From the Bali Files — On Writing: Blogging will Beat the Perfectionist Out of You

As promised, I'm going to share a few freewrites from my goal to write for 15 minutes each day while in Bali and Thailand. This is from one of my earliest sessions, and I remember making myself crazy just trying to push through the resistance to get started. To jog my thoughts, I started by making a list of everything I could observe from my table at the restaurant — a good trick if you're ever feeling stuck. Even though it feels a little journal-y and unfinished, I am taking my own advice today by sharing this with all of you. :)

Sitting at Pundi Pundi for dinner: Nasi Goreng, Carrot/Orange/Beet Juice

Thick, hazy, moist grey skies Fragrant balmy air Rolling claps of thunder behind the clouds Men milling in the rice paddies, one with a rake one with a machete Quiet back at home, quiet here Ivy weaves up a lamppost A candle flickers on the table A single pink lotus flower peeks up from the lily pads, three feet tall — the only pink and white for miles of green. A beautiful, breathtaking individual in a sea of sameness. Peach tea in the pouring rain

There's so much to do, and yet even more I want to write . . . could write. My tasks weigh on me and ask for me first. But my writing — my creative writing — tugs at my shirt (or in today's case, long blue polka-dot dress) and asks me to give it attention. Order a coffee! Find a cafe! Open your laptop! Do the work! Everyone is asleep! 

And so, as my American friends and family sleep, I sit at a table overlooking an enormous rice field. Palm trees, thatched-roof houses, ponds, men in triangular hats wading through the water pulling and milling and doing whatever it is they are doing in rows. Up and down, up and down. A white bird glides across. In front of me I can see at least 10 different species of native flora. A half-built bamboo structure, two stories high, sits sandwiched in-between a lighthouse looking structure and a white abode.

Writing for 15 minutes — even just 15 minutes — feels like an eternity. Right now I am seven minutes in.

A candle flickers on the table and I've ordered a cappuccino. Perhaps not the enlightened choice drink of a yogi — I'm sure I should be sipping on some exotic tea (the peach was particularly delightful) but I need to shake out of this afternoon lethargy. Scratch that — I don't need to do anything — but I want to. I want to write and find my voice. Keep finding my voice — the one that writes unencumbered by audience or approval or anyone else's judgment but my own.

Blogging will beat the perfectionist right out of you.

Blogs are transitory in nature — each post is fleeting and washed away by others that follow, unlike a book. A book sits bound and refined on a shelf for years, for better or for worse; worse being that it does not and cannot evolve with the author as it only captures a moment in time.

Blog posts capture mere moments, and if you procrastinate with perfectionism, you will miss them.

So you must publish the few typos, the shaky video, the half-formed ideas. Because these half-formed ideas weave a quilt over time that expresses your evolution.

What the blog asks — demands — of you, is to publish. Over and over again. It is relentless. It is the child that you conceived on a whim that is now a lifelong commitment. It is the source and the outlet for creativity, connection and community.

Publish.

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En*theos Virtual Conference: WTF should I do with my life?!

I'm excited to be one of the featured guests for the upcoming En*theos WTF Should I Do w/ My Life?! virtual conference, hosted by Jacob Sokol. Jacob is a long-time friend from the blogosphere, and it's an honor to be among the list of inspiring guest interviewees. Here's more information for those of you who are interested!

About the event: WTF Should I Do w/ My Life?! is a worldwide FREE streaming virtual conference that answers the questions: What does it actually take for us to be happy and successful? How do we bridge the gap between our future ambitions and current reality? And how do we successfully create a life of excitement and integrity, while living with a deep sense of purpose?

This virtual conference gathers 30+ of the world's leading thinkers including, Tal Ben-Shahar, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Chip Conley and Tony Schwartz, to ask them real-world, no-BS questions that give us actionable solutions so we can rock the *really* important areas of our life.

Dates: April 22 -- 27, 2013 (schedule forthcoming) Price: FREE Where: Sign up here

7 Strategic Ways to Un-Succeed

Written by Paul Angone Success is overrated. Those people living their dreams, making money, making a difference, creating, inventing, leading, yada-yada-blah-gag-me-with-a-stapler.

No, give me that 8-5 job surrounded by rainy-day-cubicle where I can master Cubicleness – the art of taking forty-five minutes of actual work and spreading it over eight hours.

Give me day after day where I have been on the Internet for so long I have literally run out of things to search for.

I don’t want to make sh*t happen. No, no, no. I want to be that co-worker who gave up caring about their work 15 years prior, but has become that large boulder in the office – unmovable and ready to crush you with one wrong look. That’s the sweet spot that I know I can thrive in.

But how do I get there? How do I make sure I live a life of Un-Success, where I scold “dreamers” who think they’re actually supposed to enjoy their work? Freaks.

 Orignal Photo by Michael LaNasa - Creative Commons

7 Strategic Ways to Un-Succeed

1. Don’t Care Just Enough

Yes you can care about things, people, doing okay work, making a moderate amount of money, but just don’t care too much. No, fully giving yourself to something, pushing through the heart-ache and struggle that comes with caring about something more than staying comfortable and complacent, is a way to live dangerously close to success.

2. Be a Critic and a Cynic

Cynicism is a great tool to make sure you don’t care just enough. If you can find and focus on the faults, cracks, and crap of life, then you’re bound to never really create anything really worth creating because you’ll be able to pick the idea apart before you can even start. Awesome! Bring on the next big idea, so that you can topple it like a 5-year old playing Jenga blindfolded.

3. Call your Dream a Hobby

While I don’t recommend really pursuing dreams at all if you want to live a life of Un-Success, if you just can’t help yourself, then make sure you call your dream “just a hobby”.

Calling your dream a hobby is key because this way you’re telling friends, family, and most importantly yourself, that you’re really not in this for keeps. No, you’re just dabbling like a teenager who’s going to take up guitar for three months before he moves onto Xbox.

A hobby is casually dating without any of the commitment and sacrifice that might come from a long-term-relationship with a dream.

4. Pursue your “Hobby” in Isolation

Yeah, on second thought it’s probably better if you really don’t tell anyone about this “hobby” at all. That way, when it gets to that sticky point where the steps forward become as difficult as walking through wet tar on a summer day, then you don’t have to explain to anyone a dang-thing when you stop walking altogether.

Letting people in on your hobby, especially wiser, successful people who have pursued a similar dream before, makes a life dedicated to Un-Success much more complicated. Because they’ll probably try to prod you to push past the sticky, and gosh, who the heck wants that?

5. Watch Elephant-Sized-Butt-Loads of Reality TV

This tip might seem elementary, but don’t underestimate the profound effect a good 2-3 hours of real, fake, TV can have in reaching your goal of Un-Success. Becoming obsessed with other people’s scripted lives is a great way to not have to live your own.

(Note to Self: Did I remember to tape True Confessions of US Sewer Workers tonight? God I hope so.)

6. Never Fail

If you’re failing, you’re trying way too hard. If you’re committed to Almost-Success than you should have numerous instances of Almost-Failure as well. You can’t have one without the other.

7. Don’t Help Others be Successful

Obviously, if you’re committed to Un-Success it’s kind of against the rules to help others fully succeed. No, when friends have the audacity to chase their dreams, you want to be that voice of reason that points out all the ways they will fail. You don’t want to help them push through obstacles, no you want to throw more in their way.

Because when you help others succeed there’s this strange effect where you’re paid back somehow.  Not because you asked for it, but because when you help others, they want to help you. And that’s a dangerous place to be when you are going for Un-Successful.

A Commitment to Un-Success

Yes, if you follow these seven simple strategies, you can live a life of Un-Success -- on April Fool’s day or any of the other 364 days of the year.

I would love to hear from you in the comments below: Do you relate to any of the unsuccessful tips? What strategies do you have to live a life of un-success? 

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About Paul

Paul Angone is the creator of All Groan Up, a community for emerging adults searching for self, faith, and a freaking job. Snag a free copy of his ebook 21 Secrets for your 20’s and follow him at @PaulAngone.

Not Getting Hired – The Fall Out and Recovery

Written by Melissa Anzman I don’t tend to get attached to companies – especially during the interview process. I use the “apply to anything that is interesting and you meet the requirements at 70%” rule when searching for jobs. And help us all if I kept a record of all of the jobs I’ve applied to over the years – the list could comprise a phone book (remember those?).

But there was one job that I wanted more than anything else. It spoke to me. I was moving across the country and wanted to have a job to go to while I transitioned – you know, to tell me that I was making the right decision (and I suppose, to finance the move as well).

The job couldn’t have been more tailor-made for me if they had asked me what my dream job is. It was fixing the Human Resources department, essentially relaunching it, at a small company... and animals were involved.

Ok, it was at the zoo. It was beyond my dream job.

I applied and I got an immediate call from the hiring manager. She was interested in talking to me, but I was living across the country at the time, so she wasn’t sure. I ended up spending around $900 of my own money (non-reimbursable), flying from coast-to-coast THREE times for various interviews. The hiring manager told me that I was her candidate of choice.

I was STOKED. Giddy. And I didn’t get the job.

To be fair, no one got the job. They weren’t ready to hire, so it was all for nothing.

I was devastated about a job for the first time in my life. I finally understood the feeling of despair, and “I’m not good enough,” and “who would ever want to hire me now” feelings that my clients and friends shared with me when they didn’t land a job. Don’t get me wrong, I had been rejected before, but not so dramatically – not when I really cared.

I had to pick myself up off the ground and start over. Try to find another position that would never hold a candle to the one I really wanted. Here’s how I did it.

Picking Yourself Up After Rejection

I often say that landing a job is akin to dating – but I never imagined it would include the heartbreak that comes with rejection. Luckily for my job search, I have experience in that – so, I picked myself up and moved forward.

Get back on the horse

I was lazy for a few days, but then realized that laziness wasn’t going to get me paid any time soon. So I started my job search again. Not in earnest, but I forced myself to peruse the job boards for at least one hour each day. I didn’t apply to anything for the first week, but just got a pulse on what was out there.

I’d recommend setting up a keyword search on your aggregated job board of choice and use the auto-emails as your indication that search time needs to be begin. You’ll find yourself comparing every job to the one that just passed you by, picking apart every opportunity, but I promise – every now and then, there will be an interesting nugget amongst the group.

Fake it til you make it

Who knew you could apply that phrase to just about anything. So I started applying – honestly, not only to jobs that fit my “dream job” status, but to any ole job. In order to get a call back, you have to put your hat in the ring, so I applied to things – big and small, ideal and not; just to start getting back into the habit of being an Applicant.

Boost your self-esteem

This is probably not the best HR advice you will ever get from me, but sometimes we just need an ego-boost. And nothing boosts your ego quicker than someone being interested in you for a job! So while I was faking it, I applied to positions that I knew were a shoe-in for me. You know, those lateral moves that you would not really consider if you had “a choice,” but you know that they will be jumping up and down when they see your experience?

Yeah, I applied to those positions so I’d at least get some phone interviews set-up. Talk about major boost in my attitude — “Someone likes me! They want me!” Any interview is good practice — remember that an interview doesn’t mean you have to take the job, so for crying out loud — accept those darn practice opportunities!

Distract yourself

My approach to things outside of my job search was even more meaningful. I needed to find something to take my mind off the opportunity that was lost. So I went to one of my favorites places in the world, and asked if they were hiring part-time. They were, and I found something to look forward to while making a little side cash.

I also started dabbling in other hobbies to help me space out my job search and also remind myself that there are other awesome things I could do to fill my time. Distracting myself from the job that wasn’t, was the quickest cure for moving forward – and soon, it was a distant memory.

And Then…

To be fully transparent, the job I ended up taking was nowhere in the realm of “dream job” status – but I was excited about it because it fulfilled a lot of other interesting facets for me. Oh, and the job at the zoo… they reopened the position and had the nerve to ask me to start the interview process again. For what it's worth, I declined. :)

I’d love to hear from you below in the comments: How have you rebounded from an offer missed?

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Passion is Not Enough: What are Your Marketable Skills?

Written by Jenny Blake Can I start my own company one day? How do I get promoted at work? How do I find a job in this competitive market? Was quitting your job worth it? How can I earn money doing something I love?

As I prepare for my Calgary keynote, I've been mulling over the most common career questions I receive through Life After College, and have been digging deep to determine what ONE piece of advice I would give to today's graduates. Update: here's a fun 6-minute take on these topics from my segment on the CBC Calgary Explorer radio show. 

When I really break it down, all the questions above can be answered with the following: you need to have a marketable skill. Ideally several, but do not pass go without at least one.

A marketable skill is not a bachelor's degree or an MBA.

I'm not here to debate the virtues of higher education—but I will say that a degree is not enough, and if you think about it, it never really has been.

A 2010 Intuit study predicts that 40% of the population will be freelancers by 2020. Whether you see your future-self in this contingent or not, it behooves you to have as many career options as possible moving forward. And even if you have a job now, consider what you would do if you were let go: what skills or expertise could you fall back on?

I shudder when people call Generation Y entitled. This happened a number of times during the radio tour I did for the Life After College book release; radio hosts would paint a picture of our generation as whiny or self-righteous, and I politely defended us (with quietly gritted teeth) by saying we are increasingly entrepreneurial, and that many people today—not just Generation Y—are searching for more meaning in their work.

Giant caveat: "entitled" does fit the bill if you are someone who has an unfounded expectation for a high salary, promotion, or dream job without bringing anything of equal value to the table.

You don't get full-time meaning or passion for free.

We've all heard (and tired of) the proclamation to Pursue Your Passion! Sure, but does your passion provide others with value they are willing to pay for? Not necessarily. This is where we need to find the intersection of your passions, interests, innate talents, and marketable skills. The last being arguably most important for actually getting paid.

So what is a marketable skill? A service you provide at the intersection of talent, skill, and education  that a customer or company will pay you for.

Even better are two marketable skills that might even seem unrelated, but that compliment each other in a very unique way.

For example, fluency in a foreign language mixed with an accounting background—which actually makes you a prime candidate for the FBI. Today's graduates have the benefit of growing up with computers and digital devices—the social media marketer/brander/coordinator field didn't even exist five years ago! Combine that with a love of numbers and you've got yourself an analyst or PR role. Or maybe your people skills make you a perfect candidate for recruiting at a tech start-up.

Start developing your skills toolbox now . . . even if you don't know where they will lead.

When I started working at Google in 2006, I was delivering AdWords Product training to new hires in our customer service department. I knew that I enjoyed teaching, interacting with people, and being in front of the classroom (surely good practice for my dream to one day be a professional speaker), but I wasn't necessarily passionate about the AdWords product itself.

So I started attending The Coaches Training Institute program on nights and weekends in a move of somewhat blind faith. I didn't know where the training would take me, but I knew that it would bolster my background and expertise whether at a company or on my own.

In a process that took me about two years from start to finish, I developed a marketable skill in coaching. When I wanted a change at work and a position on the Career Development team opened up—a team that didn't exist when I started the CTI program—I was uniquely positioned to interview for and land the job, even though I was younger than they might have expected for that role. When I left the company a year and a half later in 2011, my coaching practice is what carried me forward—it served as (and still does) the bread and butter of my business.

Can I be successful by doing XYZ? That depends . . .

People often ask me if they can make money through blogging, or even getting a book deal. With many-a-caveat for miracles that do happen, the answer is no—not directly.

The blog and book are great marketing, a wonderful platform, and enriching in innumerable ways, but they are not the marketable skill that provides consistent income and brings money in the door. In my experience, and with rare exception, that has to come from my own unique blend of brain power and expertise—coach training, tech savvy, corporate and start-up experience, a training and career development background, speaking experience, etc.

Now—I'm not saying you have to pay thousands of dollars for a specialist program or graduate degree—some of you may have an innate marketable talent, like web design where you are naturally gifted and have been able to teach yourself. If that's you, awesome! It means you are one step ahead and already have a skill you can sell.

How to stand-out and empower yourself for career success

If you are a college graduate and you want to separate yourself from the pack of entry level employees: what are your marketable skills? These typically develop outside of the classroom and require you to be proactive about identifying your strengths and interests, reading books, talking to others in the field, and most importantly—getting hands-on experience.

Whether you want to work for yourself someday, transfer to a new role within a company, or land your dream job, the best way to empower yourself with the luxury of career choice is to continuously set goals and develop your toolbox of skills, talents, interests and experiences.

Even if they seem completely unrelated today, keep going; you will be amazed one day at how the unique intersection of all four put you in the perfect position for a big career move when the timing is right.

Not sure where to start? Additional resources:

• Passions Mind Map: Start with a big brainstorm of everything that interests you, then look for common themes.
• You might also be interested in The Acorn Project, a two-week jumpstart course to help you explore your interests and collect a variety of ideas about how to move forward.
• Get specific about your career with the recently-updated Professional Development Strategy template: this will help you brainstorm across a variety of areas to see what the gaps are between your current skills, interests, and goals.
• The Strengthsfinder 2.0 Book and Assessment: to give you language to talk about your strengths and identify what your natural talents are.
• The free Type Coach assessment (via Melani Ward) that provides a downloadable report on your Myers Briggs type, strengths and best work environment.
• SkillShare: thousands of low-cost online classes on every subject imaginable.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments: Are there any other vital factors that you believe lead to career success? Do you have any other great resources to share for developing your skills on or off the job?

SE Asia Travel Breakdown: Tidbits from Two Months in Bali and Thailand

It is no surprise that I am tongue-tied once again trying to recap my latest big adventure. I have returned from Thailand (I will admit, semi-reluctantly!) and it is a big challenge to capture such a deep, inward journey in anything resembling words fit for public consumption—so I thought I'd have fun with some random stats, bits and bon mots from the trip below. After spending time with family in California, next I am heading up to Calgary to deliver a keynote speech for the University of Calgary's Graduating this Year program. I'll even be making an appearance on a morning show, the CBC Calgary Explorer, at 7:30 a.m. on Tuesday in case any of you are in the area and have a chance to tune in!

The Stats

Basics

Total days living abroad: 64 January "rent" in Ubud, Bali (I stayed in a hotel): $850, breakfast included February rent in Chiang Mai, Thailand: $500 for a studio overlooking Doi Suthep mountain (visible until the annual pollution from burning rice fields and landfill rolled in)

Mind & Body Workouts

Number of yoga classes: 32 Number of CrossFit workouts: 3 (in Chiang Mai) Consecutive days of 20-minute meditation: 10 Total words written (to meet goal of 10-15 minutes of writing each day): 43,633 for an average of 600 words/day Approximate total words that might actually see the light of day: 6,000. Most of it feels too journal-y, though I had a great time with it once I got going, and the daily practice completely re-activated my creative juices. Side note: It's looking like a mid-April launch for my new website—I will share excerpts of the writing here soon and perhaps on the new blog! Sign-up for my bi-weekly behind-the-business updates to get the full scoop. 

Education and Entertainment

Consecutive days without watching a movie or TV show: 36 Show that broke the streak: Modern Family because I needed a laugh; followed by The Bachelor, then a Walking Dead mega-marathon that sparked WAY too many zombie dreams. Number of books read, re-read and started): 19 What I read (see all my reviews on GoodReads):

Buddhism/Meditation/Mindset: Radical Acceptance, When Things Fall Apart, Living with Joy, Personal Power through Awareness Memoir: Stranger in Here, Expecting Adam, Wild Non-Fiction: 100 Things Every Presenter Needs to Know About People, The Four-Hour Chef, Waking the Tiger, The Luxury of Less, The Hormone Cure, The Primal Blueprint (author of Mark's Daily Apple), and my dad's The Bliss Engine -- coming soon! Fun: Yoga Bitch, F*ck I'm in my Twenties (check out her Tumblr here), Enlightenment for Idiots, Swimming Naked

Food & Drink

Best meal: Cuban dinner in Bali in which I was sitting alone at a table, and my soon-to-be-friend Sage was sitting across the restaurant entrance. After shouting at each other for about 15 minutes in which we learned both of us were traveling alone, both from San Francisco, and both writers (among other random commonalities), we decided to combine tables and became fast friends, meeting up every couple days and keeping in touch since!

Second runner up: a long afternoon at Sari Organik with Shannon (formerly of Revolution Apparel, now her own new site)—a beautiful organic farm-to-table restaurant a mile up from the main road, located along a winding path in the middle of a huge expanse of rice fields, farmland and palm trees. Thank you Adrian for the recommendation!

Cheapest meal (yet still one of the best): Organic Vegetable—where a big bowl of rice, pumpkin, eggplant, veggies and a fried egg costs a little over $1 (credit to Adam for showing me this spot!) Number of cappuccinos: way too many to count, many of them over Starbucks meet-ups with Elisa in Chiang Mai—a daily highlight Number of coconuts: way too few! Maybe 5? If I could do it over, it would be 25. Consecutive days without alcohol: 74 and counting. No specific reason for doing this, other than a health and wellness experiment. Result: I feel significantly clearer, in a much better and more consistent mood overall, more able to handle setbacks, and much more energetic in body and mind. Will keep the streak going for the foreseeable future!

The Memories

Most embarrassing moment: When a gecko fell (lept?) from the ceiling into my drink, resulting in me jumping up onto a chair, pointing at it while screeching, while the Balinese waitstaff laughed and then rescued the flailing critter from my carrot juice.

Most memorable moment: Taking a day trip with Adam and friends to the Sticky Waterfalls, a wall of limestone rocks that you can climb up like Spiderman. The clouds were dark grey and ready to burst, and there we were like giddy little kids making our way up this magical mountain of stones and trees and rushing water. Once we climbed to the top we sat in blissful silence as it started pouring rain, with the waterfall of the rocks crashing and rushing around our legs, hair soaking wet, all staring out at the mountains and tropical rainforest as we marveled at the power, beauty and gorgeous expanse of nature surrounding us. Many minutes of pure presence, and a memory of a lifetime.  

Proudest accomplishments

• Writing every day even though it felt awkward most of the time. Remembering what it felt like to write only for myself, not an audience.
• I am also proud of starting to build a meditation habit—something I have tried (and failed miserably at) for many years. The training wheels for my 10-day streak were provided by Insight Timer (h/t Ben), which showed me how many days in a row I had done, motivating me not to miss. It also sounds beautiful Tibetan bells to start and end, and prompts you to journal a few thoughts afterward.
• Finally, I am proud of going to these countries alone. Making and spending time with friends for sure, but booking the flight and living alone, knowing that some days would be lonely, but that I would make it through the dips and have the space to explore on my own.

What's Next

Sharing excerpts of my writing with all of you: eek! nervewracking, but in a good way. Next up for living and working abroad: Buenos Aires to brush up on my Spanish?! We shall see! How I excited I am to return to New York: Extremely! I dearly miss my friends, my yoga, my routines, and my city more than words can describe!

Biggest Lessons learned:

• When going through a big transition (internal or external), quiet time is essential. Less distraction is a gift. The whole reason for this trip was to be a little bit selfish—to remove myself from the daily pull of life and be a hermit for a few months . . . and experiment with running my business from another country. These experiments worked so well that I didn't want to leave! I realized what a gift it is to carve out alone-time for ourselves, even if you're just fighting for 15 minutes a day at first.
• I thrive on routine. Every day involved some combination of items from my "essential self" bliss list: reading, writing, meditation, yoga, walking, delicious food, a meal or coffee with a friend, work, coaching or heading out for a mini-adventure. I realized that these things don't just happen because you think they sound nice. You really have to make the time, build systems to support these habits, and sometimes be disciplined about pursuing them even when you feel lazy or like you don't have time.
• Business actually improved. I started more new coaching clients in January than in any other month of the last year, and the calls worked well over Skype (save for a few unpredictable power outages). I also re-energized my creativity and writing, which is the foundation of so much of what I do.
• Productivity improved. I loved being able to wake-up, take a few calls and clear out the ~60 or so emails that came in overnight, then head out for the day with total peace and quiet knowing that my American counterparts were sleeping. It was a near-miraculous feeling to go to a long lunch and yoga class, and come back to no new emails when I sat down to work again! This took the pressure off of reactive responses, and allowed me to play and experiment more with writing and other projects. For the first time, I could really sense how batching emails and only answering in two chunks each day works wonders. For the most part everything can wait until the next designated email window.
• Coming back is a bit of a shock, but that is the ebb and flow of life—periods of introspection followed by periods of re-connection. I was in a sleep coma state for about three days upon returning home, getting fully over the jet lag after about seven. I very quickly started feeling the pull of my old tendency to over-commit, and had to keep reminding myself to take it slow. And I almost had a heart attack when I saw the bill from a "normal" meal for two at $50, knowing that would have fed me for a week back in SE Asia!

Most of all, I feel incredibly fortunate to have the life and work that I do. Every day I gave thanks to be living from these beautiful countries, cooking up ways I could be helpful to all of you as I move forward with my business. I am grateful for you, for my family, my friends, and my health.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives in ways big and small. I am grateful beyond words.

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Top 50 Blogs for Young Careerists

P.S. Big thanks to YouTern, who listed Life After College as one of the Top 50 Blogs for Young Careerists, saying "Simply one of the best blogs out there for young careerists; you’ll love Jenny’s honest, sincere approach to delivering meaningful content." Congrats to our very own Melissa who made the list too; it's an honor, and we're happy to be among 48 other fantastic sites for young professionals!

Is Your Dream Worth It?

Written by Paul Angone My dream for the last seven years has been to encourage, humor, challenge, and inspire twenty-somethings struggling with “what now?”

And every time I chase this dream, a memory haunts me, asking me if it’s worth it.

It was a Sunday and I was behind in my writing.  The few weeks prior had been slow going, like dredging through chest-high mud while holding my laptop above me, still trying to pound the keys. Deadlines were fast on my heels waiting to devour me come Monday if I didn’t pick up the pace.

I try my best to write in the early or after hours that no one else wants so that I can spend time with my wife and two girls, but with deadlines laughing in my face like the Joker holding a detonator, I didn’t see any other way around me taking a prime-time slot.

As I gathered books and papers, shoving them in my laptop bag, my two year old just stood and watched me. Then she looked at me and said something that instantly became my Dream-Fire – something that propels me to work harder, while also having the power to devour the whole thing. Just two words out of her mouth changed my dream forever.

Bye Daddy

Just two words. “Bye Daddy ”coupled with the look she gave me that seemed to ask, “Is what you’re leaving for more important than me.”

Dagger. Straight. In. The. Heart.

As I sat down to write that day, a question plagued me like ants crawling on a chocolate bar, “Is my dream really worth it?”

Was my dream worth that look on my daughters face? Was my dream worth all the hours I’ve spent away?

Was it worth writing at lunch while my friends sit and laugh together, or was it worth all the hours of sleep that have gone unclaimed?

Was my dream worth the measly amount of money we were making on it (that being $0) as I slowly built a website and an audience?

Cost of a Dream

You see there’s always the ugly side of chasing a dream. Because a dream will cost you. Relationships, status, sanity, safety — name the cost and it’s been paid before.

Status quo can’t coexist with a dream. Like putting a lion in your living room and asking it to play nice.  The old way of doing things, one way or another, goes up in smoke to the fire of a dream.

But how do we ever know if our dreams are truly worth it? Sitting in the coffee shop that day here’s three questions I felt I needed to answer.

1. Does this dream fit with, and add to, who I am?

Does my dream align with my top values of authenticity, integrity, right relationships, etc? I’ve learned when I’m working outside these values, anxiety will tackle me like a security guard laying out a shoplifter. Does my dream mesh with these values and make them brighter, or does it take away? At that moment I felt like it was negatively impacting my relationships, so I knew that’s why I was experiencing turmoil.

Does my dream fit within my strengths or am I trying to pursue someone else’s dream?

2. Is my dream just for me?

Was I pursuing this crazy dream for fame, fortune, or that spotlight in my alumni magazine that tells all my classmates that I am in fact doing much better than them? Well, maybe in the beginning it was built on illusions of bestsellers and “yep, look at me”. But after years of un-success, where writing had felt more like dragging that heavy plow through rocky, crusted ground than actually enjoying any of the fruit, this dream to speak to twenty-somethings moved way beyond ME a long time ago.

I think author Fredrick Buechner summed it up best that our dreams need to exist:

“Where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need.”

3. Does my dream steal from my Non-Negotiables? If so, how much is too much?

When I looked at my dream under the bright light of “is this really worth it?” my answer was still yes. I believe so strongly in offering hope and encouragement to twenty-somethings that it’s been something I cannot NOT do.

And yet, I still heard that voice saying, “Bye Daddy.”

So even though my dream is worth it, I vowed on that day never to let my dream become worth more than what is worth the most. My family. My faith. My friends. These are my non-negotiables.

That means I need to chase my dream at 4:30 am before I leave for my 8-5. It means working harder, being more productive in less time, and limiting my “how the heck did I end up on Facebook” moments.

It means having no favorite TV shows that I have to drop everything to watch.

Not letting my dream be worth more than what is worth the most means I have to personally sacrifice much, so that my family sacrifices as little as possible.

Yes my dream is worth it. But even so, I have to run my dream, or experience the ugly aftermath if I let my dream run me.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

What's your dream?  What tips do you have for chasing your dream without sacrificing your non-negotiables?

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About Paul

Paul Angone is the creator of All Groan Up, a community for emerging adults searching for self, faith, and a freaking job. Snag a free copy of his ebook 21 Secrets for your 20’s and follow him at @PaulAngone.

Tired? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Dr. Sara Gottfried on 9 ways to flip the switch

Today is an exciting day -- I am thrilled to introduce you to a fabulous woman, Dr. Sara Gottfried, who I have had the honor of working closely with these last few months on the launch of her sure-to-be-bestselling book, The Hormone Cure. I have had the privilege of working with Sara as part of her all-star book launch team, and have been blown away and inspired by her drive, her message, her innovative ideas, and her incredible wealth of medical experience.

What I love most about Sara is her non-traditional approach to modern medicine. She advocates for tuning in to our bodies' own natural intelligence to solve the root of our health problems (including lack of energy, stress, low sex drive) -- rather than running straight to pills and prescriptions to address the surface-level symptoms.

Given my focus this year on alignment between body, mind and thought, I asked Sara if she would be willing to share her expertise with us in a "body intelligence 101" primer. These tips will help you naturally heal yourself, and learn to listen to your own body's own directives on how to fix itself when off-balance. As Sara shares later in the post:

"These techniques will help you navigate the brave new world of 'personalized medicine" -- where you know your DNA, and you apply the promise of epigenetics (managing your genes on a personal level) to improve 50-80% of gene expression with how you eat, move, think and supplement." —Dr. Sara Gottfried

Enter Dr. Sara

When I was little, my great-grandmother Mud came to visit our family. My sister and I were hoping she would bring presents, cookies, maybe a Barbie or two. Like our friends’ grandparents.

But our great-grandmother, when she stepped off the plane from California, was pulling a suitcase full of kale, fish oil, wheat berries and Meyer lemons.

“Confused” would be a nice way to describe our reaction.

Mud the Miracle-Grandma

Mud was an anomaly. She was rarely without a glass of warm water and lemon in her hand. She cheated at cards and was smart as a whip. She slept on a board and practiced yoga, decades before it was popular. Mud had perfect teeth. Her posture would blow your mind. She looked 25 years younger than her peers and could lift her foot behind her head, as a great-grandmother.

Ancient Practice, Modern Application

Spending time with Mud (often in a mixture of awe and bewilderment), I started to understand that an entire world of prevention, healing, and repair exists through nutrition and lifestyle. Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine prove that health can be managed through daily habits and natural remedies, from what we put in our mouths to when we close our eyes at night. I learned that a bottle of pills isn’t always the answer. That diet is the foundation of health. That regular exercise and contemplative practice can keep your body humming right up to (and beyond!) 100.

Amplify the Positive: Body, Heal Thyself

As a practicing physician who’s worked with over 20,000 patients, I know our bodies come with built-in systems designed to help us heal, manage, and basically enjoy the heck out of every day we get on this earth. Ancient traditions illustrate it and modern science is starting to prove it: The better we treat our bodies, the more we’ll get out of them. I say we adopt some of those kale-eating, board-sleeping habits that Mud taught me, so that we too can put our feet behind our heads and freak out our great-grandchildren.

9 Ways to Attune to Your Body's Own Intelligence

1. Attend to Your Gut

Health, like beauty, truly is on the inside: the millions of bacteria that make up the microbial garden of your gut are your body’s first line of defense against infections and illness. Known as the microbiome of the gut, science is exploding with studies proving our bodies are designed – like some crazy robot of the future – to heal themselves. When they’re out of balance, bad bacteria start to cause problems, whether that means illness or hormonal imbalance.

Most 20-somethings I know have a frat party in their gut from too much sugar, alcohol, late nights, and unmanaged stress. Guess what? That’s where most of your most important happy brain chemicals are made, such as serotonin (Dr. Sara-tonin?), which is the boss of your mood, sleep, and appetite.

The answer: A healthy diet creates healthy bacteria, which turns you into an infection-fighting, cold-thwarting machine.

2. You Snooze, You Win... Create Circadian Congruence

Humans are designed to rise with the sun and to sleep when it’s dark out. This is a “duh” statement, but lots of us are guilty of too-late nights and whole days spent inside. Sure, there are morning people and night owls, but your hormones are released according to your sleep/wake cycle.

The answer: Get your Circadian rhythm in order, and your body will produce the hormones you need when you need them.Try to wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, and to expose yourself to sunlight. There’s no better way to tell your body it’s time to wake up. And to get a tan.

3. My Fork, My Self

If you need a hunk of chocolate cake and fried chicken to get through your day, that's a sign your hormones are off - and this is not good for your DNA. Cravings for salt and sugar can be cries for help from your thyroid, your cortisol levels, or your even sleep cycle.

The answer: Stick to whole foods, high fiber, and lots of water. Take a hormone quiz (you’ll see how at the end of this post) to see which aspects of your diet might be lacking.

4. Restore, Rejuvenate, Refresh

Accelerated aging, wrinkles, moodiness, low energy...these are all signs that your body hasn’t had a chance to repair itself. Cell repair is an important process that happens every night, but late bedtimes and not enough sleep can curtail its effectiveness.

The answer: 10pm? Lights out. I don’t want to sound like your mother but...go to sleep by 10pm as many nights as possible (ideally 5 of 7 each week). Getting in bed by this time is the magic hour to facilitate repair benefit to your body, cells, and muscles. The ratio of catabolism (wear and tear) to anabolism (growth and repair) shifts while you sleep, and the hours before midnight are especially auspicious. In other words, this is how you can avoid Botox. Do it.

5. Symptoms = Message from Your Body (Not a Cry for Pills)

Think about a health problem as a message from your body. Hard-to-lose belly fat? Your cortisol could be high. Low sex drive? Testosterone and estrogen levels may be off. Memory loss? Estrogen and cortisol could be factors in this equation. Moodiness is not a Lexapro deficiency - it's a sign that your sky-high and unmanaged stress might have hijacked your neurohormonal dashboard and burned through your happy brain chemicals.

The answer: Decode your body’s messages! Get to the root cause. Up the Omega 3s in your diet, try GPS for the Soul (https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/gps-for-the-soul/id586099254?mt=8) and take some B6. These are just a few of the gentle, prescription-free ways you can care for you body, and pretty much everyone will benefit from them. Always try lifestyle tweaks such as diet or exercise solutions before you reach for the pill bottle.

6. I Stress, Eustress...

Don't confuse hyperdrive, late-night bursts of energy and other stress-junkie symptoms for productivity. Yes, elevated cortisol is bad for you, but so is low cortisol. Ideally, you get a burst of cortisol in the morning that wakes you up and gets you going. Over the course of the day, your cortisol levels should slowly decline so that when bedtime rolls around (10pm, right?), it’s easy to relax and fall asleep. Cortisol needs to be in the “Goldilocks” position: not too high, and not too low. Modern life has convinced many of our brains that everything is a stressful situation, from a presentation at work to making a sandwich when you just can’t find the mustard.

The answer: “Eustress” means good stress, because we all need some cortisol in our lives. It’s what gets us going! The healthy solution is to change your reaction to stressful situations; approach them as a challenge, or try some deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.

7. Be a Good Neighbor

Think of your body as a neighborhood: a busy community of hormones, bacteria, and hard-working organs. Many of these work together – known as “cross talk” – which means that if one aspect of your health is off, chances are it’s affecting something else. HIgh cortisol often results in low thyroid, which means a stressed-out mind and a slowing metabolism. No, thank you.

The answer: Figure out what your body needs, and do it! Returning this interconnected system to balance may have positive effects you didn’t even think of! Healthier skin! More flexible joints! The ability to cope with stressful situations without a glass of wine or three!

8. Nerd Out with Biohacking

Biohacking (made famous by Tim Ferris) is the act taking personal control over your own health – “hacking” your own system. It involves measuring and tracking, with intense focus, different aspects of your life to gain insight...then making small tweaks, and obsessively tracking them again. Everything from the calories you consume, to the amount you sleep, to the exercise you do each week falls under this umbrella.

This is also known as do-it-yourself biology, outside the confines of traditional environments like universities and industry. It's incredibly empowering, and along the way, you'll hopefully discover what an amazing machine the human body is. I believe that this, combined with our knowledge of ancient practices and modern science, is the future of health.

The answer: experiment with tracking key metrics of your health over the next 5, 10 or 30 days. Start with something you'd like to change -- like your mood -- and start keeping detailed records of anything related to it. Sleep, diet, exercise, relationship, medication... You get the picture. Once you've got a handle on that, start making small tweaks that you think will correct the problem. Record your progress, your successes and your failures. Do research. Make charts.

9. Bonus: make sure you are speaking the language of your body

For instance, your adrenals -- those cute little glands in your mid-back that are in charge of cortisol and stress -- respond to what our heart tells our brain. Seriously. If you’re trying to find the eye of the storm, amplify the positive in terms of your emotions: more love, gratitude, forgiveness. This isn’t just some woo woo idea, there’s hard data to support it.

The answer: Simply hitting the “pause” button by closing your eyes, and imagining breathing in and out through your heart with abdominal breathing can reduce that bad-boy hormone, cortisol, by 23%.

Concluding Thoughts: Love Up Your DNA

Science is at a point where the cost of sequencing your DNA currently costs $10K, but is expected to be just $100 by 2015.

There's a revolution coming, and these techniques will help you navigate the brave new world of "personalized medicine" -- where you know your DNA, and you apply the promise of epigenetics (managing your genes on a personal level) to improve 50-80% of gene expression with how you eat, move, think and supplement.

By making lifestyle changes, such as reducing your alcohol consumption, exercising more, and losing weight, you can potentially encourage a gene that tells your body to make more of the “good” hormones instead of the “less good” hormones. Overall, there’s no change in your DNA sequence, but non-genetic triggers can cause your genes to behave, or express themselves, differently.  This is where being proactive establishes your hormone cure.

Ready for Your Hormone Cure?

You can start the path to your own hormone cure by purchasing my book, The Hormone Cure: Reclaim Balance, Sleep, Sex Drive, and Vitality Naturally with The Gottfried Protocol. There you’ll find quizzes, case studies, and advice on a personalized strategy to manage your hormones. As a thank-you for reading, there are some bonus goodies available to you as well! Just check out The Hormone Cure website to see what’s in store for you.

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More about Dr. Sara Gottfried

For the last twenty years, Harvard and MIT-educated physician, speaker and author of The Hormone Cure, Dr. Sara Gottfried is a firm believer in treating the root cause of problems, not just the symptoms. She believes in leafy greens and nutrient-dense foods, together with evidence-based integration of botanicals and bioidentical hormones, rather than just prescribing medication.

"My method is not one-size-fits-all. My mission is to help women feel sexy, vital and balanced from their cells to their soul," claims Dr. Gottfried adding, "I believe that managing and optimizing your health is your divine responsibility and path to personal power." Learn more about Sara here.

Have You Hit a Habit Fork-in-the-Road?

"Sow an act and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny." —Charles Reade

Habits fascinate me. Good habits, bad habits, OCD habits. Habitual ways we cope with stress, the micro-habits that end up defining our lives, and the energizing feeling of a "good" habit starting to gain momentum.

Habits can feel almost involuntary when deeply ingrained, and yet they are something that we do have the direct power to change, IF we can find the willpower and the systems to do it.

This personal challenge to ourselves—to change a bad habit or develop a new one—can be frustrating and deeply rewarding, and often requires an immense amount of focus and follow-through. So why bother?

Because the trenches of habit formation are the bedrock of big goals and massive changes and the overall quality of our lives—habits of thought, habits of daily routine, and the habits that shape our commitment to what matters most.

A Primer on Habits and Willpower

There are countless books and articles on habit formation. Some key foundational principles from a few of my favorite authors:

Kelly McGonical on Willpower

From Kelly McGonical's cornerstone book The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters and How You Can Get More of It:

• Willpower is a mind-body response, not a virtue. It is a biological function that can be improved through mindfulness, exercise, nutrition, and sleep.
• Willpower is not an unlimited resource. Too much self-control can actually be bad for your health.
• Temptation and stress hijack the brain's systems of self-control, but the brain can be trained for greater willpower
• Guilt and shame over your setbacks lead to giving in again, but self-forgiveness and self-compassion boost self-control.
• Giving up control is sometimes the only way to gain self-control.
• Willpower failures are contagious--you can catch the desire to overspend or overeat from your friends­­--but you can also catch self-control from the right role models.

Martha Beck on Mini-Wins

Martha Beck's book, The 4-Day Win revolutionized how I think about goals related fitness and nutrition—particularly the study she cites that just the idea of a diet causes people to gain weight, and her emphasis on building tiny wins, four days at a time.

Beck also introduces the personality dichotomies that often show-up when we set our mind to something: The Dictator, The Wild Child and The Watcher.

Set goals that are too strict (enforced by The Dictator) and you'll soon find yourself hijacked and thwarted at every step by The Wild Child's rebellious ways. Diet? Pfft, not before I eat these ten cookies!!! The more often we can take on the role of Watcher, identifying the mental tug-of-war that often accompanies the early days of a new habit, the better off we will be.

Leo Babauta on Keeping Things Simple

Leo Babauta published a fantastic post, Sticking to a Habit: The Definitive Guide. His key tips:

• One habit at a time
• A tiny habit
• Once a day
• Focus on starting
• Enjoy doing it (and praise yourself)
• Watch your thoughts
• Don't miss two straight days
• Be accountable

If you like the principles in this one, check out a few of his other habit-related posts: The Four Habits that Form Habits and The Seven Habits of Calmness.

The Habit Formation Fork-in-the-Road

All is usually well in the first few days of habit-building, then a habit tends to either take off on a momentum hot-air balloon, or stalls due to lack of excitement and/or lowered willpower reserves. We wonder if it's really worth sticking to anymore, and if so, how. 

Someone posted in our Make Sh*t Happen group about whether it's better to try to force creativity (and accept the feeling that something sub-par may result) or whether we should give ourselves permission to accomplish less (or at least less regularly). Instead of rigid targets, should we just let our creativity flow more freely, unboxed by expectations, goals or parameters?

I've been grappling with a similar question when it comes to writing. Long after I realized "I write when I'm inspired!" was no longer working, I set a goal to write for at least 15 minutes a day this year, inspired by Penelope Trunk's How to Write About Your Life workshop. It was time to stop whining and crack the discipline whip.

The wake-up call from Penelope's course that snapped me out of my excuses came when she said, "Move past being scared. All the great writers are scared, otherwise you are writing shit." Then she added, "You're not special because you have nothing to say or too much to say. WRITE."

On the subject of goals in general, Penelope said: 

"Don’t ask yourself to have more self­-discipline. The act of writing every day is very similar to losing weight. You have to plan your whole day and make sure you get your most important thing done. Structure your day accordingly. Don't let yourself do anything else. We have a very finite amount of self­-discipline. The more we ask of ourselves, the more it falls apart."

Thus, there are two main roads to take when building a habit: 

• Fork 1: don't "force" creativity or habit formation and just let things flow when you feel the energy
• Fork 2: make it a regular practice (like working out) and accept that some days are good, some are crap, but the success is in doing it at all.

Developing a new habit is a highly personal process. Sure, there are many proven methods known to work for the majority, but you will have to experiment with what works best for you.

If forming a new habit were easy, you would likely be doing it already! So accept that it is meant to be a challenge, and figure out how you can support yourself in that challenge (not beat yourself up at every turn).

3 places to look when you find yourself stuck

Here are a few questions to help structure the habit-building process in a way that works for you:

1) Structure vs. Spontaneity: Where do you thrive most?

• Are you someone who generally has too much structure in your life, to the point of overwhelm and a feeling of impossibly high standards to meet? Is the Dictator running the show to the detriment of actual consistency and success?
• Or are you someone ruled by your "Wild Child" who could benefit from a little more discipline, accountability and follow-through?
• Does your creativity thrive in bursts, in regular intervals or a combination of both?

If you know you love structure: how can you streamline the many systems you probably already have set-up?

If you know you love freedom: how can you allow for more spontaneity while still forming the habit(s) you desire?

2) What is your bigger goal?

• Is your goal to develop a regular practice of something (for me: writing, yoga, meditation and exercise are things I want in my life no matter what)?
• Is it to enjoy the time you spend on this habit (or the benefits you receive from it), no matter the outcome?
• Or to create a discrete project (i.e. a book) or to reach a specific goal (i.e. run a marathon)?

If your goal is the regular practice: commit to a little bit each day, or a certain interval per week.

If it is to build or do something specific: you may work better by scheduling big blocks of designated habit time. When I was working full-time, I used to reserve Sundays for working on the Life After College blog and book—this allowed me to give myself a pass during the week, knowing I was often exhausted by the time I got home and a creative vegetable from about 4 p.m. on.

3) What system(s) will help you build on your successes?

• Are you someone who benefits from working with someone else on your goals?
• Are you motivated by checking something off a list or in an app?
• Or are you an "all or nothing" habit-former who finds that, as Gay Hedricks puts it, "We are either 100% committed or not at all."

I am always more successful with habit formation when I can track what I am doing.

Lately I've been loving AskMeEvery.com (h/t Elisa), which will send you an email at the end of every day with a question you create. Reply with your report, and track adherence over time.

For meditation I've been using Insight Timer, set to 20 minutes each day with a journal capture at the end (thanks to Ben Casnocha for the recommendation in his post Meditation, Six Months Later).

For an accountability twist, sign-up for StickK and create a Commitment Contract that charges your credit card each time you don't hit your target, then donates your money to an organization you designate (some choose a charity they despise) after you goal contract ends.

Additional Resources

Although this post is long, I realize we've just barely scratched the surface on habit building—below are some great resources to continue your studies . . . with a giant caveat:  at the end of the day, what really matters is that you start!

If you do just three things after reading this post:

• Set a teeny tiny small daily goal for the next four days
• Set-up a simple tracking (and reward) system, and
• Check-in on day 5: How do you feel? Is it working? Do you want to make any adjustments for the next 4 days?

Additional resources:

• Last year Charles Duhigg released the bestselling book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
• Quantified Self is a website dedicated to self-tracking "to gather, share knowledge and experiences, and discover resources."
• From A Big Creative Yes (h/t Lindsay Gattis): How to Reach Your Next (Tiny) New Frontier and Overcoming the Fear of Setting (and Not Reaching) Goals
• For writers, I absolutely love these two posts by Seth Godin: Talker's Block and Writer's block and the drip (h/t Karol Gajda)
• Cal Newport takes the opposing view in Why "Write every day" is bad advice
• And on the subject of literary adventures (though a total tangent from habit-formation), when all else fails, date a girl who reads.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments:

What tools or tricks help you build new habits?  What do you do when you slip up or notice your willpower dwindling? And just for fun, what will you commit to for the next four days? 

Thinking of Leaving Your Job? When to Wait it Out, When to Leave

Written by Melissa Anzman Working isn't always glamorous. It can be downright miserable at times – isn’t that why the phrase, “work is supposed to be work,” hits home so hard? Leaving your job is big decision and shouldn't be made lightly, regardless of where you are in your career.

One of the most common reasons people look to jump to their next opportunity is because they are ambivalent or downright unhappy with their job. But being unhappy at work is not always a sign that it is immediately time to move on to your next adventure. Here's how to tell when you should stick it out, or when it's time to go.

When to Cool Your Jets and Stay Put

We have an idealized view of how fabulous and glamorous our jobs should be. So when they are anything but exceptional, we complain about how miserable we are and start thinking about jumping ship. Staying put can be one of the best things you can do for your career, if your unhappiness is stemming from these things.

1. You have an interesting job.

If even on your bad days you can find something “cool” about what you do, then your job still has redeemable qualities. Being able to find unique aspects in what you do will help you continue to learn and grow – ensuring you get absolutely everything possible out of the experience.

2. You like the company culture.

Companies are not created equally. I promise—I tried so many cultures out as “research,” just for you. Being able to be yourself at work, be surrounded by like-minded people, or feeling like your values align with the company’s, is not something to balk at. You are not necessarily going to get the same things in a new role— in fact, it will be hard for anything to measure up going forward.

3. You are on-board with the greater mission.

When you feel as though you are a part of something bigger, serving a true purpose to the clients that your company interacts with, it is a special thing. One of my most “miserable” jobs was working within healthcare, but I was continually re-energized by the stories our clients shared—we were literally helping to save their lives. If you are serving what you consider to be the greater good, making an impact, delivering a difference, then working through the temporary unhappiness will take you further than you can imagine.

4. You hate your boss, but like pretty much everything else.

People typically leave their managers, not the company—stop this trend. Your boss will not be in that position forever—and conversely, you don’t have to stay under him forever either (ever hear of internal job postings?). If your boss is your only thorn in your side, figure out a way to deal with him or her until you work your way into a new opportunity.

5. A project, team member or otherwise temporary thing is bugging you.

Even though it feels like it will go on forever, leaving your job because of a temporary situation is not a great idea. If you were content in your job (or met any of the above criteria), before this annoying “thing” came along, stick it out. You’ll come out of the situation a better person and appreciate all of the things you enjoyed about your job, even more. 

When to Say Sayonara

There are a few reasons to leave the misery behind you—and do it NOW. As in, brush off your resume and start getting serious about landing your next job. For the situations below, no amount of reasoning, or pay, or benefits, or “stability, or whatever else you are trying to convince yourself is why you continue to hang on to this job, is worth it.

1. You are in an abusive work environment.

If you are crying at the end of every day, feel as though your boss is verbally attacking you on a constant basis, or you feel bullied. There is never a good reason to stay in an abusive (work) environment, regardless of the reasons behind it - so start looking!

2. If the environment is making you physically sick.

Speaking from personal experience, this happens... and there isn't anything worse than having to return to a place on a daily basis that impacts your health. First, check with the office manager or facilities group if it's something environmental that's making you sick such as allergies from filters not being changed or being moved temporarily when the building is being repainted - these are "fixable." However, if you are suffering from a chronic illness from being at work due to stress, nerves, or anything else, it's time to leave.

3. You are not getting paid consistently.

You work for personal enrichment (right?), but you also do it to pay the bills. I’m not sure I understand the logic in “waiting it out” until the company moves back into a positive cash flow situation, but if you are not getting paid on scheduled pay periods, it’s time to move on (and maybe hire legal counsel).

4. They are telling you to go.

“Thanks for your service, but it’s really time for you to start brushing off your resume because we don’t value you anymore.” Wouldn't it be easier if they were that straightforward? So it may not be that obvious, but look for the signs. If you are being cut out of meetings, taken off projects that you helped develop, not getting the raise or promotion you were expecting/earned (be realistic here), or being put on a performance plan that seems impossible to achieve, consider these clear signs that you should be looking for something else – outside of your current company.

Final Thoughts

Whether it's time for you to go or time for you to stick it out, it's important that you don't check out early. Being present, working as hard as you can, getting as much out of the situation as possible, will help you leave (eventually) on good terms, as well as bolster your working reputation in the meantime. Don't check out too early - keep working through it, until you've come out on the other side.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments: Have you worked through your "miserable" to something better on the other side? Are there other reasons you've stayed on, pushing through your unhappiness? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Talking Trees: Wisdom from Wat Umong

As many of you know, I have been on a two-month life and work experiment to bust through my writer’s block and to see if I can, in fact, run my business from anywhere—not just in theory, but in mosquito-ridden practice.

Life is slower paced in Thailand, often referred to as the "land of smiles," but so far the plan to focus on productivity and personal reflection has been a big success. If anything, I chide myself for working too much and not sight-seeing more. Which is why I was excited to venture out with Elisa and friends this weekend to Wat Umong, a 700 year old buddhist temple in Chiang Mai.

I was completely captivated by the "Talking Trees," words of wisdom posted by monks in Thai and English on trees scattered throughout the grounds. Today I bring you a small sampling with some great reminders for all of us.

A Virtual Tour of the Wise Woods

Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.

Today is better than two tomorrows. Happiness is everywhere there is contentment. Time and tide wait for no man.

All things arise, exist and expire. Nothing is permanent. Things come in and go out. The thing that is liked or disliked just appears, exists for a moment, and expires. Detachment is a way to relax.

Choose being kind over being right, and look beyond behavior.

Love is divine, lust is a devil.

Buddha field of broken sculpture

A place where people can bring broken buddha statues to absolve themselves of the bad luck that could follow from discarding a buddha statue, or housing a broken one.

Finally, perhaps the most important reminder of all:

Cut yourself some slack. Remember, 100 years from now, All new people.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments: If you could tack your own wisdom to a tree, what would you say??

***

P.S. Huge congrats to Paul, whose first Life After College post 7 Habits of Highly Miserable 20-Somethings went insta-viral with 1,600 Facebook likes and counting!

7 Habits of Highly Miserable Twenty-Somethings

Written by Paul Angone

“Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.” —Stephen R. Covey

In my early twenties I could've been nominated for Miserable Twenty-Something of the Year.

Really, I had a stellar campaign going.  I was bitter. Frustrated. Angry at God, man, and myself. My twenties weren't turning out to be the success-fest like I'd planned and somebody, everybody was to blame. But it didn't take long to realize that being miserable all the time, funny enough, is a freaking miserable way to live.

Now at 29 years old, after years of studying, writing, and researching, here's what I believe are the seven habits of highly miserable twenty-somethings, and then how we cure each one.

 7 Habits of Highly Miserable Twenty-Somethings

1. Complain-isicm

It seems that complaining, with a heavy dose of cynicism, has become our national pastime. It only takes three minutes on Facebook, Twitter, talk radio, or the news stations to know that if you’re not complaining about something, you’re a bit of an outsider.

We complain about our crappy jobs, the slow Wi-Fi, our leaders in the office and around the world, and the waiter who brought only one basket of bread—the whole night! Jerk.

Complain-iscm has become signature to our society—as culturally cool as deep v-necks and neon sunglasses. However, I learned that the road to miserable is paved with complainers and cynics.

The Cure? For me it was one question: What if I replaced moments where I had the right to complain and I created something instead?

It’s a simple thought, but I realized that complaining was giving the problem power over me like letting a sumo wrestler sit on me while I was still trying to run a race. The act of creating threw the sumo wrestler off and let me run my race. Complaining is passive and powerless. Creating is proactive and powerful.

2. Obsessive Comparison Disorder

Obsessive Comparison Disorder is the new OCD I’ve coined to describe an epidemic that’s plaguing our generation. It’s our compulsion to constantly compare ourselves with others, producing unwanted thoughts and feelings that drive us into depression, consumption, anxiety, and all-around joyous discontent. It’s a habit from Hades itself.

This new-found OCD encourages us to stay up late on Facebook pouring through all 348 pictures of our frenemies “My Life is Better Than Yours” album. Like having to run outside to light up a cigarette, our comparison-addiction is uncontrollable and killing us.

The Cure? Begin to recognize the signs leading up to an OCD attack. Late at night when you’re tired, do you feel your OCD begin to take over if you jump on Facebook? Do you notice that every time you watch your “favorite” show you feel bummed out about your own life because it’s not sitcom worthy? Just like you might curb the calories and quit binge drinking, maybe it’s time cut the things that consistently lead to Obsessive Comparison Disorder.

3.  Lone Rangers

Too many of us are trying to Lone Ranger our twenties -- forging our own path, biting the bullet, picking ourselves up by the bootstraps whenever we get bucked off, and every other Western cliché we can grab by the horns. (ha. See what I did there?).

Do you know what I hear the most from struggling twenty-somethings? – God, I feel so alone.

Making and keeping friends in our 20’s can feel harder than Chuck Norris’s abs. But that doesn’t mean we should ride off into the sunset without them.

One of the greatest lies we can believe is that we’re all alone on this journey. We’re not. We just need to get better at seeing and reaching out to those riding next to us.

The Cure? Vulnerability. Letting people inside all the doors and walls we put up to protect our stuff. Give them a call. Open up the door. Let people in. Really talk.

4. Krizzaaazy Timeline

Our plans and dreams aren’t the problem. Our timeline is.

I thought the red carpet was going to be rolled out on Day 23 of life after college when really it was penciled in for Day 2,334. You know, for when I was actually ready to walk down it.

Trying to control the timing of your plans coming to fruition is like a seven year old trying to walk a rhinoceros—impossible with a high chance of being trampled.

The Cure? Let go. Give your dreams the time and space to do their thing. Then watch your dreams grow bigger and stronger, as you feed it with creativity, consistency, and time. And when the time is right, I swear that dream will grow bigger, better, and more beautiful than you could’ve ever imagined. Very few people are uber-successful in their twenties, and if they are, what did they sacrifice along the way to make it happen?

5. Waiting for Someone to Show Us How

In the working world, very rarely is someone waiting there to teach you. We’re not paying them any longer. They’re paying us.

For too many years in my I kept waiting for someone to show me how. I didn’t realize they expected me to show myself.

The Cure? When you’re new to an office or career you have an amazing super power—you can see problems and solutions that those who have been there for an extended period are blinded to. Obviously, that also means it might take some finesse and common sense to begin tackling problems that no one thinks exists. But instead of pointing out the problem, begin experimenting with creative ways to find a solution. Don’t wait for them to show you how, go ahead and show them without them even realizing it.

6. Failing at Failure

Too many twenty-somethings are miserable because we’ve confused setbacks for settling. That just because we moved back in with our parents or took that job answering phones, that we're failures. Failing does not make you a failure.

The Cure? Realizing that the only real failure of our twenties would be if we never had any. Failure is simply finding a more profound way to be successful, if we’re willing to learn from it, and then have the courage to possibly fail again. And possibly more profoundly than before.

The biggest risk we can take in our twenties is not taking any at all. We can’t let failure be our death sentence, instead of just one more sentence on the page before we turn it to the next.

 7. Comfortable with Crappy

This is the scariest habit of them all. Yes for many of us crappy jobs, relationships, and setbacks are a twenty-something rite of passage. Too many people become comfortable with crappy. The job you used to hate, becoming the job you love to hate, and then the job you would hate to leave.

The Cure? Do not become content with living crappily ever after. You have a purpose inside you worth pursuing. Don’t let crappy become quicksand. Learn, grow, and then go.

Dispensing of Dirty Habits

Let’s locate these habits lying around our place and then throw them in the trash like the dirty diapers they are (sorry, the metaphor of a new dad). Let's dispense these miserable habits before they smell up our entire decade.

We'd love to hear from you in the comments: How do you cure one of the habits above? Are there other habits twenty-somethings need to dispense?

---

About Paul

Paul Angone is the creator of All Groan Up, a community for emerging adults searching for self, faith, and a freaking job. Snag a free copy of his ebook 21 Secrets for your 20’s and follow him at @PaulAngone.

Failure is required. Expect nothing less.

I'm now in Chiang Mai in the northern part of Thailand for the next month, visiting my friend Elisa and switching things up a bit before I head back to the states in March. I am still yoga'ing, writing, and taking time to myself, but there's an added perk of finishing my SE Asia adventures here: saving money with an even cheaper cost of living—most meals are between $2 and $5 (with endless great restaurants and coffee shops), and I'm staying in a studio apartment with a great view for $500 for the month. Transitioning from Ubud's bliss-blanket paradise to the slightly grittier, more chaotic Chiang Mai (think Sedona to Seattle) threw me for a bit of a loop on my first day here. I woke up feeling disoriented and a bit low, but then I noticed an all-day inversions workshop at the Wild Rose Yoga Studio, where I taught a workshop in May. Given my recent exploration of somatics, I figured spending the day upside down would surely turn my mood right-side up. Success! And not without a few yoga life lessons in tow.

*For non-yogis, inversions are poses where you go upside down: handstands, headstands, forearm balances, and shoulderstands. Inversions are great for your circulation, lungs, thyroid function and even for things like reducing stress, working with fear, and generally having a rollicking good time flipping around like you are five years old again.

On the expectation to go from zero to perfect . . . and stay there

I've been working diligently on freestanding handstands for the last year, inching my way toward balancing on my hands in the middle of the room, but spending 95% of the time falling over and trying again. Those few seconds of successful upside down suspension are bliss—worth every ounce of effort.

One learns to handstand much the same way a baby learns to walk, by *maybe* hitting it for a few seconds, falling and getting back up, each time gathering one more muscle-memory micro-clue about what the heck our bodies need to do differently to work better the next time. This process is deeply engaging, challenging, curious, and fun. Sure, you could end up with a few bruises and scrapes, but you will wear them with pride.

Many physical skills are similar; learning to ride a bike is a wobbly nerve-wracking thing . . . until it isn't anymore, and the fear turns to exhilaration and glee as the wind whips in our face and we peddle foreword in pride from that day foreword.

So why do so many of us enter into a relationship, career, or big project and expect perfection? Moreover, why do we do this with our LIVES? If we do not instantly land on the pinpoint of balance and success and stay there, surely we have failed.

Nonsense! 

Where is the sense of fun and playfulness?

Perfect balance is often a moment in time where life is suspended and slowed down, and it is glorious. And then? It's over, we fall out of it, and we try again. So why not have some fun and find the enjoyment on the way in AND on the way out too? What if we were to approach our lives, work and relationships this way?

In order to grow or learn a new skill—from something as specific as a handstand to as complex as an intimate relationship—we must examine and expand our relationship to:

• Risk
• Fear
• Experimentation
• Falling
• (Losing) Control
• Trust
• Failure
• Observation
• Feedback
• Resourcefulness
• Persistence
• Resilience

Which of the items on that list are already in your comfort zone? Where do you have room for more permission or playfulness?

You cannot learn a freestanding handstand by being timid, by being afraid to fall, or by only baby-kicking halfway up (trust me, I tried this for years before mustering the courage to fall, feel silly, and get back up). It cannot be done.

You have to fall in order to figure out how to get up, how to grip the floor and stay up, how to find the middle, how to engage your core, how to lift through the feet, and how to come out gracefully.

As in handstands, as in life:

Falling is the ONLY way to learn, and there is no "get out of jail" free card.

If you're not falling in some way in an area that is important to you, you probably have room to take more risks.

So, expect to fall, and nothing less of yourself.

Falling isn't failing (and I don't even really believe in the word "failure" in the first place); it is trying and living . . . and that is surely something to be insanely proud of.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments: in what areas of life are you afraid to fall?  What might it look like to take a more permissive, playful approach? 

***

Thailand at a Glance

Check out this awesome video tour of Thailand from my friend Torre. She is wrapping up a motorbike travel adventure with her boyfriend Ivan, with whom she also reluctantly agreed to sail the world for a year shortly after their first meeting.

Torre self-published a book about their story last year (when we first got connected), then it got picked up by Hyperion and sold movie rights! She heads back to Melbourne soon to launch Love with a Chance of Drowning, and I couldn't be more excited for her. I am delighted that we get to meet for lunch on Thursday!

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Does Your Resume Say You Want to Be Friends?

Written by Melissa Anzman Like it or not, recruiters are the gatekeepers to helping you get your foot in the door at any company. But recruiters remain these mystical creatures – often referred to as evil, idiots, and other unkind words that I refuse to repeat.

It’s not an easy job – part sales, part judge and jury, and part developing the pipeline of talent. But more than anything, recruiters are people too. I know, you forgot that for a minute when they rejected your resume. Understanding how we (gasp – did I just identify myself with the “recruiting team?”) see you through your resume, will help you get through the gate.

The Recruiting Goal

We are not here to help you specifically, get a job. The only thing that matters to us, is how you reflect back on us.

Yep, each candidate that we pass through to the next round is a reflection of our own “talent” in finding the best candidate for the role.

And let me tell you – we are insecure about that. Can you imagine having the responsibility of picking through thousands of qualified candidates and deciding who is worthy of a chance and who isn’t? Or worse, missing a gem in the pile of applicants. Would you want to be at the other end of this commentary “Blueberry Company passed on him – can you believe that? What idiots?”

Our only goal is to send people to the next round who boost our own credibility and skill-set within the company. That’s it. If you do not show me how you support this mission with your resume and online application, I won’t even take a chance on you. I don’t have time to – there is a pile of a hundred other people who, at least on paper, want to make me look good to my boss.

Judge and Jury

You have probably suspected it for some time, but we do judge your resume. In fact, it is a constant, ongoing conversation to help us pass the time and sort through candidates. And we are not easy with the criticisms.

I compare myself to you through your resume. Are you someone I would want to claim as my colleague? If you are applying for a position above mine in level, are you good enough for me to look up to? If you trying to be my peer, are you a threat? Would I stand behind you and your resume if my manager questioned my reasoning?

When you make a grammatical error, I cringe. Is it the end of the world? No. But I refuse, yes – refuse, to believe that we are the same caliber of talent if you are careless enough to make that kind of error.

If you have an objective in your resume, especially if it doesn’t match up with the true objective of the position, I think that you are clueless – not up with current trends, haven’t looked for a job in a long time, not willing to change. How would that quality fit into my company’s culture? It doesn’t – so you are passed over.

When reviewing your work history:

• I’m trying to figure out what you’ve done – how your career has progressed. If you present your resume in a format that isn’t chronological, my first thought is… what are you hiding?
• Recapping your previous job descriptions instead of showing me what you delivered and the scale in which you delivered it… you are a mediocre employee.
• If I have never heard of any of the companies you have worked at, and you do not tell me what types of companies they are… I think you made them up.

These are just a few examples. To be honest, the thing I say more than anything else when looking at resumes is… SO WHAT? Why do I care that you did X, Y, or Z? After three "so what’s" – I move on to the next resume.

Resume Revamp Y’all

Your resume is your first opportunity to show recruiters why you would be an awesome employee. And that’s what most people forget. We are looking for people who make us look good – whether that be as a colleague, peer, or boss.

I don’t want to stand behind someone who I wouldn’t hire for my own team.

The way you approach your resume, needs to change. It shouldn’t be just a professional summary of the actions you have gone through during your career. But it needs to SHOUT why I would want you as a colleague. Why I would be happy to claim you on my team. Why I would feel comfortable sticking my neck out for you.

Show me why we would be friends. I hate to admit it, but that’s all that recruiters are looking for. People who they would want to associate with. High performers. Smart, intelligent workers. Accomplishers. Likeable delivers. Easy to stand behind and defend to hiring managers.

Your resume needs to tell me all of those things so I can’t roll my eyes at you and say within three seconds, why you are not qualified for the job.

For most jobs, you can be trained – stop emphasizing why having the same job title for the past 10 years is enough of a reason for me to consider you for my position with that title. Show me why you’d be an impressive employee. What you would actually bring to the table at my company. And most important, how we can be friends. 

---

About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

On Alignment

Cliché as it may be, every January I choose a word to represent my intention for that year. More important even than specific goals, the words helps me check-in and see if I am acting in line with what is most important to me on a regular basis, not just "one and done" the way goals can be sometimes.

In 2011 my word was Freedom, in 2012 it was Radiate (light and love), and this year it is Alignment. Why? Because it has a nice yoga ring and physical body aspect to it, but more so because my desire is to listen deeply to my truth, speak it and act on it (thank you Julie for helping me land on a word to capture this).

In short: alignment of thoughts, feelings and action.

I'm one month in, and let me tell you—it is hard as hell. But I needed to choose it so I wouldn't shrink away from myself, as I have been known to do in many areas of my life in the past (see: people-pleasing, auditioning).

Speaking your truth can be excruciating even if you know it is the best thing to do; it can be important and devastating all at the same time. But at the end of the day, it's all we really have if we are to live a full, authentic life.

Enter Stacy Sims & The True Body Project

To be honest, beyond coming to Bali, I didn't know how I would find the strength or resources to pursue this intention. Which is why I was delighted to stumble across a two-day workshop by Stacy Sims (who is pictured with me above) on somatics -- specifically, how the body handles stress and trauma, which we all carry to varying extents. This workshop was very fortuitous since the focus was on how to more fully integrate our bodies with our minds. Or align, if you will.

I learned so many important things (not to mention the fact that Stacy is awesome and inspiring in her own right), but the part that fascinated me most is this (scoot on in and listen close):

If your body is holding stress or trauma—even just sitting in a certain positions that visually mimic those of tension or fear—your emotions and thoughts will create a story to match.

What does this mean, exactly?

If you furrow your brow, try to think happy thoughts (it doesn't work). If you smile, try to think of something negative (it's very difficult). If you curl your body into a tight ball (or even sit hunched over), try to think of something exciting (tricky tricky) -- notice how you start to feel very tense. Conversely, if you widen across your collar bones, sit up straight, lift through the crown and lengthen your spine, see if you don't feel instantly lighter and calmer.

This is not to say that our emotions are invalid and merely puppets for our body movements—not at all—but it is to call our awareness to the very real, direct correlation and relationship our body has to our mind.

As Stacy reminded us during the workshop, more information actually travels from your belly to your brain than the other way around. Think about that next time someone asks you, "What does your gut say?"

This is where the post gets interactive. YES, INTERACTIVE!!!

Okay, I'm shouting. I just really want you to actually try each of these three things. They take 30 seconds each:

1) Face & Forehead — Lightening

The symptom: Most of us unintentionally sit with furrowed brows as we read or work.

The experiment: Take your thumbs, and starting at your third eye (okay in less woo-woo terms that space just above your eyebrows in the middle of your forehead), and with a nice amount of pressure glide your thumbs in opposite directions across your forehead, stopping at your temples and ending in a nice circle on each temple.

The check-in: do you feel anything lighten by doing this? You can also rub your hands together to create warmth, then place the palms over each of your eyeballs. Can you feel yourself actually lighten up?

2) Stomach — Centering

The symptom: A second (very American) habit is to constantly suck in our stomachs almost all day long, especially for women. Hide! That! Gut! What ends up happening is that we shorten our breath, sending it up into our chest and throat, and sending our thoughts spinning right along with it.

Experiment number two: settle into your seat, place one hand on your belly, and as you inhale deeply fill up your belly like a balloon (or a Buddha belly). Let it really go and expand and use it's full capacity for breath. Tighten slightly up and in on the exhale; repeat.

Check-in: after doing this for at least 3 breaths, do you notice a sense of calming or centering?

3) Feet — Grounding

The symptom: what also tends to send us too far into our monkey minds is that many of us literally forget our feet.

The experiment: To feel grounded, it helps tremendously to move (point, flex, rotate) and awaken the feet (even starting just by looking at them), then to plant them firmly on the ground. For any of you who meditate, Stacy even suggests trying meditation in a chair with your feet on the ground. No matter what you are doing or where you are sitting at this moment, either massage your feet if your shoes are off, or plant them firmly on the ground if you are sitting in a chair (with feet hip-width, legs at 90 degrees). Optional: close your eyes.

Check-in: do you feel your thoughts dissipate at all? Can you actually feel a sense of being more grounded?

 On a most fundamental level, the point of these three exercises is to help you get sense for your body, and how it relates to your mood and well-being. Stacy believes "if you want to change your thoughts and emotions, you have to understand your own body patterns" as part of the somatic healing process. We need to invite our bodies to the conversation, which many of us often forget to do.

As a very wise man taught me, "Keep your head in the clouds, and your feet on the ground."

These techniques will help you do just that, and it is with deep love and admiration that I am learning to embody that sentiment in my days here in Bali.

More about Stacy: Stacy Sims is a fascinating woman who has been a great teacher and friend in our short time here. An alcoholic for 20 years, Stacy found movement to be an integral part of her healing process, leading her back to her creativity in her 40s, which included publishing a novel (among myriad other creative projects) and founding The True Body Project. To learn much more about somatics and the principles highlighted above, Stacy recommends checking out the books Somatics and Waking the Tiger.

***

A few gratuitous Bali photos

Several of you asked what Ubud looks like outside of my little hotel room. Good question! Here is a picture of one of the main roads, my daily haunt Kafe, and a daily prayer offering made from flowers and candies placed in a basket made of banana leaves.

Okay one more just for fun since critters seems to be a theme of my Bali experience; here is a crazy mega spider (the size of my hand) that I saw on a tour of a coffee plantation:

LAC's 3 Blogateers: Introducing Melissa & Paul!

Drumroll please . . . I'm thrilled to introduce my two new LAC writing partners this week! As I mentioned in my year-end round-up post, as I prepare to launch a website under my own name in the coming months (I cannot WAIT for you to see it!!), I am bringing on two new writers here who are seasoned in different aspects of the after college experience.

We will each post 1-2 times per month—nothing too overwhelming—with a goal of bringing you even more targeted, original content than I'm able to provide on my own.

After much consideration about who and how many people to bring on, I chose just two — Melissa Anzman and Paul Angone — each of them because I deeply respect their work. Both of them are funny, wise, and insightful, and are committed to high-quality and insanely useful writing. AND both are still walking paths of their own, willing (and excited) to be open with all of you about their own ups and downs — a major must-have for this blog.

Introducing Paul Angone

From Jenny: Paul is a hilarious, heart-felt writer whose post, 21 Secrets for Your 20s went uber-viral (45K+ pins and 15K+ Facebook likes), and landed him a book deal which he will tell you more about in future posts. His posts are full of personality, totally relatable for those seeking in a variety of areas after college, and he's not afraid to ask and answer the big questions -- and share his bumps and wins along the way. 

{Enter Paul, Stage Left}

My name is Paul Angone, pronounced (An-go-knee), and I am an author, speaker, entrepreneur, story-teller, humorist, new dad, and creator of AllGroanUp.com.

But the Me me beyond titles is someone who is hell-bent on honestly discussing what’s really going on in our emerging adult years, guiding and inspiring others to rock their 20’s with more awesome than they know what to do with. My debut book releases this upcoming Spring 2013: All Groan Up: Searching for Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job! and my 21 Secrets for your 20’s ebook is free and ready to be taken into a good home.

I grew up in Colorado, have my degree in Communications Studies and a Masters in Organizational Leadership, and I live in Los Angeles with my beautiful wife and our two baby girls.

I’ll change all plans to watch a rerun of Saved by the Bell or Boy Meets World. When I really laugh it sounds like I’m hyperventilating and people run for help. I've driven the same Honda Civic since I was a senior in high school. And I learned the hard way that the Freshmen-Fifteen is nothing compared to the Cubicle-Cincuenta. (dang you, office birthday parties).

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Questions & Answers

1. Why do you write? And why for those living life after college? I write for those experiencing life after college because it was so dang hard for me to find my life after college. I was traveling a lot for my job and started writing alone in motel rooms to try and make sense of what I was feeling and thinking. Because it was either write or watch another rerun of Friends while introducing myself to yet another vending machine down the hall. I started writing not to find any answers, but to just discover the right questions.

2. Love the name of your book and website — All Groan Up. How did you come up with the name? Honestly, it came to me years ago and I did nothing with it. I called my first blog Graduwait (clearly, puns are big for me) and all my 16 1/2 readers loved it. But when I was thinking of this new site for twentysomethings stuck in the void, my wife and I wrote down maybe fifty different names on a piece of paper, and All Groan Up rose to the top like a goldfish looking for a meal. All Groan Up just seem to encapsulate the hardship and hilarity of living life growing up, but not yet grown.

And it's punderful. So that's a plus.

3. What do you miss most about being a kid? Recess. And eating a pillowcase full of Halloween candy without gaining a pound.

4. What's been the biggest mistake you've made in your 20's? My biggest mistake was thinking I shouldn't make any.

5. What's one thing that you hope people will think at the end of each post you write at Life After College? Thank God I'm not alone.

Paul Angone is the creator of All Groan Up, a community for emerging adults searching for self, faith, and a freaking job. Snag a free copy of his ebook 21 Secrets for your 20’s and follow him at @PaulAngone.

Introducing Melissa Anzman

From Jenny: Melissa has years of in-depth HR experience under her belt, then struck out on her own last year to launch Loosen Your White Collar with the aim of helping people fall in love with their work again, whether that means figuring out how to advance within your company, or make the leap to a new one.  Her posts are sharp, insightful, relatable, tactical and action-oriented -- and she's created a fair-many templates in her time, so you know she has a place in my heart!

{Enter Melissa, Stage Right}

My name is Melissa. I’m a reformed corporate drone and Chief Career Officer (career coach, writer, and speaker) at Launch Your Job.

I’m a Gen Y solopreneur and former Human Resources leader, helping people fall in love with their jobs and understand how Human Resources really works. I became a full-time solopreneur in May 2012 and have since self-published two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job, while helping others get ahead at work and learn how to launch.

I am an avid book reader — like several books a week avid, I’ve had an ebook reader since 2004 (starting with the eBookwise through my current device – Sony PRS-T1), my favorite color is purple, I have a black cat who thinks he’s a dog (he plays catch people!), traveling on my own is one of my guiltiest pleasures, I have lived in seven cities in my post-college life,  I’m a huge football fan, and a secret Sprint Cup NASCAR enthusiast (probably not that secret anymore). And yes, I am addicted to paper and pens, coffee houses, and taking photographs.

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Questions & Answers

1. What can possibly be so exciting about Human Resources? When I first fell into HR, I thought it was pretty boring too - documenting people transactions, asking the same questions over and over again to candidates, and being ignored by other employees. But that was before I realized that a “good HR” can be so much. It’s about people: understanding human dynamics and making the biggest possible impact.

I like witnessing, evaluating, and ultimately understanding how people react in different situations; how motivation works; what people really think and feel in relation to work; and why people... settle. But more than all of that, I like being the “center spoke.” HR gets a ridiculously cool insider’s look of the company, senior leadership, and how things happen.

2. What does Loosen Your White Collar mean? It’s a play on the old school Blue Collar/White Collar job designation. I picked the “white collar” side of that equation because we are typically the cubicle/office dwellers who take ourselves way too seriously. And yes, I was one of them. It’s time that we all remembered that work is a part of our life, not all of it—hence, loosening that collar!

3. What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in high school? It’s really bad...and I have so many embarrassing moments from high school -- thanks to being a klutz (I know that “college” is the more obvious option, but this is way more embarrassing). I fell backwards down a flight of stairs right as passing period started in the most occupied (for seniors) hallway. Seriously. Backpack on, propelling me backwards and upside down, with more people than I’d like to acknowledge, watching me. Let’s just say, it wasn’t cool... at all. Luckily I wasn’t the cool kid, so it didn’t matter much...other than a few jokes for a week or two after. I also fell in the middle of the cafeteria in front of the senior bench...

4. What’s your favorite “quitting” story? I am awesome at quitting jobs, also known somewhat as a job-hopper. My favorite quitting story is from college (see, I told you I would eventually relive those years). I was working as a Resident Director at my dorm and had a different opinion than our Regional Property Manager about...rules for Halloween. So I quit two days before the biggest night for our dorm and moved all of my belongings out within 24 hours. It’s my favorite story because I a) quit over a principle; b) had to relocate my living space in a short amount of time; and c) I wasn’t in the real world yet, but I learned very quickly how important having a steady income can be.

5.  What do you hope readers at Life After College “learn” from you? That I have made more career mistakes than most, and I am still standing to tell the story! But more than that, it’s okay to take risks with your career; stepping outside of your comfort can bring you amazing results; going against the flow is possible; and HR really is the gatekeeper (and how to get around/through them!). And remember that success is hard-earned in your career, never entitled or given randomly.

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

You'll be hearing from Melissa and Paul with their first posts in the next two weeks. Let's give them a very warm welcome to the LAC Community in the comments! 

When one action can make a world of difference

Before we jump in: my friend Maryann is 7.5 months pregnant with a baby boy and her big, scary, hairy goal is to finish her Ph.D. before he arrives. In order to do that, she needs just 37 more survey responses for her topic on how Gen Y integrates self-goals with their work purpose. If you are between the ages of 18-30 and employed full-time, Maryann would be very grateful for your help by the end of this week. Lots of big goal karma headed your way in return :)  When I tell someone—either here or in the states—that I have traveled to SE Asia on my own for two months, a fairly common response is something along the lines of, "Wow! You are so adventurous!"

I am flattered, but as I have reflected on this phrase, there is something you should know.

I don't consider myself the adventurous type.

I'm not all that spontaneous about big life decisions, and I teeter on the verge of analysis paralysis with the best of 'em. How much will this cost? How will the logistics work? What challenges will I face? Will I regret this decision? Will it help or hurt my life goals? How will it affect my overall happiness? What are the potential downfalls?

I did this for months (if not years) before finally making the decision to strike out on my own and start my own business—and now, here I am two years later, still standing to talk about it.

This trip was not booked on a whim either. I was absolutely nervous about planning and executing the whole thing! Where will I live? Will my coaching clients be okay with it? Can I find good Internet to run my course? What will I eat? And on and on...

In the end, my adventurous "spirit" came down to just ONE thing: the courage to book the plane ticket.

That's it.

It meant following my gut, getting support from family and friends (though even that won't always happen with our big dreams), and knowing that by taking just one bold action the rest of the details would fall into place—or at the very least feel more manageable.

Pulling the trigger on the plane ticket took me weeks of tip-toeing, hesitating and wavering, and that was many months after deciding for sure that I would go! But once I purchased the ticket there was no turning back, and I had the freedom to move out of fear and into planning and action.

The Man, who I am very grateful to say has been incredibly supportive of this trip, shared the following quote the other day from the movie Three Kings:

“The way it works is, you do the thing you’re scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before.” —George Clooney as Archie Gates

YES.

Sometimes it boils down to ONE action. One critical, pivotal action.

Even if the rest of you is scared sh*tless, find the one chance you're willing to take and trust that the secondary steps will follow.

When Making Sh*t Happen isn't just a "nice to have"

Sometimes, though, even just that first step can seem insurmountable.

I have been so touched by the emails that have come in about the course this week. Many of you are ready to do big things, but have also expressed that you are in a tough spot financially, and I completely understand. You are in my thoughts, and I am sending positive energy your way for momentum this year in your career and finances.

To that end, it is very important for me to say that sometimes "Making Sh*t Happen" is about Making Ends Meet.

It is about getting yourself back on your feet. Building up your reserves, getting out of debt, or starting a small side business that can relieve some of the pressure you are feeling. So that you can breathe again, and sleep through the night.

While the Make Sh*t Happen course CAN be about some big glamorous life experiment, it absolutely does not have to be.

Many of the alumni and members of the current class have participated at a time when they were fed up with struggling and wanted some emotional support and structure to get back on their feet. The course costs $400, but I have every intention to help those of you who enroll earn that money back and then some, if that is a focus for you.

We have an outstanding, inspiring group of people assembling so far, and while I cannot make any promises about what will happen when the ten weeks are up, I can assure you that you will be amongst friends and a new "family" who will be by your side at every pivotal step to get you where you want to go—whether it's booking a plane ticket, getting a business off the ground, or getting back on your feet.

Enrollment closes on Sunday at midnight, and the course officially begins on Monday. You can read more and enroll here.

No matter what, I look forward to supporting ALL of you — course or no course — in whatever ways I can on the road ahead!

I'd love to hear from you in the comments: When have you made a big life change that started with just one pivotal decision or action? 

Make Sh*t Happen Round 4 — Now Open for Enrollment!

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."—Ambrose Redmoon

It's here, it's here! Make Sh*t Happen opens for enrollment today!

The least you need to know:

1. This course can change your life IF you do the work
2. It costs $400* for 10 awesome weeks of transformation, iron-clad accountability and action
3. Enrollment closes on Sunday or when the 50 spots are full, whichever happens first

*In defiance of most online sales best practices, I rounded-up by $3.00 so as not to insult your intelligence with a cost of $397 AND I even put the price right up front so you don't have to go digging all over for it. Oooh-weee, Bali is bringing out my rebellious side! 

Why I scrapped the original version of this post

After three successful rounds of running MSH last year, I can say with certainty that this course absolutely works, if you meet me halfway. At the same time, I feel a little funny launching a course called Make Sh*t Happen from a zen'd out paradise.*

*By paradise, I must stipulate that since we last talked I almost bit into a fully-cooked beetle in my appetizer (NOT intended by the chef given the look of horror on the waitress' face), sunburned my legs to a lobster-red crisp while working by the pool for the first and last time (sorry dad, you warned me!), and flipped out after a gecko free fell onto my forearm from a tree. 

But I digress. I was talking with an older Australian woman at breakfast the other day before politely excusing myself: "I hate to cut this short, but I have a meeting. Have a great day!" She gave me the same sideways head-tilt a dog gives when you've said a command they don't comprehend. No words came out, but her face said it all: HUH?! A meeting? In Bahhhhhli? The sacrilege!

Given that so many are here on vacation, I've gotten more than a few perplexed stares when I tell them it's a working trip for me, and that I'm a small-business and career coach. I may as well be speaking jibberish to the wandering expats, the Javanese painter, the cheerful restaurant manager.

So yes, I feel a little strange talking about a course that's named so punchy! and loud! and hard-driving American! But you know what? I'm so damn proud of it that I don't care.

I don't care because it's the principles and the steps I teach in the course that got me here in the first place. 

Building from Zero

I also met an interior designer from Ireland who lost 80% of her belongings when her house burned down in a fire a few years ago. I expected to hear the tale of her emotional devastation, but "It is the best thing that's ever happened to me," she said with a smile.

The insurance money paid for a complete remodel, and she now rents her place out on AirBnB for a profit of $3,000 a month, which allowed her to quit her mediocre job, launch her own interior design business, and travel freely. As we talked about life and big leaps, she said "Sometimes your house burns down so you can build a better one. Trust that you can rebuild."

So often that is what Making Sh*t Happen asks of us—to burn down some previous version of ourselves, our fears, our circumstances—and start fresh with a slightly terrifying but awe-inspiring new sense of freedom.

"For years I’ve had things on paper that were little glimmers of what I wanted to do “someday.” As time went on, I realized that “someday” would never come unless I turned the ideas into reality. I signed up for the inaugural Make Sh*t Happen course, when I was grasping at straws and so worn out and stressed that I knew I needed to make a change. I didn’t know what that would be or how it would look, but I was looking for coaching beyond the “woo-woo” – the stuff that makes you feel warm and fuzzy, but doesn’t lead to any action.

I was terrified and didn’t have a plan. I had been a long-time reader of Jenny’s blog, Life After College, and knew she had gone through major changes and made it all work. It was 10 weeks of tons of reading, watching videos, introspection, and planning. There was constant interaction and hard questions with other people in the course. We all worked on different things, but the process was the same, and it was an amazing experience. It took 4 months for me to sign up for the class, complete it, and launch my business. Forget waiting years until everything fell into place – it was truly a Make Sh*t Happen moment.

—Emily Sanford (Read more at Skinny Emmie: Reflecting on Great Changes)

Who Make Sh*t Happen is for

Before we go any further, this course is NOT for everyone.

If you already have momentum with the thing you care most about, kudos! Carry on and keep us posted.

If you have your eye on something but lack the time or motivation to do the work, or the desire to invest in yourself in this way at this time, the course is not for you, and that is perfectly okay! Feel free to skip the rest.

This course is for those of you who are hungry for more.

You have your sights set on something incredible, but you aren't quite sure where to start.

You worry that friends and family will think you're crazy. Your fears feel paralyzing, but even through the haze you can see a glimmer of what is possible. You worry about how to stay on track and would love some accountability to hold your feet to the fire until you are gleeful to hold them there yourself.

Make Sh*t Happen is packed with reading material and videos to give you an exact, step-by-step process to achieve more momentum than you'll know what to do with—but the REAL value comes in the iron-clad accountability and support that we've built into it.

"To me, MSH was even more than the tangible outcomes – launching my own business, writing two books, earning income on my own terms, blogging, and so on. Make Sh*t Happen gave me a safe haven of sorts.

It gave me a built-in cocoon of people who allowed me to dream big, but also held my feet accountable to the ground. When I told them about my “online business” idea, they didn’t laugh or scoff or tell me to be realistic. They got it. They had their own BIG dreams, and I knew they could achieve them too." —Melissa Anzman (read about Melissa's experience here)

I give this course MY OWN heart and soul, and those of you who sign-up do the same. You will be partnered with two others working on a similar goal, and together you will support each other through the larger path of the course. We'll have community calls, personal check-ins from our MSH angels, and you will have the opportunity to speak with alumni whose stories resonate with you.

Each class has been full of awesome people just like you who decided to stop wasting time thinking about their dream and starting taking steps toward realizing it:

• Lora K. wanted to “figure out what’s next” and ended up joining the Peace Corps in Ethiopia
• Erin quit her full-time job to launch her lighting business, Sugarbird Studio
• Melani is blogging at Huffington Post, re-launched her copywriting business (and has a forthcoming book) about Career Switches
• Nick White is building an entire company (and writing a book) around his cancer experience
• Esther launched her Vegan Lifestyle coaching and consulting business, and is currently working and blogging at A,B,C,Vegan

More than anything, this program will give you a formula and system that you can apply to EVERY major undertaking in your life—not just the goal you choose for the course.

At the end of the day, this is a course about being more confident, more empowered, and more in charge of your life. This is a course about courage, pushing through fear, building support and celebrating your progress and your innate genius. You can learn more about exactly how the course is set-up here.

But what about the cost?

"My stomach was up in knots when I committed to the Make Sh*t Happen class. I only had a few hundred bucks left to my name but I signed up anyway, in the hopes that this investment would be worth it. Spoiler alert: signing up for MSH was totally worth it. Best money I ever spent." —Shannyn Allen (read about Shannyn's MSH experience here)

I know $400 can seem like a lot to part with (though maybe it seems inexpensive compared to the cost of coaching, for which I charge $1,000/mo)—but for 10 weeks that will change your life IF you are willing to do the work, I'd say it's actually the best investment you can make this year.

I look forward to getting to know you better should you choose to sign-up—and I'm warning you, once you do, you're stuck with me!! I'll be your champion far beyond the course itself. 

For those of you who pass for now, I wish you all the best as well—what really matters is that you are following your heart and your gut—and doing those big giant things that scare the sh*t outta you :)

And if any of you are on the fence about joining, feel free to reach out if you have any questions or check-out the FAQ.

Ready to Enroll?

Awesome—I’m excited to have you aboard!

Here’s what you’re going to get (full details here):

• A new lesson each week that addresses exactly what you need to know to move forward
• Dozens of case studies of others who share their ups, downs and lessons learned—many of whom have made themselves available for private 1:1 mentoring sessions
• Audios, videos and the 100 page e-book so you can learn anywhere, anytime
• Weekly coaching exercises to help you reflect on your purpose and get unstuck
• Weekly “real world” assignments that ensure progress on your goals
• Accountability groups to provide support, encouragement and feedback
• A private group to discuss your trials and tribulations with other passionate, talented people
• Four live Q&A calls with me
• Lifetime membership to the MSH Alumni Group on Facebook — an active group of awesome alumni helping each other out

I can't wait to work with some of you on tackling your massive, soul-stirring goal; thank you all for your interest and support thus far—it means the world to me.

Onward! 

Bali Travel Report: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly . . . and the Beautiful

Greetings from Bali! I have officially settled in on the other side of the world and have written and re-written this post in my head for the last few days—there is so much to share, but still so much that I don't yet have the words for. Consider this a scratch-the-surface start :)

I am a week and a half in to my trip, and things are finally starting to feel normal. I have resumed my coaching calls, I found a place to stay with (mostly) great Internet, and I am taking regular yoga classes at a two-story mecca over looking a rice field.

I feel incredibly grateful that I have a life and business that allows me to work from the other side of the planet; however, it is not without it's challenges!

Below are just a few of the highs and lows . . . hopefully shedding light on the nuances of what it really means to try to work abroad. Part of me hesitated to share some of these things as they are SURELY first-world problems, but ultimately I hope they help you appreciate your own creature comforts of home, and plan your international trips accordingly!

For those of you who want the exact cost breakdown of my trip, check out the latest edition of my new behind-the-business newsletter; if you like what you read, sign-up here.

First, a quick 45-second video hello and mini tour:

The Good (slash GREAT):

The food is delicious!

While not as inexpensive as a place like Thailand, you can get away with a main course and fruit smoothie or green juice for under $10 as long as you're not eating in one of the big touristy restaurants. Balinese people really are joyful and friendly, and I really enjoy talking with various waiters and hosts in the restaurants.

I had a traditional Balinese dish for dinner, Nasi Goreng (fried rice with egg and two chicken satay skewers) and a watermelon juice for $6.50. A recent breakfast was a cappuccino, pineapple juice and veggie scramble for $9 (though almost everywhere you stay includes breakfast with the room). The most I've paid for a meal was $20, but that was at a touristy spot and included three courses and two drinks. Hey -- I was starving from two full days of travel!

The Accommodations

$30 a night gets you a very nice room with free WiFi, a double bed, a private bathroom, breakfast and air conditioning. The views from most places are beautiful. $50 a night and you start getting into resort territory! Of course you can pay big bucks ($300+) but you certainly don't have to in order to be more than comfortable.

I even got a letter on my bed the other day that said, "We would like to apologize for the construction. As our policy for this inconvenience, we would like to offer you a complimentary one hour Relaxation Massage." Ummm...okay! Twist my arm, why dontcha! Talk about something that would never happen in New York.

The Cafes

Most places have free WiFi, and the second I walk into places like Kafe I feel right at home. Known for "great music, healthy foods, yummy desserts and true espresso" you can see why the place sings to me!

The Efficiency

It's unbelievable how much I actually get done here! I'm 16 hours ahead of Pacific time and 13 hours ahead of Eastern Time. By the time I wake up, almost all of the emails have come in for the day. I can process them in about an hour or two—far more efficient that answering them intermittently throughout the day back home.

And then—the most fun part—everyone goes to sleep! And I feel like I have the whole day to read, write and play hooky as long as I get what I need to done by the time people wake up again. It's glorious! Though you'll have to remind me I said that when I feel homesick and can't call anyone because it's the middle of the night.

A sense of freedom, peacefulness and calm

I don't have too many conversations or obligations in a day and I like it that way . . . I can go about my business, read, go for walks, and generally feel free to do whatever strikes me in a given moment. Though making random conversation is fun too. My favorite was a girl after yoga class who sort of blurted to herself but I was nearby, "Ugh, I just got a mosquito bite on my third eye!" Hah! So we compared bite notes and hopefully I'll run into her again to grab lunch or something -- she just seems like the awesome witty banter type that I'd hit it off with.

The Yoga

The yoga is great. Different than New York, for sure -- less super-charged uber-detailed power flow (at least than the classes I take back at home), but the energy of Bali in itself is so serene that it provides a great environmental backdrop for yoga and meditation.

The Yoga Barn (lower studio pictured at right), where I'm practically living these days, is described as "an indigenous, rustic, spiritual space, set amidst terraced rice paddies, nestled in the quaint mountain village of Ubud." The yoga teachers are mostly expats from Canada, Australia and the U.S. and they all seem to glow with blissed out calm.

The Bad(ish)

The Accommodations, Part 2

That $30 unfortunately does not buy a room with much privacy -- from pests or people. The windows don't fully close, leaving several open invitations for mosquitos to waltz on in and start their nightly blood extraction. I wake up around 5am to the sound of the staff sweeping right at my doorstep, and if I open my curtain it's a free show for the entire courtyard.

The Internet

It's not lightening fast like most places in the states, but thankfully where I'm staying it's not terrible either. Most cafes and restaurants have free WiFi, but there aren't great quiet places to work for long periods at a time (at least that I've found yet) other than my room.

I will say that during my very first coaching call of the trip this morning, the power went out in all of Ubud for about 45 minutes and I had no way to let my client know. Doh! I was mortified. Thankfully as a globe-trotter herself, she was very gracious and understanding.

The Ugly

Back to the mosquitos . . .

I have developed cat-like reflexes for catching moths and flying bugs one-handed in mid-air.

However, a few nights ago I woke up at 2am with a totally swollen lower lip. Think Will Smith in Hitch. I ran through a litany of possible causes in my mind: did I eat shellfish? no, wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole. Did I eat a nut I'm allergic to? No, and this has never happened before. Is it a bite from one of those scary-looking jumbo black ants? Maybe…and…GROSS. I hate to say it, but I had been hit with an ugly stick!

So there I was, up at 1am and crouched on my bed like Bounty the Mosquito Hunter. I could see one of those little bastards flying around and I was determined not to close my eyes until I killed it (sorry to all of you set-them-free bug lovers!). Groggily, in my half-daze, I clapped my hands randomly around the room until I finally flattened him between my palms. I would have looked absolutely insane to anyone watching. I fell back asleep to the feeling that bugs were crawling all over me.

When I woke up that morning, two more were circling my bed. It is never ending! Given that the windows in the place I am staying in don't close and the door has a one-inch open space around it, I am learning to live with these persistent blood-sucking adversaries. AND I recently added two geckos to my pet collection as well—one is hanging out on the ceiling, the other is a little baby (looks like this) I almost stepped on in the bathroom. What do I do with these things, people?!

A flood of negative thoughts

Bali is known for it's healing quality—the energy here is incredibly positive and peaceful—but to heal also means confronting wounds, ideas and fears that are no longer serving us.

For some reason during my first few days here, a wave of self-critical thoughts came over me. Surrounded by gorgeous exotic women from all of the world, all my insecurities starting bubbling up to the surface. Ugly self-talk about feeling ugly or fat or pale-skinned…then berating myself for having those thoughts at all. Focus on joy! Radiance! Your own inner beauty! But the thoughts persisted.

When you get quiet enough on a trip like this, the old wounds that want to be healed will plant themselves front-and-center so they can be worked through and burned up.

Which turns into . . . the beautiful

As The Man reminded me when I told him about this aspect of my trip so far (which I was embarrassed to admit at all, except that even through the phone my leaky eyes and shaky voice were a dead giveaway) — once we accept something, it is no longer a problem. It may not go away, but it does not cause the same unconscious pain.

It is our work to accept those parts of ourselves that we have been rejecting, and that want to be heard. "I don't want to sound mean, but I'm glad you're going through this so you can work through it," he said. Me too.

Taking a page from The Man's book, I finally made a point to sit down, get quiet, and let it all in. I asked "why" the fears were showing up over and over again to dig toward the root of them. I asked what I was so afraid of, following my fears' trail of doomsday "then what's." Not surprisingly, none of those trails ended with "and then you die!" So, true to the cliche, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and cheesy as it sounds, I do believe our challenges happen for our highest learning and evolution.

The amazing thing is that as soon as I did let all the fears and insecurities in and give them a voice—the fog actually lifted. I've had my best days yet yesterday and today—feeling happy, radiant, and serene (well, mostly...except the bout of cursing that occurred when I dropped my laptop on the tile floor).

All in All . . .

I am thrilled to be here, to have time alone, and to generally slow the pace of my life down for a bit, and I'm absolutely loving the quiet focus on reading, writing, yoga and delicious food.

But suffice it to say that I am not in the comfort of my New York apartment any more! I almost forgot, while Bali was still a far-off idea, that an exotic work trip is exactly that—exotic. It means taking the good with the bad, the quiet with the storms, and having patience while adjusting to new ways of life. The result, though, is truly something magical.

Living here was my BHSG that at one time seemed utterly, ridiculously, absurdly out of reach. But with some number crunching, logistical planning and fear dismantling, I am actually here, writing to all of you.

Speaking of which...a quick note on MSH

I'm gearing up to re-launch the 10-week Make Sh*t Happen course on Tuesday of next week...stay tuned for more details. I believe in this program wholeheartedly, and know that it can help you do absolutely anything you set your mind to. Just ask Melissa, Shannyn or Emily who all wrote amazing reviews on their respective blogs this month :)

Namaste!

Happy New Year! 13 Thought-Starters for 2013

It’s easy to fall into the trap of focusing on a routine set of goals — things we should do, or need to do, or that we kinda-sorta-maybe-I-guess would like to do — and then it’s no surprise that we end up letting them fall by the wayside because they feel dull and uninspiring. So today I'm sharing a twist for your 2013 list -- 13 thought-starters to help you brainstorm interesting ideas to kick-off the new year. There's even a template in tow.

Before we jump in, the picture on the right is an exciting side-note on my end: I'm quoted on page 84 in the January issue of Real Simple magazine! Click the photo to learn how to talk to your manager about a promotion this year.

13 Thought-Starters for 2013

Grab a notebook or this handy template and fire away!

1. What is one new skill that you would like to develop this year? Either on your own, or by taking a class. Speaking of which, check out this awesome new site I found that shows you classes in your area: Classtivity. 
2. What is one hobby you want to practice? This can be a revival of an old hobby or favorite pastime (like writing or playing guitar) or a new one altogether (like taking an Italian class or learning how to use a new camera).
3. Where is one exciting destination you would like to travel to in 2013?
4. What is one creative project or idea you would like to undertake? Have fun with this! 
5. What one career move would make the biggest impact on your overall happiness and success this year?
6. What one money move would make the biggest impact on your overall financial picture this year? Per Jacquette's advice, this can be something you spend, save, invest or earn.
7. Who is one person you would like to meet or reach out to this year? For example, either someone new (and maybe aspirational) or a re-kindling of an old friendship or relationship.
8. What area of your physical space can you clean, purge or re-organize this year?
9. What is one adventure you would like have in 2013? Choose something fun, risky, different, or otherwise soul-stirring! 
10. What is one health or fitness milestone you would like to hit? This can be related to weight loss, but it certainly doesn't have to be. For example, maybe it's running a race, completing a 30-day challenge or nailing a difficult yoga pose. 
11. What is one new system you can put in place, or an area of your life that you can streamline or organize this year? Check out this list of 90+ Tech Tools for some ideas, or sign-up for the LAC Newsletter to get access to the full Organized Like a Ninja toolkit. 
12. What is one thing you would like to ask for help with this year? Big goals often take a village, and sometimes we get shy or afraid to ask for the help we need. What would you love to have some support around, even if you're not quite sure who to ask? 
13. What is THE biggest, hairiest, most meaningful thing that you would like to happen this year? Don't hold back! Close your eyes and think of the ONE move that trumps all others -- that if this were the only thing you focused on this year, you'd call it a smashing success. 

Ways to bring this list to life

1. First, answer these questions yourself using this snazzy template.
2. Consider sharing your responses among a group of friends (or even just with one person) and setting up a monthly check-in for accountability.
3. To reflect on this past year and gather even more ideas for the year ahead, sign-up for the free two-week Acorn Project course.
4. For full-on accountability, coaching and support to help bring your biggest, scariest ideas to life, look no further than my 10-week Make Sh*t Happen course -- the biggest, baddest one yet officially opens for enrollment on Jan. 15!

And just for fun . . . here are my responses

1. What is one new skill that you would like to develop this year? Cooking?! Crazier things have happened. Maybe I'll just start with 1-2 new "staple" recipes (for now) to add to my soup and chia seed surprise. I also want to continue pushing myself out of my comfort zone around teaching yoga -- my plan is to teach a handful of classes while I'm in Southeast Asia if I can make it happen. 
2. What is one hobby you want to practice? It's not a hobby per se, since so much of my career is based on it, but I really want to be more discliplined about my writing. I just took Penelope Trunk's course How to Write About Your Life, and she compared it to going to the gym -- the important thing is that you just show up, even if it's only for 15 minutes a day. I know I have a TON of room for improvement in this area -- not just writing when I'm inspired, but actually making a disciplined practice around it, even if I never post half of what I come up with.
3. Where is one exciting destination you would like to travel to in 2013? It would be a dream to get to Australia or New Zealand at some point, but I have no clue when -- first stop this year is Bali in a few short days :). I am also going to be a keynote speaker at the University of Calgary in March which I am really looking forward to!
4. What is one creative project or idea you would like to undertake? As part of launching my new website, JennyBlake.me, I am going to create a new toolkit-type thing for people who sign-up for my new "behind the business" newsletter. I have no clue what it's going to be yet, but I'm excited to put together some of my best business systems, tools and suggestions -- just like I do in the Organized Like a Ninja Toolkit. 
5. What one career move would make the biggest impact on your overall happiness and success this year? Not to be a broken record, but definitely launching my new website! Doing this will allow me to broaden the scope of what I talk about, get a little more personal, and it seems to make more sense to me to have my name is the big "umbrella" site, and Life After College specifically geared toward career and 20-somethings. To that end, I'm thrilled about the decision to bring on two new writers here at LAC. I can't wait for you to meet them!
6. What one money move would make the biggest impact on your overall financial picture this year? Getting back to saving money!! For the last ~2 years that I've been on my own, I've been spending all of what I earn. It's an accomplishment that I haven't had to dip in to my savings since running my own business (I did one time but treated it as a loan and repaid myself), but now I'd like to set my sights on a long-term savings plan again. 
7. Who is one person you would like to meet or reach out to this year? I would love to cross paths (in person) with Justine Musk this year -- she's one of my favorite writers, thinkers and overall badass women.
8. What area of your physical space can you clean, purge or re-organize this year? My room at my mom's house back in CA -- it's been a storage closet for a while now, and I'm sure she'd like to put it to better use!
9. What is one adventure you would like have in 2013? Living and working abroad for at least two months (starting in Bali this week) will definitely be the biggest travel adventure I've been on. It's a big test to see if I can truly run my business from anywhere -- not just in theory, but in practice. 
10. What is one health or fitness milestone you would like to hit? I'm really interested in a yoga retreat that combines teaching assists, partner yoga and thai massage. I've got my eye on a few big impossible-seeming-but-who-knows-with-practice yoga challenges: a press-up handstand, straight-arm crow, and the splits. Finally, I'm looking forward to continuing with CrossFit when I get back to the states. Big thanks to The Man for getting me started with that in the first place six months ago! 
11. What is one new system you can put in place, or an area of your life that you can streamline or organize? A better system for providing information about my courses -- what is available, how to sign-up, when I will be offering Make Sh*t Happen next, etc. 
12. What is one thing you would like to ask for help with this year? Figuring out how I can best serve all of you here at LAC, and what new things I can create either at my new website. I would love your help -- just five minutes of your time -- for either of these two surveys: What would you like to see at Life After College? What would you like to see at JennyBlake.me? 
13. What is THE biggest, hairiest, most meaningful thing that you would like to happen this year? Launching my new website is BY FAR the hairiest and scariest: what will I write about? Who will read it? How will I create a whole new set of content? How can I be even more "myself" and share more of my life, travel, and business adventures? How can I make Life After College more awesome than ever at the same time? There will be lots more updates to follow in February -- sign-up here to get my new "behind-the-business" updates in the meantime :) 

I'd love for you to share one or two of your own answers in the comments... Happy New Year everyone!!