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Podcast Replay: Tame the Advice Monster with Michael Bungay Stanier

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Today I'm thrilled to re-share my podcast episode with Michael Bungay Stanier, whose book The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever is celebrating its one-year anniversary! 

If you haven't read the book yet, now's the time to grab it! From March 1 to 3 The Coaching Habit eBook will be available for purchase for just 99 cents on Amazon. 

There's also an awesome contest running from March 8 to 24. In honor of his famous haiku (mentioned below), Michael is inviting other influencers to submit their best coaching wisdom in just 17 syllables — their own coaching haiku. You can learn more about the contest and prizes here. 

And here's my own coaching haiku for some inspiration:

Listen deeply. Dig
for what's not said. Flicker of
Joy becomes fireworks.

Podcast Replay: Tame the Advice Monster with Michael Bungay Stanier

We have all had the experience of sharing something that’s on our mind with a friend, family member, partner, or co-worker — then bristling in frustration or quiet defeat as they jump straight into trying to solve our problem with their brilliant advice.

What’s the alternative? Curiosity and a few simple coaching questions. That what I dig into on this Pivot Podcast with Michael Bungay Stanier, author of The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever! Not just for managers and coaches, today’s conversation will help all of us become better black-belt listeners. Written as a haiku, Michael’s message is:

Tell less and ask more.
Your advice is not as good
As you think it is.

    More About Michael

    Michael was banned from his high school graduation for “the balloon incident,” was sued by one of his Law School lecturers for defamation, gave himself a concussion digging a hole as a laborer, was fired on his first shift as a garage attendant and has held a number of jobs where he had little or no impact.

    Luckily, there’s also been some upside. He is the author of a number of successful books including: End Malaria (which raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for Malaria No More), Do More Great Work, Get Unstuck & Get Going, Great Work Provocationsand most recently The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever. He is also the founder and Senior Partner of Box of Crayons, and was the first Canadian Coach of the Year. His real success in becoming a Rhodes Scholar and going to Oxford was meeting and marrying a Canadian who refuses to take him too seriously. 

    Topics We Cover

    • Why coaching and today’s podcast isn’t just for “life coach-y types”
    • 7 key questions to guide a coaching conversation
    • How you can apply these questions to coach effectively in ten minutes or less
    • What pick-up lines have to do with coaching and The Kickstart Question
    • The best coaching question in the world (and it’s only three words long!)
    • Why laziness is a benefit to you and the person you are talking to
    • The importance of getting comfortable with silence; why it is challenging and the reasons silence is actually a measure of success 
    • No more fake active listening! 
    • The benefit of sticking to questions that start with   instead of why
    • The pitfalls of trying to get more data (asking questions for your sake) versus getting curious instead
    • Avoid rushing to action; even how questions aren’t as important as exploring the what 
    • Stop solving the wrong problems and get to the heart of things with The Focus Question: what’s the real challenge here for you?
    • How the Drama Triangle (Victim, Persecuter, Rescuer) can inform conversations (and relationships) that have veered off course
    • How to pull yourself out of trying to be helpful to so many people
    • Why we should stop humblebragging about being “good busy” and “working smarter, not harder”
    • Combatting those habits with The Strategic Question: if you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
    • Double-loop learning and The Learning Question: what was most useful for you?

    Podcast: How to Tame the Advice Monster

    Press play on the embedded player below or listen on iTunes, SoundCloud, or Overcast:

    Resources Mentioned

    As Michael says at the end of his book,

    “The real secret sauce here is building a habit of curiosity. Find your own questions, find your own voice. And above all, build your own coaching habit.”

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    How to Build a Business by Playing Nice (+ Book Giveaway!)

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    Lisa Sugar is a pretty cool person. She has attended the Oscars, had a Hollywood-themed Bat Mitzvah, and her first concert was Michael Jackson. 

    She's also the founder of POPSUGAR, a global lifestyle media and tech company inspiring and engaging over 100 million readers. Since its beginnings in 2005, POPSUGAR has embraced a vision to "modernize the newsstand" and connect readers to all the latest trends in lifestyle and pop culture. It is now the #1 independent media company for women. 

    Of course, a successful business like POPSUGAR doesn't just appear. It takes a lot of hard work and passion, and Lisa Sugar's new book Power Your Happy details her steps to success in both life and career. 

    One of Sugar's overarching philosophies is to "work hard, play nice." She believes that you don't have to cheat or be cutthroat to get to the top—working hard and playing by the rules is rewarded just as well. Sugar notes:

    For me, nice doesn't mean saccharine or relentlessly positive. It can mean being fiercely competitive (which I'll be the first to admit I am) as long as you play by the rules. Nor does nice mean being sickly sweet or timid (I also curse like a sailor). My brand of nice comes from a place of honesty, supporting others, and being empathetic. Nice is the simple lesson you learn in preschool: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 

    3 Ways to Build a Business While Playing Nice

    1. Make friends with your competition

    It's easy to think of your competition as the enemy—a person or entity from which you want to distance yourself and keep secrets. But Sugar recognizes that a huge part of POPSUGAR's early success is due to the support of other writers and celebrity sites:

    It felt as though these fellow bloggers were my coworkers. ... We gave one another advice—about coding, finding images, tools, and navigating legalities—and become friends in the process. We were fond of one another and knew how much hard work we all were putting into our sites. ... Rather than see one another as rivals, we figured out how to collaborate. As a result, all of us grew our sites' traffic much faster than we would have alone.

    As you build your business and navigate your career, consider doing so with a mindset of collaboration and abundance. Going it alone and feeling as though you are in a stressful state of "survival of the fittest" is not healthy. 

    2. Stay true to your values

    When it comes to building a business or career, know that you have a unique understanding of your industry—the good and the bad—and have an opportunity to consciously choose how you want to participate. 

    When Sugar started POPSUGAR, she knew she wanted to promote a positive voice that inspires women to build confidence, celebrate their diversity, and feel supported. While many other celebrity and media sites thrive on a negative voice, Sugar was sure to cultivate an online community where people were safe. For instance, a primary editorial guideline from the beginning was to never write anything about a person you would not say directly to their face. Comments and audience engagement are also well-monitored to encourage positive conversation and weed out the trolls. In the end, POPSUGAR's values-drive business practices were rewarded with a rapidly growing community. 

    3. Focus on team culture

    The success of your business depends on many people, which is why it's so important to thoughtfully grow your team and team culture. Sugar notes that by focusing on building a work atmosphere that is happy and supportive, her employees are better able to do good work, suggest new ideas, and appropriately resolve conflict. 

    More specifically, Sugar encourages transparency and an all-hands-on-deck mentality in her team:

    I want to create a safe, positive environment where I'd rather hear what the twenty-two-year-olds have to say than make them cower in fear. ... At POPSUGAR, we have the mentality that everyone should know how to do a little bit of everything. Sure, you need to start by learning the basics and train your way up to bigger tasks, but being at the top doesn't mean you are ever above doing a little dirty work. That's part of working hard and playing nice and being a team player. 

    Book Giveaway

    We're excited to announce that one awesome Life After College reader will receive a copy of Lisa Sugar's Power Your Happy!

    To enter to win, please answer the following question in the comments by Friday, March 10. We will pick a winner via random.org and let you know! Good luck!

    Comment to Be Entered to Win: 
    What does "playing nice" in your business or career mean to you? 

    Marisol Dahl graduated Yale in 2015 as a Sociology and Education Studies major. She is currently a New York-based freelancer in communications and brand strategy, and loves exploring minimalist blogging and social media practices at her site Mindful & Minimal. She can be reached on Twitter at @marisoldahl.

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    How to Scale Your Impact and Make More Money

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    As mentioned in a recent LAC newsletter, my word for 2017 is impact. With everything going on in the world lately, these last few months have had me really evaluating how I am making a (positive) difference—with my clients, in my community, in the environment, and more. 

    And as a full-time freelancer, you bet I've been taking a hard look at how I can connect this service-driven side to my business goals. Being quite honest here, ever since I graduated college my major focus has been on making money and figuring out how to financially support myself and my ambitions. 

    But now it's time to reconcile two things that I've always internally thought were at odds with each other: making money and doing good in the world. 

    What I'm realizing now is that how much revenue you earn is actually a pretty good indicator of your impact on the world. If we consider the basic principles of supply and demand, the more revenue you bring in reflects a certain level of demand—people who are seeking your skills, services, expertise, and specific impact on the world. 

    And I know money is certainly not the only measure of impact. There are so many people out there who are making a huge difference in the lives of others without earning large amounts of revenue. 

    But here's the thing: maybe they should be making more than what they earn currently. How might we all be playing the small game financially, and not openly valuing our impact for what it's truly worth? 

    Making money does not have to conflict with your values. In fact, it's necessary in order to act on your values. If you can't sustainably grow your business or keep yourself afloat, how can you possibly expect to amplify your impact? 

    Let's stop getting that "icky" feeling when we talk about revenue and profit. Let's celebrate it as an indicator of success and impact. 

    And if you really want to talk numbers, check out this calculator that shows exactly how you can scale your impact and influence the lives of those around you. 

    How to Scale Your Impact and Make More Money

    What if your impact reached thousands of people? Maybe even millions?

    Sounds a bit daunting, right? 

    The good news is that the digital world makes it easy to share that knowledge with all those people. Online courses in particular are an increasingly effective way to reach more and more people and scale your impact in a sustainable way. 

    If you've ever thought about creating an online course, I highly recommend Danny Iny's flagship program, the Course Builder’s Laboratory. 

    The Course Builder’s Laboratory is the most comprehensive program out there. Inside, you will get eight modules that will teach you the entire system for creating predictably profitable online courses.

    From zeroing in on a promising course idea, to validating it with real sales, all the way to building a course people will want, CBL will take you through a proven step-by-step process.

    In addition to that, the Course Builder’s Laboratory comes with templates and scripts to help you eliminate guesswork and unnecessary effort – including email scripts, webinar templates, and sales call scripts for reaching out to people in your existing audience or personal network.

    The really awesome thing is that you will be getting a lot more than just the core CBL material. As soon as you join the Course Builder’s Laboratory, you will be assigned a personal course-building coach. This is someone who’s been extensively trained in the CBL process, and has worked through it with dozens of entrepreneurs. Your coach will work with you for the entire duration of the program, giving you feedback and helping you if you ever get stuck.

    If you’re serious about creating an online course this year, the Course Builder's Laboratory is the best way of making sure you follow through with it and succeed. Click here to learn more! 

    We all have a skill to share or something to teach. What is yours? I'd love to hear in the comments below! 
     

     

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    Motivational Mindsets Part 3: Write Your Own Permission Slip

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    Written by Lisa Lewis Miller

    If you read my previous post on motivational mindsets and thought to yourself, "Yeah, letting myself get angry is definitely NOT my issue," then this article is for you.

    Prior to becoming a career coach and getting my Pivot certification, I had a ten-year corporate communications career that I was damn good at. But I was completely frustrated with it, because it felt soul-less for me.

    When various bosses would ask me to work on Thanksgiving day or jump right back into work after I learned my grandfather died, I could feel a rage blackout coming on. Something inside of me said, "There has got to be a better way."

    I felt frustrated that I wasn't bringing my full self to work and letting that anger seep over into the rest of my life, but I hadn't yet given myself permission to truly explore what a change might look like. Because I was so busy being mad at myself for not having my perfectly crafted career plan executed with flawless perfection, I was spinning in anxious circles of frustration rather than moving forward.

    Through the disappointment of not getting it right the first time, I had painted myself into a corner where I couldn't win: I was a failure for being in a job that didn't fit me, and I was a failure for considering a change. 

    And while I knew I was desperate for forward progress, I wouldn't let myself step into the role of the hero in my own career because I wasn't done beating myself up for what felt like "failing" in my current path. 

    In order to move forward, the self-abuse had to stop. 

    I needed to forgive myself for being human — and for not being a robot who could keep doing the same tasks forever without wanting a change. 

    I needed to apologize to myself for creating an expectation that I couldn't or shouldn't make a career shift. No matter how much it cost, the price of my education and the time I'd invested in the field wasn't worth sacrificing happiness and fulfillment for the next 40 years of my career. 

    More than anything, I needed a set of empowering, loving beliefs that would let me take action and move forward, even if I kept making mistakes and getting things wrong.

    If you're experiencing an inner conflict of your own where anger or frustration is holding you back, this exercise will remind you that while you're never going to get it 100% right, not letting yourself take a chance is 100% wrong.

    Write yourself a permission slip.

    Remember when you needed a parent's signature to go on adventures in grade school? You may feel like you need permission to explore change in your life and career as well. 

    However, in a stark contrast to when you were a minor, you do not need anyone's permission to make a change in your life except your own. In fact, holding out for permission from others is often a reason why we end up in frustrating career situations in the first place. 

    If you want it, you deserve to give yourself the opportunity to go get it. So grant yourself permission to start today. 

    Click here to save your own copy of this permission slip in Google Docs!

    Dear me,

    I have been doing work that doesn't feel like it fits me or gives me the opportunity to fully use my gifts for ___ years, ___ months, ___ weeks, and ___ days now.

    I forgive myself for any negative feelings I have around this situation, because I know I made the decision to start doing this work because it made sense at the time. Back then, I wanted to honor my needs for ________ [financial security, feeling like I was advancing in my title, working for an organization that felt really cool, pleasing my parents, working in a job that matched my university degree, etc.]

    However, I've grown into an even more talented and aware person, and as part of that process, I've outgrown my current job. Because I value growth and learning, "outgrowing" a job is to be expected and welcomed because it will naturally happen throughout my life. 

    For the sake of my mental, emotional and physical health, I must make a change.

    Change can be scary, and it's easy to find reasons to avoid it. But change is incredibly renewing, restorative, and healthy, which is why I am actively seeking it out in my life right now. 

    As part of the coming transition, I hereby grant myself complete and unlimited permission:

    • For a transition to truly happen (!)

    • To let go of my belief I should completely control the outcome

    • To make mistakes on this journey, because mistakes are the best way to learn

    • To be a different person than I was last year

    • To get to know exactly who I am right now, including the evolution of my values and needs

    • For this change to take longer than expected

    • For this to be even faster than I can imagine

    • To prioritize "not disappointing myself" over "not disappointing others"

    • To invest time, money, or energy into activities or ideas because they would be fun

    • To intentionally surround myself with supportive people

    • To create the time for this by cutting out or minimizing the activities and people that are holding me back

    Giving myself full permission and wholeheartedly committing to change in my life is critically important right now because ________ [Write down every single reason you can think of. In moments of fear, worry, doubt, anxiety, or temporary setbacks, this list is going to be your inspiration and motivational lifeboat to keep you afloat.] 

    I grant myself permission to pursue a dream and come up short. It's more satisfying to shoot for the moon and land among the stars than to fail to launch. I would never forgive myself if I don't give it a shot. 

    And, perhaps most importantly, I grant myself permission to be successful beyond my wildest dreams.

    Success requires changes both big and small, and I know that to live the life I'm called to live, I can't let a fear of change paralyze me any longer. 

    Sincerely,
    (Your name) 

    As Jenny says so brilliantly on her podcast, "If change is the only constant, let's get better at it." Giving yourself permission and freedom to navigate change is a great first step. 

    I'd love to hear from you in the comments.
    What do you need to grant yourself permission to do?  


    Workshop: Crafting Your Career Vision with Lisa Lewis

    I'm excited to share that I will be hosting a workshop on Crafting Your Career Vision on Tuesday, February 7 at 3pm ET with the Momentum Community!

    In this webinar, I'll walk participants through a sequence of exercises to help them map out the elements of their professional and personal life that are the most motivating, energizing, and inspiring – and use those data points as a springboard to craft a personalized career vision to help them map what’s next. 

    To join this workshop, sign up for Momentum! In addition to the Crafting Your Career Vision workshop, you'll also be able to access all of Jenny's courses and workshops, ask Jenny anything in bi-weekly Q&A calls, and connect with other smart, generous, creative people. I'd love for you to join us.


    P.S.: Be sure to check out part 1 of this series on motivational mindsets, and part 2 about using anger as motivation! 

    Lisa Lewis Miller is a career coach whose strength is working 1-on-1 with ambitious people to help them clarify and achieve their goals. She is the go-to coach for multi-passionate millennials to help them re-discover, prioritize and honor their values in both work and life. Check out Lisa's video intro and sign up for a Pivot Coaching Jumpstart with Lisa here. 

    Motivational Mindsets Part 2: What Is Your Anger Telling You?

    Written by Lisa Lewis Miller

    Beyond victim mentality, there's another key difference between the people who take action and change their lives, and those who stay stuck in the same circumstances month after month.

    People who get mad take action. 

    Anger is one of the quickest and most powerful ways to elicit immediate change from yourself or others. While an uncomfortable and unpleasant emotion, it has an adaptive, survival-based purpose: it's a bodily signal that something needs to be changed.

    Anger is often called the emotion of justice: it tends to appear when your beliefs or values have been violated. The presence of anger also indicates a need to release outward and communicate your needs to another person in order to change a situation. 

    Anger has a physiological experience component as well. You don't just "think" you're angry, you also feel it. Bodily changes can include elevated heart rate, quickness of breath, increases in blood pressure, clenched jaw, muscle tension, furrowed brow, and more. This is your body's way of physically preparing you to take immediate action. 

    "The person who is angry at the right things and toward the right people, and also in the right way, at the right time and for the right length of time is morally praiseworthy." —Aristotle

    There are plenty of reasons that anger, instead of being viewed as a vehicle for justice and change, is seen as threatening and harmful. Displays of anger that don't reflect emotional maturity can be either rageful and destructive, or silent and manipulative. Neither of those anger manifestations are desirable or optimally effective at changing your circumstances while preserving the emotional health of those around you.
     
    Because of these risk factors, displaying any anger can be seen as a sign of "losing control" or being "overly emotional"—two shaming labels that imply we should limit our emotional spectrum and only externally express the more socially acceptable emotions of happiness, sadness, or fear.

    However, internalizing or suppressing anger has harmful negative physical, emotional and mental consequences—and staying in a bad job and angering situation can compound those consequences. 

    If you've been feeling dissatisfied in your career, let yourself get mad about it. Find a quiet space where you can be alone. If it feels safe and appropriate to do so, help yourself re-experience the feeling of anger by listening to angry music or reflecting on moments where you've been particularly pissed off.

    When you're ready, think about the things that make you really mad about your current job situation. Write down a list of every reason you are angry, frustrated, annoyed, vengeful, or defensive about work. 

    Once you have this list, ask yourself how to harness this emotional power and let it out in ways that will be healthy and helpful for you. Is looking at this list the trigger you needed to start looking for a new job? Do items on this list mean that you owe your boss a few pieces of direct feedback that you've never articulated? Are there places you need to stand up for yourself because a coworker treated you disrespectfully?

    Pair your mad list with your hero mindset, and challenge yourself to take action to address at least one item from your list today. Your happiness and satisfaction could depend on it.  

    Workshop: Crafting Your Career Vision with Lisa Lewis

    I'm excited to share that I will be hosting a workshop on Crafting Your Career Vision on Tuesday, February 7 at 3pm ET with the Momentum Community!

    In this webinar, I'll walk participants through a sequence of exercises to help them map out the elements of their professional and personal life that are the most motivating, energizing, and inspiring – and use those data points as a springboard to craft a personalized career vision to help them map what’s next. 

    To join this workshop, sign up for Momentum! In addition to the Crafting Your Career Vision workshop, you'll also be able to access all of Jenny's courses and workshops, ask Jenny anything in bi-weekly Q&A calls, and connect with other smart, generous, creative people. I'd love for you to join us.

    P.S.: See part 1 of this series on motivational mindsets here, and be on the lookout for part 3 in the coming weeks!   

    Lisa Lewis Miller is a career coach whose strength is working 1-on-1 with ambitious people to help them clarify and achieve their goals. She is the go-to coach for multi-passionate millennials to help them re-discover, prioritize and honor their values in both work and life. Check out Lisa's video intro and sign up for a Pivot Coaching Jumpstart with Lisa here. 

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    Book Giveaway: The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha

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    One of my favorite TED Talks of 2016 was Neil Pasricha's How do you maximize your tiny, short life? Entirely composed of questions, Neil likes to call it the world's first TED Listen, and it's a great thought-starter about the impact we each want to make in our lives.

    Watch: How do You Maximize Your Tiny, Short Life?

    Listen: Want Nothing, Have Everything: The Happiness Equation with Neil Pasricha

    Today I’m re-sharing my podcast episode with Neil from September, where we discuss the success trap, why advice is irrelevant, and the reason you wake up in the morning. Listen to the Pivot Podcast in the embedded player below or subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud, Overcast, or Google Play Music. And be sure to check out the book giveaway at the end! 

    "Be you. Be you, and be cool with it. There is nobody else you can be better."
    —Neil Pasricha, The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything

    Neil Pasricha's writing is like a cup of hot chocolate, or as he would describe it in Awesome Thing #119, like watching butter melt on a hot piece of toast. It is comforting and delightful. His latest book is about what he learned along his own roller coaster ride of reaching smashing success with his 1,000 Awesome Things blog and books, then realizing he still wasn't happy. We break down topics like The Saturday Morning Test, the three time buckets, and many more. Enjoy!

    More About Neil Pasricha

    Neil Pasricha is the New York Times-bestselling author of The Happiness Equation and The Book of Awesome series, which has been published in ten countries, spent over five years on bestseller lists, and sold over a million copies.

    Pasricha is a Harvard MBA, one of the most popular TED speakers of all time, and after ten years heading Leadership Development at Walmart he now serves as Director of The Institute for Global Happiness. He has dedicated the past fifteen years of his life to developing leaders, creating global programs inside the world’s largest companies and speaking to hundreds of thousands of people around the globe. He lives in Toronto with his wife and sons.

    Topics We Cover

    • Feeling trapped by extrinsic motivators, ever-escalating goals
    • Achieving massive success—multiple bestsellers, TED talk—then feeling trapped by the never-ending search for more
    • Overcoming compare-and-despair
    • The Success Triangle: sales, social, self
    • The Meat Grinder of marketing, stress from emphasizing sales
    • "The goal is not to be perfect, it's to be better than before."
    • What the healthiest 100-year-olds in the world can teach us
    • Ikigai, a Japanese term for the reason you wake up in the morning
    • Retirement is an arbitrary, relatively new concept; many of the world's healthiest places to live don't even have a word for stopping work
    • The Saturday Morning Test
    • Advice is irrelevant; "When we are looking for advice we are usually looking for an accomplice."
    • How he decided when to leave his job as Director of Leadership Development at Walmart
    • Why having a side hustle for so long as an author allowed him to take big risks at work and in his writing
    • Three Bucket Model of the Week: Sleep, Work, Free/Creative/Fun (56 hours each)

    Podcast: The Happiness Equation with Neil Pasricha

    Listen below or on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, or Overcast:

    Resources Mentioned

    Check out other episodes of the Pivot Podcast here. Be sure to subscribe via iTunes, Android or SoundCloud, and if you enjoy the show I would be very grateful for a rating and/or review! Sign-up for my weekly #PivotList newsletter to receive curated round-ups of what I'm reading, watching, listening to, and new tools I'm geeking out on.

    Book Giveaway

    We're excited to announce that one awesome Life After College reader will receive a copy of Neil Pasricha's The Happiness Equation!

    To enter to win, please answer the following question in the comments by Friday, February 3. We will pick a winner via random.org and email to let you know! Good luck!

    Comment to Be Entered to Win: 
    As Neil asks in his TED Talk: "What story or idea of yours might survive as a tiny, flickering light millions of years into the future?"

    Motivational Mindsets Part 1: Be the Hero of Your Career

    Written by Lisa Lewis Miller

    If you're feeling unfulfilled at work this year and are frustrated about it, you're not alone: a recent Gallup poll shows that only 30% of employees are engaged in their jobs.

    The idea that 70% of the nation's employees are not engaged is staggering, but not surprising. How often have you said or heard the following in your office?

    "My boss never listens to my ideas."
    "I'm getting micromanaged on every project I'm supposed to manage."
    "I keep getting passed over for promotions."
    "I don't see a path forward to keep growing here."

    These kinds of challenges will inevitably come up in your work life. The key is how you approach these challenges, for your mindset can greatly affect your health, wealth and happiness. Do you see these tests as a gift and opportunity for growth that's happening "for" you, or do you interpret these events as completely outside your control and react to life happening "to" you?

    The decision to be the hero or the victim is a critical one. Heroes see everything as an opportunity, take action when others sit back, and seek out personal growth opportunities hungrily. Victims complain and pay lip service to wanting things to be different, but are unwilling to take responsibility and make it happen.

    You have the ability to be radically free from a victim mentality. You can create your own reality each day, instead of reacting to it.

    What would change for you if you decided to be the Hero in your own life story?

    Imagine: our hero is sitting on the couch after a brutal day at work, having a dinner of box wine and Spaghetti-os, binge-watching season one of Quantico on Netflix...again. 

    Suddenly, the episode comes to an end and our hero has a choice: either continue to watch and become numb to how things have been going, or "flip" on the Hero switch and ask: "This situation is happening for me for a reason. This day isn't over yet. What can I do today to use these frustrating feelings as motivational fuel to make a change in my life?"

    The choice that makes for better movie drama also makes for a more fulfilling life.

    It's not that Netflix and box wine are bad—but using them as a crutch to avoid making scary and important changes in your life is not letting yourself live the life you were meant to have.

    As you're reviewing your outlook for the year ahead, ask yourself: where am I being the victim in my life right now? Is it with my boss, my significant other, or my mom? Is it with my roommates, my health, or my finances? Where have I been quick to complain, and slow to take action to improve myself or the situation?

    If you've identified an area of focus, ask: what if I were the hero of a movie and the audience is hanging on my every move, waiting to see what I do next. What would I do to keep the plot moving?

    There's a reason movies are made about people taking action instead of people paralyzed by fears, worries, and doubts. It isn't that the action-takers don't have them, but they feel the fear and do it anyway. Fear has a much harder time stopping someone who is already moving.

    What do you need to do in the movie of your life? Challenge yourself to do it right now. This day isn't over yet, and you're meant to have a life you love.

    Workshop: Crafting Your Career Vision with Lisa Lewis

    I'm excited to share that I will be hosting a workshop on Crafting Your Career Vision on Tuesday, February 7 at 3pm ET with the Momentum Community!

    In this webinar, I'll walk participants through a sequence of exercises to help them map out the elements of their professional and personal life that are the most motivating, energizing, and inspiring – and use those data points as a springboard to craft a personalized career vision to help them map what’s next. 

    To join this workshop, sign up for Momentum! In addition to the Crafting Your Career Vision workshop, you'll also be able to access all of Jenny's courses and workshops, ask Jenny anything in bi-weekly Q&A calls, and connect with other smart, generous, creative people. I'd love for you to join us.

    P.S.: Be on the lookout for parts 2 and 3 on motivational mindsets in the coming weeks! 

    IMG_2606_cropped.png

    Lisa Lewis Miller is a career coach whose strength is working 1-on-1 with ambitious people to help them clarify and achieve their goals. She is the go-to coach for multi-passionate millennials to help them re-discover, prioritize and honor their values in both work and life. Check out Lisa's video intro and sign up for a Pivot Coaching Jumpstart with Lisa here.