)
  • Day 5: Maintain Your Momentum (how to Make Sh*t Happen!)

How does the course work?

The course is facilitated through an online-learning platform called Ruzuku. You will get an email each day notifying you that the next set of content is ready. As you move through the course, you’ll check activities off that you complete, and you can return to the course any time after it is finished to revisit the material.

Who should sign-up? Is it just for college grads?

Nope. The course is for you if you are looking for guidance and inspiration to help assess where you are now and where you want to go.

This course is for anyone who:

  • Feels stuck or stagnant, wants to make a change but isn't sure where to start
  • Wants help determining what’s most important, and how to go after it
  • Is looking for some direction and structure to help reflect on this year and plan for 2013

I look forward to seeing many of you in the course

The Acorn Project - Click here to enroll now!

2011: Calling All Dreamers

I feel like I'm on mile 23 of a marathon with the book coming out in less than three months (!!) and now is the time to turn on the burners -- put every minute that I'm not at Google to strategic use. It's a really exciting, motivating feeling to see the finish line up ahead . . . and much to the chagrin of well-meaning great friends hoping to drag me out of the house, nothing will break my focus at this point. I'm also not big on expensive parties or fighting for taxi cabs, so I planned on spending this New Years Eve alone in my condo, working on projects that energize me and that would help set the tone for an uber-creative 2011. Projects that get me so fired up that they don't even feel like work.

I mentioned this casually to a few friends -- New Years orphans who were ambivalent about their existing plans -- and before I knew it, I had four fabulous women in for the count.

Why am I telling you this? Because I have big plans for us in 2011.

Yes, YOU.

Even if you don't nerd-out on New Years Eve like us, I want you to think about a big dream that you might be tiptoeing around, and I want you to join me in 2011 by setting up your own "creative day of greatness." If our New Years bonanza goes well, I plan on hosting many more throughout the year (even virtually).

But you don't have to wait for me, of course. Pick a date and commit to starting that big, hairy, scary project that is crying out for your love and attention. I know you might be afraid, or self-conscious, or unsure if this is the right time or if you have the right idea or if you're the right person to pursue it.

Do it anyway.

Not that you even need it, but I hearby grant you the permission to start even without perfect conditions or all the pieces in place.

Arranging a creative genius day or night also requires properly setting the stage. What would make it the most fabulous, soul-stirring experience EVER? My friend Julie and I brainstormed for tonight and came up with what we think is a great list.

The "Marathon Day of Creative New Years Genius" will entail:

  • Morning yoga session (delivered by moi) for anyone who's here early -- we're planning on starting the festivities around 11:00 a.m.
  • Writing "sprints" throughout the day on our biggest ideas. We'll try a system where we work for 40 minutes, then chat, share, brainstorm and collaborate for 20 minutes - off and on throughout the day. We'll also set a few goals at the outset about what would be most thrilling to accomplish.
  • Piles of magazines & a flip chart to do vision-boarding
  • Doing other cool things like taking symbolic action on something that scares us; emailing an author we really respect (hi Martha Beck!)
  • Fire in the fireplace, great music playing in the background
  • Favorite foods potluck -- pasta, pizza, chips/salsa, green-bean casserole, cupcakes & macaroons -- to name a few
  • Prosecco for midnight; we may very well also put on fancy dresses and throw a dance party for the countdown. Good times!

How about you - what would your IDEAL Creative Day of Genius entail?

By the way, I'm serious. I want you to pick a dream of yours - even just a corner of it - and commit to it. Schedule your jump-start session alone or with friends, and start bringing your big ideas to life. Then send me an email to let me know how it goes!

No matter what you find yourself doing tonight, have an amazing time. Cheers -- to dreaming, scheming and greatness for all of us in 2011! :)

***

1:1 Big Goal Brainstorming / Coaching / Genius Hours:

If you are hoping to take your first steps toward a big dream in 2011 and you want some extra accountability and support, get in touch with me. Right now I'm offering sample coaching sessions at 50% off - $50 for 45 minutes of bringing out your inner genius.

I want us all to dream BIG in 2011, and I would love nothing more than to help you start taking baby steps toward your biggest goals. As your coach, I'll help you do big-picture visioning, uncover your values, set specific goals, knock out limiting beliefs or barriers to action, and brainstorm ways to make substantial progress -- all supported by assignments for you to work on between sessions. Nothing gets me more fired up than working with you on making your biggest dreams a reality. Learn more here.

Looking for another great way to kick-off 2011?

Join me for a free 60-minute career strategy webinar with People On-the-Go during the second week of January (hint: one of my first e-books in the making!). Here's a brief description:

The Ladder is Out -- How to Manage Your Career in the Age of the App The era of climbing the ladder as a method of managing your career is out. We are now in the age of the app - everything you need is at your fingertips, fully customizable to your unique career dreams and aspirations. Rather than follow a linear path, learn how to explore, experiment and build a strong foundation that suits your dynamic talents and goals. [Read more and sign-up]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Big love and hugs to all of you :)

10 Questions to Help You Stop Thinking and Start DOING (with template!)

Chimpanzee ThinkingThis post is going to be absolutely worthless to you if you don't actually take action (hence, the title). If you're busy or not interested in taking at least 10 minutes to reflect and answer some questions about something you care about, feel free to skip it, star it, or come back later. For those of you still with me: start by grabbing a pen and paper or use the handy template I created for this post.

Now for some context: this is a re-post from Elysa Rice's December’s Top Tens in 2010 Series. There are tons of great bloggers submitting posts on everything from de-stressing to reasons you don't need a new job. I highly recommend you give GenPink (and the series) a visit -- especially since Elysa is an all-around awesome person and GenY blogging pioneer.

10 Questions to help you stop thinking and start DOING

Close your eyes for a minute and think of a problem, a tough decision or a big question that you are weighing and would like an answer to. Set aside 15-30 minutes to reflect on the questions below, either in your head or on paper (I use Google Docs — and even created a template for you). You might also focus on one question each day or week – let each one ruminate over time, then jot down notes as various responses pop up.

Do you have a topic yet?

You might be tempted to just skim this post and pretend you have a topic, even though you know it’s fuzzy and you’re just sort of going through the motions (we all do it). Before you keep going, really think of something. Don’t keep reading until you have a topic or idea in mind that is so-big-it’s-scary (but also exciting).

Now for the fun part - let's get to work!

  1. When you think of [topic], what are you most excited about?
  2. How does this [topic] fit in with your vision of your highest self?
  3. What is your goal in this area? Now double it. What is the version of the goal that is so big you are afraid to admit (even to yourself) for fear of failure?
  4. What’s holding you back / What are you afraid of?
  5. What support do you need to move forward?
  6. What one next step would make the biggest impact to move your forward (or help with your decision)?
  7. What would achieving this get you?
  8. Close your eyes and ask each major decision-making system for advice: What does your head say? What does your heart say? What does your gut say? How can you reconcile the three? (Okay so I cheated and combined four questions in one)
  9. Dig even deeper. What do you really want?
  10. What are you waiting for?

After you’ve reflected on the questions above, take a minute to answer the bonus million dollar question:

Based on your answers above, what are you willing to take ACTION on in the next week? Leave your answer in the comments below!

***

The Anti-Resume - Career Development Video Interview:

Mike Krass is hosting a great interview series on his blog, The Anti Resume, in which I discuss career development tips and pitfalls. Some of the questions covered in the ~15 minute video (full transcript also available):

  • Given your work with the website and what you have done professionally at Google, what is your take on career development?
  • If you don’t have a team or are in between jobs, how can you guide the goals you want to set to help you take steps to get where you want to go career wise?
  • As to what you have done professionally and with your personal work, what is one piece of advice that you would give to positively influence someone’s career choices?
  • What is one piece of advice that would negatively influence someone’s career decisions?
  • What is one great tactic you would suggest to use to successfully build relationships?

Click here to watch and share your thoughts!

Where in your life are you pounding on unlocked doors?

It's as if you're pounding on the massive doors of the kingdom of your wildest dreams. At first lightly, even respectfully, then, losing patience, louder and louder. You pray. You plead. You beg. You ask. You cry. You wail. And just on the other side of the door, your faithful, adoring subjects silently writhe, some quietly crying, all intensely feeling your frustration and loneliness. Yet they remember all too well how, on the day you left, you made them swear not to ever open the door, so that you might discover for yourself...

...that it was left unlocked.

I hate when that happens, The Universe (Mike Dooley of Tut.com)

I read this quote in Dooley's book, Manifesting Change*, earlier this week and I haven't been able to forget it. After sharing this note, Dooley asks, "What doors have you been pounding on?" Which got me thinking about some questions for all of us.

I urge you to take five minutes to close your eyes (well, after reading) and really think about the following:

  • Are you missing the obvious - the unlocked door - in any problems you are facing?
  • Where in your life are you trying to force changes that you might not be ready for?
  • Where are you straining with all your might without getting any results?
  • Where might it be time for a different, softer, more trust-based approach?
  • In what ways is the door - the world you so desire - already here, in front of you?

It might take you a few days (or weeks) to answer these questions...but start by becoming aware of the doors you might be (unnecessarily) pounding on and let me know what you find out.

A Personal Example:

I can definitely say that ever since I posted the Open Letter to Love, I've felt completely free and clear of relationship worries. I immediately felt the weight of the world lifted -- I became so relaxed and happy, and I haven't looked back since. It feels so good to openly declare to the world that I am going to stop straining for something that just isn't meant to be right now.

In fact, I would be hard pressed to even commit to a relationship if one came around! After I posted the letter, one friend was concerned that I was just giving up, but my decision to walk away from trying to "law of attract" a relationship (bleh) has helped me embrace my own life and dreams more fully than I ever have.

The minute I stopped pounding down the door o' looove I found true FREEDOM. I let out -- as my yoga teacher says -- "a loud sighing AHHHhhhhhhhhhh." I get a big smile on my face just thinking about it. :)

Your turn for a public declaration - what unlocked doors will you stop pounding down?

***

*I don't really recommend the book if you're looking for "starter" self-help - it's a little too out there in parts - but I love (and always get a great laugh out of) Dooley's daily Notes from the Universe emails. For a list of my favorite development books, check out my fancy schmancy Amazon store or follow my reviews on GoodReads.

On Limerence...and - wait for it - a break-up processing template. You heard me.

Yep, I've gone and templateized getting over someone. Don't judge me. More on that in a few minutes. First, a lesson and some thoughts on a crazy emotional love-related roller-coaster called Limerence. What is Limerence? Hint: if Love and Lust had a baby...

If Love and Lust had a baby, they would name her Limerence. Limerence is a little crazy. She is wildly optimistic, hopeful, and obsessive. From Wikipedia:

Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship (although it can further intensify the situation). The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the ultimate, near-obsessive form of romantic love. Limerence is sometimes also referred to as infatuation, or is colloquially known as a crush, but in reality it is something much different.

Does that sound familiar? Have you ever experienced limerence? Reflecting on that question was like asking myself, "Do you breathe?!"

Earlier this year, my dad could see that I was love-struck over a boy I couldn't really have. Instead of lecturing, judging or advising, he simply wrote the name of a book on an index card. That index card and book, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love by Dorothy Tenov, changed everything for me.

This is your brain. This is your brain on Limerence.

When we fall in lovelikelust (aka limerence) with someone, it's almost like our limerent brain becomes a form of the lizard brain. If the lizard brain's currency is fear, the limerent brain's currency is fantasy. Sometimes we have fun living in fantasyland...but not when it becomes a torture chamber representing everything we want but can't have.

It is inherent to the definition of limerence that the object of our affection - the romance of our dreams - is unattainable. Which is what makes limerence very different from love. Love is shared and reciprocated and eventually grows and develops into something real. Elisa breaks down the limerence experience beautifully in a post called Limerence and Licorice.

Components of Limerence (from Wikipedia):

  • Limerence involves intrusive thinking about the limerent object.Other characteristics include acute longing for reciprocation, fear of rejection, and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence. In cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object.
  • Feelings of limerence can be intensified through adversity, obstacles, or distance. A limerent person may have acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably. This may include a tendency to devise, fabricate, or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.
  • A person experiencing limerence has a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background. In their thoughts, a limerent person tends to emphasize what is admirable in the limerent object and to avoid any negative or problematic attributes.

What if you are Limerent and it is making you miserable, but you can't move on?

Tennov doesn't really answer this question in her book. She essentially throws her hands in the air and says, "beats me!"

I think the only way to counter the limerent brain's pining is to ask, "What is REAL?" over and over again:

  • What are the FACTS?
  • How do I actually FEEL, averaged out, over the course of recent days and weeks and months?
  • Finally, how can I act from a place of inner integrity based on TRUTH, not based on what-ifs?

Enter the Break-up Template!

My next book will clearly be a "quit the CRACK that is limerence" how-to manual. You know, just as soon as I learn how to conquer that crazy beast in its strongest moments.

This template is an exercise from my upcoming book (mark your calendar for March 29, baby!). If you are going through a break-up or still trying to get over someone, the questions in this template will help you sort through your thoughts, mourn your losses, and start to see your situation more clearly.

Download the template here (and forward to a friend or give 'er a rating if you like what you see!).

I want to hear from you. If you found this template helpful, would you let me know? Did I miss anything? How do you handle break-ups? Any limerence-busting tips?

***

All You Need is Love E-Book - Now Available!

Speaking of Love and Limerence, my dear friend Elisa just released her free "All You Need" e-book, a compilation of posts in which 28 bloggers pontificated on love (myself included) back in February. Download your copy by hopping over to Elisa's latest post here.

Happy Turkey Day!

To all of my American readers -- have a wonderful Thanksgiving!! For those living in other countries, I promise to eat a few extra cupcakes for you :)