E-Book: You Don't Need a Job, You Need Guts

I am so excited to share the love this morning for my friend Ashley Ambirge who launched her 127-page baby into the world. A ballsy, audacious, in-your-face, rock-star E-Book called You Don't Need a Job, You Need Guts. Note: I am an affiliate, but I would NEVER promote something I didn't believe in 150% and think would be an awesome resource for all of you. I am very selective with what I share, and this made the cut without question.

As I mentioned in my December Hodge Podge, Ashley is one of the bloggers I most respect and admire. She lost BOTH of her parents and can only rely on herself for support. When I complain about being busy, I forget that there are amazing women like Ashley in the world for whom being busy is probably the very least of her concerns.

Ashley hails from Pennsylvania but currently lives in Santiago, Chile -- following her dreams and working her ass off to make a living and inspiring countless others in the process.

Every time I read one of her posts, I want to stand up and start a slow clap. Then maybe throw a few fist-pumps, then raise a lemon-drop martini to toast Ashley in all her fabulous, brash, no-holds-barred glory.

I bought her e-book this morning within seconds of it landing in my inbox, and I'm already hooked.

A description (in Ash's own words) for those of you who might be interested:

RED HOT, FIERY PASSION. SOUL SHAKINGLY GOOD WORK THAT MATTERS. POTENTIAL. POWER. PRESENCE. PIZAZZ. AND MONEY, BABY. MONEY.

You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts is a devilishly sassy digital publication that teaches how to stop surrendering your soul to the rat race and instead, create a meaningful, delightfully unapologetic career based around YOU + YOUR INTERESTS by leveraging the web + harnessing the magnetic power of authentic passion, guts & glory.

You demand more from life. You crave more than a fatally boring routine. You want to do work that feels good. You want to be you, exactly as you are. And, for once, have that be enough. Better yet, you want to get paid for it.

If this gets you as fired up as it did me, grab your own copy for $24.

***

P.S. Speaking of guts and big dreams -- I'm also thrilled to announce that two of my best boys Nate (of ItStartsWith.Us) and J-Money (of Budgets Are Sexy) have launched an amazing project called Love Drop to help people "change lives, one dollar at a time." In their own words:

Love Drop is a micro-giving network of people who unite as a community to help one person or family a month. By subscribing to the team for as low as $1, we make it easy for our members to change lives in a fun and tangible way. Each month Love Drop delivers a unique combination of unexpected financial gifts, personal encouragement and the support of local and online communities.

I'm in. Are you? Click here to join the team!

A Delicious December Hodge-Podge

Grab a cup of coffee, this is a long one! Many of my blogging counterparts have a weekly series where they round-up their work and link to great posts from others: Friday Linky Love, Writing Around the Webb, and Fresh Finding Fridays to name a few. As much as I admire their consistency and commitment, I have fun doing mine completely randomly and giving them a new name every time (Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself, Crock Pots, Links Galore, and Miscellaneous Musings). What I'm really trying to say is that I don't have nearly the self-discipline to post these regularly. And yes, I also have commitment issues.

Change Makers TV Interview - Video Now on YouTube! (~30 minutes)

I was honored to be a guest on Gopi's local TV show -- during which I talk about blogging, the book, career advice, and even my dating life (which led to a guy jumping out from behind a car as I was leaving...alone...at night...to ask me out...after he watched the interview from the sound room...and continued to beg ask as I politely said no at least five times. FML.)

One note before you watch: my book is called Life After College: The Complete Guide to Getting What You Want, not "The Complete Guide to a Perfect Life," which I would not claim to have or advise others to strive for. The real beauty of life is in imperfection, which is also what makes a slight verbal typo perfectly okay with me. :) {RSS/email readers: Click here to watch}

Two interviews with fabulous women: Betty Jean Bell and Tia Singh

Audio interview with Betty Jean Bell of Love Your Work Life - It only took five minutes on the phone with Betty Jean for me to feel like I was instantly talking with one of my best friends. Her passion and energy is absolutely contagious! Take a listen to the ~25 minute podcast or click here to download the mp3, where I talk about my blog, the book, the quarter-life crisis, and pursuing big goals. Head on over to Love Your Work Life (and check out her adorable Christmas header!) to learn more about Betty Jean and her network of coaches.

Written interview with Tia Singh for her Live Your Life YOUR Way series - Tia is another coach extraordinaire who I met through Twitter. She literally sparkles (as her Twitter handle suggests), and we have quickly bonded over our emoticon abuse (exclamation mark, anyone?!?!!) and our love for helping others flourish. I was so honored to be featured in her series, and very touched by her wonderful introduction. Read more here.

Both of these ladies are giving a way a free copy of my book, so head on over and comment to enter!

#Reverb10 - I'm participating and have an author prompt on Dec. 21 -- wuhoo!

I'm excited to be participating in the #Reverb10 project with many other bloggers. It's a daily prompt to help people "reflect on this year and manifest what's next." I'm also incredibly honored to contribute an author prompt (author bios here) - look out for me on Dec. 21, baby!

I'll be answering the prompts on my Tumblr so I don't annoy you with daily posts -- here is a sneak preview of my first post:

2011: This next year will be the year of FREEDOM. Freedom from shoulds, cant’s, have-tos and obligations. I want 2011 to be the year of trusting my gut, listening to my intuition, and making decisions that are nothing short of SOUL-STIRRING. {Read more here}

Awesome links elsewhere - most definitely worth checking-out:

• Ashley Ambirge (of The Middle Finger Project) - The 67 Emotions of Online Success - heartbreaking, moving, inspiring, incredibly touching. Must read. Ashley is one of the writer's I most look-up to -- I am blown away by her posts every single time.
• Tyler Vooren's post 30 Surprisingly Difficult Ways to Be Extraordinary and his Top Secret Advanced Riskology Support Team Exposed (I share many of the same mentors/friends/role models).
• Leo Babauta's FREE 121-page Focus book - I'm a little late to the game on this one (he released it last month while I was in yoga heaven), but this book is AWESOME. And did I mention free?
• An inspirational speech (transcribed) from my "most amazing life coach ever" Ruth Ann Harnisch - Six Things I Learned in Six Months of Doing Nothing.
• Scott Stratten’s TEDx talk, Keep Going Until We Stop - Scott shares his realization that "being a big deal isn't a big deal" and shares his deeply moving stories about how he "just kept going" no matter how tough (and tragic) life got. He also learns the important lesson that "we need to STOP so that we CAN keep going." The passion and emotion he speaks with is unparalleled.
• Everett Bogue's 1 Simple Strategy to Save $2,000 this Holiday Season and Make Everyone Love You Forever. Love the audacity with which he opens the post. And I'm so IN on reducing needless spending/gifting pressure.
• Diggy (of Upgrade Reality) - 24 Things I've Learned in 24 Years - very wise words and great reminders. I would have put together a very similar list!
• My friend and fellow coach Scott Asai (based in LA) recently put together a promotional video for his services - it's a great way to learn more about coaching (and get in touch) if you are interested.

A follow-up note to my June post, Serendipity and the Art of Being Alone

Some of you may remember my story earlier this year about spending the weekend alone in New York City after existing plans fell through. While shoe shopping, I met a woman named Ann - an amazing lawyer who had a house built for herself in Italy (with her own hard-earned dream fund).

We ended up going to lunch then dancing on booths together at Bagatelle Bistrot in our new Louboutins -- girl power at its finest! I later dubbed Ann "my NYC angel" and she calls me Jenny From the Rock (as in Alcatraz).

While in NYC this week I'm attending Ann's big 40th birthday bash to help her celebrate in style. Living proof that random meetings can turn into beautiful friendships...and a reminder to get out there, be yourself, keep going when life throws a curve-ball, embrace surprises and be open to the beautiful art of serendipity.

Where in your life are you pounding on unlocked doors?

It's as if you're pounding on the massive doors of the kingdom of your wildest dreams. At first lightly, even respectfully, then, losing patience, louder and louder. You pray. You plead. You beg. You ask. You cry. You wail. And just on the other side of the door, your faithful, adoring subjects silently writhe, some quietly crying, all intensely feeling your frustration and loneliness. Yet they remember all too well how, on the day you left, you made them swear not to ever open the door, so that you might discover for yourself...

...that it was left unlocked.

I hate when that happens, The Universe (Mike Dooley of Tut.com)

I read this quote in Dooley's book, Manifesting Change*, earlier this week and I haven't been able to forget it. After sharing this note, Dooley asks, "What doors have you been pounding on?" Which got me thinking about some questions for all of us.

I urge you to take five minutes to close your eyes (well, after reading) and really think about the following:

• Are you missing the obvious - the unlocked door - in any problems you are facing?
• Where in your life are you trying to force changes that you might not be ready for?
• Where are you straining with all your might without getting any results?
• Where might it be time for a different, softer, more trust-based approach?
• In what ways is the door - the world you so desire - already here, in front of you?

It might take you a few days (or weeks) to answer these questions...but start by becoming aware of the doors you might be (unnecessarily) pounding on and let me know what you find out.

A Personal Example:

I can definitely say that ever since I posted the Open Letter to Love, I've felt completely free and clear of relationship worries. I immediately felt the weight of the world lifted -- I became so relaxed and happy, and I haven't looked back since. It feels so good to openly declare to the world that I am going to stop straining for something that just isn't meant to be right now.

In fact, I would be hard pressed to even commit to a relationship if one came around! After I posted the letter, one friend was concerned that I was just giving up, but my decision to walk away from trying to "law of attract" a relationship (bleh) has helped me embrace my own life and dreams more fully than I ever have.

The minute I stopped pounding down the door o' looove I found true FREEDOM. I let out -- as my yoga teacher says -- "a loud sighing AHHHhhhhhhhhhh." I get a big smile on my face just thinking about it. :)

Your turn for a public declaration - what unlocked doors will you stop pounding down?

***

*I don't really recommend the book if you're looking for "starter" self-help - it's a little too out there in parts - but I love (and always get a great laugh out of) Dooley's daily Notes from the Universe emails. For a list of my favorite development books, check out my fancy schmancy Amazon store or follow my reviews on GoodReads.

Eat. Sleep. Yoga. Part Two: Re-Entry.

Re-entering the "real world" after 16-days of actual rainbows and sunshine in Santa Barbara was a major shock to my system, as I alluded to in Part 1:

"I’ve been working harder every day but feeling like I am falling farther and farther behind. I’ve felt exhausted to the core; disappointed and helpless as I watched (mortified and even ashamed at) how quickly the clarity and calm from White Lotus escaped me."

On the first day back I could already feel anxiety pulsing through every vein. My breath was short and I ran around like a maniac all day re-arranging a room in my house (more below) as an avoidance tactic to delay diving into the massive amount of work that had piled up while I was gone.

Ganga and Tracy taught us to breathe - that breath is life - and to treat our whole day as our yoga - but I quickly spiraled into a nervous, compulsive, frenzied state. I wanted so badly to carry that zen, relaxed, peaceful yogini-self with me into my normal life. I wanted to change the way I work and commit to habits that would sustain me over the long-term, especially as I prepare to launch and promote my book next year.

By my second day back I was feeling semi totally panicked about how much I had on my plate. I felt like I was sinking faster by the minute in productivity quicksand. Every day I woke up earlier to start working, but every day I ended farther behind. Balancing a full plate at work, the final-final-final edits of my book and drama over the cover (it goes to press any day now) was wearing on me. Without my full emotional faculties, every text message, phone call, email request and social commitment that piled up felt increasingly suffocating.

By last Friday, I was a total wreck. A hot, hot mess. Case in point: I made myself my first coffee in a loooong time so that I could survive the afternoon slump, then ended up spilling it all over the table five minutes before starting to deliver a three-hour training, eyes still red and puffy from crying hysterically that morning as I was getting dressed for work. Feeling guilty but in survival mode, I regretfully cancelled all weekend plans (again) so I could try to get my life in order (again).

I'm not trying to be dramatic - I know that people have it so much worse than I do. I am ridiculously lucky to have the problems I have (and the unwavering support of my friends and blogger BFF Elisa). At the same time, I am determined to start solving these problems for myself and others who get overwhelmed by the big shoes they are trying to fill.

"Our culture has an excess of doing and a poverty of being" - Ganga White

People often tell me to stop doing so much, to slow down, or to go easy on myself. It sounds so easy. But that doesn't change the number of deadlines at work or with the book, or the number of email requests in my inbox. If I knew how to change the situation, I would. But somehow I keep ending up back here.

Here is my pattern (which may be blindingly obvious to long-time blog readers):

1. Work too hard for too long.
2. Get overwhelmed and resentful.
3. Feel as though I've lost myself.
4. Fall out of sleep and exercise habits that keep me happy and healthy.
5. Get sick and/or break down.
6. Force myself to slow down.
7. Feel guilty about not being able to keep up with all friends in all corners of the world.
8. Gremlin tells me soon I won't even have friends (or blog readers) if I keep complaining about feeling overwhelmed and ditching everyone to go into "emergency mode." (Gremlin also kicks in to tell me not to publish this post because it's too Debbie Downer).
9. Promise to change.
10. Try my very best to actually change and put myself first...
11. Fall back into old habits.
12. Feel like I'm lacking the magic sanity-management skillset that others seem to have.
13. Repeat steps 1-12.

I feel compelled to quote Ganga's wise words once more. This is what I would like to strive for instead of the pattern above:

Sit under the stars with a quiet mind and no goal. Be attentive to all things in life. Honor yourself. Laugh at yourself. Listen to the voice of your own body. Carry joy and light on your path. Listen to the wise, but always question. Truth and love are simple and ever present. —Ganga White, Yoga Beyond Belief: Insights to Awaken and Deepen Your Practice

Even though the first week back was rough, all was not lost.

Here are some positive changes I have made:

• I've gone coffee free (in an effort to get my natural energy back) - I've only had coffee once in two months (to give me a boost for my 5-hour drive back from Santa Barbara). I started cold turkey when I did the Clean Program cleanse about a month ago, and have been really focusing on letting my body return to it's natural energy rhythms. It feels great - I can already tell I am way less tired in the afternoons.
• I have been eating mostly vegetarian, and significantly reduced my dairy intake. This change was inspired by White Lotus where we ate delicious vegetarian meals every day and watched Food, Inc. (an incredibly powerful and shocking movie from Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation). I also recently read and was encouraged by Michael Pollan's Food Rules: An Eater's Manual. His core principle: "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants." Pollan has two other great books worth checking out: In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto and The Omnivore's Dilemma.
• On my first day back, I gave away my TV (for free!) - I knew it was now or never -- and was curious to see if I could survive without a TV...another seemingly impossible feat. I figure without TV I will be more likely to read, write and think -- all things I could definitely use more of. If I were smarter I would have waited until after football season, but hey -- this might also encourage me to actually leave the house!
• Taught my first (private) yoga class - I am excited about finishing my certification, which means teaching 20 group classes and 5 private sessions (I'll gladly take volunteers if you're in the area!). I successfully fumbled through teaching my first class last weekend, and I know it will only get easier from here. I also really want to make time for my own yoga practice every day - even if it's only 10 minutes. Now if only I could figure out what my recurring dream/nightmare about teaching an unruly yoga class means (twice now I've dreamed about teaching a class that rebels and stops paying attention to me).
• Created an "essential self" sanctuary - this is the change I am most excited about. While at training I found myself longing for a dedicated yoga space. In an "aha moment" I realized that I've used my dining room about once in the last year. I never cook and I never work at the table, so it seems ridiculous to have a whole corner of my house go unused 99% of the time. So on my first day back I spent the whole day re-decorating to create a yoga/reading room with books, magazines, candles and all kinds of zen paraphernalia. I also bought a gratitude journal to keep in there -- before leaving the room, I make a point to write something in it.

BEFORE (the dining room I never used) . . . and AFTER (the yoga zen room!):

All of the great art on the wall is my dad's - online portfolio here.

***

My friend Julie is writing a book on this very subject - navigating work in a 24/7 world. We would both love to hear from you:

What is your biggest challenge in managing your work in the global, digital age? What related problem/s would you want help solving?

Eat. Sleep. Yoga. Part One: White Lotus

I waited a week after returning home to write this post in hopes that putting my experience into words would be a little easier. If anything, it feels harder. The sixteen days felt simultaneously like a lifetime and a fleeting moment. This post feels like a karaoke rendition of my favorite song - there is no way I will do the experience justice, but I'm going to grab the mic and give it a shot anyway.

"It has been said that the highest learning comes in four parts: One part is learned from teachers; another part from fellow students; a third part from self-study and practice; and the final part comes mysteriously, silently, in the due course of time."

—Ganga White (a very wise, humble and hilarious teacher and yoga legend) in his book, Yoga Beyond Belief: Insights to Awaken and Deepen Your Practice

I went skidding into the White Lotus Teacher Training program at 100 miles per hour, tired and burned out, desperate for some quiet time to think and reflect and soul-search.

White Lotus delivered. I am pretty sure I died and went to heaven for 16 days. Studying yoga from sun-up to sun-down, napping, hiking, "cartoon sweating" during intense practices (hi Polly!), dancing to Black Eyed Peas with Ganga and Tracy (our teachers) or doing Intuitive Yoga during others; dedicating an entire afternoon to learning the mechanics of triangle pose or downward dog, eating delicious (mostly vegan) food prepared with love, and forming a yoga family with 30 other kindred spirits -- it all rocked my soul to the core...in the best possible way (my girl Sarah did an awesome job recapping everything).

Three trees (balancing on a rock on the edge of a cliff is harder than you might think):

For those of you who know me well, you know that I don't miss an opportunity to turn major experiences into metaphors for life (see: river rafting, triathlon and marathon). The life lessons I got from yoga teacher training were reminders -- gems that deep down I already knew but that had gotten rusty amidst the whirlwind of life. Below are five of the countless lessons I will take with me from White Lotus.

Five Life Reminders from Yoga Teacher Training

1. Comparison is a losing game - I've said this before, but it bears repeating. Yoga (and life) is not about who can do what better. It is about how you feel on the inside. It is about feeling graceful and powerful; about feeling energy radiating through every pore, shooting out from fingertip to fingertip. All bodies are different. All lives are different. Focus on your lines, your practice, and living with integrity in your own life. Look to others not as a yardstick for comparison, but as an instrument for inspiration - you might be surprised to find you have those same qualities within yourself.

2. "Yoga doesn't 'take time' -- it gives time." This quote is from Ganga's book and it is so true. The things we love don't take time, they give it. Don't "make time" to do the things you love. Do the things you love, and you will find time in new and unexpected places for everything else.

3. The hard work is not in your to-do list. The hard work is in fiercely committing to things that energize and replenish you. Sometimes I feel like I am WORKING SO HARD (a weightlifter on steroids comes to mind) to get everything on my to-do list done. And yet, if I put half as much energy and attention into doing yoga, meditation, and carving out quiet time, I would be so much better off - so much less strain in my life. Feeling happy and balanced takes WORK - it is not easy. I want to focus my "hard work" on the things that really matter in my life - and trust that it will only help the smaller tasks to get done with more clarity and creativity.

4. Pain is an information system. This gem also comes from Ganga who taught us to listen to our pain, which is only trying to help us. Does pressing through the pain make it better or worse? What are the contributing factors? Without pain, we would have no warning system to stop destructive behavior, habits or diseases. What is your pain trying to tell you?

5. Our teachers are all around us. I learned so much from Ganga and Tracy, but also from the 30+ people I spent those 16 days with. I learned from the weather, from the land, and even from my crazy dreams (I was mortified one day after loudly jolting up with a gasp during Savasana while everyone was laying down...I had fallen asleep and was convinced that that a spider was crawling on my face. OOPS.)

Here's a 1-minute video tour of Yurt Village from the first day:

Here is a 1-minute video of me describing a typical day (you may need to turn your volume up - lesson learned that Flip cams have a hard time picking up my 6am whisper voice):

The first week of the rest of my life

I spend so much of my time online, hunched over my desk, buried in computers at Google and at home. Yoga helps me unwind, destress, and connect with myself again. It helps me stand tall and exhale. Becoming a yoga teacher was something I have secretly wanted to do for a long time, but for a while was terrified to admit out loud (for fear of not being ready...or good at it). I can't describe the elation I felt after delivering my 10-minute class (our "final exam") and realizing that I have just kicked a new door of my life wide open.

I'm thrilled to have a way to share the yoga gift - the ongoing, ever-changing alignment of mind, body and spirit - with others. I love having another way to unwind and express myself and physically amidst all of the "brain work." I'm hoping to start teaching workshops for teen girls, and maybe even incorporate yoga classes (and cupcakes!) as part of my book tour. This training came at a perfect time in my life (albeit a busy one), and I can't wait to see where the path will lead.

Stay tuned for part two of this post, where I discuss re-entry after being largely unplugged for two weeks.

Sneak preview: jumping back into the chaos of managing a full-time job at Google while catching up from being gone and balancing the last and final stages of the book project absolutely KICKED MY ASS. Up, down and sideways. I've been a hot emotional mess, working harder every day but feeling like I was (am) falling farther and farther behind. I've felt exhausted to the core; disappointed and helpless as I watched (mortified and even ashamed at) how quickly the clarity and calm from White Lotus escaped me. So more life lessons to follow soon in Part 2...

***

Two more pictures just for fun: