The Most Dangerous Job You Can Have in Your Twenties

Written by Paul Angone The most dangerous job you can have in your 20s is a comfortable one. 

Comfortable is a quicksand -- the job you never wanted becoming the job you can’t escape.

Worse than no-job, frustrating job or a demanding job, is a job that demands nothing.

Like taking basket weaving your senior year. Sure you’ll get an easy A, but what did you lose in return? There is a stark cost for time wasted on comfortable.

Because you don’t grow with comfortable. You don’t learn. You don’t refine who you are or what you’re capable of.

No, comfortable is the leading cause for R.E.A.S – Rapidly Expanding Ass Syndrome. Your body, mind, and soul turning to goo. Because challenges refine. Remove challenges, remove growth.

The crux of your 20s is not how much you make, but how much you learn, grow, and change. Those of us who refuse to change, as Robert Quinn writes in Deep Change, will enter into a "slow death."

Wondering if your job is too comfortable and it's time to escape? Here are three signs it's time to run for your life.

3 Signs Your Job is Too Comfortable (and it’s time to leave)

1. Culture of Complacency

Need to know if your office suffers from complacency? Pretty simple. How are new ideas received? Are they explored or instantly exploded with a shotgun of "that’s not possible." Have you been there for a few years and are still not able to voice an opinion?

Are the unspoken rules of the office to keep your mouth shut and not rock the boat?

Are you allowed to tackle projects outside your "job description?"

Does your boss want to work there? Does your boss’s boss want to be there?

Complacency is a disease. Extremely contagious and easily passed from one employee to another.

If your office permeates with a culture of complacency, especially from the top down – game over. Pack your bags. Time to leave.

I’m serious as a heart attack.

Because you, starry-eyed twentysomething, brimming with energy and ideas will be crushed over and over by tsunami waves of complacency. Until you shut your mouth, settle in, and catch the disease yourself.

In a culture of complacency there is a sick, perverted love affair with status-quo. And honestly, you’re probably not going to change it.

2. You Feel Drained By Doing Nothing

If you come home absolutely drained from work. If you need to watch 2-4 hours of TV a night to escape. Then you think back to your day and realize you really did nothing at work.  You’re really just drained because your mind wasn’t stimulated.

You’re drained because you spread one hour of actual work over a span of eight.

Being drained by comfortable is a scary way to start living. Because it’s incredibly hard to escape. Like a carousel ride that never stops spinning. Jump and roll. Now.

3. “We Want to Promote You” is the Phrase you Fear Most.

If the idea of being promoted makes you more nauseous than the time you ate cotton candy and three churros before jumping on the spinning teacups ride, then why are you freaking working there? I can hear lots of "but Paul you don't understand..."

No, I do understand. Comfortable is your drug. I'm checking you into a clinic.

Comfortable Will Kill You

Comfortable is like smoking -- addictive and killing you with every puff. Quit before it’s too late.

No one who has achieved great things and made a difference in this world has done so while remaining comfortable.

We'd love to hear from you in the comments below:

What do you think -- is a comfortable job as dangerous as I've made it out to be?

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About Paul

Paul Angone is the author of 101 Secrets for your Twenties and the creator of AllGroanUp.com, a place for those asking "what now?" Snag free chapters from his book and follow him at @PaulAngone.

What's Your Cup of Tea?

life by the cup

Written by Marisol Dahl

A daily dose of love and inspiration can be transformative. 

Love and warmth—that’s what I felt after reading Zhena Muzyka’s Life By The Cup. Just as Sri Lankan tea farmers gently pluck only the best of the tea leaves and buds, Zhena chose her words with great care and esteem. With each chapter she invites you in with a warm cup of tea at hand and confides in you her deeply personal story of struggle and success.

In her early twenties, Zhena was jobless, broke, and unsure of her next step forward. Her baby boy Sage was born with a life-threatening condition, and for years to come they would be in and out of the hospital for dozens of tests, check-ups and operations.

Through these years of hardship, Zhena still managed to achieve her dream of starting a tea business. Without any money or assets to her name, she sat down one day and wrote up a business plan, the very beginnings of what is now the multi-million dollar Zhena’s Gypsy Tea.

At the grand opening of her tea shop, Zhena had six dollars in her bank account and her only customers were her sympathetic landlords. She came back the next day vowing to sell more.

After finally gaining a few investors, she was asked to cut costs and use conventional, non-organic and artificial ingredients. Zhena took a great risk in saying no, that she would stand by her commitment to fair trade practices and natural ingredients. She lost her investors and struggled to sell this premium-priced tea, but she came out with a renewed mission and passion.

Zhena’s story is one of perseverance and heart. But her story doesn’t have to be extraordinary or one-in-a-million. We certainly don’t have to sing the praises of the “little tea company that could” and then return to our own uninspired, half-fulfilled lives.

Perseverance isn’t a super power, it’s a human habit. Sure, it may be tough to keep going, especially after a long day, rejection after rejection, and stifling limitations. It may seem as if your reserves of perseverance and strength have finally run out.

But this is when you need to whip out your secret weapon, the thing that will restore your reserves and keep you chugging along. No one ever said you need to persevere alone—a little help and inspiration can be enough to get you back on your feet.

For Zhena, it was a teacup brimming with exotic, flavorful, revitalizing tea. This was her sanctuary, where she’d retreat after a rough day to remind herself of her mission and mull over her next move. Zhena’s teacup acts as a gentle push to reach her full potential.

I love a cup I can wrap both hands around as I raise it to my lips. A cup is a touchstone of tranquility, or warmth and nourishment. It is also a measure of capacity, for how much a cup can hold is critical for anchoring our experience. The thinness of a cup’s walls conveys the craftsmanship and mindfulness that went into its making. If you truly notice the cup you drink from, you create a meaningful ritual that infuses your tea drinking and your life.

Keep going. Find that cup of tea, a journal, an old family portrait, a hike in the woods. Take a moment to recognize the things that truly re-energize you and make a commitment to incorporate them into your daily life.

Healing the World Through Business

On September 8-12, Zhena will be hosting a virtual en*theos conference on responsible business. She is featuring 29 responsible business experts who will share their top tools, techniques and ideas on how to make a positive impact on the world no matter what industry you work in.

Get your free ticket, cozy up with a cup of tea and learn how to align your business with your goal to change the world for the better.

Giveaway

To enter to win a copy of Zhena Muzyka’s Life By The Cup, answer the following questions in the comments by Friday, September 12:

Comment to be entered to win: What is your comfort activity when your chips are down?

About Marisol Dahl

Marisol is currently a Sociology and Education Studies major at Yale University. A longtime New Yorker, she is interested in pursuing a career in education and child advocacy. Marisol started her blog in 2011 as a way to document her college years and beyond. When not running around campus and catching up with her school reading, she enjoys spending time with her family, reading dystopian fiction and volunteering in her community. She can be reached on Twitter at @marisoldahl.

Longing for the Start of School...sort of

by Rebecca Fraser-Thill

When you think of autumn, what springs to mind? Crisp evenings? Shortening days? Earthy scents? Halloween pranks?

Oh come on, you're holding back. Just try to convince me you don't think of school.

And no wonder you do:  after umpteen-odd years of trucking off to pencils, books, and dirty looks at the first drop of a leaf, autumn and school are strongly associated in our minds.

Which is fine and all. Until this association starts making us think we want something that we don't.

The Dangerous Fall/Grad School Link

Let's get this out of the way up front, lest I be labeled an anti-gradschoolite. There are many valid, terrific reasons to attend grad school. For instance:

• Working toward better placement/career potential in a field in which you have proven and sustained interest
• Increasing your knowledge of a subject about which you have proven and sustained interest
• Engaging with the brightest minds in an area in which you have proven and sustained interest

(Sense a theme?)

If everyone were attending grad school for valid reasons, though, I wouldn't see a sudden surge in "hey former prof, I'm thinking of going to grad school!" emails every darn autumn. Which I do. Every year. The onslaught is a-coming.

To understand why the "huh, grad school is sounding good" blitz is a seasonal phenomenon, we must travel back in time to our childhood falls. In particular, to the prelude of our first day at school. (Cue the wavy lines and do-do-do-do music.)

The New-School-Year Scene:  Your mom is ironing the brand-new outfit you’ll wear on your first day, and you’re loading your crisp, clean backpack with all manner of school supplies. Your erasers are pink and four-cornered. Your pencils are sharp and smell like a day in the words. Your notebooks are ripe with blank pages so fresh and new that they stick to one another in their spiral spine.

Can you feel it?

I'll bet you can.

For twentysomethings, The New-School-Year Scene is as irresistible as the (ever so brief) 'N Sync reunion.

Why Twentysomethings Crave Autumns from the Past

Why is the draw of school in the fall so overwhelming to us when we're in our twenties (and perhaps far beyond)? Because those are the years when we're positively unmoored by the lack of what I call The 3 P’s:  possibility, predictability, and purpose.

When we conjure The New-School-Year Scene, those 3 P's become tangible all over again. We remember what it felt like to be poised on the edge of an entire new existence. Life seemed organized, opportunity-filled, and oh-so-beautifully structured.

No wonder, then, when autumn comes lugging its conditioned associations to The New School Year Scene we think:

“Oh! I could have those feelings again! I want that! I think I’ll go to grad school!”

Sorry to break it to you, but once college ends, the days of experiencing an externally-imposed sense of the 3 Ps are over. Period.

The twenties are all about accepting that very point. And then figuring out how to create our own internally-driven sense of predictability, possibility and purpose all the same.

This process is often termed "becoming an adult." And it sucks. Totally sucks. No sugarcoating there.

Thing is, going to grad school solve the underlying issue of needing to learn how to create for yourself what the world once created for you.

It only defers it.

(Full disclosure:  I write this not as someone who took my own advice, but rather as a recovering Autumn-Allure Addict. Yes, a AAA. As bad as it gets. To avoid facing the fact that my days of externally-derived 3 Ps were over, I jumped into grad school AND teaching. That's right, I'm here to scare you straight.)

The Problem With Going to Grad School To Relive the Fall of Our Childhood

Point number two why grad school is the wrong answer if the idea is only hitting you in the fall:  not only does grad school fail to provide the 3 P's for the long run, it also fails to square with nostalgia.

To see what I mean, please join me again in my time machine. This time we're traveling back to about two months into any given school year.

The Two-Months-Into-School Scenario:  You’re back to wearing hand-me-down clothes that fit awkwardly and get you teased. Your backpack’s bottom has blackened and the zippers have begun to show signs of rebellion. Your erasers have turned into dark, amorphous blobs that are inexplicably sticky. Your pencils are perpetually broken and smell of cheese puffs. And your notebooks? Oh, your notebooks. Once a stack of possibility, they now hold words and symbols you barely care to try to understand and their voluminous ranks have been decimated from notes passed to friends and paper airplanes flown at substitutes.

Had you forgotten that scene? Ours minds are convenient like that, scraping the moderately crapping portions of life from our memories. Hence the onset of Twentysomething School Nostalgia.

This delusional nostalgia is a major issue. I’d wager it causes a good portion of poor-grad-school choices, with desire to impress and social comparisons being the other major reasons. (Or you can be really "awesome" and go for the trifecta like I did!)

The reality is that grad school consists much more of the Two-Months-Into-School Scenario and barely any of the New-School-Year Scene.

In fact, you don’t even get The-New-School Scene beyond the first year of grad school - if you even get that - because you work your behind off year-round. And you’d better be damned sure that you care about the words and symbols that you’re writing in notebooks because you won’t only be jotting them down, you’ll be creating some of those jammies of your very own.

(For the record, the same could be said of teaching, so don’t even go there unless you have a “proven and sustained interest” in pedagogy. Identical urge, different cloak.)

How to Fight the Annual Siren Call to Go to Grad School

So if you now recognize that your sudden desire to go to grad school is born more of the leaves a-changing than your purpose calling to you, how can you fight the insincere urge?

1) Start by accepting what you’re actually craving each autumn:  a return to a life you’ve outgrown. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the rhythms of childhood and the comforts those rhythms brought.

“Our twenties can be like living beyond time. There are days and weeks and months and years, but no clear way to know when or why any one thing should happen. It can be a disorienting, cavelike experience.” –Meg Jay, The Defining Decade

2) After grieving, create ways of infusing your current existence with hints of seasonality. It’ll take the edge off the false allure of autumn. For instance:

• Schedule a day-long clothes shopping trip every fall.  Bonus:  take mom with you - nostalgia and financial support in one fell swoop!
• Go back to using a paper planner and choose an academic year one even though you now live on a calendar – or fiscal! - year
• Reinvigorate your office supplies every fall with a fresh infusion of pens and desk organizers. And some of those big rubber erasers. Just for kicks.

3) Make a concerted effort to construct the 3 P's – purpose, possibility, and predictability – for yourself. This is, of course, a humongous task. No wonder I've devoted an entire website to the process.

All in all, do whatever you have to do to experience the clear path, opportunities, and “my life is all in order” feeling of your childhood autumns…without jumping into grad school. At least until grad school, not nostalgia, is truly what's calling you. Your wallet, social life, and mental stability will thank you for it.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below:

What are you going to do to create a sense of purpose, possibilities and predictability this Fall – without entertaining the sudden notion of going back to school?

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About Rebecca

Rebecca Fraser-Thill is the founder of Working Self, a site that helps young adults create meaningful work - that actually pays the bills! She teaches psychology and is the Director of Program Design for Purposeful Work at Bates College. Her work has been featured throughout the media, including on The Huffington Post, The Chelsea Krost Show, and Stacking Benjamins. Follow her @WorkingSelf.

How to Conquer Your Fear Of Public Speaking

We humans can be pretty funny, can’t we? Any species would have to have a sense of humor to evolve the way we did. Because could you actually guess that our number one fear is public speaking? In fact, surveys show that we fear it more than death. And yet public speaking and proper communication skills might just be the most important thing we will learn on this planet.

We fear the very thing that will bring us success. I hate to say it, but I am one of the 75% of people in this world who would rather eat a fistful of worms than get up on stage.

But I don’t want it to be like that. I don’t want my speaking anxiety to keep me from standing up in front of the classroom to share my research, or from asking a question as an audience member, or from walking into a room and confidently introducing myself.

No fear should ever keep us from sharing our ideas and opinions.

And this is why I am so so excited for the Speak Like A Pro virtual conference. Five days with some of the best speakers and thought leaders out there. I can’t wait to hear all their tips on how to calm nerves, practice like a pro, connect with the audience, and still be authentic and, well, real.

I was so eager I decided to do a little interviewing myself with the Life After College crew.

The Life After College Team on how to Speak Like A Pro

Melissa, tell us about your process for structuring and organizing speeches:

"The first thing I do when structuring my speeches is to create a bullet list of the three or four key takeaway items I want the audience to leave with. Whether it's a shift in mindset, new knowledge points, or a big idea - I start with these points as the basis of the talk/or a loose outline.

From there, I fill in the content with a story or anecdote to ensure that the talk is engaging and relatable, and end with placing the transitions, additional explanations and stage actions."

—Melissa Anzman

Davis, what is the most important thing you do to practice for a presentation?

"The first time I was asked to give a speech was in 3rd grade for Black History month. I was assigned the role of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.,  a great honor. I researched everything I could and even read his MSN Encarta entry (this was before Wikipedia). Up until the day I was suppose to give my report in front of my class, I had done everything except practice. I thought the words would naturally come out of my mouth; after all Dr. King gave great impromptu speeches and even Ms. Britton, my 3rd grade teacher, did not have a script when she taught us.

In short, when it was my time to speak, I had no lines memorized, I didn’t even have a script; I froze, didn’t say a word, and had to be escorted back to my seat. I received an F on the assignment.

That was 12 years ago and since, I have won multiple state public speaking competitions, been a finalist in multiple national competitions, and delivered multiple key notes. My secret? Making time to practice. Everyone from Tony Robbins to my mentor Susan Cain, who have both built careers public speaking, practice their speeches daily, what excuse do I have not to?"

—Davis Nguyen

Rebecca, how do you ensure you are connecting with your audience?

When I'm giving a talk, I make sure to actively read my audience throughout: is anyone nodding along, smiling at my ridiculous jokes, glaring, sleeping, running for the exit? This audience read is only worth as much as I'm willing to act on that read and change course, though - and that's the scary part.

So I've worked to get comfortable with being somewhat spontaneous. When I'm working with slides it's hard or impossible to fully alter my path, of course, but what I say with each slide often varies depending on what's happening in front of me. I find that the best way to lose an audience is to have a speech prepared and to hold to it stubbornly, come dirty looks or confused glances.

I'm also a big believer in the use of self-effacing humor. The expert advice on speaking probably holds something like, "act confident and your audience will feel at ease" but I find that personally, the more uncoordinated and self-conscious I act, the more people are right there with me. That's because, at heart, I am uncoordinated and self-conscious.

I find that it's all about being comfortable with vulnerability - both my own and that of the people listening to me. When I'm willing to good-naturedly point out my faults - without getting anywhere near self-pity, of course - and perhaps run into a podium or chair while I talk, all the better for the likeability factor, and for my audience's willingness to open up to me in return.

But this last point brings up the most important matter of all: being self-effacing and appearing physically clumsy is my shtick. It's what works for me. If someone else tried it, it might be a total disaster, just as it's a total disaster when I attempt to appear perfectly polished and pulled together, which I've tried more often than I care to admit.

It's like a story a colleague recently told me: days before she had a big speech, her partner encouraged her to "be inspiring - like Obama!" My reserved, thoughtful colleague thought the 180-degree turn from her usual approach might be just what she needed to make her audience enthralled. Long story short, my colleague is no Obama, and the more she tried, the worse the talk went. Her partner was actually in the back of the room covering her eyes by the end.

Above all else, audiences sense authenticity. So being who I truly am - and sizing up the audience as I go to make sure my authentic self is connecting - are the ways I keep an audience in their seats...and their minds in the room, too!"

—Rebecca Fraser-Thill

Jenny, do you ever get nervous before a speech? How do you deal with those last-minute anxieties?

"I almost always get hit with a huge wave of nerves before delivering a speech, whether I'm in front of 50 people or 500; but the most helpful thing for me to remember is that it is a wave, not permanent state or a reason to panic.

If I take three deep breaths, pace a little bit (where no one can see me), and open and close my fists a few times, I can usually work out the extra adrenaline in my body before going on stage. Even if I still have a pounding heart when I first start, it will often calm itself down after a few minutes.

Public speaking understandably engages our fight-or-flight response. As author Scott Berkun put it in his book Confessions of a Public Speaker:

• We are an animal standing alone on an open plane
• With no weapons and nowhere to hide
• With dozens (if not hundreds of eyeballs staring at us)

Evolutionarily speaking, this is a scenario in which we were surely about to die! So our bodies produce extra adrenaline to help us high-tail it out of there.

The key when public speaking is to give this adrenaline something to do, so that it doesn't express itself in a shaky voice (or if you're like me, a whole shaky leg). From a post I did earlier this year on Michael Bay's CES freak-out, here are 5 Tips for Handling an In-the-Moment Flood of Nerves:

1. First and foremost, you must breathe. This is critical. Take a few moments just to collect yourself and breathe. Take in a nice big inahle of air. The audience will hardly notice and it will start to reactivate your relaxation response, letting your brain and body know they are safe.
2. Second, if you’re in a Bay or Blake Situation (hah) try to laugh! Crack a joke. Which brings me to number 3:
3. BE YOURSELF! Nobody expects you to be perfect, especially when they can clearly see that things are going haywire.
4. Acknowledge the issue. Bay did a good job of saying, “The type is all off . . . sorry, I’ll just wing it.” Okay, great! Now breathe and ad lib. Take an improv class if you want to get more comfortable with this.
5. KEEP GOING! This is critical! The show must go on! Don’t make a fight-or-flight response worse with the internal monologue of, “Well now you’re really fucking it up.” Or, “Screw those tech guys — this should not be happening! My reputation is ruined!” Acknowledge the snafu, but KEEP. GOING. An American Psychological Association study even recently found that Getting Excited Helps with Performance Anxiety More Than Trying to Calm Down. The worst thing you can do is start freaking out about freaking out.

People will love you more for keeping strong and (awkwardly) carrying on.

—Jenny Blake

Paul, what inspired you to get into the business of public speaking?

"There is no other work that makes me feel more alive than up on stage doing my best to bring an audience to life. Because as a public speaker I feel like I'm part performer, artist, advocate, comedian, entertainer, teacher, and story-teller -- changing my role from one sentence to the next.

Public speaking requires me not only to fully be myself, but to be more than I thought I was capable of. It requires me to be fully present as I strive to present something that might change someone's life from that moment on."

—Paul Angone

More About Speak Like a Pro

The Speak Like A Pro conference is going on now through Friday, August 29.

Conquer your fear and get your free ticket here!

Don't Read These Three Books If You're Happy Being Mediocre

By Davis Nguyen I love being able to spend a Sunday afternoon with just a glass of lemonade and a book in my hand, but although a Sunday alone is my ideal, it doesn't happen all that often.

Luckily (or unluckily), between the 7-hour road trips, 5-hour delayed flights, and 2 hours waiting at the DMV this summer, I’ve found myself with plenty of time to read. A few of the books I've read lately have even been life-changing.

A disclaimer before we jump in to my favorite summer reads: some of you might not be in the mood for a life-changing, enlightening, all-around-awesome book. Some of you may be happy with mediocrity. You might not want to improve yourselves and bolster your careers.

So, to save you the trouble, I'm just going to tell you right off the bat why you shouldn't pick up these books.

Meditations: A New Translation

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

—Marcus Aurelius

Why You Shouldn’t Read It:

Sure Aurelius lost his father when he was 3, his son when he took the throne, and his wife a few years after. And, sure, he inherited political unrest in the Roman senate and one of his most trusted friends tried to stage a civil war to take over his empire, but that's kid's stuff, right? You’ve definitely been through more, and you're happy to suffer. Aurelius might offer insight into how to find tranquility when it seems your life is just a tragedy for an audience to watch, but really you're just ready to take your own personal tragedy into Act II and continue with your sob-story. You’ve don't need to overcome your self-doubt and your fear of death. Definitely don't read this book if you don't want to find the calm in the storm.

The Obstacle is the Way

“What matters most is not what these obstacles are but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure.”

—Ryan Holiday

Why You Shouldn’t Read It:

You enjoy complaining and making excuses for yourself. In fact you get as much pleasure from thinking of why you can’t do something, than from actually achieving it. Once you read Ryan Holiday’s book, you’ll lose your ability to find pleasure in making justifications for not being who you want to be. Why would you want to read about people like Abe Lincoln, Mother Teresa, and Nelson Mandela who found ways to turn their obstacles into opportunity? Just put the book back on the bookshelf and continue staring at all those obstacles that seem impossible to overcome.

The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life

“The best time to start was last year. Failing that, today will do.”

—Chris Guillebeau

Why You Shouldn’t Read It:

You don’t need Chris to inspire you with stories of ordinary people working toward extraordinary goals and making daily down payments on their dreams. You don’t want a book that challenges you to take the controls of your life, because, well, that's too much effort anyway, isn't it?

So please, whatever you do, don't waste your time on these books.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below:

What was the best book you’ve read this summer?

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About Davis

Davis (@IamDavisNguyen) graduated from Yale University in 2015. He currently lives in San Francisco and works at Bain & Company. When he’s not helping CEOs transform their companies, he is helping recent graduates figure out the type of life they want for themselves and helping them get there.

Speak Like a Pro: Free Virtual Conference

Written by Jenny Blake

Public speaking doesn’t have to be a fate worse than death (nor does it have to give you hives, as often used to happen to me). That’s why I set out to find what the top experts in storytelling, body language and behavior change had to say on the subject.

Earlier this year I recorded 25 interviews with experts and thought-leaders for a virtual conference on how to Speak Like a Pro. It was an honor to connect with some of the authors and speakers I most admire; we talked about how to engage audiences, practice effectively, and connect with an audience of any size.

By the end of this conference, you'll learn: 

• How to structure a presentation effectively to enact positive behavior change
• The brain science behind how to practice your delivery to nail your content without notes
• Physiological tips for calming nerves on the big day
• Pointers for delivering a speech in an engaging, concise manner
• How to build a strong reputation and profitable business as a professional speaker

Here’s a 3-minute video overview:

Sign-Up and Share

Reserve your free ticket here!

I’d love your help spreading the word too . . . here are a few click-to-tweets if you’re willing 

[Tweet This] Public speaking doesn’t have to be a fate worse than death—free virtual conference on Speaking Like a Pro: http://bit.ly/SpeakLikeAProConf

[Tweet This] 25 top speakers weigh in on calming nerves, practicing effectively, and influencing an audience of any size: http://bit.ly/SpeakLikeAProConf

[Tweet This] Want to learn how to Speak Like a Pro? @jenny_blake interviews 25 experts for a free virtual conference in August: http://bit.ly/SpeakLikeAProConf

[Tweet This] Speak Like a Pro virtual conference with @Jenny_Blake starts Aug. 25! Get your free ticket here: http://bit.ly/SpeakLikeAProConf

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About Jenny

Jenny Blake is the bestselling author of Life After College, a career and business strategist and an international speaker who helps smart people organize their brain, move beyond burnout, and build sustainable, dynamic careers they love. Jenny combines her love of technology with her superpower of simplifying complexity to help clients through big transitions — often to pivot in their career or launch a book, blog or business.

Today you can find her here on this blog (in it's seventh year!) and at JennyBlake.me, where she explores the intersection of mind, body and business. Follow her on Twitter @jenny_blake.

Stuck? Here's How to Pivot Your Career (Video)

Written by Jenny Blake Once just relegated to the mid-life crisis, inexplicable tumult became socially acceptable in one's twenties too; in 2007, Alexandra Robbins coined the term “quarterlife crisis” as a rite of passage at the ripe old age of 25.

In a world filled with economic uncertainty, one in which technology continues to transform our lives at warp speed, this "crisis" state will only become more common. But instead of supporting millennials through this massive shift, for most of this decade the mainstream press has taken to berating us for being “the entitled generation” and for “wanting too much.”

As recently as this past weekend (!!) an op ed writer in The New York Times got my blood boiling with an article that concluded with the following statement:

“It is unlikely we will ever see another generation that is as self-obsessed and feckless as the millennials, yet still feels so undeservedly entitled to the keys to the kingdom.”

By calling these career aspirations a crisis, and even shaming and blaming millennials for being unsure of how to add meaning in a volatile economy, we are missing a huge opportunity to embrace the learning and insight that can result from deliberately shifting our focus and optimizing for growth and greater contribution.

So let's stop seeing it as a crisis, and start seeing these career pivots as part of our new reality, one that we must all embrace moving forward. In the video below, I share my new framework for becoming more agile within your life and career.

How to Pivot Your Career: A Conversation with Kevin Kermes

Free Webinar: Find Your Dream Job

If you're ready to take the next steps in your own career pivot but aren't quite sure where to start, check out Ramit Sethi's Dream Job course. He is hosting a free webinar on August 14 on Cracking the Code: How to land "hidden" jobs and build a career you love. Ramit usually doesn't record his webinars, so definitely make it live if you can!

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About Jenny

Jenny Blake is the bestselling author of Life After College, a career and business strategist and an international speaker who helps smart people organize their brain, move beyond burnout, and build sustainable, dynamic careers they love. Jenny combines her love of technology with her superpower of simplifying complexity to help clients through big transitions — often to pivot in their career or launch a book, blog or business.

Today you can find her here on this blog (in it's seventh year!) and at JennyBlake.me, where she explores the intersection of mind, body and business. Follow her on Twitter @jenny_blake.

7 Ways to Worry Less

Written by Paul Angone Do you want to worry less?

Of course you do, right? That’s like me asking if I could send you free bacon (or the tofu equivalent).

Worry is like black mold – it springs up in soggy conditions. Spreads uncontrollably. And often times we don’t realize it’s there until it’s literally killing us.

I'm speaking from experience here because I struggle with worry. Big time.

Each day is full of ripe opportunities to be anxious about something – finances, relationships, my kids, and all the unknowns. I even worry about how much I worry.

But we need to stop. Because…

Worry crushes creativity.

Worry warps wisdom. 

Worry pummels peace.

We must wreck worry before it wrecks us. 

But how?

Here’s seven strategic ways to punch worry where it hurts.

1. Do What You Need to Do 

I can’t tell you how much of my worry comes because I’m simply not doing what I know I should be doing. I’m lost on the Internet when I have a deadline. I’m avoiding projects or hard conversations.

I don't do what I know I should be doing, and then I spend the rest of the time worried I’m not doing what I should be doing. Even an insane person would tell you that's crazy.

Often times the angst and anxiety that comes from worrying is much worse than the task we’re worried about.

2. Make a “Wow! I’m Insanely Blessed” List

How many times have you come up against something that you thought, this time, without a doubt, you were dead meat. And then out of nowhere, the answer, the open door, the finances, the wisdom you needed arrives and everything works out better than you ever could've dreamed.

Your greatest fears that you were sure had no answer usually end up solving themselves.

We’ve been blessed so many times, so why do we continually keep expecting the opposite?

If you keep worrying that you’re in deep crap, that’s exactly how you’re going to feel.

“Most folks are as happy as they have made up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln

3. Get Intentional

I think many of us act like we’re puppets in a play and we’re waiting for something or someone to put us in the right place.

We need to stop letting life just happen. We need to live on purpose. Nothing breeds worry like purposelessness.

“About one third of my patients are suffering from no clinically definable neurosis, but from the senselessness and emptiness of their lives.” - Carl Jung

Define what you want from this life and take steps towards it.

The most important thing we can do with this life is actually live it. 

4. Make Plans (then make plans to make new plans)

You can’t have intentionality without making plans.

Yet, don’t place your plans in stone. Make your plans with Play-Doh -- malleable, adaptable, and fluid.

Being a twentysomething is often times defined by your plans not going as planned.

But the more comfortable you are with the uncomfortable, the less you will worry when things become worrisome.

Accept change. Make new plans. Then move forward.

5. Stop Smoking Your iPhone

The iPhone is our generation's cigarette.

We are the Refresh Generation – constantly getting a hit from our phone for the latest update.

Some of us (myself included) need to admit we have a social media and iPhone addiction. And this addiction breeds in us Obsessive Comparison Disorder, worry, and anxiety.

We can’t fill every second where we should be resting and reflecting with frantic refreshing.

The worst way to be refreshed is continually refreshing your phone.

6. Take a Creative Break

There are powerful healing and calming effects in taking time out to create something. The artists at Plumb write that taking an art break "boosts immune system functioning, reduces anxiety and stress reaction, aids healing, and, of course, increases creative growth."

Worried about something? Maybe it's time to take out a pencil, water colors or Photoshop and get creative.

7. Serve Others 

Sometimes the best way you can be intentional about your life is being intentional about helping others.

Sometimes the best cure for your problems is by helping someone else solve theirs.

As Dale Carnegie of the famed How to Worry Less and Start Living wrote:

“It is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time.”

Get out of your own head for a little while and you might find there’s actually light on the outside.

We'd love to hear from you in the comments below: 

What strategy helps you from worrying? 

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About Paul

Paul Angone is the author of 101 Secrets for your Twenties and the creator of AllGroanUp.com, a place for those asking "what now?" Snag free chapters from his book and follow him at @PaulAngone.

Age 30 Is NOT a Deadline

Written by Rebecca Fraser-Thill

You know what drives me insane? "Under 30" lists. "Young movers and shakers" awards. "Rub It In Your Face That These People Got Their Acts Together Faster Than You" roll calls.

Under 30 lists are everywhere. Forbes has one, Inc. has one, GQ has one. Even "hot seller" Realtor magazine has one. And how many people are on each list? You guessed it:  30. The lack of originality astounds.

These lists make it seem like doing things younger means doing them better. Like there's no point in trying when you pass the ripe ol' 30 mark. Like we might as well throw our diplomas in the shredder and join Dancing With the Losers if we're not markedly successful one-third of the way into our lifetimes.

Every time I convince one of my students that they don't have to conquer the world by 25 (or 30, or even - gasp - 35) - heck, every time I convince myself that I don't have to - one of these damn lists comes out and messes with our heads.

Why else would 86% of twentysomethings say they feel the need to be successful before age 30? It's the ridiculous lists. And, I suppose, the youth-obsessed culture that eagerly produces and consumes them. But that's not as much fun to blame.

For our sanity's sake, let's get some things straight:

The People on "Young and Successful" Lists are Freaks

The 20somethings lionized on "wow, look at 'em doing so much so young!" lists are on there precisely because they're non-normative. If they were like average people - or even like typical above-average people - the lists would be bloated and pointless.

These people are the 0.001% of the population who have managed to do something remarkable early in life. Trying to be like them is like trying to look like Gisele Bundchen or Tom Brady (or, most likely, their offspring...can we say genetics?).

We've accepted that we can't all be gorgeous, or pro athletes, or live a life of luxury. Yet we somehow feel that we all should be making our mark by 25 or 30. How unrealistic is that?

"Earlier" Doesn't Mean "Better"

Malcolm Gladwell did a pretty convincing job of striking down the "earlier = better" notion in his article Late Bloomers and book Outliers.

"Genius, in the popular conception, is inextricably tied up with precocity—doing something truly creative, we’re inclined to think, requires the freshness and exuberance and energy of youth." - Malcolm Gladwell

He goes on to assert that someone can be a prodigy - an individual who demonstrates remarkable abilities at a young age - and yet do little with those abilities in the long run. Prodigies simply develop earlier than their peers, that's what makes them stand out. Once their peers catch up, many prodigies blend into the background.

So those people on the "I'm Young and Awesome" Lists? They better watch out because we're coming for 'em.

Age of Success Varies by Field

Another reason Under 30 lists are ridiculous is because what's remarkable in one field is ho-hum in another.

Physicists, poets and chess masters tend to create their best work early in life. I think I'm safe in saying that most of us are not those things. That means that the fields we're in have mid-life or later peaks. In fact, the more "ambiguous and unclear" the field's concepts are, Max Fisher writes in The Atlantic Wire, the later important work is produced.

So figure out what's the norm for your field, not what's the remarkable exception for some other field (which is what's usually portrayed on the youth-centric lists). To focus on the latter is to pile meaninglessness on top of meaninglessness.

Time Pressure Paralyzes

Here's the true bottomline to the entire "young is amazing!" issue:  the more time pressure a person perceives, the worse their performance is. In other words, our obsession with succeeding young may be the very thing standing in the way of our success.

Granted, time pressure findings are usually found in laboratory psychology studies in which there's short-term pressure on a concrete task. But I'd argue that these findings are applicable to long-term time pressure, too. As one researcher on the topic, Michael DeDonno, said, "If you feel you don't have enough time to do something, it's going to affect you."

Notably, it's our perception of not having enough time - not the actual amount of time we have - that makes us perform poorly. To combat this, DeDonno told Science Daily, "Keep your emotions in check. Have confidence in the amount of time you do have to do things. Try to focus on the task and not the time. We don't control time, but we can control our perception. It's amazing what you can do with a limited amount of time."

Stop aiming to be a success by 30 and you just might become one. Or, at the very least, you'll be freed from a life spent obsessively tracking birthdays, leaving you mental space to instead focus on your life's work itself.

But, hey, what do I know? I already went over the youth hill. Which is a relief. Life’s much better over here on the “I’ll Never Make a 30 Under 30 List” List.

A little bitter, perhaps. But better.

Want to explore this topic further? Then check out this panel discussion I participated in on HuffPost Live.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below:

Do you feel like age 30 is a deadline? Why do you think we have that idea in our heads? And how can we fight it?

Photo Credit: bicameral

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About Rebecca

Rebecca Fraser-Thill is the founder of Working Self, a site that helps young adults create meaningful work - that actually pays the bills! She teaches psychology at Bates College and is a career coach. Her work has been featured throughout the media, including on The Huffington Post, The Chelsea Krost Show, and Stacking Benjamins. Follow her @WorkingSelf.

Followers Don’t Equal Influence or Support

Written by Melissa Anzman

There must be something in the water these days. The number of times I have had someone say to me that they aren’t really worried about making a sale or getting promoted because they “have a huge following on social media,” is driving me bananas.

I’m not sure when social media followers earned such a high ranking of influence in our society, but let me clear something up for you – followers do not equal influence or support. This is especially true when you are working in a traditional job.

Obviously your social media friends, followers or hoards (you know those requests you approve because the numbers count!), can play a role in your overall career, but they are not worth much at face value alone. Since their value is vastly different in a traditional job versus any type of business you start, I’m going to break their value down separately.

Social Media Peeps in Traditional Jobs

It seems ludicrous to think that social media followers can influence a promotion or new job… and for the most part, you’re right. The number of friends you have in any one outlet, is not going to be an active influencer in your overall success. I hate to break that news to you… well, honestly, my old-self can’t believe I have to. But I digress…

Your promotion-ability within a company, is mostly driven by your capabilities, delivery and likeability at work. Being able to put together and showcase the hard and soft skills. Getting the right influencers on your side within the company will always pay off more than having outside people talking about your awesome.

The importance of having a “tribe” increases when you are seeking a position. And even then, the value of followers and online influence or clout, is more about your network and possibilities there, than your followers influencing companies to hire you.

Bottom Line: Just because you’re a big thing online or on social media, does not mean much to a traditional job prospect/outlet.

In fact, depending on the company and position, it could be detrimental to your chances of being the chosen candidate. I’m not saying that you should get offline – not at all. But you should be careful about how and what you do on social media. Or, if you’re careless, just be sure to put the privacy walls up and in place so you can set it and forget it.

The most effective ways for you to leverage social media when you’re a job hunter or in a traditional job is as follows:

Be on LinkedIn

This is the one social media outlet that having more connections can pay off for you during a job search and when exploring next-level opportunities. Your ability to follow-up with and connect with relevant people will get you the biggest bang for your buck online.

Have a personal website

Get your name as a url and showcase who you are and what value you can add to a company, online. It doesn’t need to be complicated. You don’t need to spend money on getting a graphic designer or anything fancy. But think of your web-presence and an online/interactive resume.

Showcase your talent, update it, make sure it’s user friendly, and allow people to view your resume and connect with you. Your website will likely not be the first thing potential hiring managers and companies will see, but it will add value to the conversation and make you stand out from other candidates. Just be sure that it improves the conversation and is relevant for the types of roles you are seeking. (If you must have a personal blog, do it somewhere else).

Follow the Twitter accounts for companies you want to work at

I’m still not sure how effective tweeting for jobs is, in general, but I do know that most companies will tweet out new positions when they become available. It’s great to follow the job-specific accounts for companies that match your “dream” criteria. Here’s the thing though – interacting with them won’t add much value to your candidacy (in most cases). In other words, the people responding to your tweets will have zero influence in your job candidacy… so save twitter for other things. One big exception – if you are applying for a social media position or at a social media company.

Social Media Peeps as Solopreneurs

Now we’re getting down the fun part… the part where social media seems to have a more direct connection with converting sales. Ah, got your attention have I?

Myth: The number of followers you have is directly related to the number of sales you will make. This is FALSE, so very very false.

It sounds like it will make sense – the more people who like what you’re saying enough to follow you, will automatically be your fan base and so on. After working with many business owners on the back-end, this is absolutely not the case.

Social media followers have a significant role in being a business owner – they provide social proof, give you a community or tribe of people, can help you land a publishing deal (if your following is significant enough), and so on.

But just because people like you onlie does not mean that people will hand over money to you.  

Number of followers isn’t important in the equation of success. It’s a tool – but it is not the most important one to get paid.

1,000 True fans are worth more than 100,000 followers.

Don’t believe me, here are some awesome examples from a few people you know:

• Paul Angone has 2,700 facebook fans on his business page. Yet he still had a best-selling book on his first try!
• Not to mention Jenny Blake’s success with her first book, Life After College – I have no idea how many followers she had at the time, but it was fewer than she has now and it was still a huge success!
• And for me, I was able to sell books (still selling!) and a course with fewer than ahem, 750 followers (and really, I may have had 100 facebook fans at the time).

My point is, stop focusing on the NUMBER of people who make up your following. They are NOT going to be the ones who will buy things from you – they like you well enough, they enjoy the stuff you provide them with, but when it comes to opening their wallets, it’s not an easy sell.

Instead, focus on building fans and engagement… and most importantly, build your email list. The people who invite you and your messages into your inbox, are more connected with you – they are likely more engaged. They are the people who are closer to a sale.

And for the love of Nancy, stop telling me and every single business coach out there that you have a following so you’re not at all concerned about making money. That’s just insane – and it’s really annoying to the people who work very, very hard to make each and every sale. Oh, and if you stop this train of thought now, you won’t be in shock when you do have to make your first sale. :)

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below: What's one thing you will do today, to go after engaged influencers at work or engaged social media fans?

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

How to Write Anything (ever)

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Written by Marisol Dahl

Okay, so we all know the plan.

You know, the plan. The one that our third grade teachers taught us back when we were writing our first paragraphs. You find your topic, brainstorm content, outline and organize, draft and revise.

And then you sit down at your desk, open up a blank Word document, crack your knuckles, and start typing out the best piece of writing man has ever known. You’ve done all your research, you’ve outlined to perfection, the words come magically to you. Your readers are sure to be enchanted. It’s just so easy.

Oh. This doesn’t happen to you? But you’ve followed the plan! What could possibly go wrong?

This happens all too often. A surefire process ends up being a total fail. Instead of a path freeing us from complexity, all it does is keep us frozen in our seats thinking about what terrible writers we are.

Here's the thing about writing that nobody tells you: it doesn't have to be hard.

As Dr. Laura Brown writes in the introduction of her book How to Write Anything: A Complete Guide:

I’ve met people who hate to write and I’ve met people who think their writing is no good. But I’ve never met anyone who “can’t write.”

I don’t know about you, but that was pretty refreshing to read.

With over 30 years of experience teaching people how to write, Dr. Brown gets straight to the point about this whole I’m-a-terrible-writer-virus that’s been plaguing us: a new perspective on the writing process.

Sure, research and outlining and revising are still incredibly important steps to the process. But they don’t necessarily have to happen in that order. Instead, Dr. Brown invites us to dive into writing in the way that feels most natural to us. Writing a first draft might happen before coming to a clear understanding of who you’re writing for, or what the true purpose of your piece is. And that’s okay.

Draft before you research. Outline before you brainstorm. Draft, revise, then draft some more. It’s all good.

Dr. Brown’s How to Write Anything champions this message of freedom and flexibility. This easy-to-use reference book is your go-to guide for anything (and I mean anything) you will ever have to write.

Book Giveaway:

We’re so happy to give away a copy of How to Write Anything by Laura Brown to a Life After College reader—it’s one of those books you’ll keep reaching for in years to come.

To enter to win, answer the following question in the comments by Friday, July 18. We will pick a winner and email to let you know!

Comment to be Entered to Win:

What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to writing?

About Marisol Dahl

Marisol is currently a Sociology and Education Studies major at Yale University. A longtime New Yorker, she started her blog in 2011 as a way to document her college years and beyond. When not running around campus and catching up with her school reading, she enjoys spending time with her family, reading dystopian fiction and volunteering in her community. She can be reached on Twitter at @marisoldahl.

Behind-the-Business: Hot Off the JB Pivot Press

Written by Jenny Blake I have a slightly embarrassing confession: I went to bed last night while it was still light out! Although I felt a bit guilty for "wasting" incredible NYC weather and the European feel of sidewalk dining and twilight mingling, I was wiped out. June has been a pretty insane month for me—all great projects that I'm deeply energized by—but somehow they converged to happen all at once!

Now is the time for ample sleep and EmergenC so that I don't get sick while I wrap up the big push for my book proposal, Lucent (now in iTunes!!), and SpringUps (the hydroponic urban farming start-up I joined). More on each below, modified from updates I shared on the JennyBlake.me blog last week.

Life After College turns 9 years old this December*—thank you for being here, for reading and following along with my crazy solopreneurial adventures, and for supporting the entire team of writers whose genius I am fortunate to share here week after week: standing ovation for Melissa, Paul, Rebecca, Marisol and Davis!

*We are also looking for partners! We are going to be opening up one sponsorship opportunity per quarter, available to highly curated partners who have products and services we really believe in. If your company might be interested in this opportunity, get in touch and we'll send along our Media Kit.

Proposal for Book #2: The Human Pivot (working title)

My agent gave The Human Pivot proposal a green light! Read more about this in my Behind the Business newsletter—I'm revising the proposal and sample chapter as we speak so that we can submit to publishers later this month (with a big push after Labor Day). Start sending good juju for publishers to fight over who gets the rights to it. :) The crazy thing about the publishing timeline is that even with submitting now, the book probably wouldn't be out until January 2016!

I recently talked about pivoting with Charlie Poznek of Boomer Business Owner on a podcast called Learn How to Pivot Strategically as a Lifestyle Entrepreneur (embedded below). For those who prefer reading, download PDF of the Transcript.

I was also honored to be featured on Thomas Frank's College Info Geek podcast on Building the Skill of Adaptability. Thomas is a longtime LAC reader (5 years!!) and in this episode we talk about getting organized, staying open to opportunity, and the process behind my recent pivots.

Lucent Meditation App—Now in iTunes!!

Lucent, the meditation app company I co-founded, officially launched last week! We've been working on the app for 9 months now, and I have to say it's worth the wait—it is gorgeous! And fun — it makes a 5-minute morning meditation sticky and social, even if you have zero experience with meditation.

This is a beta version—we initially planned on testing our "Minimum Viable Product" (MVP in Silicon Valley parlance) with a small group of friends and family, but that group has grown to 350+ people! We're grateful for the support and patience as we build from something very simple to start, then evolve with early users' feedback to make the app more sophisticated over time. Over 200 people have downloaded the app so far the help us test this initial version, and we've loved hearing from people who meditated for the first time thanks to Lucent.

Where to learn more and stay in touch:

• Sign-up here to get behind-the-scenes Lucent updates and be part of future meditation challenges.
• Check out our brand new website!
• For beginner meditation tips and articles follow @LucentApp on Twitter and check out today's post on JennyBlake.me: Are you Meditation Curious? Try our 4-Day Challenge
• Click here to download the Lucent Meditation Getting Started Guide

Business Strategist Pivot: SpringUps Director of Operations

Although I still have a small set of 1:1 clients, I've pivoted from my usual business strategy coaching to take a hands-on consulting role as Director of Operations with SpringUps, an urban farming start-up in Red Hook, Brooklyn. It's a part-time role (~10 hours per week) that kicked off in June; I'm handling all of our internal systems and organization (weee!), brand strategy and website, communications, and community.

From the moment I met the co-founders John & Christian earlier this year, I was blown away by their vision, crazy smarts, and work ethic. And I couldn't help but chime in with my two cents over casual conversation! I love their big plans to revolutionize year-round local pesticide-free produce in New York City, and am honored and very excited to now be officially on board as the other third of the SpringUps brain!

After all these years of doing business coaching 1:1, I'm having so much fun digging in and getting my hands dirty again (farming pun intended!) as we build a big business like this from the ground up. Christian and John were formerly coffee and cotton traders in the open outcry pits on Wall Street, so we're all loving the big learning curve of pivoting to a new industry and making a positive impact on the broader community.

Where to learn more and stay in touch:

• Check out the recently launched SpringUps website!
• Would love for you to give our SpringUps Facebook page a "like" so we can keep you updated on crop giveaways (we bribe with basil!), recipes, and healthy living articles
• You can also subscribe to our insider's newsletter here
• Follow us on Twitter @SpringUpsLLC

Whew! That's it for now . . .

I hope you all have a wonderful Fourth of July weekend!

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About Jenny

Jenny Blake is the bestselling author of Life After College, a career and business strategist and an international speaker who helps smart people organize their brain, move beyond burnout, and build sustainable, dynamic careers they love. Jenny combines her love of technology with her superpower of simplifying complexity to help clients through big transitions — often to pivot in their career or launch a book, blog or business.

Today you can find her here on this blog (in it's seventh year!) and at JennyBlake.me, where she explores the intersection of mind, body and business. Follow her on Twitter @jenny_blake.

Up Your Game: 6 Tips to Network Your Way to the Top (+Giveaway)

By Davis Nguyen I grew up in Riverdale, a poor town outside of Atlanta. To give you an idea of what I mean by poor, our per capita income is $15,337, while the state average and national averages are $36,869 and $42,693 respectively.

Growing up in Riverdale, opportunities were limited for me: I didn’t get a chance to leave my town much, there weren’t many people who I could look up to, and money (lack of) was almost always an issue in some way. My family wanted my cousins, siblings, and me to have more than what we had growing up.

Their answer for social mobility was through education. I attended a under-performing high school, but with a supportive administration and cast of teachers I was able to achieve my and my parents’ dream when I received full scholarships to Yale and Harvard, ultimately choosing Yale. In college I was able to travel, connect with people who were like me, and change my view-point about what was possible. It seemed my family was right: excelling in education meant opening doors.

Who knows you?

In college, while I valued education (I read as much as I could and learned from everyone around me) I learned another valuable lesson: in my early days, I saw freshmen get into senior seminars I didn’t know I could because they knew the professor; sophomores talk their way into invites for events while I was on the waitlist; juniors land prestigious internships without having to be interviewed; and seniors who had low GPAs receive offers from big firms like Google.

I did not resent these people: in fact I saw it as an opportunity to learn from them. The ultimate lesson was: what I knew was important, but who knew me was even more important.

Author David Bradford’s Story

I chose to review David’s book after I learned about our similar childhoods; in fact he had to overcome more than I did.

David grew up in Burbank, California right after World War II and his father was an alcoholic trying to raise seven children. Today, David is the Executive Chairman of HireVue, a tech company providing on-demand digital interviewing, where he previously also served as CEO. In addition David can count Larry King, Steve Young, and Steve Wozniak to be close friends.

David credits his success in his personal and professional life to his network of friends and advisors, a network that has taken him more than six decades to establish and one he continues to build.

Why David wrote Up Your Game

David wrote Up Your Game to show how easy and obvious it is to build a network who will care about your success. Up Your Game is centered around David’s six principles for networking. These principles turn the negative connotations of “networking” into positive views of “connecting” with others.

His six Up Your Game principles are:

1. Start Up: realize that networking is more about giving than receiving
2. Show Up: put yourself in situations to meet people
3. Follow Up: follow-up right after the first contact
4. Link Up: always be connecting and meeting people
5. Stand Up: always protect your reputation
6. Scale Up: realize that building a network takes time

Each chapter in David’s book focuses on one of these principles, provides you with examples from David’s time building his network, and advice on how you can apply them to your own life.

Memorable Quotes

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

Networking is truly more about giving than getting. When making a new contact your first thought should be: “How can I help this new acquaintance?"

Get to know people above you AND below you. Think of the world as more flat in relationships, not so hierarchically.

Remember that you can learn something from everyone. Never underestimate the impact that a single individual can have on your life and business.

Giveaway Time!

We are thrilled to give away two copies of David Bradford’s book to two lucky Life After College readers.

For a chance to win, answer the following question and leave your email in the comments by Friday, July 11 We will pick two winners with Random.org and email to let you know!

Comment to be Entered to Win:

Who is at the top of your networking wish list?

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About Davis

Davis (@IamDavisNguyen) graduated from Yale University in 2015. He currently lives in San Francisco and works at Bain & Company. When he’s not helping CEOs transform their companies, he is helping recent graduates figure out the type of life they want for themselves and helping them get there.

Why We Don't Actually Want to Like Our Jobs

Written by Rebecca Fraser-Thill

Most of us don't want to like our work. We say we do, but we actually don’t.

Especially when we're recent graduates.

Millennials switch jobs about every two years largely out of a search for meaning and purpose at work.

The goal is excellent:  we definitely lead a happier life when we have meaning than when we have scads of money.

The strategy for reaching that goal, though? Not so terrific.

Let me say this up front:  I'm not someone who believes in staying in a job or career path when it's no longer leading us toward the impact we want (need!) to have on the world. Heck, I just coached my own husband out of a decade-long career in public education, financial risks be damned.

That said, I do believe that too often we take the easy route, walking away from jobs that still have a whole lot of untapped potential on the table.

That's why when a career coaching client comes to me and says they want to love their work, I suggest starting with his or her existing job.

The process typically goes something like this:

Together the client and I brainstorm a viable strategy for making their current work life more fulfilling, such as improving interpersonal dynamics, changing the way or the order in which tasks are done, intentionally altering perceptions of the environment, or - shocker! - talking out frustrations with the boss and suggesting concrete changes.

During check-in the next week, though, the client has usually done nothing to make the existing job better.

Instead she's spent oodles of time looking into new jobs or career paths.

Why?

“Because I don’t want to get to know anyone who works at that godforsaken place,” the client often says. Or “The tasks at my job stink so much, I have no interest in making them any better.”

Sure, some work environments need to be ditched. Toxic jobs are a notable example.

But the majority of jobs I've seen have the potential to be more fulfilling than they currently are.

So why fight making it better?

While the exact answer varies person to person, I’ll hazard one guess: Because we’re afraid of liking our jobs.

We're scared that if we start to enjoy our tasks or to think highly of our co-workers we may not - gasp - ever leave.

I totally get it. I felt the same way when I started teaching at Bates College at the ripe young age of 25. I’d just ditched a doctoral program in search of a life beyond academia…and then ended up back in academia.

The last thing I wanted was to like my work tasks, environment, or colleagues! I truly believed that if I started enjoying things the teeniest bit, I’d wake up and find myself 60 years old, doing the same old job, saying, “Where did my life go? This isn’t what I had planned!”

So I sheltered myself from my work and made myself miserable. For years.

Here’s the secret I eventually discovered, though:  The more fulfilled I allowed myself to feel in my day job, the more capable I was of carrying out my life’s “big plans.”

When I was down in the dumps, my motivation and energy took a dive right along with my mood.

Once I stopped fearing that I might get stuck in my job if I found it fulfilling and started allowed myself to squeeze the potential out of it, lo and behold, my desire and ability to "be bigger than" that job began to fall into place.

To be clear, I still teach at Bates. And why wouldn’t I? It’s an awesome gig - I love what I do, where I work, and the people with whom I work. How I didn’t let myself see that during my first few years is not only slightly mysterious, it’s sad.

The key thing, though, is that in the past six or seven years I’ve crafted an entire work life for myself that extends far beyond the walls of the job that I didn’t - and still don’t - want to be my entire work legacy.

In other words, those big plans I always had for myself? I’m making them happen.

Not in spite of my day job. Because of it.

So here's my challenge to you:  what if you opened yourself up to liking your current job?

What if you mustered the courage to ask your supervisor for what you want and need, long before mustering the "guts" to turn in a letter of resignation?

What if you tapped into the reasons you accepted the job in the first place, remembering what you hoped for and doubling down on making those hopes realities?

What if you tested the theory that dream jobs are built, not stumbled upon?

What if you learned to fear being serially unfulfilled more than you fear "settling down"?

What's the worst that could happen? You'll either end up moving on knowing - 100% knowing - that you've wrung every last bit of potential from your existing position.

Or you'll stay put. In the job you always wanted, that you created one change at a time.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below:

Have you ever resisted liking your job? If so, what did you do to overcome that resistance?

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About Rebecca

Rebecca Fraser-Thill is the founder of Working Self, a site that helps young adults create meaningful work - that actually pays the bills! She teaches psychology at Bates College and is a career coach. Her work has been featured throughout the media, including on The Huffington Post, The Chelsea Krost Show, and Stacking Benjamins. Follow her @WorkingSelf.

What It Means to Be Professional (at work)

Written by Melissa Anzman

It was my first day in a real corporate job, I was wearing my business professional (you can’t go casual on day one) outfit, ready to conquer the world. I looked the part, acted the part, but was not feeling the part. I was in the “fake it ‘til you make it” phase of my career – trying so hard to be “professional.”

I’m not really sure where I got the impression that I had to be buttoned up at all times when at work, but it had a long-lasting impact on my career and overall “self.” We are inundated with nuggets of advice like “dress for the job you want,” and act as if you are already in the next position. Decent advice, but how does it all fit into your idea of being “professional?”

I went along with the set expectations of the professional working world – wearing black pants with a suitable blouse daily, answering emails instantaneously, and using acceptable pen colors and notebooks. In other words, I complete erased my own identity at work in the name of being professional.

Looking back, I often wonder if my unhappiness in my corporate world originally stemmed from having to hold back so much of myself, in order to climb up the ladder. I was just so tired of muting my personality and love of color, to live up to someone else’s idea of being professional.

3 new ways to be professional at work – and not lose yourself in the process (and still move up the ladder):

1. Your professional self is an extension of your “home self”

I am all for figuring out how to make things work best in different situations, but don’t lose yourself completely when you show up at work. You want to be recognizable to your work friends at home and home friends at work.

The easiest way to do this is to stop thinking of decisions and actions through a “professional” lens all of the time. In fact, letting some of your true personality shine through will not only make you human, but it will make you more relatable and likeable at work.

For me, it means using the writing materials and pens that make me happy – I do have a bit of an obsession with office supplies. Surround yourself and your work area with things that truly make you smile, engaged and light up. If it’s colored pens, use them – if it’s a picture of your family, put it in your eye-line.

Stop letting yourself be limited by what you have assumed is professional.  Bring YOU to work, even if it’s just in small pieces.

2. You don’t need to conform to general consensus

When you look around your office, most people are probably dressed similarly, agree to items discussed in meetings, and have similar standard expectations. In other words, it’s one big group think.

While it may feel comfortable to get on board with the general consensus, it will also take away from why the company hired YOU to begin with – you have unique ideas and questions to bring to the conversation – bring them.

I’m not saying thumb your nose at the standards, I’m still HR through and through, but you should add in your own flavor to the standard dress code with a pop of color of crazy shoes; ask questions during meetings – or if inappropriate, bring up concerns behind closed doors. Innovation does not come from being “professional” – it comes from having different points of view.

3. Create your own meaning of professional

With so many different work options these days, being professional at work means something vastly different depending on what generation you are in and where you work. Here’s an example –Baby Boomers grew up in a “traditional” work environment, many of them probably had to wear suits and ties to work. Their first definition of professional is way more buttoned up than a Gen Y’s idea of professional where they see work a bit more fluidly. So there may be some ruffled feathers… at first.

But the key component to professionalism is delivering.  If you can add value at every turn, deliver above expectations, have a high standard for hard and soft skills, and be respectful and considerate, your professionalism will be the last thing you should worry about.

Be you at work – with a smidgen of polish, because they are paying you, and redefine what professionalism means to you. And maybe, just maybe, you will find that your job doesn’t feel nearly as limiting as it did before. 

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below: What one thing will you do today, to redefine "professionalism" in your work space? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Welcome to the Real World (+Giveaway!)

welcome-to-the-real-world-lauren-berger

I love symbolism. I’m a sucker for all those stars-aligned, metaphoric, mystical happenings in the world. I don’t know about you, but I eat it up for breakfast. So it’s certainly not lost on me that I am writing about Lauren Berger’s new book Welcome to the Real World: Finding Your Place, Perfecting Your Work, And Turning Your Job into a Dream Career on the anniversary of a day that’s been pretty darn important to my life so far. I’m writing this post on June 10, 2014. Today is the three year anniversary of my high school graduation.

I just finished my junior year of college. I’ve completed three full years--to the day--of college student life. This summer I have my first internship that does not require me to wear the same exact camp counselor shirt. (Dude, I even have my own office. Score.)

The one year countdown to the “real world” has begun. And I’m kind of glad to have Berger’s Welcome to the Real World as my side-kick.

Known to her followers as “The Intern Queen,” Lauren Berger has built a brand around empowering students and recent grads throughout their internship and career journeys. By the time she finished college, Berger had successfully interned at a grand total of 15 companies. In less than ten years, she’s transformed from eager intern to weary assistant to poised and polished CEO. I think we can all take a page out of her book (yes, pun intended).

Berger’s second book, Welcome to the Real World, guides you through your first, second and third job. While geared towards the young, newly-professional woman, the book offers a thorough look into modern-day workplace expectations and culture. Whether you’re just about the enter the “real world” or want to brush up on the most current tools and techniques to make the most of your job, Welcome to the Real World is a great place to start.

Some bite-sized wisdom from The Intern Queen

On success

“Success means being happy in the way you’re spending your time every day. Success is being able to constantly grow and learn, to make mistakes and then pick yourself up the next day.”

On confidence

“Confidence comes from experiencing things and just living life.”

On rejection

“Rejection doesn’t mean never, it just means not right now. … One way to move forward is by having multiple projects going on at the same time. … I find that the more baskets I have, the less likely rejection will ruin my day.”

On humility

“Your boss isn’t a mind reader and remember, you are expected to do a good job and to do your work--that’s part of the job description.”

On career development

“I’d rather you hustle and be happy than make a ton of money and be miserable.”

Book Giveaway!

To enter to win a copy of Welcome to the Real World by Lauren Berger, answer the following questions in the comments by Friday, June 20. We will pick a winner via random.org and email to let you know!

Comment to be Entered to Win:

Was there a specific moment you felt you had officially entered “the real world”?

What would you have done to better prepare yourself for your first job?

About Marisol Dahl

Marisol is currently a Sociology and Education Studies major at Yale University. A longtime New Yorker, she is interested in pursuing a career in education and child advocacy. Marisol started her blog in 2011 as a way to document her college years and beyond. When not running around campus and catching up with her school reading, she enjoys spending time with her family, reading dystopian fiction and volunteering in her community. She can be reached on Twitter at @marisoldahl.

Are You Being a Real.Live.Human?

Written by Paul Angone We are experiencing a dire shortage these days. Not just of oil. Or water. Or food.

We have a shortage of humans.

You wouldn't think in a world of over seven billion people we'd have such a problem. But call this Terminator Five. The machines are taking over.

And I'm not talking about the machines putting together our cars, driving our cars, our planes, our computers -- no I'm talking about us.

We've lost the art of being human.

And in this highly digitized world, it's those who excel the best at being real.live.humans who will experience the most success.

Lack of Real.Live.Humans

What do I mean?

Many of us have forgotten, well, how to be us.

We've lost how to actually be a face behind the name. To be more than a piece of paper. A status update. A picture. A Tweet. A LOL.

We hide behind screens and phones, interacting with each other in ways that require less need for us to really be us.

We apply for jobs as a list of bullet points.

We appeal for support with a mass email. Proud that we addressed it Dear ____.

We say happy birthday with a click of a button.

We buy our groceries without ever making eye contact with the person scanning our Frosted Mini-Wheats. The cashier just an extension of the checkout aisle.

We drape ourselves in routine, forgetting that feeling of new-ness.

We say things that we think should be said instead of saying what we know is right.

Authenticity has become the new buzz word.

But with our auto-drive, auto-text, auto-tweet, auto-think, auto-write: Authenticity has been replaced with Auto-thencity -- an automated version of us that's not really us. 

Your success hinges on your ability or inability to be a real.live.human. 

Three Key Places to be Human

1. Job Search

It is those who shake a hand and look into eyes, who will win the job. A resume has no face. A piece of paper is too easy to say no to. A person with a smile, laugh and a story is much harder. Humans want to help humans. Humans love reaching out a hand to pick up another. When looking for a job, somehow, someway you must become a human to the human on the other side. No matter how "green" we get, humans will always crumble up paper before a person.

2. Dating/Marriage

If you place your relationship on auto-pilot, you will crash. I say this reminder more to myself than anyone else.

I forget far too easily that my wife trumps other deadlines, dreams, and desires. Every night that my computer takes precedent over her is a night that I have screwed up.

Having an affair with my computer is not how I want my wife and kids to remember me.

Turn off auto-pilot Paul. Put your hands back on the wheel. Fly the plane you swore you would fly.

3. Friendship

If I call a friend back within a weeks time, I consider that doing a pretty good job. Two weeks - two months is most likely the norm.

Sure life is busy. Too freaking busy. But too busy for friends?

Too busy to make a phone call? What five minutes? Five minutes to connect with a person I swore I would never lose contact with?

Sounds easy. So why have I resorted to texts and Facebook? A wall is no place to make friends.

The Impact of Humanity

It is the real.live.humans who will inherit the earth.

We need those who will call out to others in a real voice by their real name.

We need to rise above the drab of the impersonal.

Even within technological forms which are not going away, how can we promote personality and purpose through a medium that can possibly diminish both.

Because humans desire interaction with real humans. Humans desire for the taste of real relationships not contrived on cliches.

We yearn for those special people who can call out the person inside of us. 

This is a cry for us to come alive. By God, I hope I answer the call...

I'd love to hear from you in the comments section on this article: 

What's one way you can be more human today? 

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About Paul Angone

Paul is the author of 101 Secrets for your Twenties and the creator of AllGroanUp.com, a place for those asking "what now?" Snag free chapters from his book and follow him at @PaulAngone.

Big Joy Comes in Suprisingly Small Boxes

Written by Jenny Blake It's so easy to fall into the trap of pinning our happiness to the piñata of far-off big wins. THE job, THE monthly income target, THE ONE.

Attaching to these big happiness hypotheses as the route to joy is a bit like buying a lottery ticket every day. Oftentimes even when we get what we want, we are surprised by how it actually feels.

And eventually, often shocking quickly, we return to that pining state for The Next Big Thing. The Buddhists call this Samsara—the cycle of death and rebirth that befalls attaching to things in the material world.

Every new experience comes with its own joys and its own challenges.

Some experiences (like break-ups) feel like all challenge, no joy. But there is deep joy and heart-opening to be found in the cracks of sadness. And sometimes the best surprises in life are ones you couldn't have predicted or invented in your wildest dreams.

Like any motivated, future-oriented planner, it's so easy for me to pine for the "big" things I don't yet have.

But when I really slow down and look at my life, it's the small quiet moments that bring me the most joy.

It's fresh air, talking with my family, taking a great yoga class, walking outside through the streets of New York, sitting at the park with friends, watching dogs amble down the street, and working on companies and ideas I am passionate about.

I was talking with friends last night about the even smaller life minutiae like doing dishes and making the bed. I see these tasks as a sign of respect to my future self: "Hi Future Self! You're going to head to the sink tomorrow morning to make your tea. I'll leave it clean for you." Even if only by 1%, I'm a teeny bit happier in the midst of my morning fog when I don't have to clean up yesterday's mess. Clean sink, clean mind.

Introducing the Lucent Meditation App

One project I'm thrilled to be working on (with an incredible team) is a new app for people who describe themselves as "meditation curious" — you've heard about the many benefits of meditation, but aren't quite sure how to start.

Starting a meditation practice last year (after YEARS of resisting it) is one of the things that has made the biggest impact on my overall sense of equanimity, joy and self-awareness. Even just five minutes helps me feel like I'm recharging the battery of my brain back up to 100%.

Lucent facilitates a short 5-minute morning ritual that emphasizes emotional analytics and strategic action. We're going to be launching a beta version soon and would love for you to be part of our 4-day meditation challenge pilot!

If you're interested, you can sign-up here.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments:

What are the smallest moments that bring you the most joy? 

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About Jenny

Jenny Blake is the bestselling author of Life After College, a career and business strategist and an international speaker who helps smart people organize their brain, move beyond burnout, and build sustainable, dynamic careers they love. Jenny combines her love of technology with her superpower of simplifying complexity to help clients through big transitions — often to pivot in their career or launch a book, blog or business.

Today you can find her here on this blog (in it's seventh year!) and at JennyBlake.me, where she explores the intersection of mind, body and business. Follow her on Twitter @jenny_blake.

Body of Work: What's Your Legacy? (+Giveaways)

Written by Davis Nguyen If you could choose the words on your epitaph, what would you want it to say?

Pam Slim’s Body of Work: Finding the Thread That Ties Your Story Together explores this question by asking, “What is the legacy you want to leave behind?”

Pam defines a body of work as “everything you create, contribute, affect, and impact. For individuals, it is the personal legacy you leave at the end of your life.”

Why is it important to have a Body of Work?

One of the central premises of Pam’s book is that we live in a time where change and shifts in our professional lives happen frequently and often with little notice. This is normal as the economy is unstable and the future unpredictable. We have to be ready for this change when and where it happens, and the way to do that is by creating a larger narrative about the story of our work and strengths.

The role you have now is not the only one you will have in your lifetime. There is no longer a linear path to your career.

It’s likely that many of us won’t stay in the same industry, let alone the same role our entire lives. By identifying your “Body of Work”, you give yourself a whole new way to look at your career. You view your current role as a part of the legacy you will ultimately leave behind and seek opportunities to build on your legacy.

How do I Identify my Body of Work?

Over the course of the book, Pam shares sage advice on achieving our long-term goals, exercises to help identify what truly matters to each of us, and stories of people like John Legend, Brené Brown, and Martha Beck about how they developed their Body of Work.

Pam breaks down the book into the following chapters to help define the story you want to tell yourself and the story you want others to know.

• Define Your Roots (What you value and who do you want to serve?)
• Name Your Ingredients (What skills do you have/want to develop?)
• Choose Your Work Mode (What type of work do you want to do?)
• Create and Innovate (How do you test your ideas?)
• Surf the Fear (How do you overcome your fears?)
• Collaborate (How do you find people to support your dreams?)
• Your Definition of Success (What does success really mean to you?)
• Share Your Story (How do you spread your story?)

What can I expect from Body of Work?

Here are some of my favorite passages from the book:

On Creating Your Own Success, Chapter: Collaborate

“Martha Beck once told me: ‘Every time I go to a cocktail party, well-meaning authors or experts corner me with a copy of their book, asking in a hushed tone ‘would you mind giving my book to Oprah when you are in her office?’ What they should be asking is: ‘What were the most powerful steps you took to prepare yourself to be on Oprah?’”

On knowing your roots/values, Chapter: Defining Your Roots

“When you name your roots…you remind yourself why your struggle is worth it in the long run.”

On Moving Past Fear, Chapter: Surf the Fear

“While it is normal for people to get depressed or afraid about the unknown, the key is to keep moving forward by focusing on the future. If you focus on what you want in your life instead of what you don’t want, you’ll see your opportunities expand.”

Interview with Pam Slim

In my 25-minute interview with Pam Slim we discussed why, more than ever, 20somethings need to develop a body of work; how to define your roots; how to create your council of Jedi advisors; and how to communicate your dreams to your parents, who might not be immediately accepting of your major or career path.

[soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/148732635" params="color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_artwork=true" width="100%" height="166" iframe="true" /]

Giveaway Time!

We are thrilled to give away two signed-copies of Pam Slim’s Body of Work: Finding the Thread That Ties Your Story Together to two lucky Life After College readers.

For a chance to win, answer the following question and leave your email in the comments by Friday, June 6th. We will pick two winners with Random.org and email to let you know!

Comment to be Entered to Win:

What are your top 3 key ingredients that you want to have present in your job or career?

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About Davis

Davis (@IamDavisNguyen) graduated from Yale University in 2015. He currently lives in San Francisco and works at Bain & Company. When he’s not helping CEOs transform their companies, he is helping recent graduates figure out the type of life they want for themselves and helping them get there.

What If I Waste My Potential?

Written by Rebecca Fraser-Thill

At college graduation festivities, one question bounces around repeatedly:

What if I waste my potential?

It's not spoken. Not even in a slightly reworded form. But it's there, in every graduate's insistence "...and in a couple of years I'll go to grad school," in every tight smile that doesn't involve the eyes, in every murmur along the lines of "it'll all work out."

I saw it time and again this past weekend as I attended my eleventh graduation at the selective college where I teach, and I suspect I'll see it for years to come.

I recognize the expression because I spent most of my twenties fearing I’d waste my potential. Intensely fearing it.

Thinking about it every time a room went quiet. Avoiding “successful” friends because they reminded me of it. Experiencing cardiovascular conditioning over it, without moving a single muscle.

Yet I never spoke this fear to anyone.

I’d picture myself old and gray, sitting on a porch talking to some faceless person, saying

“I could’ve been anything. I could’ve done so much with my life. Instead it all slipped by me.”

I came to hate the word “potential” itself, resenting it and all that it symbolized. “Potential” was the concentrated pill containing crushed-up remnants of my hoped-for adult life.

“Potential” also felt so darn patronizing. Like, “oh, there’s Georgia. She has so much potential," which 9 times out of 10 is said in that tone that implies “and she’s not doing a thing about it.”

I actually had a guidance counselor come up to me in high school and say, “I saw the colleges you applied to. Sure undershot your potential, didn’t you?”

Did I? Well maybe in his book I did, but not in mine. I applied to schools that were a genuine “whole person” fit for me.

Which is how, for the most part, I lived my 20s – making choices that resonated with something deep within me and that squared with a subtle awareness of my identity and deeply-held desires.

The rub was, I felt guilty about every single decision. Like I was “letting everyone down” by being true to me.

Like I was wasting my potential.

Smart people get PhDs, don’t they? Star college students get high-paying jobs, don’t they? Good daughters stay close to home, don’t they?

At my core, I knew the answer to all of those questions is not necessarily and that the answer for me personally was hell no.

Yet I felt pushed to live up to those stereotypical goals. Lest I waste my potential.

“Potential” felt like an imposition of another person’s storyline on top of my unfolding story. (Cue Sara Bareilles’ King of Anything).

I’m writing all of this not to complain but rather to say what I would have loved to tell the graduates this past weekend:  you do not have to live in fear of wasting your potential.

The only person who is going to be sitting in your rocking chair at 90 years old is you. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not your teacher or brother or best friend’s aunt. YOU.

What will feel like wasting your potential then isn’t having failed to live up to their standards for you. It’s having lived someone else’s story.

So the real challenge before you? It's not mastering office politics nor jumping pointless grad school hurdles nor even keeping a job for more than three months.

It's simply figuring out what you want your story to be.

Which is great news because, deep down, that's something you already know.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below: Do you think about possibly wasting your potential? If so, how do you combat those thoughts when they pop up?

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About Rebecca

Rebecca Fraser-Thill is the founder of Working Self, a site that helps young adults create meaningful work - that actually pays the bills! She teaches psychology at Bates College and is a career coach. Follow her @WorkingSelf.