Lao-tzu on Knowing When to Stop

Which means more to you,you or your renown? Which brings more to you, you or what you own? I say what you gain is more trouble than what you lose.

Love is the fruit of sacrifice. Wealth is the fruit of generosity.

A contented man is never disappointed. He who knows when to stop is preserved from peril, only thus can you endure long.

—Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching

Motivated by Achievement: a Blessing and a Curse

I have been motivated by achievement for 25 years. It is all I have ever known. It has worked very well for me - I got straight As throughout high school and college, finished UCLA in three years with a double-major, college honors and Phi Beta Kappa. I moved quickly up the ladder at Google, completed training to be a life coach, ran a marathon and bought a house - all while building and growing side projects like this blog and my book-in-progress. I am not sharing this with you to brag - I am sharing it because I am exhausted. I don't know how I can maintain this pace for the rest of my life, or if I even want to. But when I think about stepping off the fast-track, I panic. It absolutely terrifies me because achievement is all I have ever known. Being motivated by achievement has been an incredible blessing - I've set big goals and reached them. And with each accomplishment I felt great...until I moved onto the next one, always wanting more. Which is why it has also been a curse. In many ways I feel defined by what I do, not who I am. I often feel defined by my job and the work that I do (either at Google or here on this blog).

To an extent, I think many of us are motivated by achievement, just to varying degrees. I would guess that you are more motivated by achievement than the average person because you are here learning, reading, and looking to get more out of your life. I know that many of you have blogs and side projects and big dreams that you are reaching toward.

When I took the Strengthsfinder personality test, Achiever was in my top five strengths. Below is some background information, adapted from the book, that you may relate to and/or find interesting.

Strengthsfinder "Achiever" Theme Description: Description of the Achiever: "People who are especially talented in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.  Chances are good that you approach your work-related or academic assignments with a great deal of intensity. You are known for putting in long hours and working hard. Instinctively, you naturally concentrate your physical and mental energies on doing whatever needs to be done right now. You have a natural gift for living in the moment. This explains why you need to produce meaningful results each day.

Because of your strengths, you sometimes dive into challenging situations because you trust yourself to survive or excel. Maybe you know that you have the talent to deal with obstacles or hazards as you encounter them. Launching new ventures might thrill you. Tackling impossible goals might energize you. Stepping out of your comfort zone into unfamiliar territory might stimulate you. You try to make the best use of your mental or physical capabilities. Driven by your talents, you routinely contrive innovative ideas. The art of invention stimulates your mind. You likely spring from one original thought to an entirely different one. You usually find unique ways to link two or more concepts." The Blessing (my words):

• You do not require much motivation from others.
• You set challenging goals for yourself.
• A full workload excites you.
• The prospect of what lies ahead is infinitely more motivating than what has been completed.
• You enjoy launching initiatives and new projects.
• Your seemingly endless reserve of energy creates enthusiasm and momentum.

The Curse (my words):

• Achievers tend to move on to the next challenge without acknowledging their successes.
• You may have intense feelings of restlessness, never satisfied with the status quo.
• You have a hard time "enjoying the present moment" because you are so focused on the future.
• You probably have to work harder than most at building a life outside of your job, because accomplishment and task-driven achievement is so satisfying.

Quotes from the Book:

• Ted S., salesperson: "Last year I was salesperson of the year out of my company's three hundred salespeople. It felt good for a day, but sure enough, later that week, it was as if it never happened. I was back at zero again. Sometimes I wish I wasn't an achiever because it can lead me away from a balanced life and toward obsession. I used to think I could change myself, but now I know I am just wired this way. This theme is truly a double-edged sword. It helps me achieve my goals, but on the other hand, I wish I could just turn it off and on at will. But, hey, I can't. I can manage it and avoid work obsession by focusing on achieving in all parts of my life, not just work."
• Sara L., writer: "This theme is a weird one. First, it's good because you live in pursuit of the perpetual challenge. But in the second place, you never feel as though you've reached your goal. It can keep you running uphill at seventy miles an hour for your whole life. You never rest because there's always more to do. But, on balance, I think I would rather have it than not. I call it my ‘divine restlessness,' and if it makes me feel as if I owe the present everything I have, then so be it. I can live with that."

So what does this mean? I make a conscious effort to be thankful for my abilities and to recognize myself for my achievements. I try to enjoy the present moment rather than always focus on the future. But what does all this really mean? Call it a quarterlife crisis, but for me it means I need to think long and hard about the kind of life I want to live. Is constantly planning, working and obsessing over my next bigger and better achievement really going to create meaning and add value to my life? Maybe yes, maybe no. I am still figuring it out.

When Life Gets Crazy

I owe this post to a wise, wise friend who shared with me the following advice: When life gets crazy...lift the oars.

What does that mean? Stop trying so hard, fighting so much. Stop slogging through rocks, rapids and the chaos of your life with clenched jaws and fists. Let go. Relax. Take a break and let life happen for a little bit. Lift the damn oars.

On a similar Zen-sounding water-friendly note, I also appreciate the following saying:

Don't push the river.

The river is a-flowing, baby. You are along for the ride. Life happens. Enjoy it. Rapids? Have fun. Learn. Get stronger. Smile.

Got any other "keep you going" sayings? Please share! No quote too cheesy. Seriously. Try me.

Living with Joy: Book Notes

Living With Joy is one of the most powerful books I have ever read. It is also not for everyone. I stumbled across this book on Amazon over one year ago, and keep a personal Cliffs Notes of my highlights that I re-read as often as I can. The book, "Living with Joy: Keys to Personal Power and Spiritual Transformation" was written in 1986 by Sanaya Roman and covers a the following topics: optimism, changing the negative into the positive, self-respect, self-esteem, inner truth, love (both ourselves and others), gratitude, inner peace, balance, freedom, embracing the new, taking great leaps, and higher/life purpose, among many other topics. I say that it is not for everyone because it is a deep and spiritual book - not distilled for the mainstream with real-world context, facts and figures. It was difficult for me to pare my notes down enough for a blog post (and a long one at that!), but first a little background on why I decided to post these notes today. A Personal Note Yesterday was the memorial service for my grandfather, and while I did cry as my dad spread his ashes into the San Francisco bay, it was also one of the most purely joyful days I have ever experienced. It was a gorgeous, clear sunny day with crisp blue skies. My entire extended family on my dad's side (and my mom) departed from Sausalito on a boat into the bay, traveling under the Golden Gate bridge, taking pictures, catching up, and looking through an album of photos showcasing my grandfather's life. The youngest person on the boat was my cousin's 4-month old baby boy, and the oldest was in his 80s. Despite the circumstances, it was a celebration of life, family, beauty, nature and of a great man, James Blake Sr. As the boat flew across the bay, with wind and water splashing in my face, I looked out onto the gorgeous San Francisco skyline and I felt overwhelmed with intense appreciation for the people I love. There was nowhere else on earth I wanted to be.

Living with Joy: Book Notes There is no question that attending a memorial service or losing a loved one renews appreciation for our own lives and of the lives of those still with us. The reason I am posting these notes today is because this book is about bringing that gratitude and sense of clarity directly into the forefront of our lives. It is about living with joy, not just experiencing it during life's major ups and downs. Each heading below represents the name of a chapter. The notes are loooong - but for fear of distilling them too much, I decided to keep it that way.

You Can Live Joyfully

• You may have many reasons why you cannot change your life right now. If you do not begin to create reasons why you can, change will always be a future thought.
• Know that you are always being shown the next step; it is always something that comes to your mind as an obvious, simple and joyful thing to do.
• You know what would bring you joy tomorrow. When you wake up, ask yourself what you could do with the day that would bring you joy and delight. Put a smile on your face, rather than focusing on how you are going to get through another day. Don’t focus on the problems you have to handle.
• Ask what you can do to let go of a power struggle or an issue that is going on in your life and draining your energy. What can you do tomorrow to free up a little more time to find inner peace?
• You will have joy only when you focus on having it and settle for nothing less.
• Many of your challenges on the path of joy will be to step outside of power struggles and come from a deep level of compassion. If a friend snaps at you or is unfriendly, step back, and with a sense of compassion, try to experience life from her perspective.
• You have so much to be grateful for, your excellent mind and your unlimited potential. You have the ability to create anything you want; the only limits are those you create for yourself. Wake up in the morning and affirm your freedom. Hold up your higher vision and live the most joyful life you can imagine.

Changing the Negative into the Positive

• You may be tempted to look back at the past with regret. You may think of many higher, more loving ways you could have handled some things. Yet those very incidents provided you with the growth that allows you now to see a better way of behaving.
• What you have now would not be possible without those experiences. You cannot leave something until you love it. The more you hate something the more behind you are to it, and the more you love it the freer you are.
• Every time you think of a bad memory that makes you feel sorry for yourself, or bad about how you acted, or makes you see yourself as a victim, or makes you hold a negative picture of yourself, Stop! See what good you created from the experience. It may be that you learned so much from it you never again brought that kind of behavior back into your life. It may be that because of that situation, you changed your path. It may have brought you an important connection or helped develop new qualities and personality traits. You may have served and helped many people in that job.
• If you are facing decisions or troubles, imagine yourself five years from now looking back at today, viewing the overall picture. Your future self is real and separated from you only by time. It can talk to you and help you know what to do right now, how to get where you want to go even more quickly.
• If you focus on something wrong with another person you can make it even larger. The things that were working in your relationship before will not start working. The more you focus on problems between you, or on what is wrong with other people, the more you will find relationships going downhill. The more you focus on bringing out the good in other people, problems will begin to resolve themselves, even though you haven’t worked directly on finding solutions.
• The more you point out to others all the ways they are bad or wrong, the more insecure you make them, and from that base of insecurity you actually create and enlarge the problems you focus on.

The Art of Self Love

• I am sure if I asked you to make a list of things to do that would be loving to yourself you would be able to think of many. There may be a part of you that reminds you that you’re not carrying those things out, and a battle begins. This inner war can be draining and making yourself wrong is not a right use of energy.
• The challenge of loving the self is to step aside from everything you are told, and ask, “Does this fit me? Does this bring me joy? Do I feel good when I do it?” It is ultimately your own experience that counts.
• Self-love also involves humility. Humility says, “I am open. I am willing to listen. I may not have all the answers.” Only those who feel good about who they are can express humility.
• People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness.
• Don’t take yourself so seriously.
• Laugh and play. It’s not the end of the world if something doesn’t go right. The quality of humor is perhaps one of the greatest doorways to self-love. The ability to laugh, to smile at others, and to put your problems into perspective is an evolved skill. Those who come from a high level of self-love are often humerous, have a great wit, and love to bring out the childlike playfulness in others. They are willing to be spontaneous, often find reasons to smile, are able to make others feel at ease and to be happy themselves.

Self-Respect, Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

• What you require for self-esteem is not necessarily what another person requires. It is important to discover what makes you feel worthy, confident and happy about who you are.
• Self-respect at the highest levels comes from honoring your soul. This means speaking and acting from a level of integrity and honesty that reflects your higher self. It means standing by what you believe in (you don’t, however, have to convince others to believe in it), and acting in a way that reflects your values.
• Often, what you think are your values turn out to be the “shoulds” given to you by others, and when you actually live them you find they don’t work for you.
• Self-esteem means believing in yourself, knowing that you did the best you knew how, even though two days later you could see a better way. It involves making yourself right rather than wrong and allowing yourself to feel good about who you are. Some of you try very hard all the time, pushing yourselves, rushing around and feeling that whatever you do, it is not enough. Trying and working hard to get things done is not necessarily the road to joy. Respect yourself by following your inner flow. Rest, play, think, and take time to get silent. Doing those things that nurture you are ways to increase your self-esteem.
• Remember that you count, you are important, and that you have a unique and special contribution to make to the world. Know that you are a special being. Your dreams, fantasies and goals are as important as anyone else’s.

Refining the Ego – Recognizing Who You Are

• Think of people you know who have changed your life. In knowing them you felt inspired and expanded. Think of how they used their influence. It is important to recognize people who are full of light, for they come in many forms and packages.
• When you pay attention to your doubts and fears, to that little voice saying, “You’re not good enough,” you are simply giving heed to your lower self. You have the ability to change your focus.
• Pay attention to your higher nature, and your lower one will simply wither from lack of attention.
• You have also seen people who are truly evolved, who smile, who recognize greatness in other people, whose focus is assisting and helping. That is true power. It comes from the inner image you hold of yourself. You do not need to tell people if you are peaceful or focused; they know it.
• True power can be seen in the eyes. There is such love in the eyes of those who are truly powerful, and they look at you directly. They do not avoid your eyes, but look straight into them. You feel they really care about you. They pay attention to what you are saying. Do you give that kind of alert awareness to people? Do you pay attention?
• Truly powerful people have great humility. They do not try to impress, they do not try to be influential. They simply are. People are magnetically drawn to them. They are most often very silent and focused, aware of their core selves.
• Think for a moment, if you had six months to live, what would be the most important thing you would want to finish and leave behind? What would you change about your life right now? What limits do you have now that you would do away with? If you were to leave behind one gift to the planet, what would it be?

Love: Knowing the Wisdom of the Heart

• You can increase the love in your life by looking forward, letting go of your past patterns, and believing in your ability to love even more than you have ever loved in the past.
• Acknowledging people and acknowledging yourself is another way to experience love.
• Love operates in the present, and by focusing upon it in the present, you send it into the future and release it to the past.

Opening to Receive

• Every time you recognize the love you have, you increase it. One of the laws of receiving is that recognizing when you have gotten something increases it in your life, and every time you do not acknowledge something you make it so much harder to have more sent to you.
• The more you focus on what is wrong, the more wrong you will create in your life; the more it will spread to other areas that WERE working. The more you concentrate on what is right in your life, what is working, the more other areas of your life will work.
• Learning to receive is learning to ask for the essence of what you want, rather than the form.
• Often when you ask for something, you will find yourself going through unexpected changes to prepare you for having it. The universe will immediately send you many experiences to open up and change your attitude, so that you can have what you requested.
• Sometimes you must let go of certain things to have what you have asked for. It may be that you need to release a thought, friend, useless activity, or a high level of worry.
• Every time you imagine having something, challenge yourself – imagine having even more! If you want a house, a friend, or lover, any relationship, a car, a life of leisure – fantasize about it, and enlarge the vision. Fantasy can lead to higher purpose.
• Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life.

Feeling Inner Peace

• Part of growth is learning to create that feeling without being dependant upon things turning out a certain way or needing people to respond to you in a specific way.  You become the center, rather than reacting, waiting for others or for situations and events in your life to be arranged in such a way that you have peace.
• Creating inner peace from the higher levels is learning to open your heart. It means that you are not focused or attached on an emotional level to things that happen in the world you see around you. You know who you are, and you let things flow around you without touching or affecting your sense of peace.
• Inner peace is a connection to the heart and a willingness to let go of fear. It is achieved by letting go of having to defend.
• Having inner peace means committing to letting go of self-criticism and self-doubt.
• Manifesting inner peace means acting rather than reacting. It is a stance, an attitude; it is an energy you send flowing outward into the world.
• Right now, make the decision that you can bring inner peace into your life. Make the decision that you’re going to open your heart even more, be more compassionate, more understanding, more loving, and more forgiving of everyone you know. Form a picture in your mind of yourself going through the next week, and see yourself coming from a totally new level of peace. See the smile on your face and the joy in your heart.

Achieving Balance, Stability and Security

• If you wish to feel stable and balanced, stop often throughout the day and focus on what you are doing. Change your perspective. Sit quietly and experience yourself and your thoughts from a calmer level of awareness. The involves bringing your emotions into a state of peace and quiet.
• When there is no motion in your body other than your thoughts, you can think in a different way.
• It is not eliminating options that brings balance. It is doing things in moderation, stopping when the energy is gone and riding the waves as they come it. It means pacing yourself in a steady, even way.
• Do those things that bring aliveness to you.
• To feel secure you need to feel you are growing, expanding, and enlarging the scope of your world.
• You might think you will feel more secure by keeping things unchanged, maintaining the status quo. Yet, security only comes from taking a risk, opening up, and discovering more of who you are.

Clarity: Living More in Light

• Your life purpose is the most important thing you can get clear on. Clarity of purpose will direct clear energy into every other area of your life. It is that deepest desire within you, that which gives you the most joy, that which you think of, fantasize about all the time. It is that deep soul-level urge, that motivation; it is the dream that hold within you.
• When you are clear on your purpose, your intent, your motivation, your agreements, when you are clear on your communications, action flows. Many of you want to start with clarity of action, and yet it is clarity of purpose that is the starting point.
• If  you want to know more about your life purpose, or about any personal situation, then ask. You will need to create the intention and a time to hear. Take the time to sit quietly. It may not happen the first time you try. But if you continue to create the space for the ideas to come through, that is all that is required.

Freedom is Your Birthright

• Freedom is an inner feeling. It is the ability to choose what you want. It is the knowledge that you are the captain of the ship. Freedom is knowing that you own your own life, that you are the one in charge. Freedom is essential for joy, for anywhere you feel trapped or that your rights have been taken away, you cannot experience joy.
• You learn by trial and error. Do not make yourself or others wrong for the choices they make.
• The only limits to freedom are those you place upon yourself.
• To create more freedom in your life, do not look in the areas in which you do not have freedom; look instead at the areas where you have created freedom.
• You can create a sense of freedom from moment to moment by realizing you are free to respond, act and feel any way to choose. You are free to speak and take action within the framework of your job. There is always a level of freedom in everything you do. Look at where you are free. Focus on that freedom, and it will increase in your life.
• You can choose to remain centered and balanced even when others around you are not. This is the ultimate freedom, the freedom to choose how you will respond and be, the freedom to act in a way that elevates your energy.
• Ironically, the more freedom you give people the more they will want to be with you.
• I can guarantee that anytime you give freedom to others, they will turn to you with even greater love and respect. It takes a centered, balanced and secure person to give others that freedom.
• If you can choose to react with joy and pleasure, if you can choose to react by seeing the positive, making yourself right rather than wrong, then you have gained the ultimate freedom, the freedom to be and act in a way that reflects your deeper truth.

Embracing the New

• Embracing the new means being open to having more in your life. Many of you think that what you have created up until now is the best you can do. You make something and think that the first try is your best. But on the second and third tries you do even better. As you create things in your life, you become better and more skilled. That is the process of life.
• Opening to new things means trusting and having faith in yourself and others. It means believing that the future holds joy and promise. It means believing in your growth and direction.
• If you want something new, be open to having it come from anywhere, any place, any person.
• Every single thing that happens to you happens to assist you in bringing yourself to a higher level of evolution. Even those things you call negative or bad are there to show you new ways of responding so that you may be more powerful in the future.
• Let go of the fear that the future may mean having less than you have now or may take something away from you. Open up to the idea that you will be wiser, stronger and more powerful tomorrow and that whatever you create will be even better than what you already have.
• Life always seeks growth, expansion and evolution. In experiencing the new you can see more of who you are.
• Every morning when you wake up you are literally being born anew and afresh. Every day there are new things on your mind, people to meet, things to do. As you wake up and start your day, you need not think of the past and remember mistakes; instead focus upon the future and what you will create.
• So as you embrace the new, remember, things are always going to get better; nothing is taken away unless something better is coming. Every down cycle is followed by a great leap forward.
• Create something that is delightful tomorrow – one small step, or one small point of action that will bring you one step closer to your goal. The mind likes to have markers and feel a sense of accomplishment. What would be delightful for you to create tomorrow that would bring you one step closer to your higher goal?

Living in Higher Purpose

• With higher purpose, you can choose every moment, knowing what to do with the hour, the day, and the week. It allows you to grow and evolve rapidly in this lifetime.
• The new home, the finished book is not the goal of growth. But the process by which you create these things and the growth it gives you – the new skills you acquire, the insights, the opening of your heart when you love, the new appreciation for beauty your garden gives you when the flowers come up, the feelings that you have when you finish a project, the focus and concentration when you work – this is higher purpose, this is evolution.
• Spiritual growth means increasing your awareness of beauty, opening your heart, and experiencing more love and compassion.
• When a form has been created, but the reason for the form is gone, then it is time to let go. You have seen this in relationships, how many hang on to the shell of it when the life energy is out of the connection.
• Life need not be hard.
• In the next month, become more aware of your purpose. It is always playful and joyful. Higher purpose leads to the finer energies of life, such as a deep connection with a loved one, the joyful union of friends as they play, focus and lightness as you carry out your life work. Joy can exist in every moment if you are willing to live in purpose.
• You will send out a call to the universe telling it you are willing to grow. You will then be given many opportunities to expand and evolve, and none of your challenges will ever be beyond that which you have the skills and tools to handle.
• Because you are growing so rapidly, you must create new challenges to experience who you are.
• If you want to serve the world and get your work out, if you want to create prosperity, to open new creativity and skills, there is always a part of you that knows how. Talk to that part, ask it to show you what steps to take. Watch your inner dialogue, and listen for messages from this part.
• You are often tested by the universe to see how much you believe in your vision. Every goal is reachable if you keep working on it.

Recognizing Life Purpose – What are you here to do?

• When you are creating your life purpose you will have enough time, for you will create the time. You will find it so joyful that everything else falls away, and your determination, focus and your concentration is there.
• As you look at your life purpose, ask, what would you do if you were alone? If you did not have anyone in your life who would gain from what you did, or lose from it either, would it change your choices? What would you do for yourself? What would bring you peace and joy? What if society did not exist or had absolutely different values – would you still love what you are doing?
• Honor yourself as a unique individual. When you are with other people, don’t compare your path to theirs. Instead, go inward and look at what your highest path is, and compare your life to that.
• “How can I be true to who I am? What is my truth?”
• The more consistently you believe in yourself, the better the results. It would be easy if there were no setbacks (as you interpret them), or trials along the way. Honor every single setback, every single challenge or difficulty, for it strengthens your purpose. It give you opportunities to be even more committed to your vision, even clearer on your intent. If life were too easy or simple, most of you would be complaining of boredom. Honor your challenges, for those spaces that you label as dark are actually there to bring you more light, to strengthen you, to firm your resolve, and to bring out the best in you.

Economy 101: Visual Guides by Mint.com

While you may already know that I'm a huge fan of Mint.com's online money management system, you may not be aware that they also have a great personal finance blog. My favorite posts, hands down, are the visual guides to the economy - they cover a surprisingly large amount of ground in a simple, straightforward, and visually appealing way. If you want to quickly get caught up on the state of the economy, the bailout, and topics like inflation and unemployment, you will get a kick out of the following visual representations:

• A Visual Guide to Inflation
• A Visual Guide to Deflation
• A Visual Guide to the Financial Crisis - Part One
• A Visual Guide to the Financial Crisis:The Bailout - Part Two: Who Pays?
• Unemployment Rate: A Visual Guide to the Financial Crisis
• The Fall of GM: A Visual Guide
• A Visual Guide to the Federal Reserve
• Update: DeliveriesGalore (unrelated to mint) also has a great visual called "What Does a Trillion Dollars Look Like?"

Jess Bachman of WallStats.com helped create the images above. He also has a great site with fun, interesting info-graphics, which he describes in the following way: "WallStats (wôlstăts) n.1. Complex and elusive information synthesized into palatable and insightful visual pieces. 2 Friggin' awesome posters." Visit his site or follow him on twitter here.

Speaking of Twitter,  follow me if you aren't already! ;-) Not on Twitter? Join in the fun! Not convinced? Read my previous post, In Defense of Twitter </end of tangent>.

How to Rock Your Personal Finances

I am excited to share that last night my good friend Jenny Ferry interviewed me as a guest expert for her Year2Shine teleseminar series! (There is still room to sign-up if you are interested). The topic was "How to ROCK Your Personal Finances" - I definitely had a blast sharing tips and stories and Jenny did a great job facilitating. As promised, I'm posting the audio from the call with my notes below. The call was 60 minutes (right-click to download and open in iTunes); if you are anything like me when it comes to learning by audio or video you will appreciate the following call outline.

How to Rock Your Personal Finances - Call Outline (60 minutes):

• 3:15 - Introduction & My Bio
• 6:30 - The story behind life after college
• 7:55 - My experience at the start-up, my philosophy that money is a FUN (yes, you heard me, FUN) challenge
• 9:18 - My money-related quirks (from the List of 100 Things About Me) - the fact that my brother and I plan to be millionaires, on me buying my condo at age 24 (11:30), Money as a Means Not an End (13:50), never staying in a relationship because I can't afford to leave (14:50), Personal finance as a learning game - it's fun! On being forgiving with yourself (15:40), On HATING credit card debt (16:40)
• 18:26 - Statistics on Personal Finance (Jenny Ferry)
• 21:26 - Question 1: What is the single biggest mistake people make around money management?
• 23:21 - Question 2: Where's the best place to start when it comes to personal finance?
• 26:25 - Question 3: What if you are already in the hole? (My story on debt, channeling Eric Schmidt, the List of 100 exercise, and many other tips)
• 37:08 - Question 4: The "latte factor": How can you make room for things you enjoy?
• 39:40 - Question 5: Any resources you recommend? (Some notes on building credit and how I use Google Spreadsheets for finances - I heart the cloud!)
• 43:48 - Question 5b: Do you recommend automatic bill pay? (Short answer: yes, but only for companies you trust, and if you consistently have enough in your checking account).
• 47:00 - RECAP: 3 most important personal finance tips.
• 51:50 - Q&A: How to align money with your values

Click here to listen to the call

Q: What is the single biggest mistake people make when it comes to managing their money?

The biggest mistake I see young people make is having an all or nothing mindset when it comes to money. It goes something like this: "If I can't save a certain amount per month, I'll save nothing." Or, "If I don't know everything about investing, stocks and bonds, I shouldn't bother with any of it." Start small! Start by putting $10 a month into an Emergency Fund - it will help you get all the systems in place so that when you're ready to save more it's as easy as a click of a button.

Q: Personal finance can be really overwhelming. Where’s the best place to start?

Know the lay-of-the-land, or state of the union, as I like to call it. I break this down into three simple categories:

1. Income (how much do you have coming in)
2. Essential Expenses (recurring things like rent and bills that you HAVE to pay every month)
3. Nice to Have Expenses (things that you spend money on every month, like newspaper subscriptions, manicure/pedicure, etc). These are things you consistently spend on, but could cut one day if necessary. People often forget to factor these into their monthly "allowance" - then are surprised at the end of the month when they consistently fall short of being able to pay their bills.

Subtract the expenses from your income, and your left with your discretionary spending allowance - keep a close eye on that, and adjust mid-month as necessary.

Q: What is you’re already in the hole? What then?

About six months after I bought my condo, I found myself in debt for first time in my life...I was MORTIFIED. So what happened? I chalked it up to six things (you can read the longer version of this in Credit Card Confessions Part One):

6 things that got me into debt:

• Failed to adjust to higher monthly expenses
• Went into denial instead of reacting and adjusting: There’s no such thing as being resourceful and in denial at the same time – I essentially procrastinated figuring out how to pay my bills until I had gone way overboard.
• Spent the same $400 about five times: I had a chunk of “shopping money” budgeted – and I spent it about five times. I just kept saying, “Oh – this will come out of my shopping money” over and over and over again, without actually keeping track of how much I had left.
• Didn’t properly stock my Emergency/Car funds: My 14-year-old car needed about $1,000 of work. I have a savings account for car-related expenses, but it only had $300 in it. I should have accounted and planned for the fact that every year I spend at least $1K-$2K on car-related bills (registration, repairs, insurance) and budgeted for it.
• Counted my chickens before they hatched: I planned on selling some of my Google stock, then the market dropped.
• Some miscellaneous reasons: Ate WAY too many expensive meals with friends; spent money on gas and travel that while I couldn’t really avoid, I also didn’t compensate for; and spent small amounts of money that seemed harmless at the time on a really frequent basis (David Bach calls this “the latte factor,” I call it “the Safeway factor”).

7 Steps to Get out of Debt (longer version at Credit Card Confessions, Part Two):

1. Face the Facts: Look at your finances line-by-line and figure out exactly how much you owe. Figure out exactly how much money you have coming in (income, reimbursements from work, IOUs, side jobs). Finally, calculate the difference. That’s the debt amount - the part you will need to get creative with.
2. Prioritize your debt - credit card debt is by far the worst, whereas student loans can wait.
3. Cut Back to Only Essential Expenses
4. Generate Additional Sources of Income. Tutoring in something you are good at is a great way to get some extra income. Less flexible but more reliable would be actually getting a second job. Can include asking for help from family if that is available and it means not spiraling into further debt because of exorbitant interest rates.
5. Figure Out How to Pay Yourself Back - Getting out of credit card debt will feel great - and that should be your first priority. But it is every bit as important to strategize and take action toward restocking your Emergency fund and other savings accounts. Aim to save 3-6 months’ worth of living and car expenses.
6. Reset Your Financial Goals, Plan for the Future - Make sure you aren't just playing defense when it comes to personal finance. Reset your goals (and readjust as necessary depending on what is realistic). Make a plan for saving up for things you will remember buying and doing - like traveling - that are aligned with your values.
7. Reflect on What You’ve Learned - Arguably the most important step: look at what got you into debt and take action so it doesn't happen again.

Q: Let’s talk about the “Latte Factor.” How do you manage your finances and still make room for things you enjoy?

Anecdote - I spent $300 on Starbucks in December. $300!!! (Thank you Mint.com for so clearly bringing this shocking realization to light). While that's definitely overboard, I'm not willing to completely forgo my coffee habit.

This is all about prioritization. Smart financial management is about making choices, and about sticking to your commitment to those choices. Do you love lattes? Or going out to nice dinners with friends? That's fine - you just have to factor it into your budget and make room by cutting back on something else. Oftentimes people INTEND to cut back but they don't actually change their behavior - that's the key. Also, if you have the automatic saving structures and bill paying systems in place, you'll feel less guilty about the discretionary spending.

Q: Are there any resources that you found particularly helpful?

• Mint.com - monitoring spending, easy access (emails, texts, iphone app) to all account information.
• CreditKarma.com - allows you to view your credit score as often as you'd like, with explanations about what factors are affecting your score.
• Google Spreadsheets - tracking major monthly expenses and income "in the cloud" - online so you can access it from anywhere, share with friends or family if you want to.
• Ramit Sethi's new book - I Will Teach You to be Rich and his accompanying website

More at my previous post, 7 Great Money Management Tools

Q: Let's summarize: what are the three most important personal finance tips you have?

1. Know exactly what is coming in and out every month - have a system that is easy to manage and access (doesn't need to be quicken or anything complicated - I use Google Spreadsheets)
2. Emergency Fund - A MUST HAVE!! Aim for three months' worth of expenses. Be disciplined, don't dip into it unless you HAVE to.
3. System for automatic savings - have a separate account that automatically gets a cut of your paycheck through direct deposit. Start saving for retirement. NOW.

Click here to listen to the call

Check-out the Money section of this blog for more tips! Big thanks again to everyone who listened in on the call last night. For those of you who listen to the recording via this post, I'd love to hear your feedback! Right-click to download the call as an MP3.

Stress? I have NO clue what you're talking about

Stress gotcha down? Read highlights from a recent workshop I attended (plus thoughts from yours truly) below. I went to a great workshop today called "Accomplishing More with Less," led by Pierre Khawand from People on the Go. It was chock-full of great time management and organization techniques, but the part I found most useful was the portion on stress reduction and stress management.

Three categories of stress: 1.    We have unfinished or unresolved items hanging over us 2.    When things or people are not the way we want them to be 3.    When we are overly concerned about what happened in our past or might happen in our future

The Assumption Wheel (Five steps to break something stressful into manageable chunks):

1. Data: What are the facts? (focus on real data)
2. Mind: How am I interpreting those facts? What assumptions am I making? Also includes opinions, conclusions.
3. Feelings: How do I feel about the situation?
4. Wants: What do I want? (Usually something deeper than the first answer that comes to mind)
5. Actions: What do I do about the situation?

One of the main takeaways for me was that stress often comes from irrational beliefs that something should be a certain way, or that people should act in ways that are consistent with what we want. Pierre gave a helpful reminder to the class: we have more control over the action we take than the beliefs or feelings we hold. During stressful times, it's important to step back, look at the situation from a fresh perspective, and identify actions that will move you forward (rather than spin in circles about why something or someone is the way it is). This makes us more creative, and puts us in a better position to move forward and influence situations.

The final technique from the workshop for dealing with stress is the tried and true (but often difficult to put in practice) method of being in the present moment. In Pierre's words, "Only by noticing what’s happening now can we influence the future."

I have a few other stress strategies up my sleeve...check out Stress Happens...Whaddaya Gonna Do About It? for more tips. Sneak preview of the five steps mentioned in my earlier post: Recognize, Breathe, Walk, Write, and Forgive.

Ultimately we're all different (insight of the year!) and stress will rear its head in a variety of ways. I'd love to hear your strategies for managing stress in the comments.

Kosmix Search: Instant Encyclopedia

The New York Times ran an article this weekend about an emerging company, Kosmix, that takes a whole new spin on search. The article describes the Kosmix experience quite well: "For a key word or topic that a user enters, Kosmix gathers content from across the Web to build a sort of multimedia encyclopedia entry on the fly. For many queries, the results are pretty satisfying and look as if they have been compiled by a human editor, not a computer." My ears always perk up when I hear someone mention a search competitor to Google that shows promise. Search is a tough market that Google has pretty well cornered. But a page with dynamic, robust information from a variety of multimedia sources (including standard search results) is not a competitor so much as a suppliment, and this one is definitely worth checking out.

I'll share a personal example to highlight the comparison between Google and Kosmix. My doctor recently sent me a letter saying my Triglycerides are slightly high - which means I need to cut back on my sugar intake (unbeknownst to you, I am possessed by a dessert vacuum that eats any and all sugary foods in sight). At first I Googled, and came up with the typical list of sites to check: WebMD, About.com and Wikipedia.

But then I tried my search on Kosmix, and rather than having to click back and forth between a bunch of links, I had whole page of information to peruse. The Kosmix page had a wikipedia summary, articles, resources, videos, images, Q&A, blogs and even tweets! I was (and still am) thoroughly impressed. It's like an instant Encyclopedia page, but on crazy-awesome Internet steroids.

Wanna try something scary? Try Kosmixing yourself (Yes, I just used that term as a verb).

This is the Day To...

My friend Liz gave me a 5x7 card from life coach Caterina Rando called "This is the Day To..." It's been taped to the wall in front of my desk for over a year, and while I glance at it briefly every day, I finally re-read it for the first time in a long time. Although a little cheesy at points, I felt it was definitely worth sharing here with you. It is an incredible reminder to live big and give ourselves the space to be great.

This is the Day To...

Be loud and proud about your passion Keep your vision in focus Look for ease everywhere Uplift the world with who you are Be devoted to your dreams Take a risk and a leap of faith Ask for what you want Take consistent action Think big and broad Reveal your brilliance Proclaim your gratitude Acknowledge others often Acknowledge yourself more Expect success in everything Make this day matter

-Caterina Rando

Welcome WSJ Readers: 6 Tips for Life After College

I'm excited to share with my regular readers that I was quoted in the Wall Street Journal column, Starting Out, today! And a warm welcome to all the new visitors who have landed here after reading it. The column provides financial and career advice for people in their twenties just starting out. This week's subject was Graduates' To-Do List, a checklist of things to take care of before starting out in the real world (by Anna Prior). Naturally, not all of the tips I shared in the interview made it into the column, so I am sharing the rest here with you.

These ideas may sound familiar based on topics I've written about in the past; I believe they set the groundwork for three core areas of life after college: organization, career, and money. Although they happen to be aimed at upcoming graduates, most can apply to life long after college too.

Organization Tips

1. Create "The Ultimate Reminder File" for tracking appointments If you do not have a place to keep track of recurring appointments (medical or otherwise), you will always be scratching your head trying to remember when you are next due – or forget about making the appointments completely. Set up a simple spreadsheet to track all of your recurring appointments and the relevant contact information in one place, then schedule reminders to actually make the next appointment one month before you are due. Click here to see the tracking template I use.

2. Stay organized with an online calendar Create a calendar for tracking appointments, setting reminders and generally staying on top of things after college. I recommend Google Calendar because it is linked to Gmail and you can easily share events (or the entire calendar) with family and friends. In addition to tracking day-to-day events, you use your calendar to:

• Set-up monthly reminders to pay your rent, bills
• Set-up reminders to schedule appointments (per tip #1)
• Set-up annually-recurring events for birthdays and other important days to remember (like anniversaries)
• In the settings, sign-up for text or email alerts to receive your daily agenda (or reminder alerts for specific events)

Click here to read my previous post, Going Beyond the To-Do List.

Career Tips

3. Uncover and leverage your strengths Spend time taking a few assessments to learn more about your unique strengths and personality type. These tests can also help you identify potential career paths and give you language to better articulate your strengths to future employers. Collect your results and store them in a "master file" that you can refer back to as you put together your resume or prepare for interviews.

Myers Briggs: http://www.keirsey.com/ or http://humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp Via Signature Strengths: http://www.viasurvey.org/

Click here to read my previous posts on the VIA survey and Personal Branding.

4. Do a big picture visioning exercise to find a career that fits In high school you probably spent time visualizing characteristics of the ideal college you wanted to attend (large or small, in a big city or remote location, liberal arts vs. specialized education); this next transition into the working world should be no different. If you just settle for the first company willing to hire you, you won't give yourself a fair shot at finding a great job that aligns with your career goals. To start figuring those out, set time aside to think about what you really want from your first job.

Finding a Career that Fits - Questions to consider:

• What really excites you?
• What is your ideal work environment? (location, size of company, nature of the work)
• In an ideal world, what types of things would you be doing on a day-to-day basis at your job?
• What odd jobs or skills have always interested you? What kind of activities do you seem to pick up quickly?
• Picture your ideal self five years from now: What have you accomplished? What are you doing? Where are you living? (Think big – don't limit yourself to only what seems possible)

Click here to read my previous post, Career Exploration: Taking a Fantasy Job

Money Tips

5. Conduct a "State of the Union" for your finances, sign-up for an online money management system

It's critical that before you graduate (and forever after) you have a complete understanding of your financial situation. You should know how much you will owe on student loans, what your monthly payments will be, whether you have any credit card debt, and how much your bills and other expenses (like rent) will be each month. Even if you don't track spending line-by-line, divide expenses into "must have" and "nice to have" so you can prioritize what you spend.

Click here to read my previous post, Create a Weekend Budget.

I also recommend signing up for a money management tool online for monitoring your accounts and tracking spending. My favorite is Mint.com because you can access it from almost anywhere (and opt-in to weekly or monthly reports), and the interface is clear and easy to use.

Click here to read my previous post, 7 Great Online Money Management Websites.

6. Develop sound saving habits from the start Set up an Emergency fund and a long-term savings account (I recommend ING Direct), with automatic direct deposits from your regular checking account. Even if you only contribute $10 per month to each, it will start you off on the right foot and help you develop strong saving habits. Once you get your first job, you will already have a system in place for saving money.

Click here to read my prevous post, Ode to The Simple Dollar's 31 Days.

Temperature Check: What's Your Quality of Life?

With the flu still sweeping through my office like the plague, it got me thinking: even without a physical fever, I've been feeling tired and stressed at work lately (as you may have noticed from the topics of recent posts), which has a negative ripple effect on all the other areas of my life. In a recent White Hot Truth article about our relationship to sleep, the author quotes the following message:

"Tiredness is a kind of sickness...It is not a matter of how long we sleep that determines whether we feel tired. It is waste and negative thoughts and actions that create tiredness. Create positive thoughts and elevated actions and you will take strength from that, and your tiredness will leave you." -Dadi Janki

It struck me that part of the reason I was feeling so tired was that I let work completely take over my life. I stopped doing things that gave me energy. Yes, work has been particularly busy and chaotic lately; but I have a choice in how I respond, and the more I let things that energize me fall out of my routine, the more tired I become, and the less able I am to perform high-quality work. It's not a good cycle or a place I want to operate from, and it sets the wrong example for the people around me.

As they say, the first step is admitting you have a problem. After coming to the conclusion that my work/life balance was completely out-of-whack (despite my recent post on prioritzation), I asked myself three key questions to uncover specific problem areas and brainstorm solutions.

3 Questions to take your "quality of life" temperature:

• What are the areas of my life that I've let slip?
• How healthy are my current habits?
• What can I do to replenish my energy and feel excited and happy with my day/week?

The last step toward improving your quality of life is commitment - choosing actions that you believe will improve your quality of life and allow you to feel healthy and energetic again.

10 Small Actions to Improve My Quality of Life:

1. Exercise daily
2. Get outside as often I can
3. Drink more water
4. Smile more
5. Go to bed earlier, watch less TV
6. Snooze less
7. Engage in meaningful 1:1 conversations with people
8. Multitask less. Focus on what I'm doing at the moment and enjoy it
9. Take 3 deep breaths smack-dab in the middle of the day to slow me down when things get crazy
10. Be nicer to myself.

Those are my quality of life improvements (I would like to note that they are working already!)...what are yours?

Celebrate Your Life

"Your life is either a celebration or a chore. The choice is yours."
—Author Unknown

In what ways do you make your life a chore?

Take this as an opportunity to wake up and pay attention. Stop looking at your life, your work, or your blessings as a chore. Celebrate your life! Every minute you possibly can.

The Emotional Side of Money

Money is like food – we all have our weak spots. Some of us spend money emotionally. Some live in fear about money. Some have no fear! It's important to identify what your unique financial strengths and weaknesses are so you can start to address them and move toward financial freedom and ease. The purpose of this exercise is to examine your beliefs and emotions about money so you can see how they may be affecting your saving and spending habits, and identify areas for improvement. Emotional Side of Money - Questions to Ask/Answer: (This exercise will be more effective if you actually write your answers down)

• What is important to you about money?

• What emotions do you associate with money?

• What lessons did you learn about money from your family growing up ("good" or "bad"), both directly and from observation?

• In what ways do you manage money well?

• What are some specific ways you could manage your money better?

• Describe your ideal financial picture. How are you making money? How are you managing it? How are you spending it?

• What area of financial management or spending concerns you most?

• What one action could you take today to improve in this area?

• How will you reward yourself for improving in this area?

That's it! All your money problems solved, right?

Life After College Wordle

I've been having lots of fun lately with an online tool called Wordle. You provide a link or a chunk of text and it spits out a fun, interesting and customizable image, or word cloud. Words are displayed by size based on their frequency. Anything you create on Wordle goes into a gallery that you can then print or share with friends. The best part about Wordle is that after it spits out an image you can cycle through various formatting options, from colors to fonts to vertical or horizontal orientation, all with unique visual appeal. Check out the Wordle I created from the Life After College homepage:

Want More Success & Work/Life Balance? Learn to Prioritize.

Before you brush off this post as simply stating the obvious, indulge me in a reminder we can ALL use from time-to-time. I've had a number of conversations in the past week that, whether people realize it or not, all come back to time management and prioritization. Common signs that you could benefit from resetting your priorities:

• You want to make a bigger impact at work
• You want people to appreciate the work you do
• You feel buried in emails and meetings, and you are constantly reacting or playing catch-up
• You want more time to yourself outside of work
• You want to spend the free time you have doing fulfilling things; things that make you happy

As I see it, there is only one fundamental prioritization question: what {fill in number from 1-3} change or action will have the biggest impact on my {work, life, project, success, finances, relationship}? Some examples of this question manifested in work and life:

• Impact and Development: what 2-3 key behavior changes or performance improvements will have the biggest impact on my development and on my contribution to my team/company?
• Project Management: What 2-3 tasks are critical to the success of my project this week? Tomorrow?
• Work/Life Balance: What 3 things MUST get done today so I can leave the office at a decent hour without feeling guilty?
• Happiness: What is one change I can make that will have the greatest impact on my happiness? (Applies to all other areas of life too)

We all know that emails, meetings and busywork could fill 24 hours of every day, seven days a week. The people who succeed are not the ones who get every tiny task done or try to improve on every single weakness. The ones who succeed are the people who focus their time and energy on the highest-impact, highest-priority activities and learn to say "no" or "you can wait" to the rest. They work smarter, not harder.

***

You may also want to check-out my earlier post on Brian Tracy's Eat that Frog! concept, and read the following About.com article about Pareto's Principle, which states that 80% of your results are achieved from 20% of your activities. Finally, if this topic really interests you, check-out the book "The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Success by Acheiving More with Less" by Richard Koch.

Life After College Facelift! And a Little History...

This one goes out to all my peeps on Google Reader (and those who subscribe via email). It's time to jump out of the feed-i-verse and come visit my blog in a REAL web browser! I am excited to announce that I gave it an extreme makeover (everything but the tummy tuck). Funny story about the history of the site and why this redesign is a big deal:

When I first conceived of the idea for this website almost four years ago, I had never heard of blogging. I just wanted something creative on which to practice the new CSS and HTML skills that I taught myself at the startup as our default webmaster. As an avid reader and information gopher, I had accumulated tons of resources about life after college and wanted to share them with others forging out on their own into the real world. So I built the framework for the site in HTML - about 50 pages - and then got tired. Designing and coding the site (the exciting part) was over. My next step was to write and fill-in the content, and I got writer's block. FOR TWO YEARS.

That's right, my beautiful website sat vacant on the Internet for two years with all the links in place, but placeholder text everywhere that said "insert description here." Then a little over a year ago, someone emailed me. She was a fellow UCLA graduate and sent me the following email:

From one Bruin to another, great job on the website. I'm personally looking for answers re: life right now on the internet and all I found is this cute website. I wish you tons of success and the fact that you started this website inspires me that I can do a lot. Thanks for your 2 cents and initiative to start such a website!

Somewhat panicked, I checked my Analytics and lo-and-behold, I had gotten a steady trickle of 5-10 visitors a day searching for "life after college." I knew it was time to fish or cut bait. I had to either take the whole thing down, or finish building out my content and actually take it seriously. Her email, seeing that I could inspire someone with even a half-baked site, gave me the push I needed to finish and launch Life After College.

So I worked like a mad-woman for two days adding links, books, and accompanying text to get the site up to snuff. I sent the launch announcement email to about 50 friends and family around 10 p.m. one night, and as I lay in bed something hit me. I was missing a major feature. So I jumped out of bed, figured out how to install a blog into my existing site, and stayed up almost all night making sure it came together before people checked their email in the morning.

The blog brought my website to life. It gave me a voice, and it helped me generate new, fresh content on a regular basis. It didn't take long before I started ignoring the rest of the HTML pages, and about six months ago I realized that at some point I needed to take them down and switch everything completely to the blog. It just makes life easier, and HTML-based blogs are SO last year. So, friends - here we are! Starting today, Life After College has a new look. I'm breathing a sigh of relief, and enjoying the blog's transformation as much as my own since this crazy journey began.

***

As a side note, I moved all of my book recommendations to a new location: check-out my very own mini Amazon!

In Defense of Twitter

Take it from a converted skeptic. Twitter rocks. I used to think it was the ultimate time-suck: typing status messages into a vortex all day long?! You've GOT to be kidding me. But as a Web 2.0 lover and prided early adopter, I couldn't stand not being part of this seemingly-inane yet rapidly-growing phenomenon. Finally, after hearing speakers at a blogger panel rave about their love for Twitter early last year, I signed up begrudgingly but with a dash of excited curiosity. At first interacting with Twitter was about as exciting as watching paint dry. I started following five people, and had two others following me. I tweeted Facebook-esque status updates and wondered why on earth anyone would care. It definitely felt strange writing messages for two people. This would be so much more fun if I had more friends on here, I thought. If you tweet, they will come?

Little by little, my community started growing. It started with people I knew in real life - coworkers and random friends. Then it expanded to runners (when I was training for the marathon), bloggers, fellow life coaches, famous athletes and people who just make me laugh.

Twitter is not just about what you ate for breakfast this morning or how badly you want to pick your wedgie. People link to interesting articles, post quotes, share random thoughts, ask for advice and create a wonderful sense of far-reaching community. And every unexpected @ reply (someone responding to me), brings a generous smile to my face. I feel seen and heard.

For bloggers, Twitter is a fantastic way to broaden your network, meet new people and share ideas. It's also a way for me to share a little more of my personality and every-day thoughts beyond what I find post-worthy for my blog. For non-bloggers, it's a quick way to consume content and engage in guiltless voyeurism. And in the weird way that only micro-blogging and social media can, Twitter strengthens and adds layers to your real-life connections too.

I still have my fair share of insecurities about Twitter (and blogging, for that matter): Am I interesting? Am I funny? Am I useful? Am I inspirational? Do I actually have anything NEW to say? But then I remember not to take it too seriously, and to forge ahead anyway. I tweet and I blog because it makes me happy. And isn't that all that matters?

***

What would this post be without a plug to follow me on Twitter?! And for a funny related read, check out David Pogue's "The Twitter Experiment."

Seomoz's Web 2.0 Awards: Recipe Site Winners

Seomoz's Web 2.0 Awards highlight 170 interesting websites in 41 categories, and I always have fun scouring the list for new online applications. Based on winners from their "food" category, here are three recipe sites to add to your repertoire: Im Cooked From Seomoz: "An entire site dedicated to food, Im Cooked lets members share recipes, make friends, watch cooking videos and learn more about culinary arts without the frills that often come with gourmet food television shows and websites."

Recipe Key Similar to Super Cook, Recipe Key allows you to find ingredients based on the items in your pantry.

Cocktail Builder From Seomoz: "Have a lot of bar fixings lying around and aren't sure what to do with them? Enter your ingredients into the Cocktail Builder and let it tell you which concoctions you can make! Find recipes, drink suggestions and purchase bar paraphernalia."

You're Invited! Free Teleseminar Series for Women

Sorry fellas - this post is for the ladies. Looking for something fun to read? Stuff White People Like always delivers a good laugh! For the women - my good friend Jenny Ferry is heading up a series of FREE coaching calls focused on all areas of your life: nutrition, relationships, fitness, style, career and finance - and you're invited! It starts this Wednesday (January 21)  and you can sign-up here. The calls are free, and there's currently a discount rate of $29/month for group coaching if you want to sign-up for that too. The best part? I'll be one of the guest coaches! My section is called "demystify and control your finances."

About the Free Teleseminar Series: From Jenny: "You're invited to join me & my friends for a very special FREE EDUCATIONAL teleseminar series with some of the brightest female minds in the coaching world. We will be showing you how to:

• Create a springboard to accelerate personal success in life and work;
• Focus attention on the key factors to designing your dream life;
• Empower you to take the actions that will move your forward NOW;
• Avoid the biggest mistakes women make in their 20s & 30s;
• Shift your mindset for big change, even if you've failed in the past;

Let 2009 be your year to SHINE! Take a minute right now and add these dates and times to your calendar. You won't want to miss a single information-packed call! BTW, did I mention it's FREE! :D Sign up to receive the call-in number at: http://www.Year2Shine.com.

About the Coaching Program: From Jenny: "What makes it different? I’ve built a members-only online coaching community through NING where you can network, learn & grown with like-minded women plus access resources galore. It’s my attempt to bring affordable coaching to the young, fabulous & broke. So why not jump in to this exclusive membership-based coaching program for less than the cost of a latté a day? www.We4Life.com."

Jenny also has a great eBook called "5 Simple Keys to Rock Your 20s."  Head over to her site to download your free copy.

You Don't ALWAYS Have to Pursue Your Passion Full-Time

Don't get me wrong. I am all about figuring out what makes you happy, vigorously taking control of your career, and making changes so that you don't get run into the ground doing work you don't like, love or -gasp!- aren't passionate about. This might sound hypocritical given my general stance on doing what you love, but I want to acknowledge that there is a time and a place for pursuing your passion full-time, and it's different for everyone. I admire full-time bloggers, writers, artists, coaches and self-employed entrepreneurs. I also love the message from the guys at Pursue the Passion who interview people "living the dream." And I still choose to go to work every day at my full-time job, working for "the man" even though my dream is to have my own company one day. No, work is not my most passionate passion. But that is OK. Don't feel bad if you are working to pay the bills. Work is called work for a reason - it's fun if you're lucky, but if you're learning more and more every day, that's where you really get a return on your investment.

During my two week vacation over the holidays, I spent almost every waking hour of the day working on my book, writing blog posts and doing a coaching session here and there (all passions of mine). But I also missed the chaos and camaraderie of working at Google.

I confirmed my hunch that I wouldn't be happy without my full-time job in my life right now, and I'm still learning so much every day that it feels incredibly worth it to spend so much time at work. Plus, it gives me more to blog, write (and eventually) coach and consult about. It will probably make me a better business school candidate. Without entry-level experience at the start-up and without a full-time job learning how to be a manager right now, I definitely wouldn't be where I am today in terms of business skills, knowledge, self-management and people-skills. The pace of learning far outweighs the trade-off of not pursuing my passion full-time right now.

So here's the bottom-line: there's a lot of talk in the blogosphere about pursuing your passion and quitting your job to follow your dream. And I think that is fan-freaking-tastic whenever you are READY for it. Don't feel bad if you're not ready today. Don't let fear hold you back, but learn to separate fear from actually getting value out of where you are now.

And that doesn't mean throwing your passion out the window - commit to carving out time every day and every week to cultivate activities and start building a vocation you really love.  If it's volunteering, do it! If it's writing, do that! If you can figure out how to do these things within your job description? Even better! It's not a zero-sum game - you don't have to pursue your passions full-time in order to have them in your life.