February Fun: Publishing Resources, Questions & Updates... (oh my)!

Can you believe we are halfway through February already? Official book countdown: one month, one week, six days. Eee! Today I bring you a sampler platter of all things publishing: advice-seeking for my Amazon page, short videos in which I share my favorite tips from each chapter of the book, Inbox Freedom recordings, an awesome e-magazine (that I happen to be featured in), and a whole buffet of writing-related resources. Can you tell I'm writing this while hungry? My food metaphors are out of control today!

Book Trailer Update & Conundrum - Need your advice

Thank you all so much for your votes last week! Video #2 (the short cut) was the runaway winner, though the longer 3-minute trailer definitely got a few heartfelt (and might I add incredibly convincing!) votes too.

Now get this -- in order to post the video to the Amazon sales page for the book (as Resonate does, for example), I would have to pay $1,000!!! Would you do it?

It seems a shame not to...but I've already asked the publisher if they will split the cost with me and they said no. I feel very torn...it's such a rip off! Especially considering how much Amazon hacks the book price down...authors barely make any money off Amazon sales as is, now they charge $1,000 to help sell the book in the first place?!

So let me know what you think in the comments -- is a book trailer a compelling feature for you when browsing books on Amazon? Compelling enough to spend $1,000 to post?

Book Chapter Videos

In addition to creating a Blogger Kit, updating my Book Tour Schedule (and generally just pimping out LACBook.com), one of my projects last weekend was post-processing and uploading short 1-2 minute videos for each chapter of the book (all by myself...FTW!). In each video I share my favorite tips, quotes or exercises to help you optimize each area of your life. Check-out the YouTube playlist here.

In honor of Valentine's Day (which I basically ignored) - here's the video from the Dating & Relationships Chapter:

Inbox Freedom - Free four-part webinar series

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm hosting a four-part Inbox Freedom webinar series with my friend Pierre to give people practical tools and strategies for taming the email beast. The sessions have gotten great feedback so far!

Brett says:

"I loved last week's course. I've already put into practice the techniques you and Pierre shared, and I'm cruising right along with other projects without treating my inbox like an infant I have to check on every 2 minutes. My productivity has already increased, and I know the next 3 weeks will only boost it more."

Listen to the recordings and sign-up below:

• Session One: Awareness - Part 1 (~14 minutes, led by me) and Part 2 (~12 minutes, led by Pierre)
• Session Two: Vision/Goals - Part 1 (me) / Part 2 (Pierre)
• Session Three: This Thursday at 8:30 a.m. PST -- click here to join!

In Treehouses Magazine Feature

I am honored to be featured in the February edition of the GORGEOUS In Treehouses magazine, produced by Thom Chambers, with some of my absolute favorite people (Colin Wright, Amber Rae, and Chris Guillebeau to name a few). About the mag: "In 2011, In Treehouses is publishing ten free e-magazines. Each issue will feature brilliant contributors focusing on a topic that will help you reach your 1,000 True Fans."

This issue is called "We're All Publishers Now" and features an awesome mix of authors, innovators, companies and entrepreneurs who are all doing work related to the publishing industry. My story is on page 45 -- check it out!

Writing and Publishing Related Resources

I normally share the extensive list of writing-related links and resources I find with my Inside Scoop readers, but given that our topic today is publishing I thought you might like them too!

To check-out specific books, videos and blog posts I've mentioned, visit the Writer's Corner page on my book website, and/or subscribe to the monthly Inside Scoop Newsletter where I give a behind-the-scenes look at the publishing process.

I've tagged many more articles and resources in Delicious: Writing | Book Promotion | Book Publishing | Literary Agents | Self-Publishing and more...

Announcing the launch of EBookling

While we're on the subject of publishing, I wanted to call your attention to an awesome new ebook platform launching from my friend Colin Wright. In his words:

Ebookling Enables Indie Authorpreneurs

The premise of Ebookling is to turn authors in Authorpreneurs: creatives who own their work and have control over their financial destiny.

Ebookling’s place in this is to provide a platform for these authors, giving them the resources they need to take their products to the next level, the connections they need to fill any gaps in their process (designers, translators, editors, producers, etc) and a centralized store where they can sell their work to a large and varied audience.

We also want to get the reader involved, allowing them to become curators of their own stores and be paid to support their favorite authors. To this end, when you sign up for an account with Ebookling, you automatically become an affiliate. If you click a button to share a product listed on our store with the world, your affiliate code will be attached, and any sales that come as a result will net you 25% of the total cost.

That's all for now, folks -- have a fantastic week! :D

"Failed" Online Date Leads to Friendship...and a Book Trailer

I used to always scoff at people who said I should try online dating because "[They had] met so many friends that way." How does that work, exactly? How does one delicately let the other down, then blaze the buddy trail instead? Or if neither is interested, is there really enough juice to form a friendship?

It begs the eternal hotly-debated question: can guys and girls really just be friends? (For what it's worth, I vote YES.) It's a mature move for two people who don't mix romantically to decide that friendship would be a worthy consolation prize.

In December, with OKCupid's help, I orchestrated a 4 dates in 4 days "Date-a-palooza" experiment (brilliant term coined by Elisa). Part "bite the bullet and get out there" and part "research for my next book", one of the four outings was a second date with a guy named Jack.*

*Names have been changed to protect the awesome.

I wasn't myself. We could both tell it wasn't a fit. While dropping me off at the end of our date, Jack had the cajones to say, "I'm going to call this one at friends" and left it up to me to make the next move.

One thing led to another and now my Online Date Turned Kick-Ass Friend, who just so HAPPENS to be a multiple Emmy award winning film producer (I saw those golden statues of glory with my own two eyes), graciously volunteered to film and edit my book trailer. Gratis. (Save for regular Chipotle dinners. I offered yoga, coaching or a motivational speech in return, but he hasn't taken me up on any of the above…YET). Now THAT is what I call serendipity served with a giant heap of generosity.

I learned two important lessons from Date-a-Palooza: my third time attempting online dating was not the charm (romantically). It is simply not for me. At least not now, and especially not with all of this book excitement building and my attention focused obsessively on my baby.

BUT.

Second: when we let our egos go (as Jack did when he parlayed our failed date into a friendship), wonderful new relationships form. We get to know each other without the strain of trying to impress, woo or audition. We get to just be ourselves.

P.S. Look mom, I made a friend :)

Book Trailer Videos - I Need Your Help Deciding!

There are two cuts of the book trailer below -- the first is 2:50, and the second is 2:00. For those of you with five minutes to spare, will you watch them both and vote in the comments on which one I should put on the Amazon page for the book?

The first has more narrative from me and more answers from college grads. Both were filmed in SF in front of the Bay Bridge and at Stanford University. The lovely Melissa Foster Cook was on Flipcam for the outtake at the end. Hope you like 'em!

Life After College Book Trailer - Video 1: Long Cut (~3 minutes):

Life After College Book Trailer - Video 2: Shorter cut (2 minutes)

Learn more about the book on the Book Website or at Amazon. Want the nitty gritty behind-the-scenes details? Sign-up for my monthly(ish) Inside Scoop mailing list. For the book tour: if you want to join and/or request a stop, please fill out this form. I look forward to meeting many of you on the road! :)

***

P.S. The first recording of the "Inbox Freedom" webinar series is now up! Listen to Part 1 (~14 minutes) and Part 2 (~12 minutes), and be sure to sign-up for Session 2 next Thursday at 8:30am PST.

You're Invited: Free 4-Part "Inbox Freedom" Webinar Series

Hi all - just a quick post today to extend an invite to a free four-part "Inbox Freedom" webinar series that I'm co-leading with my friend Pierre Khawand of People On the Go. Each of the 30-minute installments will be part instruction, part workshop to help you get a better handle on your inbox. The series starts tomorrow at 8:30 a.m. PST -- join us if you can! Overwhelmed by email? For many of us, what we're doing isn't working when it comes to managing our inboxes. We know there is a better way, but we haven't found it yet. Pierre and I are here to help, as we also learn and practice right alongside you. I will bring the coaching/big picture perspective, and Pierre will help you focus on process with practical systems and tools. We will share tips and exercises that raise awareness (what types of emails cause the most stress/annoyance?), set vision (what is your ideal state of inbox management?), and brainstorm solutions (to help you start walking the talk).

Here's a brief description from the sign-up page:

This four-week webinar series is designed to help you re-assess your behaviors and attitudes toward your e-mail inbox. Through a series of tips, demonstrations, and interactive exercises, we will teach you new practices to transform the way you look at email and manage e-mail. Your inbox activities will go from ad-hoc, inefficient, and anxiety-producing to structured, effective and anxiety-free. Instead of letting your inbox rule your mood and even your life, become the master of your own email domain through this four-part series.

Pre and post surveys: Those who participate in the pre- and post-surveys and attend all 4 webinars will get a free copy of the eBook “The New New Inbox--How Email and Social Media Changed Our Lives--The Complete Survey Report” ($19.95 value).

Hope to see you there!

**UPDATE: Listen to the recordings and sign-up below:

• Session One: Awareness - Part 1 (~14 minutes, led by me) and Part 2 (~12 minutes, led by Pierre)
• Session Two: Vision/Goals - Part 1 (me) / Part 2 (Pierre)
• Session Three: Action/Next Steps - Part 1 (me) / Part 2 (Pierre)
• Session Four: Putting it all Together - Part 1 (me) / Part 2 (Pierre & Jared)

***

P.S. Keep an eye out for my next post...book trailer videos will be ready any day now - can't wait to show you!

8 Ways to Practice and Improve Your Public Speaking Skills

If you read my post Live for the Dip last year, you know that I felt like I BOMBED my first official bookstore event (even though my friends would tell you otherwise). I'm proud to say that I've since emerged from conscious incompetence, feeling much more able to deliver a speech or workshop with the right mix of structure, clarity, humor and inspiration. Most recently, I delivered a 40-minute webinar that outlines how we can shift the paradigm of Career Development (click here to watch The Ladder is Out -- How to Manage Your Career in the Age of the App).

It went off without a hitch, but what you may not know is that as I was being introduced I put myself on mute, clenched my fists (to give my adrenaline something to do), and started taking deep yoga breaths (called ujjayi breathing) to calm my slight nerves at seeing the attendee list hover around 85 people.

When my good friend Doniree recently asked for my advice on how to feel more comfortable at the front of a room, I realized that I had a few great methods to share with all of you from delivering training for over five years at Google.

8 Ways to Practice and Improve Your Public Speaking Skills

Doniree asks:

I've been told by my yoga instructor that I sound nervous/short of breath when I teach. I'm not nervous, but I am short of breath and I realized that I could breathe better when I talk in public in general. Do you have any public speaking training or tips you can offer to someone who needs to learn to breathe and talk at the same time?

Below are 8 strategies that have helped me hone my public speaking skills. Many of these may apply to you for business situations in general, not just public speaking (or in Doni's case, teaching yoga).

1. Download a free recording app on your phone. Practice saying something at your normal pace, then practice slower, then EVEN slower. Playback so you can hear for yourself what the three sound like, and even ask a friend which is most clear.
2. Take three ujayii breaths before starting. For non-yogis: this means taking a slow, steady, even inhale through the nose (fully engaging your lower belly, ribs, and chest/throat), then exhaling slowly and evenly through the nose. During both the inhale and the exhale, practice making the sound of the ocean in your throat (More on how to do this here). These breaths are always incredibly calming for me and help clear any nervousness in my system.
3. Make it a challenge for yourself to bring more awareness to your speech in every day interactions. Sometimes even when I'm talking with friends I will practice not saying "um" and other speech quirks that come across as unprofessional. Even though these are low-stakes situations, it helps me change my default speech to something that works in any setting.
4. Give yourself a rating on scale of 1-5 after every class you teach (or training, or meeting you present at). How'd you do? This will bring awareness to the area/s you are hoping to improve and help you track progress over time.
5. Pretend you are speaking to a non-native English speaker or a five year old. Does your pacing change? Another trick I use: pretend you are on The Today show, or speaking for the president, or some other super important thing with high visibility. How would you talk? How do you want to sound or come across?
6. Channel/observe a speaker or teacher you really respect. What do they do well? Ask if you can observe them at future events/meetings (if they live locally) - or look for more examples and videos on YouTube or TED. Bookmark the speeches/speakers you most want to emulate.
7. Probably most important: ASK FOR FEEDBACK - often! Make sure you have people who are willing to be honest with you. Ask them one thing you did well, and one area you can improve (if you just say, "what's your feedback?" they'll be hesitant to share development areas). You might also have people track when you speed up (certain segments?) and when you slow down, so you get more granular data about where to focus.
8. Clench and release a muscle several times before going up to speak. Try making your fists into tight balls (or any other muscle -- ahem, buttcheeks work too), then release and repeat. This will give your adrenaline something to do, and often helps stop shaking (which makes you appear more nervous than you really are) by the time you start.
9. BONUS: Join Toastmasters. (Thanks Sachit for the reminder!) Toastmasters is a great way to get practice and feedback in a safe environment, and learn from watching others. Something that helps me more than anything is practicing the outline of what I want to say, and having a note-card with the high-level structure. The more I know my content, the less nervous I feel. Toastmasters is a excellent way to hone your presentation's content and structure.

Most of all, experiment AND smile! Try variations of all of the above. Remember that everyone watching wants you to do well. Have fun at whatever you are doing, roll with the punches, and laugh off any mistakes! Besides, those are what make you human and relatable. No speech or presentation will ever be perfect -- so just get out there and do the best that you can! For my FAVORITE book on the subject: check-out Confessions of a Public Speaker by Scott Berkun.

I would love to hear from you in the comments: What public speaking tips work best for you?

***

P.S. I have a guest vlog (short 2-minute video) up at Corn on the Job today. I talk about how to do a Gap Analysis for your own career development. Click here to watch! Big thanks to Rich for hosting me :)

Travel Hacking Cartel: Bliss Without Emptying Your Bank Account

Many of us are early in our careers -- budget conscious yet eager to explore. Curious about the world but worried that we don't have the money (or the time) to justify the luxury of extensive travel. It doesn't have to be that way.

I'm going to tell you about a new program in a minute, but first, a few notes on why I care so passionately about bringing cost-effective travel strategies to you.

Travel sets my soul ablaze.

The triumph of a well-packed suitcase.

Sitting next to someone on the plane who starts out a stranger and ends up a friend.

Suspended in time as you travel from one place to the next; neither here nor there. Enlightened by introspection and enlivened by possibility.

Watching the sun rise and set from the window seat, its gorgeous rays reflected on the pillows of clouds beneath you.

Inhaling as you take in the glorious air of a new city.

The pride of stretching far beyond your comfort zone, eyes wide open as you soak up a new environment. The joy of observing the pace and idiosyncrasies of the throngs of people around you.

Reflecting with nostalgia on your return flight; forever changed by the people you met, the sights you saw, and the person you became.

I feel more alive with each trip I take, even if it's just a long roadtrip in my car -- music blasting, thoughts marinating, ideas generating.

But how do we make the bliss of travel a regular part of our lives, even without winning the lottery?

Enter the Travel Hacking Cartel

Chris Guillebeau, of epic book tour fame (who also plans to visit every country in the world before he turns 35), is on a mission to "democratize free travel."

Yes, FREE travel.

Not "pay an arm and a leg and get worked by airlines" travel. FREE.

Chris will unlock the secret hatches of the airline industry (currently unbeknownst to many of us) so that you can fly around the world without emptying your bank account. In his words, "You’ll learn about glitch fares, Round-the-World tickets, padding out your mileage account, earning elite status, and much more."

This is particularly prescient for me as I prepare to launch my self-funded book tour -- currently 12 cities strong -- while on unpaid leave from Google. Every dollar counts. That's exactly why I'm thrilled to be a launch partner for the Travel Hacking Cartel -- so I can learn for myself AND share the love with you.

The Travel Hacking Cartel is a monthly forum that provides the following:

1. Regular “Deal Alerts” sent via email and SMS/text message 
(when a big opportunity comes up, you will be the 
first to know).
2. Tutorials and an extensive Knowledge Base to get you 
started (most people have no idea 
what to do with miles and points...Chris will show you).
3. Refer-a-Hacker Program that will pay you 500 Frequent 
Flyer Miles for each friend you refer.
4. The “World's Greatest Guarantee” – if you spend at least 30 minutes a month travel hacking with what you learn above, 
you will earn enough miles for at least 1 plane ticket every quarter (or 4 plane tickets a year).

Four plane tickets a year! Yes please.

Intrigued?

There are three levels of membership: Economy Class ($15/mo), Business Class ($25/mo), and First Class ($39/mo). You can test the waters with a 14-day trial for $1 and cancel (or downgrade) at any time if you decide it's not for you. If you're one of the first 1,000 to sign-up, you'll get access to a free webinar on "8 Ways to Travel for Free in 2011."

Interested?

Get your travel hack on! Join me and countless others as we learn how to travel the world for free -- for less than the cost of an airport latte.

*Legal Jargon: I am an affiliate for this program. But as always, I am highly selective and will only share things with you when I believe that you will get tremendous benefit.

Video: Life After College Book Debut!!

Book. Box. My doorstep. IT'S HERE!!! Join me as I meet my book face-to-face for the very first time in this 2-minute video! (Filmed by the lovely Melissa Foster Cook, who is in town from LA for a weekend of brainstorming and strategizing. It also happens to be our first IRL meeting...gotta love the Internet!)

Life After College Book Debut:

WUHOO!!!

Have a great weekend everyone :D

What I'm Afraid of...and What I Know

This post is a "rip the bandaid off" exposé on some recent vulnerabilities of mine. If I don't share them now, I might just sweep them under the rug, and then nobody learns. Normally this is the level of detail I only share with my Inside Scoop readers; but when I woke up this morning at 4 a.m. after a crazy dream and the urge to write, I knew they had to be shared.

I posted a link for people to sign-up for my book tour on Tuesday. Less than 20 people have filled it out.

Giant red alarm bells started going off in my brain. "YOU ARE A FRAUD! AN IMPOSTOR! YOU got a book deal?! YOU are trying to take a self-funded book tour?! No one even wants to see you!"

Obviously these are fears. You might have just missed the link. Or maybe you were saving it for later. A bunch of my friends had already filled out a different one...so there's that. And the last thing I want to do is guilt you into coming!

But it reminded me - that with RIDICULOUSLY GIANT dreams come ridiculously giant fears. A sampling:

• I'm afraid my excitement about the book will get annoying, tiresome, or boring for you.
• I'm afraid that my book is coming out so soon and I won't have executed even half of the ideas I want to.
• I'm afraid of saying "no" - to people, tasks and meetings - right now even though I HAVE TO to preserve my sanity while trying to juggle my book launch with my last six weeks at Google before sabbatical.
• I'm afraid I will go to a city or a bookstore for a stop on my book tour and no one will show up.
• I'm afraid I will run out of money during my 3.5 month unpaid leave, and that I will fail at my experiment of trying to generate my own paychecks.
• I'm afraid I will have endless good ideas, but that I won't find the time to pursue them.
• I'm afraid that if I do find ways to monetize my ideas, no one will buy them.
• I'm afraid of gaining weight because "I want to look good for my book tour." I'm afraid of trying so hard to look like my inner critic's idealized version of "perfect" that I don't embrace what I have.
• I'm afraid I'll work so hard - because I love what I'm doing - that I burn out. I'm afraid I won't enjoy the moment or appreciate my gifts or give thanks often enough.
• I am afraid someone I love will get hurt or something bad will happen and I will hate myself for worrying about all of the above.

I am afraid of a lot of things.

But here is what I know to be true:

• I KNOW that being on the field is all that matters. Playing the game is what counts. If you just sit in the stands, you automatically lose.
• I know that if I didn't lift another finger, this book would still have legs (powerful ones!) and find its way into the world.
• I know that I am THRILLED to travel and just BE in every city, even if no one shows up. I know that I have amazing bloggers, friends and readers across the country that WILL show up. Just being on the road is reward enough. Everything else is icing on the (cup)cake.
• I know that this is what I have been building and working toward for my ENTIRE LIFE. Of course I'm nervous - but it's all good. It's all information, and it's all helping me grow into the next wonderful version of myself.
• I know that I'm resourceful and creative and I WILL figure things out.
• I know that everything is going to be okay.
• I know that I have low moments just like the best of them, and that is what makes me human.
• I know that I get up and keep going anyway, and that is what makes me tenacious. That is success beyond success.
• I know that I am doing the very best I can, and I am proud of myself.

I also know that I will be getting the hard copy (final version) of my book any day now. I know that when I see it and hold it, all of the fears above will wash away.

It will all be worth it. It already is.

Book Update: New Virtual Home! And Book Tour Deets...

Short and sweet, today folks! I'm thrilled to share that I've just launched a website dedicated to my book (aka my baby): LACBook.com. Woo!

I dusted off my HTML/CSS/Photoshop skills on Saturday and got deep into the zone - it was a crazy/awesome feeling. I sat down at 7 a.m. to work on the site and by 6 p.m. the sun had risen and set behind me, and I hadn't moved all day -- even to eat! Around dinner time I finally decided FOOD would be a good idea, and let my new Internet home (summer share, anyone?) take a rest.

Head on over and let me know what you think! I'm still building out the "Goodies" section with things like a Book Club kit, reader testimonials and videos. Please let me know if you have any other creative suggestions or book extras that you would like to see!

Update: (Self-Funded) Book Tour - I want to hear from you!

I finally have some dates set for my self-funded book tour! Up until now it has felt like trying to prop up an entire house all in one go. Where do I go and when? What order? Do I try to book speaking gigs first, or set my dates and then reach out? The analysis paralysis could drive a person crazy!

My plan is to go to at least 10 cities, coordinated wherever possible with existing conferences and travel. It's on me to pay for and plan the book tour because the publisher doesn't think it is the best use of their time and money. I am actually totally okay with that - I would also rather they spend their marketing budget for the book on getting it on the front tables at Barnes & Noble and on reaching out to national media (Universe - put in a word with me for The Today Show, mmmmkay?!). I just can't imagine launching this book without connecting with readers and friends in real life. It's a must-do! More details to follow soon on a virtual blog tour, including how you can get involved if you're interested.

In other exciting news, Google has graciously granted me a three-month sabbatical. I asked for some time off so that I can properly promote the book and give it my full attention -- it is incredibly important to me to focus on the launch with 100% of my time and energy. I've been at Google for five years (last week was actually my five year anniversary!) and as much as I will miss my co-workers and the free food, I'm looking forward to taking some time off.

On that note, please fill out this form and let me know if you would be interested in hosting and/or attending a meet-up!

Here are the cities I'm tentatively scheduled to be in:

• Austin, Texas - SXSW Interactive - March 11-March 16
• San Francisco Bay Area - Local Events - March 17-April 18
• East Coast (NYC, Boston, Maine) - April 19 - May 17
• Las Vegas, NV - Bloggers in Sin City - Thursday, May 19 - Sunday, May 22
• Seattle, Washington - Late May - Thursday, June 2
• Portland, Oregon - World Domination Summit - Friday, June 3 - Tuesday, June 7
• Los Angeles - Wednesday, June 8 - June 20 (tentative)
• London, UK - early October

Let's hang out!

Fill out the form and I'll be sure to keep you in the loop if/when I get to your side of town :) If your city isn't on the list, please fill out the form anyway! I'm still cooking up ways to get more places...and it will be super helpful to know where you are!

***

P.S. Check out the "Countdown to Launch" widget in my sidebar - 2 months, 1 week baby!!

Kick-off to 2011: Mind-Maps, Passion and Pancakes

As we enter the second week of the new year, I bring you one of my favorite exercises from one of the most creative people I know – Paul Williams of Idea Sandbox. Paul's Pave Your Life Roadmap exercise (more below) is one that I frequently refer to coaching clients and often revisit myself. I blogged about this exercise in 2008, but wanted to remind you all in the spirit of personal exploration and intention-setting for the year ahead. As I mentioned last time, this is one of the most clear, simple (and fun!) approaches to life planning I’ve seen, and I find that no matter how many times I think “I’ve already done that” – I come up with something new.

Summary of steps from the Pave Your Life Roadmap exercise:

1. List Your Passions – Make a list of all the things you are passionate about.
2. Identify Values – Group your passions into themes.
3. Set the Situation – Determine what conditions should exist for you to feel you’re fulfilling your Values.
4. Reveal Action Steps – Identify what daily activities you should be doing to fulfill your Values.
5. Visual Report Card – Draw a graph to visualize and assess your current status. (Don’t worry, no drafting tools required).
6. Take Action / Follow Your Roadmap – Now that you have the keys, get behind the wheel and follow this plan to drive your life.

I've provided two examples as a kick-start for your own process below (check out Paul's website for a full set of his own examples). Even though I did these two years ago, it's surprising how many of my passions/interests remain the same. In fact, I take that as a great sign that the exercise helped me dig deep enough to get to the core of what really matters to me.

Step one: list your passions by making a no-holds-barred, whatever comes to you mind-map. Never done one? Here’s an example of mine from 2008:

You might also check out Wikipedia’s article on Mind Mapping.

Step two: identify values by summarizing key themes. For each value or theme, write “If I had a life filled with _______________, I would . . .” and brainstorm five answers for each.

Here’s my example based on the mind-map above:

A note on Mind Maps and New Years resolutions

Mind maps can be a great way to solve problems, study, set goals and identify priorities. Instead of setting traditional New Years resolutions (though I have nothing against them despite the giant backlash that occurs every year), I create an annual goals mind-map with my friend Liz.

This year marked our third annual mind-mapping/vision session. Each time we do this, we get together over lunch and a pile of colored markers, then outline goals for every area of our lives. We also review our mind-maps from the previous year to celebrate progress.

This year I taped mine to the back of my front door, where I'm creating a vision/idea-board of sorts out of the entire door. When I see things that represent big huge goals, I tape them up to the back of my door (like the coaster from the SoHo House in NYC). I also have a blank sheet of paper with the following open questions: "How can I innovate?", "What problems can I solve?" and "How can I bring my best self into the world?"

For those who are curious, my main goals for this year (different from the larger intentions) are:

• Figure out how to live on both coasts and/or move to NYC for a period of time
• Make a bestseller list!
• Be on The Today Show (or a major morning show)
• Exercise for at least ten minutes per day, 365 days in a row (even if it's just a walk or a short yoga sequence in my living room)
• Develop (semi) passive income streams (launch an online coaching program, e-book, etc)
• Complete my Yoga Teacher Certification (requires teaching 20 group classes and 5 private sessions)
• Stay TV free; keep up the minimal coffee/dairy/meat intake

Of course many of these are GIANT stretch goals, but I say go big or go home, baby! If I try and I fail, I know I will learn a ton in the process. And the side outcomes of pursuing such big things might surprise me :)

Merlin Mann: Stop Blaming the Pancacke

Finally, for a great article on not giving up on goals or resolutions, check-out Merlin Mann's Resolved: Stop Blaming the Pancake. An excerpt:

No matter how good a cook you are, and no matter how hard you try, the first pancake of the batch always sucks. It comes out burnt or undercooked or weirdly shaped or just oddly inedible and aesthetically displeasing.

...And, like clockwork–usually around today or maybe tomorrow–a huge cohort of those cooks will begin to abandon their resolve and go back to thinking all their pancakes have to suck. Just because that first one failed.

...Accept that the first pancake will always suck. Hell, if you’ve never picked up a spatula before, be cool with the fact that your first hundred pancakes might suck. This is, as I’ve said, huge. Failure is the sound of beginning to suck a little less.

How about you -- how do you set big goals and plan for the year ahead? How do you stay motivated even when the first pancake sucks?

***

P.S. I guest-posted at Doniree's blog for her "This is my year to ____" series: jump on over to read more about my year to FLY.

P.P.S. Reminder: I'll be delivering a free 60-minute career strategy webinar this Thursday from 12-1 PST. Join us if you can! Here’s a brief description:

The Ladder is Out — How to Manage Your Career in the Age of the App The era of climbing the ladder as a method of managing your career is out. We are now in the age of the app – everything you need is at your fingertips, fully customizable to your unique career dreams and aspirations. Rather than follow a linear path, learn how to explore, experiment and build a strong foundation that suits your dynamic talents and goals. [Read more and sign-up]

A Manifesto: Dancing with Demons and Finding the Light

I wanted to write a manifesto over the holidays to make the principles that underlie my writing and my life clearer to myself and others. I started making an outline and was going to tell you to take things one day at a time, to stop auditioning for other people's lives and to start doing what you love, because you don't ALWAYS have to pursue your passion full-time. BORING! I gave up after five minutes, feeling totally frustrated and like a giant cliche.

Then I found the following diary entry as I was searching for a submission to the My Diary Unlocked project (whose mission is to share meaningful diary entries to help others live authentically), and in an instant it all became clear.

November 15, 1998 (I had just turned 15)

Dear Diary,

I can't help but write even though I have nothing to say. My overall feeling right now is anxious/nervous butterflies. I feel like I'm slipping away from everything and I'm holding on for dear life; while at the same time trying to do a one-handed push-up. Just to stay on track I have to fight so hard. Journalism, guys, softball, volleyball. I feel so clueless. I feel fat - and like I don't add up; like I have some good qualities but not enough to be anyone worthwhile.

Love, Jenny

Why do I read so many self-help books? Why do I care so deeply about sharing what I learn with you?

Because I don't want any of us to feel that despondent ever again. And if -- by some unfortunate cognitive error or faulty intellectual logic -- we do, I want us to have the tools to fight our way out and thrive. I want us all to live BIG...unapologetic and unafraid. Those of us who survived those tumultuous teen years were (thankfully) born with the ability to pull ourselves out of emotional ruts, but I am fiercely committed to make those tools even easier to find and access as adults.

I want you to know how special you are. I want you to know how loved you are. I want you to feel proud of yourself and proud of your life. I want you to appreciate and feel appreciated. I want you to smile more and dream bigger. I want you to take great leaps; to give yourself a chance to show how brilliant and resilient you really are. I want you to wake up excited and energized for the days ahead. I want you to to feel absolutely exhilarated by the possibility of it all.

Why am I here writing? Why the positive twist on everything? Why the overuse of exclamation marks and smiley faces?

Because I've felt the darkness. I've cried myself to sleep many times in my life, often "without reason" because I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong. Sometimes I still can't. This diary entry reminded me of every night I laid my head on a pillow soaked with tears . . . where writing it all down -- every high and low and tortured thought -- felt like my only salvation.

I was born with an active mind that bounces from dark to light with equal energy; a mind that dances with demons when I'm not careful. Maybe you were too.

So if I can shine some light on your day - help you laugh, feel better, solve a problem, think differently, live bigger - then I have done my job.

Kate Earl captures my sentiments perfectly in the chorus of her song, All I Want. To say I'm obsessed is an understatement.

If I could touch one lonely soul, If I could heal and be so bold To be a spark, to be a light, Set one heart on fire; That's all I ever wanted That's all I want, That's all I ever really wanted.

[youtube id="-aQjd_iBabs"]

***

P.S. Many of you have asked how the Creative Day of New Years Genius turned out -- in short, brilliant! It was a huge success for all involved . . . more to follow soon. One thing I did want to ask right away with all my creative juices flowing:

How can I be most helpful to you this year? What would you love to see on Life After College?

2011: Calling All Dreamers

I feel like I'm on mile 23 of a marathon with the book coming out in less than three months (!!) and now is the time to turn on the burners -- put every minute that I'm not at Google to strategic use. It's a really exciting, motivating feeling to see the finish line up ahead . . . and much to the chagrin of well-meaning great friends hoping to drag me out of the house, nothing will break my focus at this point. I'm also not big on expensive parties or fighting for taxi cabs, so I planned on spending this New Years Eve alone in my condo, working on projects that energize me and that would help set the tone for an uber-creative 2011. Projects that get me so fired up that they don't even feel like work.

I mentioned this casually to a few friends -- New Years orphans who were ambivalent about their existing plans -- and before I knew it, I had four fabulous women in for the count.

Why am I telling you this? Because I have big plans for us in 2011.

Yes, YOU.

Even if you don't nerd-out on New Years Eve like us, I want you to think about a big dream that you might be tiptoeing around, and I want you to join me in 2011 by setting up your own "creative day of greatness." If our New Years bonanza goes well, I plan on hosting many more throughout the year (even virtually).

But you don't have to wait for me, of course. Pick a date and commit to starting that big, hairy, scary project that is crying out for your love and attention. I know you might be afraid, or self-conscious, or unsure if this is the right time or if you have the right idea or if you're the right person to pursue it.

Do it anyway.

Not that you even need it, but I hearby grant you the permission to start even without perfect conditions or all the pieces in place.

Arranging a creative genius day or night also requires properly setting the stage. What would make it the most fabulous, soul-stirring experience EVER? My friend Julie and I brainstormed for tonight and came up with what we think is a great list.

The "Marathon Day of Creative New Years Genius" will entail:

• Morning yoga session (delivered by moi) for anyone who's here early -- we're planning on starting the festivities around 11:00 a.m.
• Writing "sprints" throughout the day on our biggest ideas. We'll try a system where we work for 40 minutes, then chat, share, brainstorm and collaborate for 20 minutes - off and on throughout the day. We'll also set a few goals at the outset about what would be most thrilling to accomplish.
• Piles of magazines & a flip chart to do vision-boarding
• Doing other cool things like taking symbolic action on something that scares us; emailing an author we really respect (hi Martha Beck!)
• Fire in the fireplace, great music playing in the background
• Favorite foods potluck -- pasta, pizza, chips/salsa, green-bean casserole, cupcakes & macaroons -- to name a few
• Prosecco for midnight; we may very well also put on fancy dresses and throw a dance party for the countdown. Good times!

How about you - what would your IDEAL Creative Day of Genius entail?

By the way, I'm serious. I want you to pick a dream of yours - even just a corner of it - and commit to it. Schedule your jump-start session alone or with friends, and start bringing your big ideas to life. Then send me an email to let me know how it goes!

No matter what you find yourself doing tonight, have an amazing time. Cheers -- to dreaming, scheming and greatness for all of us in 2011! :)

***

1:1 Big Goal Brainstorming / Coaching / Genius Hours:

If you are hoping to take your first steps toward a big dream in 2011 and you want some extra accountability and support, get in touch with me. Right now I'm offering sample coaching sessions at 50% off - $50 for 45 minutes of bringing out your inner genius.

I want us all to dream BIG in 2011, and I would love nothing more than to help you start taking baby steps toward your biggest goals. As your coach, I'll help you do big-picture visioning, uncover your values, set specific goals, knock out limiting beliefs or barriers to action, and brainstorm ways to make substantial progress -- all supported by assignments for you to work on between sessions. Nothing gets me more fired up than working with you on making your biggest dreams a reality. Learn more here.

Looking for another great way to kick-off 2011?

Join me for a free 60-minute career strategy webinar with People On-the-Go during the second week of January (hint: one of my first e-books in the making!). Here's a brief description:

The Ladder is Out -- How to Manage Your Career in the Age of the App The era of climbing the ladder as a method of managing your career is out. We are now in the age of the app - everything you need is at your fingertips, fully customizable to your unique career dreams and aspirations. Rather than follow a linear path, learn how to explore, experiment and build a strong foundation that suits your dynamic talents and goals. [Read more and sign-up]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Big love and hugs to all of you :)

Happy 3-Year Blogiversary to Life After College!

It's been a great year here at Life After College. Better than great. SO GREAT that I was going to skip doing this round-up post because it feels self-indulgent, and I much prefer to give you thought-provoking new content.

However, my blog turned three years old this month and without my blog, my life dream of being an author would not be realized. So it's only fair that I celebrate this little corner of the Internet!

By the way - I think blogs age in dog years - 3 years feels like a lifetime...in a good way. I can't even imagine my life without this outlet and the friends and readers I've made because of it.

For more "best of" content: see the Happy Blogiversary posts for Year 1 and Year 2, or check out my shiny brand new "New Here?" guided tour.

Personal Milestones: I am humbled by everything that made the items below possible. I still have to pinch myself, and I only hope that I can give back to the world in equal if not far greater amounts for the gifts I've received.

• March - Attended SXSW for the first time
• June - Got a BOOK DEAL and signed the contracts
• July - Traveled to Brazil for work; Completed my life coaching certification 2.5 years after I started CTI's coach training program. I'm now officially a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC)! Revamped coaching programs coming soon.
• September - Made my first TV appearance in a 30-minute interview for my friend Gopi's Change Makers program.
• October - Completed Yoga Teacher Training at the White Lotus Foundation in Santa Barbara.
• November - sent the book to press after two years of writing and editing
• December - got the first galley copies of my book (Check-out the "collector's edition" cover that serves as a reminder to fight for what you believe in!)
• Other - Completed a one-year term on the Board of Governors for the International Coaches Association, hosted Pam Slim and Chris Guillebeau for Authors@Google talks, delivered coach-training to dozens of senior-level managers and launched a global drop-in 1:1 coaching program at Google - a long-time professional dream in the making.
• More 2010 reflection on travel, memorable moments and highs and lows on my Tumblr for #reverb10.

My favorites and the most popular posts of 2010:

• January - 10 Reasons I Love my Cubicle
• February - SUZE ORMAN KNOWS WE EXIST!!! (Video), and Empty Spaces and Moving Past Loneliness
• March - Domesticating Jaguars: Let's all learn from my crazy dream, Career Development for Gen Y (Video)
• April - Memo: You are not your job, Promotions: 10 Tips for Moving up the Corporate Ladder (Audio), Life is Like a Box of Cupcakes + Outtakes (Video)
• May - What if I was just myself?, My Sandboxed Life, 8 Ways to Organize your Life with Google Docs
• June - Success Demons...and a Signed Contract (+ Video), Guest Post: How I Outsource my Life to Over 13 People
• July - The Sweet Sting of Rejection, 20 Life Lessons I Learned on the Rogue River
• August - Live for the Dip
• September - An Open Letter to Love: It's Not You, It's Me (most commented/re-tweeted post of the year)
• October - Overwhelmed by your inbox? The case for email parties
• November - Book off to press!!! Blogger Speechless, On Limerence...and a Break-up Template
• December - A Letter from my Future Self

Blog Stats:

• Visits - In the last month I received 11,580 visits (20,532 page views) from 110 countries -- up from last year's 7,000+ visits (13,500 page views) from 97 countries. The total visits for 2010 was just over 100,000 uniques (200,000 page views).
• Top Keywords - In 2010, the keyword "life after college" sent 8,773 visits. "Jenny Blake" was the next highest search query with 1,199 visits.
• Quirky keywords (a personal favorite stat) - bad cubicle position, can limerence be broken? (don't I wish!), can you rent a real live jaguar?, do you stop having fun after college?, it's not you it's me letters, I'm too sexy for my cube, limerence is a bitch, running with cupcakes, tell myself I love my job, and possibly my favorite - it hurts to throw away an empty box of Sprinkles cupcakes.
• Best "Jenny Blake" keywords - jenny blake cover model (I'll take it!), jenny blake engagement ring (looks over both shoulders - none here), jenny blake exercise videos (nope, sorry!), jenny blake sexy (okay I like that one), jenny the cat woman secret lives (damnit, I liked the sexy keyword better).
• My most popular content in 2010 (according to Analytics) - 8 ways to organize your life with Google Docs (6,054 pageviews), How I Stay Organized (5,869 pageviews), A Day in the Life of My Paycheck (3,096 pageviews), and the Life Checklist Template (2,576 pageviews). I think many of these made it to StumbleUpon, which really helped drive traffic.
• Most Popular Templates - Four-Step Budget (2,285 users), Professional Development Strategy (2,158 users), Life Checklist (2,255 users), Job Interview One-Sheeter (2,333 users)

Last but certainly not least, THANK YOU.

Thank you for:

• Being here
• Being awesome - the best readers I could ever ask for
• Reading, engaging, commenting
• Making all of this possible

One of my mentors, Chris Guillebeau, often says he gets paid in nice emails. I feel exactly the same way. I am richer every day from amazing reader emails, new friends, community, and gratitude. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

A Letter from my Future Self (#reverb10)

This month I am participating in the #Reverb10 project with 4,000+ other bloggers (read the archive of my entries on my Tumblr); a daily prompt to help people “reflect on this year and manifest what’s next.” I’m also incredibly honored to contribute as an author - today's post is a response to my own prompt:

Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead?

Dear Jenny,

I am so proud of you. You've worked really hard to get where you are, and I want you to relax now. You have so many good things coming, you don't have to work as hard as you think you do. Enjoy your life and watch things unfold, all in perfect time. Time to square your shoulders back, hold your head high, and keep moving through your life with grace and ease. And don't forget to smile!

From my perch five years from now, I can tell you that you will not remember all those little tasks, deadlines and emails you worry about. You've got the small stuff covered. You've accomplished every goal you've ever set and then some. I hope you are as proud of yourself as I am.

Amidst all the external definitions of success, please don't forget to look inward.

A few reminders:

• Take care of yourself. Eat well. Exercise. Get outside. Get plenty of sleep. Rest and remember to spend plenty of time alone. Put yourself first so that you can share your best gifts with the world.
• Be nicer to yourself. Weighing ten pounds less does not make you a better or more interesting person. Weighing ten or twenty pounds more does not make you unloveable. For every day or every moment you criticize yourself, you are cheating yourself out of your fullest joy.
• Face some hard truths. You will hit rough patches. You will have more "lowest moments of your life." Again you will find yourself feeling dark and depressed. Again you will find yourself going to sleep fully clothed because you cannot muster the emotional energy to get undressed. These moments always turn out to be your best teachers. These are the moments that will help you serve others in new, extraordinary ways.
• Let people in. You will know when the time is right. When it is, let go. Let yourself love with abandon. You don't have to protect yourself so much. You will still be able to take care of yourself if and when these relationships end, and they will have given you new perspectives on life.
• Forgive yourself. It's time to stop carrying all that guilt. That you could have been nicer, more accommodating, more supportive, more generous, more selfless; that you could have given more time and attention - or even more love. The past is in the past, and you are doing the very best you can. The very best does not mean perfect. It is okay if you aren't perfect -- none of us are.
• Live your life on your own terms. Stop looking for everyone's approval. Stop living in fear that if you say or do the wrong thing, you will lose people forever. If that happens, it wasn't meant to be. Stop auditioning for other people's lives and embrace yourself, exactly as you are.
• A note on judging others. It is so easy to do - we all do it. But be careful who you judge, what you turn your nose up to, and the opinions you rally behind without questioning. They almost always come back to teach you a lesson by giving you the very experience that you were so quick to judge. Treat others with respect, compassion and an open-mind at every possible moment.
• You are capable of so much more than you even realize. We all are. You have infinite power at your fingertips and it's just waiting for you to engage it. Take those risks you are afraid of taking. Trust yourself. You've gotten yourself this far in your life -- keep going. Even more greatness lies ahead if you can just take the leap, even in those moments where you can't see the other side yet. Dream even bigger! Reach for the stars - they are waiting for you.
• Soak it up, baby! Whew - this is heavy stuff. Remember not to take yourself too seriously! Lighten up, laugh, have fun, be young, sing and dance your heart out. Celebrate! Be thankful for all of your gifts and blessings. Honor them by letting yourself experience bliss at every opportunity. Let the bliss grow and expand. Sprinkle gold dust around everyone and everything you can see.

I know you know this, because you've said it before -- you already have everything you need. Time to stop chasing and start embracing. I have no doubt you will do it with flying colors. You already have.

Oodles of love and cupcakes*, Jenny

---

*P.S. Yes. That is ACTUALLY a picture of a french-toast bacon cupcake.

---

P.P.S. Pictures and highlights from the recent trip to New York City:

I had the absolute time of my life in New York City last week, and plan on returning as often as I possibly can in 2011. Highlights: singing at the top of my lungs to "All I Want For Christmas is You" with my friend Julie in Toritilla Flats while watching Monday Night football, doing Yoga at 4am with a new friend in the Standard Gym, Wednesday's cupcake tweet-up (see below), meeting up with Gabrielle Bernstein at The SoHo House for coffee and her wise author wisdom, celebrating Ann's 40th with all of her wonderful friends and family at Cuba, and buying the 12-cupcake sampler pack from Crumbs for immediate consumption in The Standard Lounge one snowy afternoon.

Here are a few pictures that capture some of the fun:

Cupcake tweet-up at Eleni's in Chelsea Market with amazing blogger ladies (so fabulous that a random passer-by asked for my business card because we "were so inspiring!"). From left to right: Top row - Monique Johnson, Chloe Tashjian, Teresa Wu, Me, Sam Karol, ChaChanna Simpson; Bottom row - Lissy Carr, Allie Mahler, Ginny Becker and Diana Antholis.

Here's a picture of me and Ann (my NYC Angel) before her birthday party:

Me and Julie at Tortilla Flats:

Can't wait to see what those of you participating in #reverb10 reply to today's prompt! And much love and gratitude to the #reverb10 team: Cali, Kaileen & Gwen.

The Personal MBA: Interview & Book Giveaway

I have a confession. When people ask me why I started Life After College five years ago, I tell them it's because I felt lost and lonely at age 20 and wanted to help other graduates get on their feet faster. But there's another reason too. I thought I needed to start a business so that I could get into business school (run my life according to the mysterious admissions office gods...great plan, huh?), so I launched this website two years before it became a blog. I've never told anyone that because I don't want to take away from the passion I feel for helping others, and I'm somewhat embarrassed by the less-than-pure beginning.

I felt like business school would give me some magic credibility, validity and career success. But after I bought 4 GMAT/MBA books that I didn't even crack open ONCE in the span of a year, I realized I couldn't stomach going into $150K of debt just for a degree that I wasn't sure would deliver what I was wanting.

Enter Josh Kaufman and his The Personal MBA project. Josh has a blog and book that provide comprehensive business-education resources to help people "master the art of business without mortgaging [their] lives."

I've had the pleasure of interviewing Josh, and am excited to announce another book giveaway! Leave a comment below by Thursday, 12/23 and I will select a winner using Random.org to receive a copy of The Personal MBA.

Interview with Josh Kaufman

Many of my readers are twenty-somethings and recent college grads. What would you advise those who are on the fence about getting an MBA? What about those who don't really feel like they need one, but feel pressure (from parents or society) to get that extra credential?

Save your money - you can do much better by investing a little time learning the basics on your own. Research indicates that getting an MBA doesn't really help you in the long run, and getting an MBA can be enormously expensive, particularly if you attend a top school. On top of the direct expense, student loans restrict your freedom and flexibility in ways that severely limit your options. All told, the very limited potential benefits aren't worth the massive risks - particularly if you're interested in starting your own business.

Getting an education and obtaining a credential are entirely different things. You don't need a credential to do well in business, since there are no legal requirements that force you to get a credential before getting started. Your customers don't care whether or not you have a degree if you can give them what they need or want.  Provide enough value to people who want what you have enough to pay for it, and you'll do quite well, degree or no degree.

You do, however, need a world-class education if you want to do well in business. Fortunately, you can learn what you need to know on your own, without mortgaging your life in the process.

If you're feeling pressure from other people to obtain a credential, it helps to remember that they aren't living your life. You owe it to yourself to figure out what you want, and the best way to go about getting it. Other people may have opinions, but they're just that - opinions. Ultimately, you live with the consequences of your actions, so make your own decisions.

I often use the phrase, "If you're not learning, you are obsolete." How do you hope to change the business-related learning game with this book?

My goal is to help people interested in business learn the essentials - the very small set of ideas they need to understand in order to do great work. I call these ideas "business mental models," and my job is to help you learn them as quickly as possible.

As it turns out, the 80/20 principle applies to learning too. Learn the 5% of concepts that provide 95% of the value of business study, and you'll do quite well. Once you know the fundamentals, you can go surprisingly far, whether you're staring your own company or doing great work for someone else. My book is designed to teach those fundamentals.

Most people assume business is complicated, and as a result, they find it difficult to get started. The wonderful truth is that business isn't complicated - it's just not taught very well, so it's intimidating. Business isn't rocket science, but you do have to know what businesses really are and how they really work if you want to do well.  Once you've mastered the essentials, you're in good shape.

If you could give the Life After College community one piece of encouragement or career advice, what would it be? Experiment constantly - there's no faster way to learn. Side projects, diligently pursued, can benefit you more than even the best degree. If you have an idea for a business, figure out how to start making progress on the side, using your own resources. Speed and flexibility are your friends - just keep making little improvement to discover what works.

The Personal MBA started as a side project - I wanted to learn how to do well in business, so I started learning in my spare time. Six years later, I'm a professional business teacher with clients all over the world, I have no debts, I have the freedom to live however and wherever I want, and I've published my first book... all because I decided to start a crazy side project, experimented constantly, and stuck with it for years. Without experimenting, none of these things would've occurred, and my life would be very different.

What has been your biggest failure-turned-success or blessing-in-disguise story (in life or business)? A little over a year ago, I decided to offer my first business course. I thought that bringing a group of people with similar goals to learn and discuss important business concepts via phone would do very well.  I prepared my launch materials, published them, and waited for the signups to roll in.

Radio silence... nothing. In the end, only one person signed up after a week of promotion. My expectations were high, so I was devastated.

After recovering from the disappointment, I tried to figure out why it flopped - so I asked my readers. As it turns out, people were interested in the learning part - they just didn't think they'd be able to commit to meeting regularly at certain times, so they didn't sign up. That was a Barrier to Purchase I could fix.

Two weeks later, I launched the Personal MBA Business Crash Course. It was the same learning material, with a different structure - an online video course that my students could take at their own pace, no matter where they lived around the world.

Almost immediately, over 200 people signed up - far better than I expected.  Since then, the course has developed into a very active and dedicated community of business learners from around the world, and is a cornerstone of my business education company.

Keep experimenting, and you'll inevitably find something that works. In a very real sense, there's no such thing as failure - just experiments that provide you with more data to use in the next iteration.

To enter to win the book giveaway: leave a comment below by Thursday, 12/23 and I will select a winner using Random.org to receive a copy of The Personal MBA.

***

On a related note: want to network without the pain of small-talk?

Brazen Careerist's Network Roulette is one of the most innovative developments I've seen recently in the networking space. You can sign into Brazen Careerist and get paired up with a new person to chat with for three minutes at a time. If you enjoyed talking to each other, it's easy to send a follow-up note afterward.

Ryan also recently announced a daily lunch hour (12EST, 9PST) called Community Karma to "make sure everyone gets the help that they need through 3-minute conversations with me and other community leaders on Brazen Careerist." I highly recommend trying a Network Roulette or the daily karma hour - it's a great way to meet a lot of people with similar interests in a short amount of time!

10 Questions to Help You Stop Thinking and Start DOING (with template!)

This post is going to be absolutely worthless to you if you don't actually take action (hence, the title). If you're busy or not interested in taking at least 10 minutes to reflect and answer some questions about something you care about, feel free to skip it, star it, or come back later. For those of you still with me: start by grabbing a pen and paper or use the handy template I created for this post.

Now for some context: this is a re-post from Elysa Rice's December’s Top Tens in 2010 Series. There are tons of great bloggers submitting posts on everything from de-stressing to reasons you don't need a new job. I highly recommend you give GenPink (and the series) a visit -- especially since Elysa is an all-around awesome person and GenY blogging pioneer.

10 Questions to help you stop thinking and start DOING

Close your eyes for a minute and think of a problem, a tough decision or a big question that you are weighing and would like an answer to. Set aside 15-30 minutes to reflect on the questions below, either in your head or on paper (I use Google Docs — and even created a template for you). You might also focus on one question each day or week – let each one ruminate over time, then jot down notes as various responses pop up.

Do you have a topic yet?

You might be tempted to just skim this post and pretend you have a topic, even though you know it’s fuzzy and you’re just sort of going through the motions (we all do it). Before you keep going, really think of something. Don’t keep reading until you have a topic or idea in mind that is so-big-it’s-scary (but also exciting).

Now for the fun part - let's get to work!

1. When you think of [topic], what are you most excited about?
2. How does this [topic] fit in with your vision of your highest self?
3. What is your goal in this area? Now double it. What is the version of the goal that is so big you are afraid to admit (even to yourself) for fear of failure?
4. What’s holding you back / What are you afraid of?
5. What support do you need to move forward?
6. What one next step would make the biggest impact to move your forward (or help with your decision)?
7. What would achieving this get you?
8. Close your eyes and ask each major decision-making system for advice: What does your head say? What does your heart say? What does your gut say? How can you reconcile the three? (Okay so I cheated and combined four questions in one)
9. Dig even deeper. What do you really want?
10. What are you waiting for?

After you’ve reflected on the questions above, take a minute to answer the bonus million dollar question:

Based on your answers above, what are you willing to take ACTION on in the next week? Leave your answer in the comments below!

***

The Anti-Resume - Career Development Video Interview:

Mike Krass is hosting a great interview series on his blog, The Anti Resume, in which I discuss career development tips and pitfalls. Some of the questions covered in the ~15 minute video (full transcript also available):

• Given your work with the website and what you have done professionally at Google, what is your take on career development?
• If you don’t have a team or are in between jobs, how can you guide the goals you want to set to help you take steps to get where you want to go career wise?
• As to what you have done professionally and with your personal work, what is one piece of advice that you would give to positively influence someone’s career choices?
• What is one piece of advice that would negatively influence someone’s career decisions?
• What is one great tactic you would suggest to use to successfully build relationships?

Click here to watch and share your thoughts!

E-Book: You Don't Need a Job, You Need Guts

I am so excited to share the love this morning for my friend Ashley Ambirge who launched her 127-page baby into the world. A ballsy, audacious, in-your-face, rock-star E-Book called You Don't Need a Job, You Need Guts. Note: I am an affiliate, but I would NEVER promote something I didn't believe in 150% and think would be an awesome resource for all of you. I am very selective with what I share, and this made the cut without question.

As I mentioned in my December Hodge Podge, Ashley is one of the bloggers I most respect and admire. She lost BOTH of her parents and can only rely on herself for support. When I complain about being busy, I forget that there are amazing women like Ashley in the world for whom being busy is probably the very least of her concerns.

Ashley hails from Pennsylvania but currently lives in Santiago, Chile -- following her dreams and working her ass off to make a living and inspiring countless others in the process.

Every time I read one of her posts, I want to stand up and start a slow clap. Then maybe throw a few fist-pumps, then raise a lemon-drop martini to toast Ashley in all her fabulous, brash, no-holds-barred glory.

I bought her e-book this morning within seconds of it landing in my inbox, and I'm already hooked.

A description (in Ash's own words) for those of you who might be interested:

RED HOT, FIERY PASSION. SOUL SHAKINGLY GOOD WORK THAT MATTERS. POTENTIAL. POWER. PRESENCE. PIZAZZ. AND MONEY, BABY. MONEY.

You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts is a devilishly sassy digital publication that teaches how to stop surrendering your soul to the rat race and instead, create a meaningful, delightfully unapologetic career based around YOU + YOUR INTERESTS by leveraging the web + harnessing the magnetic power of authentic passion, guts & glory.

You demand more from life. You crave more than a fatally boring routine. You want to do work that feels good. You want to be you, exactly as you are. And, for once, have that be enough. Better yet, you want to get paid for it.

If this gets you as fired up as it did me, grab your own copy for $24.

***

P.S. Speaking of guts and big dreams -- I'm also thrilled to announce that two of my best boys Nate (of ItStartsWith.Us) and J-Money (of Budgets Are Sexy) have launched an amazing project called Love Drop to help people "change lives, one dollar at a time." In their own words:

Love Drop is a micro-giving network of people who unite as a community to help one person or family a month. By subscribing to the team for as low as $1, we make it easy for our members to change lives in a fun and tangible way. Each month Love Drop delivers a unique combination of unexpected financial gifts, personal encouragement and the support of local and online communities.

I'm in. Are you? Click here to join the team!

A Delicious December Hodge-Podge

Grab a cup of coffee, this is a long one! Many of my blogging counterparts have a weekly series where they round-up their work and link to great posts from others: Friday Linky Love, Writing Around the Webb, and Fresh Finding Fridays to name a few. As much as I admire their consistency and commitment, I have fun doing mine completely randomly and giving them a new name every time (Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself, Crock Pots, Links Galore, and Miscellaneous Musings). What I'm really trying to say is that I don't have nearly the self-discipline to post these regularly. And yes, I also have commitment issues.

Change Makers TV Interview - Video Now on YouTube! (~30 minutes)

I was honored to be a guest on Gopi's local TV show -- during which I talk about blogging, the book, career advice, and even my dating life (which led to a guy jumping out from behind a car as I was leaving...alone...at night...to ask me out...after he watched the interview from the sound room...and continued to beg ask as I politely said no at least five times. FML.)

One note before you watch: my book is called Life After College: The Complete Guide to Getting What You Want, not "The Complete Guide to a Perfect Life," which I would not claim to have or advise others to strive for. The real beauty of life is in imperfection, which is also what makes a slight verbal typo perfectly okay with me. :) {RSS/email readers: Click here to watch}

Two interviews with fabulous women: Betty Jean Bell and Tia Singh

Audio interview with Betty Jean Bell of Love Your Work Life - It only took five minutes on the phone with Betty Jean for me to feel like I was instantly talking with one of my best friends. Her passion and energy is absolutely contagious! Take a listen to the ~25 minute podcast or click here to download the mp3, where I talk about my blog, the book, the quarter-life crisis, and pursuing big goals. Head on over to Love Your Work Life (and check out her adorable Christmas header!) to learn more about Betty Jean and her network of coaches.

Written interview with Tia Singh for her Live Your Life YOUR Way series - Tia is another coach extraordinaire who I met through Twitter. She literally sparkles (as her Twitter handle suggests), and we have quickly bonded over our emoticon abuse (exclamation mark, anyone?!?!!) and our love for helping others flourish. I was so honored to be featured in her series, and very touched by her wonderful introduction. Read more here.

Both of these ladies are giving a way a free copy of my book, so head on over and comment to enter!

#Reverb10 - I'm participating and have an author prompt on Dec. 21 -- wuhoo!

I'm excited to be participating in the #Reverb10 project with many other bloggers. It's a daily prompt to help people "reflect on this year and manifest what's next." I'm also incredibly honored to contribute an author prompt (author bios here) - look out for me on Dec. 21, baby!

I'll be answering the prompts on my Tumblr so I don't annoy you with daily posts -- here is a sneak preview of my first post:

2011: This next year will be the year of FREEDOM. Freedom from shoulds, cant’s, have-tos and obligations. I want 2011 to be the year of trusting my gut, listening to my intuition, and making decisions that are nothing short of SOUL-STIRRING. {Read more here}

Awesome links elsewhere - most definitely worth checking-out:

• Ashley Ambirge (of The Middle Finger Project) - The 67 Emotions of Online Success - heartbreaking, moving, inspiring, incredibly touching. Must read. Ashley is one of the writer's I most look-up to -- I am blown away by her posts every single time.
• Tyler Vooren's post 30 Surprisingly Difficult Ways to Be Extraordinary and his Top Secret Advanced Riskology Support Team Exposed (I share many of the same mentors/friends/role models).
• Leo Babauta's FREE 121-page Focus book - I'm a little late to the game on this one (he released it last month while I was in yoga heaven), but this book is AWESOME. And did I mention free?
• An inspirational speech (transcribed) from my "most amazing life coach ever" Ruth Ann Harnisch - Six Things I Learned in Six Months of Doing Nothing.
• Scott Stratten’s TEDx talk, Keep Going Until We Stop - Scott shares his realization that "being a big deal isn't a big deal" and shares his deeply moving stories about how he "just kept going" no matter how tough (and tragic) life got. He also learns the important lesson that "we need to STOP so that we CAN keep going." The passion and emotion he speaks with is unparalleled.
• Everett Bogue's 1 Simple Strategy to Save $2,000 this Holiday Season and Make Everyone Love You Forever. Love the audacity with which he opens the post. And I'm so IN on reducing needless spending/gifting pressure.
• Diggy (of Upgrade Reality) - 24 Things I've Learned in 24 Years - very wise words and great reminders. I would have put together a very similar list!
• My friend and fellow coach Scott Asai (based in LA) recently put together a promotional video for his services - it's a great way to learn more about coaching (and get in touch) if you are interested.

A follow-up note to my June post, Serendipity and the Art of Being Alone

Some of you may remember my story earlier this year about spending the weekend alone in New York City after existing plans fell through. While shoe shopping, I met a woman named Ann - an amazing lawyer who had a house built for herself in Italy (with her own hard-earned dream fund).

We ended up going to lunch then dancing on booths together at Bagatelle Bistrot in our new Louboutins -- girl power at its finest! I later dubbed Ann "my NYC angel" and she calls me Jenny From the Rock (as in Alcatraz).

While in NYC this week I'm attending Ann's big 40th birthday bash to help her celebrate in style. Living proof that random meetings can turn into beautiful friendships...and a reminder to get out there, be yourself, keep going when life throws a curve-ball, embrace surprises and be open to the beautiful art of serendipity.

Where in your life are you pounding on unlocked doors?

It's as if you're pounding on the massive doors of the kingdom of your wildest dreams. At first lightly, even respectfully, then, losing patience, louder and louder. You pray. You plead. You beg. You ask. You cry. You wail. And just on the other side of the door, your faithful, adoring subjects silently writhe, some quietly crying, all intensely feeling your frustration and loneliness. Yet they remember all too well how, on the day you left, you made them swear not to ever open the door, so that you might discover for yourself...

...that it was left unlocked.

I hate when that happens, The Universe (Mike Dooley of Tut.com)

I read this quote in Dooley's book, Manifesting Change*, earlier this week and I haven't been able to forget it. After sharing this note, Dooley asks, "What doors have you been pounding on?" Which got me thinking about some questions for all of us.

I urge you to take five minutes to close your eyes (well, after reading) and really think about the following:

• Are you missing the obvious - the unlocked door - in any problems you are facing?
• Where in your life are you trying to force changes that you might not be ready for?
• Where are you straining with all your might without getting any results?
• Where might it be time for a different, softer, more trust-based approach?
• In what ways is the door - the world you so desire - already here, in front of you?

It might take you a few days (or weeks) to answer these questions...but start by becoming aware of the doors you might be (unnecessarily) pounding on and let me know what you find out.

A Personal Example:

I can definitely say that ever since I posted the Open Letter to Love, I've felt completely free and clear of relationship worries. I immediately felt the weight of the world lifted -- I became so relaxed and happy, and I haven't looked back since. It feels so good to openly declare to the world that I am going to stop straining for something that just isn't meant to be right now.

In fact, I would be hard pressed to even commit to a relationship if one came around! After I posted the letter, one friend was concerned that I was just giving up, but my decision to walk away from trying to "law of attract" a relationship (bleh) has helped me embrace my own life and dreams more fully than I ever have.

The minute I stopped pounding down the door o' looove I found true FREEDOM. I let out -- as my yoga teacher says -- "a loud sighing AHHHhhhhhhhhhh." I get a big smile on my face just thinking about it. :)

Your turn for a public declaration - what unlocked doors will you stop pounding down?

***

*I don't really recommend the book if you're looking for "starter" self-help - it's a little too out there in parts - but I love (and always get a great laugh out of) Dooley's daily Notes from the Universe emails. For a list of my favorite development books, check out my fancy schmancy Amazon store or follow my reviews on GoodReads.

On Limerence...and - wait for it - a break-up processing template. You heard me.

Yep, I've gone and templateized getting over someone. Don't judge me. More on that in a few minutes. First, a lesson and some thoughts on a crazy emotional love-related roller-coaster called Limerence. What is Limerence? Hint: if Love and Lust had a baby...

If Love and Lust had a baby, they would name her Limerence. Limerence is a little crazy. She is wildly optimistic, hopeful, and obsessive. From Wikipedia:

Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship (although it can further intensify the situation). The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the ultimate, near-obsessive form of romantic love. Limerence is sometimes also referred to as infatuation, or is colloquially known as a crush, but in reality it is something much different.

Does that sound familiar? Have you ever experienced limerence? Reflecting on that question was like asking myself, "Do you breathe?!"

Earlier this year, my dad could see that I was love-struck over a boy I couldn't really have. Instead of lecturing, judging or advising, he simply wrote the name of a book on an index card. That index card and book, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love by Dorothy Tenov, changed everything for me.

This is your brain. This is your brain on Limerence.

When we fall in lovelikelust (aka limerence) with someone, it's almost like our limerent brain becomes a form of the lizard brain. If the lizard brain's currency is fear, the limerent brain's currency is fantasy. Sometimes we have fun living in fantasyland...but not when it becomes a torture chamber representing everything we want but can't have.

It is inherent to the definition of limerence that the object of our affection - the romance of our dreams - is unattainable. Which is what makes limerence very different from love. Love is shared and reciprocated and eventually grows and develops into something real. Elisa breaks down the limerence experience beautifully in a post called Limerence and Licorice.

Components of Limerence (from Wikipedia):

• Limerence involves intrusive thinking about the limerent object.Other characteristics include acute longing for reciprocation, fear of rejection, and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence. In cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object.
• Feelings of limerence can be intensified through adversity, obstacles, or distance. A limerent person may have acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably. This may include a tendency to devise, fabricate, or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.
• A person experiencing limerence has a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background. In their thoughts, a limerent person tends to emphasize what is admirable in the limerent object and to avoid any negative or problematic attributes.

What if you are Limerent and it is making you miserable, but you can't move on?

Tennov doesn't really answer this question in her book. She essentially throws her hands in the air and says, "beats me!"

I think the only way to counter the limerent brain's pining is to ask, "What is REAL?" over and over again:

• What are the FACTS?
• How do I actually FEEL, averaged out, over the course of recent days and weeks and months?
• Finally, how can I act from a place of inner integrity based on TRUTH, not based on what-ifs?

Enter the Break-up Template!

My next book will clearly be a "quit the CRACK that is limerence" how-to manual. You know, just as soon as I learn how to conquer that crazy beast in its strongest moments.

This template is an exercise from my upcoming book (mark your calendar for March 29, baby!). If you are going through a break-up or still trying to get over someone, the questions in this template will help you sort through your thoughts, mourn your losses, and start to see your situation more clearly.

Download the template here (and forward to a friend or give 'er a rating if you like what you see!).

I want to hear from you. If you found this template helpful, would you let me know? Did I miss anything? How do you handle break-ups? Any limerence-busting tips?

***

All You Need is Love E-Book - Now Available!

Speaking of Love and Limerence, my dear friend Elisa just released her free "All You Need" e-book, a compilation of posts in which 28 bloggers pontificated on love (myself included) back in February. Download your copy by hopping over to Elisa's latest post here.

Happy Turkey Day!

To all of my American readers -- have a wonderful Thanksgiving!! For those living in other countries, I promise to eat a few extra cupcakes for you :)

Book off to press!!! Blogger speechless.

I DID IT!!!

WE DID IT!!!

Holy shit. (Yes, I just swore on my blog. No, I don't do it often. Yes, it's because I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor.)

In three years of blogging, I have never posted two days in a row. But yesterday's post is 100% trumped by the fact that Life After College: The Complete Guide to Getting What You Want went to press yesterday!!! And yes - that is the Amazon link to my book!!!

This is crazy.

It has felt exciting, scary and incredibly vulnerable to have an idea that is 100% my own and defend and build that vision from start to finish, page to page, and from corner to every corner of the cover.

Am I using the right words? Am I sharing enough? Is my vision actually what is best for my readers? Will anyone like it? Am I fighting for the right things to keep or change? With every micro-decision there was a point where I just had to take a shot in the dark, listen to my gut, trust myself and decide. And stand behind it.

Now it just feels surreal.

I cannot believe that the project I have developed...toiled over...loved, danced and fought with...worked and reworked into oblivion over countless nights and weekends - is DONE. The book is done.

My focus for the last two years (at least the content creation and editing part of it) is done. My tiny, shy little seedling of an idea is all grown up, and justlikethat I've closed an open loop in my brain that tells me to get back to work to make this thing the best I possibly can. Above all else it feels like my life dream - my purpose - my desire to inspire as many 20-somethings as I possibly can with practical exercises, tips and quotes - is happening.

NONE OF THIS would be happening without you. None of it. I don't even have enough words to thank you properly. If you weren't here reading, supporting Life After College, giving me feedback, showing your support on Ryan's list of Top 10 Gen Y blogs, commenting, sticking around, and celebrating with me on Twitter and Facebook, there would be no book. Period.

I hope you know how important are.

To be honest, it doesn't even feel like my book. It feels like our book. I'm so excited I could cry. In a good way this time.

***

If you want the FULL nitty gritty book details beyond what I share on this blog (including helpful writing-related links and resources) sign-up for my monthly(ish) “inside scoop” book newsletter or click here to read the archives.