Who is your hero and when are you going to meet them?

Written by Davis Nguyen

“If you could have dinner with any living person who would it be?”

I enjoy asking this question, because the answer tells me a lot about the person I’m asking: qualities they admire, their interests, and the type of person they might want to be.

When the question is asked of me, I usually reply with the author of the book I am reading at the time. No matter the book I was reading, my asker would always leave with an answer and I was left with another question:

“Why aren’t I meeting these people I admire so much?”

Most of the time the excuse I used to justify my inaction was,

“Why would someone like X want to talk to me?”

The Journey (and failures) begins

In January 2013, I sat in my dorm room and brainstormed a list of people I admired, from close friends to people who didn’t even know I existed. I called my list the “Dream 500.”

I decided that 2013 was going to be the year I faced one of my biggest fears: reaching out to people I thought were “too accomplished”, “too famous”, or “too good” for me. I turned my “500 dreams” into goals.

That was thirteen months ago.

The results?

• Dead-ends connections: 215
• Unread/Un-replied emails: 104
• Declined invitations: 23
• Accepted Skype conversations: 21
• Accepted invitations to speak at Yale: 10
• Internship offers: 4
• Five A.M. in person meetups: 3
• All-expense paid trips to meet my role model: 2
• Offer to join Life After College team: 1
• Start-ups founded: 1
• Lessons learned on relationship-building: enough for a lifetime

I list my results not to brag (or mention how often I fail at stuff), but to demonstrate that meeting your heroes is possible. As a first-generation college student who grew up in a poor community in Georgia, I had no connections and no one taught me how to “network.” All I had was my grit and willingness learn by failing.

What I found was that it is not about where you started, what you have (or don’t have), or your age. What does matter is your approach and mindset.

Through my successes and many…MANY failures, I learned a lot about forming and maintaining relationships.

Five lessons really stood out to me, which I applied when I first came into contact with Jenny Blake.

How to Approach YOUR Dream 500

1. “People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care”

Why do you want to reach out to this person? If your answer is so they could help you with X or Y, then you’re headed for failure. Everyone values their own time.

Think of all the emails, letters, and request for help Jenny must get. If she spent her time replying to all the request she wouldn’t have the time to do what makes her Jenny Blake.

Instead of asking what the other person can do for you, ask what you can do for the other person.

 When Marisol and I reached out to Jenny in the summer, we wanted to see how we could most help Jenny. At the time, Jenny was developing and refining a talk she called, “Career in the Age of the App.” Being college juniors we knew a lot of students would love to hear advice from someone like Jenny. The students would gain valuable advice, Jenny would get to give her workshop as a Master’s Tea at Yale, and we could get to meet Jenny. We emailed her and described our proposal, and let her know that she would join the likes of Morgan Freeman, Bill Clinton, and others who have been a part of a Master’s Tea at Yale.

While the Yale name did help, what was even more useful was that we were long-time readers of Life After College. We followed Jenny and knew what was important to her and the LAC community.  I never contact anyone without doing my research. You wouldn’t go into a job interview without researching about the company and their needs, why would you do it for people?

2. Make it easy for them to connect with you

Continuing from Lesson 1, Make Life Easy for the person you want to reach out to. Respect their time. Things such as keeping your email short and to the point or going out of your way to be helpful makes the person infinitely more likely to want to connect with you.

Marisol and I made it as easy as possible for Jenny to want to speak at Yale. We applied for funds for her trip, found a place for her to stay, organized the workshop space, marketed the event to students, and arranged a private dinner afterwards. All Jenny had to do was show up and be herself.

3. Follow-up, follow-up, and continue to follow-up

Why make a connection if you aren’t going to keep it?

After Jenny left, Marisol and I both followed up to personally thank Jenny and we continued to keep in contact with her. In December, Jenny mentioned needing help at LAC. A few phone calls later and here Marisol and I are here writing for the community we grew up being a part of.

4. Rejection teaches and Persistence pays

Yeah, I hate rejection too, but I find that as much I hate it, rejection has taught me at least as much as success has. Each email that went unreplied or unopened, I forced myself to change how I approached contacting my role models. With time my rejection rate went down and my success rate up.

At Yale there are 12 residential colleges (our dorms) each with their own master. Part of my list of role models were the 12 Masters at Yale. A year ago, I only knew my own college master, but not any of the other 11. I reached out to each and every one of them asking to meet. One of them was Master K of Silliman College. It took me 5 emails and 3 rescheduling before Master K and I had our first meeting. We hit it off. A few months later, when Marisol and I were looking for funding and a place for Jenny to stay, it was Master K who first popped in our minds. She quickly said yes and the rest was history.

5. Be Genuine – be you

I was going to put this first, but according to research we remember best the last item on a list. During the entire time I’ve known Jenny and the other amazing role models I’ve met this year (Susan Cain, Keith Ferrazzi, Pam Slim, etc.), I have always been myself and shown genuine interest in what is going on in their lives and helping them succeed.

If you don’t have genuine interest in the person with whom you are connecting with, then please stop. You are wasting your time, and theirs.

At the root of any successful relationship (business, family, romantic) is a sincere care for the other person’s well-being, success, and happiness.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments:

If you could meet anyone in the world who would it be? What is one step you could take towards making that happen?

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About Davis Nguyen

Davis (@IamDavisNguyen) graduated from Yale University in 2015. He currently lives in San Francisco and works at Bain & Company. When he’s not helping CEOs transform their companies, he is helping recent graduates figure out the type of life they want for themselves and helping them get there.

The Team Grows! Introducing Marisol & Davis

As Life After College enters it's seventh year of blog life, I'm excited to expand the team a bit further this year, but with very focused, intentional growth. Not to be confused with other mega career hubs with dozens of contributors, Life After College is still a small family . . . hand-picked with love! Last year I brought on Paul and Melissa, who knocked it outta the park with posts like 7 Habits of Highly Miserable 20-Somethings and Success in Different Shades; this year we add two more awesome team members to help with Content & Community Management.

Introducing Marisol and Davis!

I'm thrilled to introduce you to Marisol and Davis, two Yale seniors who hosted me for a Masters Tea on campus back in November. They're brilliant, passionate, motivated, and both long-time LAC readers. One thing led to another, and now they'll be helping to shepherd Life After College into it's next phase!

Melissa, Paul and I ("the alumni") will continue writing once a month from our - ahem - more seasoned 30-something perspective, and Marisol and Davis ("the senior class") will bring in a fresh perspective for recent grads.

A few more updates: Newsletters & RSS

• We've revamped the LAC Newsletter to be a short curated list of our recent posts and favorite career, money, and happiness content from around the web. View the most recent issue here and hit "subscribe" in the upper left if you're interested.

• The LAC RSS feed has recently been updated; click here to add the feed if it's not in your reader (I use Feedly).

• If you're specifically interested in my life and work updates, those have officially moved over to the JennyBlake.me behind-the-business newsletter, where I'll be talking about business, creativity, entrepreneurship, career change, travel and ninja-level systems and tools. 

And now, a little more about each of our new team members . . . 

About Davis Nguyen

Davis Nguyen

Rejection is a hobby . . . at least if you’re Davis Nguyen. He believes that rejection and failure are just normal parts of life, but they should never paralyze you from pursuing your goals. Davis is not timid about cold-emailing people he admires for advice, asking for a discount at the Supermarket, or approaching strangers to ask them to “pick a card.” Because you never know who might say “yes."

Each rejection is a step towards success. Davis received over 200 scholarship rejections while applying for college, but along the way, he also earned enough “yeses” that are allowing him to graduate debt-free.

In 2013, he joined the Quiet Revolution with Susan Cain, his hero and role model, and her business partner to change how the world views introversion; incidentally, Susan and Davis met after a cold-email exchange.

Davis dreams of being a bestselling author, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and GQ cover model (the last one being the most important…obviously). In his free time, Davis enjoys going to the gym, reading his weight in books, having long meals with friends, watching romantic comedies, traveling, learning new card tricks, playing poker, and of course, seeing how many new ways he can be rejected.

Davis writes about improving social confidence at Speak for the Meek. You can reach him at davis.duong.nguyen [at] gmail.com or by following him on Twitter @speakforthemeek.

About Marisol Dahl

Marisol Dahl

Marisol is currently a Sociology and Education Studies major at Yale University. A longtime New Yorker, she is interested in pursuing a career in education and child advocacy.

Marisol is a board member of the Leadership Institute at Yale, acting as director of a leadership education program for undergraduates. She is also a proud member of Kappa Kappa Gamma, serving as the 2013 Zeta Xi chapter treasurer and as the 2014 Vice President of Organization.

Marisol started her blog in 2011 as a way to document her college years and beyond. When not running around campus and catching up with her school reading, she enjoys spending time with her family, reading dystopian fiction and volunteering in her community.

She can be reached on Twitter at @marisoldahl.

A Video Hello from Both

Their 4-minute video hello gave me a big smile — don't miss the bloopers starting around 2:50!

[youtube id="DHp1I6zJklY"]

Please help give Marisol and Davis a warm welcome to the LAC Team!

In the Midst of a Major Career Change? Modify this Email Template and Send it to Your Network

Anyone who has made a major career change knows it can be an overwhelming, frustrating, long-haul process. It will challenge you to be bold, to ask for help, to wade through the mud in your mind as you navigate your way toward a more fulfilling future. Many of my coaching clients come to me when they've hit a ceiling in their career and are ready to make a big change. But how?! they ask, afriad that it won't be possible.

HOW can be a daunting word if asked to early in the process. Besides, as many of you long-time readers know, in Jenny Blake Land: there's a template for that.

Enter The Network Email Mad Lib Template

This isn't about cheesy networking or making a land-grab for contacts on LinkedIn.

First, it's absolutely critical to get clear on what you want, and what you bring to the table. If you're stuck, start by approaching your career like a caveman. Then move on to the Plan Your Next Career Move template and the Job Interview One Sheeter (the latter alone has been downloaded 20K times and helped many a reader land a new gig!).

Once you know what qualities of your ideal job or client would float your boat AND what strengths and superpowers make you stand out, it's time to let your inner circle know.

Today's template is about making a very clear, direct statement about what you're looking for so that others in your network can help keep their eyes and ears open for you. Even if they don't have an opening, they may hear of something a few weeks down the line.

Here's how to use it:

1. Personalize the Network Email Mad Lib Template to send to your existing network when you’re ready to put the word out about what you’re looking for. Keep it as concise and specific as possible.

2. Double-and-triple check: Make sure you double-check that all red {FILL INs} are removed.

3. Ask for feedback: Have a few trusted friends read it over for grammar, clarity and impact. Would they hire you? Make sure your talking points are specific and differentiate you from the pack — if you're not sure what your particular strengths are, this is where your close friends can provide great outside perspective.

4. Send! Put your email address in the TO field and make sure you put your recipients in the BCC field so that they don’t get spammed if someone hits “reply all.”

Like this template? I'd be grateful for you to share the love!

[click to tweet] Making a major career change? Modify @jenny_blake’s Network Email Mad-Lib Template and send it to your network: http://bit.ly/networkmadlib

I'd love to hear from you in the comments:

What strategies have helped you reach out to your network in the midst of a career change? 

What Does Your Major Have to Do With Your Career?

Written by Melissa Anzman I remember having to choose a specific major in college – it was a paper and pencil form that I had to fill out, penciling in the bubble of the major that I wanted to commit to for the rest of my life. Having never thought of that question before, let’s just say that it was nothing less than terrifying for this commitment phobe.

Choosing your major is declaring what you are going to do for the rest of your life. Well, it felt like it at the time. After trying on a business major and clashing with a little class called Accounting, I quickly realized that I needed to stick with something that I enjoyed learning about and landed in Communications.

It was the last time I really thought about the choice I had made.

My communications major was hardly mentioned when I landed my first job – it was in sales/marketing, in case you were wondering, or my second job in advertising. Apparently they wanted to hire anyone who would accept the measly pay.

But when I leaped for my third job, my “major” decision in college was questioned and picked apart.

“Why did you major in that? What did you hope you’d do with your life with a major in Communications? How did you think you’d apply those skills in the real world?”

Those were the decent questions, I won’t scare you with the ridiculous ones. I paused, and really thought about it.

What did my major in college, that I chose when I was a young adult, have to do with the current state of my life? Almost nothing, really. And here’s why.

1. Your major doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.

Whether you’re about to graduate or are 10 years into your career, your major is a snapshot in time of focus. What it helps recruiters and hiring managers know before they meet you, is which subjects you excel at and where your knowledge base starts.

That’s it. It’s the quick way of figuring out if you have the core knowledge and skills for any job. But it’s not even close to the whole story.

Your major is a part of your overall career toolkit – not the most important piece or the only piece, it’s just a piece.

Some of the most interesting hires I’ve had, were doing drastically different jobs than their degree “qualified” them to do. I’m talking about Engineering degrees working in Sales; English Literature degrees working in Finance; and so on.

If you aren’t going into a job that has specific training, your degree major isn’t as big of a deal as your Career Services team has been telling you.

2. You can always supplement your degree.

Not receiving specific training through a degreed program can be a barrier for certain jobs. But it’s not a deal breaker in most cases.

Let’s say you’ve decided to become a paralegal five years into your career with a degree in Marketing. Sounds like a big jump – particularly for a trade specific profession. But here’s where you can supplement your degree with relevant and pertinent experience. Take law classes through a community college. Seek out paralegal certifications. Train or intern to be a paralegal through on-the-job training.

Your degree is not the only piece of paper you can earn in your area of interest – it’s a starting point. But there are so many different ways to expand your knowledge base and skillset, that it’s not a road block, just a detour.

3. Work experience trumps your major.

If you have a college degree in anything, about five years out of school, the conversation is going to shift from your major to your experience. It’s going to be subtle, you probably won’t recognize it. But it will happen.

Instead of being asked about Communications, I started getting questions like, “So tell me what you did in this role?” Or, “How did your degree help you manage this situation?”

Your value and worth comes from more recent life work experiences than classroom learning. This is especially true if your career path has veered off your degree path.

It sounds a little like the chicken versus the egg conversation – how can you work in, say Marketing, with a Finance degree, if you don’t have marketing experience to fall back on? Here are a few ways:

1. Repositioning things that you did learn from your degree courses into a way that makes them applicable to the position you are seeking.
2. Volunteer doing activities in your desired new space, to gain real-world experience doing it.
3. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Entry-level jobs tend to have less degree-specific requirements.
4. Take an internship position to grow in your new area.
5. Request a rotational assignment at your current company. It’s usually a short-term assignment where you become a member (full-time or part-time) of the other department, to learn the necessary skills and expand your knowledge base.
6. Go back to school - but only if you absolutely have to.

The bottom line is this: your major is important, but it’s probably more important to you than it will be for your overall career.  Which is comforting, especially as who can live with a decision they made at 18 for the rest of their life? 

PS - If you want to hear the Life After College Alumni peeps in action, check out Jenny and Paul on the Launch Yourself Podcast!

We'd love to hear from you in the comments below: How have you been able to "get around" your major? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

8 Questions to Finding Your Passion

Written by Paul Angone As I left college and attempted to "find my passion," I felt like a 3rd grader trying to attempt Calculus. I couldn't even understand the question, let alone scratch the answer.

Each year that passed I felt like a character in The Office, working a job I hated because I couldn't figure out what job I loved.

Finding Your Passion Ain't 1 + 1

Only now at the tail-end of my twenties, do I feel I'm beginning to smell my passion; like walking into the front door and catching that first whiff of homemade cookies.

My passion: To empower twentysomethings with overwhelming amounts of truth, hope, and hilarity as I narrate the unfolding story of my generation, for my generation. 

As I look back since I walked across that college graduation stage with such a passionate cluelessness, here are eight questions I've wrestled with these last eight years that have helped me find my passion.

8 Questions to Find Your Passion

1. Where have I failed the biggest?

Where have I embarrassed yourself like an 8th grader cracking his voice on his big solo? Where have I failed the biggest -- yet picked myself up and kept charging forward?

As I wrote in my book 101 Secrets for your Twenties:

"Your passion is not just something you do. Your passion is something you cannot NOT do...You find your passion when it’s totally failed, yet you refuse to let it fail."

For me personally that has been writing as I've sought to narrate the unfolding twentysomething story. No matter how many times I've burned these fingers in the process, I've refused to stop punching these computer keys. I learned to pay attention to those times I failed, but refused to give up. There's some secret sauce in this space worth putting a personal patent on. As Thomas Merton writes, "A man who fails well is greater than one who succeeds badly."

2. What are my top values?

Authenticity. Integrity. Right Relationships. Excellence with Fun. Perseverance through Pain.

These are the values that top my list. I've learned when I'm working outside of these values, anxiety tackles me like a security guard laying out a shoplifter. What are your top values? Make a list.

Your passion has to live inside the parameters of your top values or you will sabotage yourself.

3. What do people important to me say makes me come alive?

Pick three people closest to you and ask them when they have seen you come the most alive. Say it's for an assignment. Say work is making you ask.

You'll be surprised at the amazing things they say. Often times we won't give ourselves credit when it's due.

4. What are my favorite stories?

I've been on a five-month personal PR campaign for the movie Warrior -- about two estranged brothers and a father who are all fighting to change their destiny and find redemption. I've seen it three five times and can't help but shed a few cascading amount of tears at the end. It's up there with my other favorites -- Shawshank Redemption, Walk the Line, and Braveheart.

There's a powerful personal truth found in the stories that resonate the closest to you.

The common thread that runs through mine: the underdog who perseveres through pain, thrives from their authentic self, and succeeds at something sane people would never attempt. I can see my top values weaved into my favorite stories. How can I weave the themes from my favorite stories into the most important story I'll ever write -- my own.

5. What’s my top strengths?

Where are you most confident, competent, and crazy locked in? No clue? Taking the StrengthsFinder is a good place to start.

Basically, where do you kick the most ass? Think about what you consider your three greatest successes. What were you doing? Were you leading? Communicating? Designing? Analyzing? Your strengths are a direct shot to your passion. Follow that arrow Robin Hood.

6. What’s my dream?

What’s your BHAG? Your Big, Hairy, Audacious, Goal, as author of this amazing book called Life After College Jenny Blake helped explain in her book.

Feel like your BHAG is alluding you like Big Foot on a Vespa? Do this simple exercise. Envision your life 20 years from now in the year 2032. Where are you waking up? What’s your morning routine? What are you wearing for work? Where’s work? Home? 115 story skyscraper in the city? What do you do there? Map out your whole day. Don’t think what’s possible. Think big. Your BHAG is at the door waiting to be let in for dinner.

7. Is there a need?

Where is this world leaking that you feel like needs to be plugged? As Fredrick Buechner wrote:

“Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need”

8. Am I willing to pursue greatness without ever being great?

Now picture your big dream, but it takes fifteen years longer to happen. Now instead of impacting the world, let’s say you change a neighborhood street. What if you never become great when pursuing your passion. Would it still be worth it?

Passion Evolves

There you have it — the eight questions to discover your passion. Remember though, this is not a one-time, catch-all answer. Your passion will change as you do. I was once passionate about wearing a different color pair of sweatpants for every day of school. We grow up and so does our passion.

We'd love to hear from you in the comments below: How would you answer one, two, or all of these questions about how to find your passion? 

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About Paul

Paul Angone is the author of 101 Secrets for your Twenties and the creator of AllGroanUp.com, a place for those asking "what now?" Snag free chapters from his book and follow him at @PaulAngone.

This post originally appeared at AllGroanUp.com.

The Big New Years Blind Spot You Might Be Missing (and How to Fix it)

Written by Jenny Blake The Big Ol' Blindspot you might be missing is not about how to set better resolutions, how to stick to them, or even how to ditch them.

It's that you might be glossing over the one thing most likely to help you feel happier and more successful: building on what is already working.

Build On Your STRENGTHS

“From the cradle to the cubicle, we devote more time to our shortcomings than to our strengths.” ―Tom Rath, StrengthsFinder 2.0

It's so easy to fall down the rabbit-hole of what isn't working in our lives, particularly this time of year. What we suck at, the habits we are failing at, and the big promises we want to make to ourselves to correct some area of lack in our lives. Find a job! Find a mate! Lose some weight!

When working with my brand strategist Adam on JennyBlake.me, we often returned to the idea that the best ideas result from an expression of who you already are.

So instead of trying to incrementally mitigate your weaknesses, how can you bust a grand slam out of the ballpark with your biggest strengths? 

Research shows that building upon existing talents, strengths and marketable skills provides much more leverage than marginally improving on weaknesses. As Tom Rath says:

“When we're able to put most of our energy into developing our natural talents, extraordinary room for growth exists. So, a revision to the 'You-can-be-anything-you-want-to-be' maxim might be more accurate: You cannot be anything you want to be—but you can be a lot more of who you already are.

The most successful people start with dominant talent—and then add skills, knowledge, and practice to the mix. When they do this, the raw talent actually serves as a multiplier.”

―Tom Rath, StrengthsFinder 2.0

Hustle & Flow

As I shared over on JennyBlake.me last week, my word of the year is (Hustle &) Flow.

After an often-confusing year with change so intense it was sometimes debilitating, I'm also choosing to re-focus on what is already working in my life and business. An excerpt from that post:

After a year of Alignment — the precision, structure, daily habits of meditation, yoga and not drinking — I’m declaring this the year of FLOW. 

The surrender, movement and momentum of Flow, but — lest you think I’ve fallen off the woo-woo reservation — served up with a healthy side of hustle.

Grit and grace. Focus and release. Strategy and surrender. Effort and ease.

If you want to become full, let yourself be empty. If you want to be reborn, let yourself die. If you want to be given everything, give everything up. —Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

(Click here to keep reading Hustle & Flow)

Your Turn . . .

Before you go any further trying to fix what's broken, I want you to take an Inventory of Awesome.

Make a list of 25 things in your life that ARE working: habits, strengths, talents, creative ideas, even people and relationships. Now circle just one or two that, if you were to focus on elevating those through education, focus and practice, would take you from good to DAYUM I'm great!

See? That wasn't so hard. And you might even find a much greater sense of excitement and motivation by doing this exercise and narrowing it down to strengths you're jazzed about.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments: 

Resolutions, Schmezolutions. What strengths will you build on in 2014?

Happy Six Year Blogiversary to Life After College! Annual Review & Post Round-up

What a whirlwind year it has been! My sixth year of blogging was punctuated by change, travel, healthy habit-forming, yoga, website launching, business-building and the (mostly uncomfortable) roller-coaster of personal evolution. I used to chuckle and kick myself for the original tagline when I first set-up this website (pre-blog) 8 years ago: Life After College: No One Said It Was Easy.

That sounded pretty pessimistic coming from an optimist like myself! And yet, as I wrote in The Long Pause recently (over at JennyBlake.me) and in my earliest days here, there is no manual for the real world. There is no manual that drops down from the sky right alongside your biggest fears, hopes and dreams.

The path to learning is through getting your hands dirty. Taking risks. Balling your eyes out (or maybe punching walls for the fellas). I do believe that our biggest struggles are lovingly served to us by a benevolent universe who intends to help us grow, but that does NOT mean that those lessons will be easy. Quite the contrary.

Change will often bring you to your knees.

Whether you are a freshly-minted grad or a quarterlife crisis'er or someone turning the page of another major life event, change can often knock you flat on your ass until you're willing to really look and listen to it.

Challenging though it may be, it is from THAT point that you can finally hear the call to evolve and have the guts to heed it.

So you will stand-up, and you will try to do one brave thing each day. And soon, you will have a whole new bank of wisdom under your belt that you can draw upon as you embark on the next leg of your journey.

About this post

In these round-ups, I outline my favorite posts of the year, give statistics about blog traffic, and share personal milestones and achievements. It’s the best way to get a view of the entire blog on fast-forward and the full year in review.

I hesitate every year to publish these because it seems a bit self-indulgent, but it feels like the best way to honor all the work that goes into this blog and business. I hope that you learn something new, feel inspired or catch some helpful content you might have missed!

Previous Round-ups:

• 2008 – Happy Birthday to Life After College: Letter from the Editor
• 2009 – Happy Two-Year Blogiversary to Life After College
• 2010 – Happy Three-Year Blogiversary to Life After College
• 2011 – Happy Four-Year Blogiversary to Life After College (and the 4 most important lessons I’ve learned in four years of blogging)
• 2012 – Happy 5 Year (!) Blogiversary to Life After College (with 25 Lessons I’ve learned in 2.5 years of solopreneurship)

Year at a Glance

With the help of an incredible team, I launched JennyBlake.me, celebrated two full years of solopreneurship in July and navigated my own uncertainty in-between. Oh! I also turned 30, which I realize might seem ancient to those of you who are in your early twenties, as I was when I decided all the "after college experts" were way too old, so I should start this site :)

It has been an equally big year for LAC too: I brought on two fantastic co-writers, Paul and Melissa, who have really knocked it of the park with their honest, heartfelt writing. I'm beyond grateful to include their wisdom here, and proud of them for their own huge leaps this year:

• Paul launched his book, 21 Secrets for Your 20s in June, then quit his job at the end of the year to pursue his speaking and writing business full-time.

• Melissa celebrated one full year of solopreneurship and released her latest venture, Launch Yourself for people who want to shift or grow their career, business or brand.

Personal 2013 Milestones

• JennyBlake.me — In June, after almost 8 years of running LAC, I launched a website under my own name that helps people build systems to thrive at the intersection of mind, body and business. I am most proud of the Business Ninja Tech Toolkit, and am having fun putting together weekly-ish Weekend Coffee Talk link round-ups.

• The Book – Last year, Target purchased 15,000 copies of my book for their graduate display across 1,700 stores. This year it lives on after being published in Japan and Korea. Have you grabbed your copy yet? It makes the perfect holiday gift for grads!

• Speaking – I was honored to deliver two major international keynotes for my Career in the Age of the App speech at Google's Training Summit in Dublin (Ireland) and the University of Calgary's Graduating This Year program. I also had the pleasure of speaking at Yale University, UCLA, and KPMG. At the end of the year, I had a blast developing and delivering my Speak Like a Pro workshop at Google SF and Parsons in NYC. Interested in bringing me to your company? Learn more here.

• Travel – In an effort to see if I could actually run my business abroad, I took the big leap of living in Ubud, Bali for the month of January and Chiang Mai, Thailand for February and part of March. I'm happy to report it was a big success! I worked from coffee shops most days, and found the pace of life incredibly rejuvenating. I focused on yoga, building a daily meditation habit, and connecting with many of the awesome expats in SE Asia (including my longtime blogging BFF Elisa).

My Favorite LAC Posts

Career:

• The Best Way to Thank a Mentor . . . (Jenny)
• You don’t have to love your job today (Jenny)
• Passion is Not Enough: What are Your Marketable Skills? (Jenny)
• Stop Ruining Your Credibility at Work and 7 Ways to Be the Youngest Person at Work (Melissa)

Landing a Gig (from Melissa): 

• How to Interview with Recruiters
• Does Your Resume Say You Want to Be Friends?
• Not Getting Hired – The Fall Out and Recovery
• Dream Job Drama
• 5 Ways to Craft Your Work Persona

Solopreneurship: 

• Thinking of Leaving Your Job? When to Wait it Out, When to Leave (Melissa)
• Side Hustles, Solopreneurship and Starting Out (Melissa)
• Launch Yourself to the Next Level (Melissa)
• When You Lose Inspiration (Paul)

Happiness:

• 7 Habits of Highly Miserable Twenty-Somethings (Paul's post that went viral with a LAC record-breaking 2K+ likes!)
• Stop Trying to Balance Your Life (Paul)
• The Bliss Engine: Are you deepening or destroying your bliss? and Lessons from Zorba the Greek (Jenny's Dad, special guest feature!)
• 4 Things I Wish I Could Tell my 21-Year-Old Self (Paul)
• Watch out for Reality Checkers (Paul)

Big Goals & Building Habits: 

• Is Your Dream Worth It? (Paul)
• The Secret to Overnight Success (Paul)
• Have You Hit a Habit Fork-in-the-Road? (Jenny) and Sticky Habit-Building: 5 Minutes for 5 Days (with Template)
• Failure is required. Expect nothing less. (Jenny)
• Success in Different Shades (Melissa)
• 34 Apps for your Smart Phone or Tablet (Jenny)

Travel:

• Bali Travel Report: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly . . . and the Beautiful (Jenny)
• SE Asia Travel Breakdown: Tidbits from Two Months in Bali and Thailand (Jenny)
• From the Bali Files — On Writing: Blogging will Beat the Perfectionist Out of You (Jenny)

My Favorite JennyBlake.me Posts

Business-building: 

• Speak Like a Pro: Practical Tips to Propel Your Confidence & Delivery
• On Business Karma, Reciprocal Success and Dragon-Taming
• You might be completely wrong about your shortcomings
• Looking for Business Love (and Success) in All the Wrong Places
• The Two-Year (Scratching the Surface of) Mastery Itch
• Behind the Business: 9-Step Site Building & Launch Breakdown
• Digital Sweat Equity: If you build it, grow it, and commit like hell to it . . .

Health: 

• Bad Mood? Get Your Body Right
• Why it is Critical to be the CEO of Your Health
• Any of the recent Weekend Coffee Talks! (Here are the last few: #10, #9, #8)

Creativity: 

• 6 Ways to Cope with Creative Angst (and Why We’re Not Just Chasing Unicorns)
• It’s all a game.
• Are you Falling Prey to Faux Inspiration?

LAC Blog Statistics

• Visits
  • The total visits for 2013 was just over 221,817 uniques (428,500 page views) from 210 countries, up slightly from last year’s 203,210 uniques from 200 countries.

• Best “Jenny Blake” keywords: 
  • How old was Jenny Blake when she was hired by google? (21 years old), when she graduated from college? (20 years old), when was jenny blake born? (October 9, 1983)
  • Chili soup jenny blake (yes! it's delicious and lasts all week!)
  • Where is Jenny Blake from (born and raised in San Francisco until 7th grade, then Palo Alto for middle school and high school)
  • Free download of life after college by jenny blake (hey now!)
  • How much does Jenny Blake cost (ack! i'm not for sale, but here's where to learn more about coaching or speaking)
  • Jenny blake aerobics (I'm more of a yoga girl, myself)
  • Jenny Blake courage cry (funny how those two often do go together, isn't it?! See also: batshit crazy)
  • Jenny Blake killed bug (hah!! yes, scroll down to see this insane spider from Bali — he lived, though)
  • Jenny Blake Myers Briggs (I'm an ENFJ, but a closet Introvert on most facets of the Extroversion scale)
  • Jenny Blake shark (hmmm, not sure what you were going for, but I'm obsessed with Shark Tank if that counts!)

So what’s next?

I have experienced an interesting pendulum this year on the personal brand front: part of the goal of launching JennyBlake.me was to create an umbrella that I could expand into beyond Life After College to some of my current interest areas at the intersection of mind, body and business.

But ironically, now that I've done that, I am also looking for The Next Big Idea (sounds like an elusive unicorn when I say it that way!) to build more thought-leadership around, which includes speaking, writing, a next book, etc.

I am really interested in agile career design, building highly effective and efficient vision-based systems (at work and in our personal lives), and navigating major career change (either within a company or for those who are self-employed). I love thinking about how to maximize our biggest talents while also moving beyond burnout — making sure that we honor ourselves and build sustainably at the same time that we reach high. I'm having fun behind-the-scenes as I explore these areas and try to get a little bit clearer on an overarching theme that I can really sink my teeth into next.

And alas, that is all part of the journey!

As the current tagline here states: what I want for myself and all of you is to Live Big -- to reach high and take big soul-stirring risks -- and to love the journey, which is sure to rock you senseless from time-to-time too.

As always, thank you so very much for being here, for reading, and making what I do possible.

Your warm notes and comments keep me going, and I am always all-ears as to how I can serve you even better moving forward.

Much love and enormous gratitude, Jenny

When You Lose Inspiration

Written by Paul Angone What do you do when you lose inspiration?

And even worse, when you lose inspiration doing the thing you used to love the most?

For me personally, I just released my debut book 101 Secrets for your Twenties and quit my 8-5 job to pursue speaking and writing full-time, and for the last month it’s never been harder for me to write! I’m living the dream I’ve been working towards for the last decade and now that it’s finally here, the anxiety, pressure, and lack of inspiration has made me want to curl up with Netflix and not let go.

Can you relate?

Whether it’s at your 8-5 job, your own solopreneur-ish, a relationship, a place, etc. have you experienced that moment where the magic has been overrun by the mundane?

What do you do when we lose the motivation and inspiration that used to propel you forward?

As I strive to not fail at my full-time writing and speaking career in the first three months, here are five strategies I’m working through to re-capture the motivation, creativity and continue moving forward.

5 Strategies to Re-Capture Inspiration

1. Refresh Yourself

In 101 Secrets for your Twenties I wrote that you need to “refresh yourself before you wreck yourself. You’ve got big plans, dreams, and goals? Awesome.
 You can’t squeeze water from a dry sponge.”

Then of course, I didn’t take my own advice and have been on a grueling year-long sprint of deadlines, book launches, traveling, and a one-year-old and two-year-old daughters at home who don’t believe in sleep.

I was running at an un-sustainable pace, so why was I surprised when I found myself broke down on the side of the road?

When life becomes non-stop productivity you can’t be surprised when your engine begins to smoke and spurt some nasty gunk.

Exercise. Eating right. Sleep. Prayer. These were all things I thought somehow I’d become better than and no longer needed.

How wrong I was. Coffee can replace sleep for only so long.

In our lives we can’t kept trying to produce fruit from a plant we’re not watering.

I thought I was being responsible and productive, when I was actually cutting my bloodline and then acting surprised when I felt so sick.

Sometimes the most inspired thing you can do is just hit the brakes.

Sometimes you need to get as far away from your passion as you can so that you can come back and see it fresh.

You can’t give anyone a drink of water when your bucket is scrapping along the bottom of a dry well.

Remember, nervous breakdowns are extremely un-productive.

2. Go Back to the Beginning

For me, writing had gone from something I loved and transformed into nothing but deadlines and obsessing over Amazon reviews and sales rank.

I forgot about writing what I felt and became obsessed about writing what I felt would sell.

I needed to simplify. Stop looking for affirmation. And just write.

I needed to get back to the heart of why I was doing what I was doing – to empower twentysomethings with authentic strategies for success by offering overwhelming amounts of truth, hope, and hilarity, as I narrate the unfolding story of my generation, for my generation.

Have you defined the heart of why you do what you do? If so, how do you get back there?

If you’re inspiration tank is on E, how can you simplify and go back to that one thing that started you on this journey to begin with?

3. Scrap the Routine and Get Physical

Sometimes the best way to add a breath of fresh air to a project or relationship is to actually go outside and get some air. Take a walk. A hike. Go on a short-trip. Change the scenery, the routine, the process, scrap the routine and see it from a new angle.

More and more studies are even discovering that aerobic exercise has been found to have powerful effects on the mind, sending scintillating hormones and neuron growth that can motivate the mind much more powerfully than any cup of coffee. If answers seem to come to you out of nowhere when you’re riding your bike or even simply taking a walk, there might be more biology taking place and less mere coincidence.

Schedules, timelines, and plans are great. But sometimes you need to light your timeline on fire, do some Zumba around it, and then start from scratch.

4. Read

If you feel like your mind and heart are turning into a bowl of bland mush, maybe it’s time to add some flavor back in with a few good books. I’ve heard Life After College and 101 Secrets for your Twenties are pretty amazing. Or if you need some more ideas, check out my list of top 21 books for twentysomethings.

Inspiration is just waiting to be discovered and devoured in the middle of a good book. Take the author up on their years of hard work and gracious offer to help you move forward.

5. Keep Showing Up

Sometimes the most inspired thing you can do is to just keep showing up when inspiration is out on a Caribbean cruise and not returning any of your phone calls.

Sometimes inspiration only comes from consistently plugging away and fighting through the wall that blocked your way.

Sometimes you can only find inspiration by continuing to move forward when you’re completely uninspired. The act of doing that only thing that can dislodge the motivation that has been stuck.

Don’t wait for inspiration, fight for it.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments below: 

What's one strategy you use to re-gain your inspiration? 

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About Paul

Paul Angone is the author of 101 Secrets for your Twenties and the creator of AllGroanUp.com, a place for those asking "what now?" Snag free chapters from his book and follow him at @PaulAngone.

Launch Yourself to the Next Level

Written by Melissa Anzman Your career and work can be defined by a series of launches. A set of decisions that you make to not accept the status quo. To know there is more out there. That your potential isn’t being fully maximized.

That you can: be better than you are today. ™

For the past year and a half, I have been working with three separate audiences helping them be better in their career, biz or brand. But it was so… discombobulated. To many of you, I focused on helping you build a corporate career; to the solopreneurs out there, you knew me as a launcher and implementer; and finally to new coaches, I was a web designer.

See – it was a bit all over the place.

But I am all of those things, which is why I became an entrepreneur to begin with.

My first question when I was starting out was, “How do all of my talents fit together under one umbrella? What ties it all together?”

The answer had been a bit murky for some time. I could explain the connection, but it always felt like a stretch. My answer would vary based on who I was talking to and what their needs were. Not what my umbrella was.

Until recently. I was stuck in place, not being able to move forward with my business. I felt like a freelancer who was perhaps, a fraud, and not at all able to pick a direction to grow and scale.

The more I dug, the more I realized how much of what I do can be captured as a launch. I’m a launcher – I love the creation of an idea, the building of a concept, the take-off and details, and the excitement of starting something new – of taking a leap.

That is the connection that ties all of the people I work with, together. We create a launch – whether it’s in your corporate career, your biz, or your brand; it’s a point of decision to reach for more. To get uncomfortable. To fulfill your potential instead of watching life pass you by.

To Launch Yourself ™.

And so, I have officially reorganized my business and branding under one umbrella – LaunchYourself.co (go on, click on through to see the shiny new design).

What’s Ahead?

To you, pretty much nothing is going to change. If you want to hear about career advice, it’s going to still be there. If you followed me for product/business launch tips, you’ll still get them. And if you have website or branding questions, I’ll still have you covered.

So honestly, not much has changed on your end. Except maybe a bit more clarity. Which is great, right?

But it has significantly changed the way I view my business. It has finally put that last remaining puzzle piece in place, and I feel like I can finally move forward with the big ideas I have for my little biz.

After putting so much time and effort to get things aligned, it has also reignited my passion for pushing me out of my comfort zone. Have to live what I preach, right?

Immediate boundary pushing includes a podcast series, pitching some big-names (writing that made me squirm just a little), a new book project perhaps, and doing more speaking gigs. And most importantly, treating my business like a business.

I look the first step in that direction by finally opening a business banking account last week, making my business an official LLC a few months back, and protecting my assets and collateral through trademarks, etc. It’s a bit later in the “starting a business cycle” than is typically recommended, but it feels awesome.

So help me spread the word, would you? I am giving away two free goodies when you join the launch crew – 5 Rules for High Performers and the Big Launch Checklists. Come check them out, will you?

And I’d love to hear about any ideas, topics or launches that you want to be sure we cover here on Life After College – please share below in the comments section. 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Stuck in a Job Rut? Just Because You’re Good Doesn’t Mean You Should

Written by Ashley Josephine Herzberger

Have you ever felt pressure to pursue your career or business just because you’re good at it? In fact, most people would tell you that you’re nuts if you DON’T apply your natural strengths and talents to your career.

Too many of us painstakingly search for a  job in our designated career field after college out of guilt, however painful it may be to go through the search process and however grim the prospects look. The idea of paying for 4+ years of schooling only to get a job in a completely different field seems a ludicrous waste.

When we do score a gig, we’re so elated and grateful to be making a paycheck that we forget to check in with how we actually feel about the job. A few years later it becomes evident that we are not, in fact, enjoying what we’re good at.

The thing is, being good isn’t good enough.

Beware the Easy Trap

Being the best doesn’t even cut it. Chasing after only what you’re good at — without an equal pursuit of joy, happiness and fulfillment — will just leave you feeling beat up, stressed out, burnt out and sad.

Many of us like to do what we’re good at simply because we’re good at it and it comes easy. But too many of us aren’t fulfilled on a deeper mental, emotional and spiritual level by the things that we’ve learned to become good at.

Being good at something can be learned. Loving must be felt.

Yes, there’s a difference.

Quarter life crises are all too common these days, and I actually think it’s a good thing we’re having them. Mid- and quarter-life crises exist because we wake up one day and tune into how we feel. We realize we feel like crap and decide to do something about it. Better it happens at your quarter life; you just saved yourself from 25 years of zombification.

How to Feel Your Way Through Your Career

Refusing to feel, running away from what you feel, or ignoring what you feel will only increase what and how much you feel when your feelings overflow.

Feeling is scary. I get it. It takes incredible courage.

It takes a lot of balls to realize that after developing and perfecting your skills to meet your “lifelong” dreams of becoming a magazine journalist or a PR goddess, after $100,000 of college education to prepare you for this exact career, you decide to become a yoga instructor.

Believe me, I haven’t just “been” there – I am the yoga instructor with two degrees in English and Journalism. I am the girl who tried my best to love the traditional career options that allowed me to write all day long because that is what I’m good at. But it didn’t fulfill me. In fact, it frustrated me, drove me crazy and led to anxiety attacks and physical stress-induced pain at the age of 21!

At a certain point, I just had to stop believing that the grueling “climb to the top” was “the way” for me. I decided my health and happiness — my life — is more important than getting to the top of a career that I don’t enjoy.

5 Ways to Check in With How You’re Feeling

For those of you who have spent a lot of time, effort, energy and money into being really good at something and yet you’re still not satisfied, consider the following exercises to reacquaint yourself with how you feel.

1. Find Tension — Where are you holding tension in your body? Are you always asking for back rubs from your partner or do you experience chronic pain in a particular area of the body? Without getting too metaphysical on you, just become aware of where you carry all your tension. Then, as you do your work, pay attention to when the tension shows up in your consciousness. This will tell you what activities really stress you out.

2. Breathe — How are you breathing? Are you a deep belly breather or do you keep all your breath up in your chest, restricting the flow of oxygen to your entire body? Once a day, take 10 really deep breaths from the pit of your belly to open up space in the body to feel. Many of us have spent our entire lives moving away from feeling and in the process have cut off our ability to feel in most of our body. Start to retrain yourself by focusing on the breath.

3. Meditate — Meditation doesn’t have to be formal. Take 1-5 minutes a day to sit quietly and notice what you’re thinking about. Is there a particular thought that just won’t go away? Reference #1 above and pay attention to how you feel when you have these thoughts.

4. Write — Write about your dreams and goals. Are you taking the steps necessary to meet them? What are your thought patterns around your dreams and goals? Do you think they’re unreachable? Why? Do they scare you? That’s a good thing. What is one thing you can do today to start making your dreams and goals a reality?

5. Stop doing what you’re good at — Try something new. You don’t have to up and quit your job – it can be as small as taking a painting class or a yoga workshop. You might suck at it. That’s okay. Another reason why we continue to do what we’re good at is because this ensures little chance for failure. No one likes to fail, but it’s the most useful thing that can happen to you in your life if you pick yourself back up, soak up some learning and move on. Stepping away from what you’re good at and opening up yourself to failure will take you far.

We all get stuck in the game of life sometimes. Most of us will turn to what we’re good at to get us through, when in actuality it’s very likely that what you’re good at is what got you stuck in the first place.

If you’re ready to move forward, to get unstuck, to actually feel good, fulfilled and in love with the work you do, start to feel your way through. Get out of your head and into your body. There’s some wisdom in there waiting to be discovered.

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More About Ashley

Ashley Josephine Herzberger teaches women how to become healthier & wealthier in their busy lives. She integrates her experiences as a yoga instructor, online business owner, social media marketing specialist and Air Force partner to empower women to redefine and rediscover balance in their work and lives. She recently published her first ebook “The Unconventional Beginner’s Guide to Yoga,” available for free download on her website.

Success in Different Shades

Written by Melissa Anzman Success is defined differently for each person. To this day, when I come across someone who uses the word success to describe their career, it makes me pause and try and reverse engineer that person’s definition… and then I compare it to my definition.

And the comparison is what gets me every time.

When I was younger in my career, I used to judge other people’s definition of success. I’d consider their title, the company – both size and prestige, ponder how much money they were probably making, and determine where that landed them on my measuring stick.

Probably not that atypical, but based on where they landed in the comparison game, I would then feel better or worse about myself.

As I have gotten older and worked on who I am as a person, my own definition of success has changed and morphed into something completely unrecognizable by the definition when I was younger – in a good way, I think.  But I still have moments of comparison – twinges of jealously, questions of regrets.

At times, other people’s success has prevented me from moving forward. From taking action towards my own success. In the corporate world, it has sometimes blocked advanced to the next level or the ability to jump ship to a “better” company. In the solopreneur world, it has sometimes meant me not landing a specific client or working on a cool project.

When people give me advice or try to assist with a problem, my gut response is to consider how much I think they know on the topic – and whether or not they are successful enough to be providing that type of insight. And if not, I completely discount everything they say, roll my eyes, and nod my head.

Imagine how many awesome ideas I’ve simply ignored from people who cared enough to share ideas and thoughts with me; simply because I didn’t think they were successful enough – to my standards. I’m not sure if everyone operates this way, but I do know that it’s an easy form of entitlement or betterment – that person isn’t up to my level, so he just doesn’t know.

But what I continue to learn and practice is that success is an internal measurement only. I can’t compare what I’ve done to someone who is a big fish in a small pond, or conversely is a small fish in a big pond. I can only compare where I am with where I have been, and where I want to go.

At work, success isn’t just about your title, salary or company’s prestige. It’s about the relationships you have made, the projects you’ve delivered, the impact you leave in your wake. Now more than ever, those are the things that will propel your career ahead, those are the things that hiring managers care about. Not what you look like on paper, but what you can actually do.

It’s a work in progress for me, but here’s what helps me – and hopefully it can help you shift your success perspective.

• When I start going into inventory mode, I shift my mindset from what have they done, to how far they must have come. Instead of being critical of their current status, I reflect back on the many things that must have gotten them to where they stand today – amazing.

• If that trick doesn’t work and I feel that they are more successful than me on my measuring stick, I use it as an opportunity to learn from them – not get depressed or overwhelm with my “failure.” I ask them questions – what brought you there, what was a turning point for you, what influenced your current situation, and so on. Trying to pick up on themes or patterns that I can either see in my own path, or start weaving into my trajectory.

• The hardest action is if I feel as though they aren’t up to my success standards. I see it as a huge character flaw that I am constantly working on and have improved immensely, but there are still times where that gut reaction comes back to light. If that happens, instead of rolling my eyes or discounting their viewpoint, I use it as an opportunity to learn from them – they essentially shift into the more successful category, as I ask the same questions of them. And since I’ve started doing this, I have learned more from these conversations, than any of the others. We have different perspectives, which adds so much more diversity in thought and problem solving.

It’s not perfect, I’m not perfect, but I appreciate the definition of success so much more today, than I did when I was viewed as “conventionally successful” in the corporate world. Perhaps all I needed was being on the other side of judgment, or maybe it was learning that I had control over the word. Regardless, it’s amazing to learn what it means to other people and how I can keep adding to my own set of rules.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below: What is your definition of success? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

30

I can't believe it, but I turn 30 years old today. Me! The founder of a humble little website called Life After College way back in 2005, when I thought that the experts in their 30s who were talking about post-grad life were ancient (#facepalm #karma #lookwho's30now) and therefore I should add my perspective by launching my own website. And yet I'm grateful for that judgey little impulse, because it launched me on an incredibly rewarding 8-year journey since. Jump on over to JennyBlake.me to read my full birthday post, in which I reflect on insights from a growth year — the naked feeling of shedding old skin to grow into new habits for health and happiness. Or click on the animated gif below: an ode to my yoga practice, which pretty much saved my sanity this year :)

4 Things I Wish I Could Tell my 21-Year-Old Self

Written by Paul Angone What if you could have a face-to-face talk with your 21-year-old self?

What would you tell him or her?

Your twenties are about pointing your life a certain direction and one way or another, you’re going to be sailing somewhere. What would you tell yourself to make sure you were on the right course?

I was an idiot at 21. Let’s be honest.

People that knew me back then are probably shaking their heads in full-fledged agreement.

If I could transport back and find myself sleeping on that bottom bunk in a house with five guys, first, I’d tell myself–clean up your room and do some serious scrubbing on that shower because that stuff is just nasty. How the heck do you live like this?

Then I’d say these four things to help myself do my twenties right.

4 Things I Wish I Could Tell my 21-Year-Old Self

1. You’re NOT the Shiz.

Seriously man, you’re not.

And the sooner you stop acting like it, the sooner we can get to work.

Cockiness is insecurity on steroids. Like a 4′ 11″ male driving a lifted truck, no one cares how cool you think you look. Actually it turns most people off.

To succeed in your twenties you need two things: Humility and Grit.

Humility — To be willing to take on some not-so-glamorous jobs and roles.

Grit — To plow through the not-so-glamorous. Learn and do it well, so you start getting opportunities for the semi-glamorous.

Twentysomethings who work with grit and humility are the ones who are going to rock their 30s like Nickelback at the Missouri State Fair.

2. Your Twenties are Not Mainly About Making Money. Your Twenties are About Making Relationships

Money should be the least of your worries throughout your twenties.

I know, not the easiest thing to say when you're struggling to pay college loans, or just pay for food.

However, don’t solely focus on a paycheck. Focus on people.

Build relationships.

Create a network.

Don’t stick to the five comfortable friends who will never challenge you to go further.

I challenge you every week to reach out to someone new, someone older, someone wiser.

Build a relationship portfolio.

Not only is it healthy to live life in community. But I promise–every little bit of success you experience in your twenties will be birthed out of a relationship.

3. Now the Real Learning Begins

College is about learning how to learn.

College is about gathering a bunch of different expensive tools to place them in your shed.

Your twenties are about learning how to use these tools effectively, while continually gathering bigger, more complex tools.

Your tool shed out back is endless. Never think you can fill it to the max. Never stop reading, learning, asking the right questions, and challenging yourself.

You’ll never learn enough.

4. Process, Process, Process, Process

As I write in Secret #19 in my book 101 Secrets for your Twenties –

“I don’t think our big plans and outrageous dreams are the problem. Our krizaaaazzzy timeline of how quickly we want those plans and dreams to be sitting on our doorstep with a big Christmas bow is the problem.”

Don’t worry about “making it.”

Don’t look for that moment you’ve climbed the mountain and can stand at the top victorious.

Your twenties aren’t about conclusion. Your twenties are about the opening paragraph.

You’re outlining your twenty-something story in pencil. It's only natural that your twenties be covered in eraser marks and revisions.

Your twenties aren’t about perfection. Your twenties are about process.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below:

What's one piece of advice you would give your 21-year-old self?

What point above did you resonate with the most?

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About Paul

Paul Angone is the author of 101 Secrets for your Twenties and the creator of AllGroanUp.com, a place for those asking "what now?" Snag free chapters from his book and follow him at @PaulAngone.

34 Apps for your Smart Phone or Tablet

Written by Jenny Blake Happy Monday everyone! I'm excited to announce that the HP Slate 7 giveaway winner is Jenn B. Congrats! Huge thanks to all of you who shared your favorite up-and-comer apps — below is a round-up of the best of the best.

In case you're looking for more (assuming your phone or tablet isn't already crammed to the gills) be sure to also revisit last year's 90+ Tech Tools to Help Manage Your Life.

34 Up-and-Comer Apps for Your Smart Phone or Tablet

Business & Productivity

One app I’m loving right now is FancyHands (shout-out to Lindsay Gattis) – they’ll complete 15-minute tasks in just a few hours, and the lowest package is very affordable at $25 a month for 5 tasks. After just a few days of testing the service, I’m already hooked!

Diane Pauley recommends Pomodoro Timer: "This app is all about productivity and allows you to stay focused on a specific task by breaking up your day into 25 minute work sprints.”

Dropbox was a fan favorite, with six commenters sharing the love. Rebecca Fraser-Thill says, "It lets me access my files whenever and wherever I am, and it’s great for sharing large files with editors when I’m freelance writing.”

Lyssa Winograd recommends CardMunch."It allows you to take a picture of all the business cards you get to create a contact list, and then it connects your contacts with LinkedIn. It's super helpful for professional contacts and a great way to get people you met to remember you!”

Calendar & Mail

Alex Marcy recommends Mailbox for iOS: “It helps me quickly go through all of my work and personal emails by swiping everything to te correct folder and it allows me to bring emails back to the forefront at a specific time which saves me tons of time.”

Katy recommends Cozi, a calendar app."Its great, because my man and I are able to have a shared calendar and shopping lists. Love it!” From Cozi’s website: “The organizing app for the modern family.”

Vivian Lee recommends Sunrise Calendar: "A gorgeous calendar app that helps me focus on what’s coming up in the day. It displays your schedule only in agenda view. Instead of agonizing about blocking time, staring at what was ahead tomorrow, etc. the unique presentation of Sunrise allows you to focus on what is immediate and requires your attention. The interface is beautiful and easy on the eyes (a soft shade of grey), and it’s a “smart calendar,”which means you can dial conference lines directly from calendar entries, connect it with Facebook to send automated birthday messages, etc.”

Jenn recommends Tempo: "It replaces the iPhone calendar app and is much more robust. It scans through your emails, contact lists, and the web to find all of the data you need for a meeting – it will even dial conference call room numbers!”

Lists, Clocks & Sleep

Shannon and Angel recommend Wunderlist. Shannon says, “Wunderlist is a great to-do list app - particularly because you can share your lists with other people (if you want). Good way to keep track of groceries with a roommate!” From Wunderlist’s website: Your beautiful and simple to-do list.” Angel adds, “Additional bonus of being able to schedule events to repeat itself — useful for weekly tasks like laundry, groceries, etc.”

Jenna amd JR recommend Timely. Jenna says, "It is a fantastic alarm clock app that wakes you up with a gentle tune, increasing in volume over time (you get to choose how long). It is a wonderful way to wake up and definitely preferred over endless beeping or ringing. To top it all off, the app itself is gorgeous and lets you customize the background colors.” JR adds, “It is a really great alarm clock that is beautifully designed. You really don't think much about application design until an app developer comes along and wows you. Timely is one of those apps.” From Timely’s website: “Time Tracking Made Beautifully Simple.”

Beth C. recommends Sunset. "It’s an app that was developed by stargazers so they could use their phone at night without ruining their night vision. It puts a red (or blue, if you prefer) filter over your screen so you can see your screen just fine, but it doesn’t mess with your night vision or the weird things blue glow can do to your brain after dark. It is so great when I want to lie in bed and mess with my phone without re-waking myself up or bugging my partner.”

Photography

Joanna recommends Pressgram: "An instagram alternative that gives you more choices on where to publish your photos and full rights to your pictures." From Pressgram's website: "The best way to filter & publish photos to your WordPress-powered site."

Elaya Walker recommends Google Goggles which “lets you use pictures taken on your mobile phone to search the web. It’s really useful in a pinch and when words just don’t cut it.”

Jeremy Johnson recommends YouDoodle: “It allows me to take pictures easily, but the main use is I can write on the pictures and put icons on them. It is great for giving context or putting dates on pictures so I can organize them easier."

Reading, Listening & Watching

Matthew recommends Feedly: “Had to replace Google Reader with something and Feedly has filled the gap pretty well.”

Jake Steinerman recommends Pocket. “Pocket lets you easily save articles and stories you find online so that you can read them later, synced across your devices - find a great article on Facebook while browsing on your phone, but don't have time to read it? Save it to Pocket and read it later on your computer (or better yet, your HP Slate 7 tablet!)”

Erin recommends OverDrive Media. “The app that my local libraries use is OverDrive Media. It is like any other library item, you can borrow it for a certain amount of time and then it comes off your device.”

MG Domville recommends iCatcher. “I've been enjoying the iCatcher app. It collects all my fave podcasts and even syncs them up among my devices.”

Mike A. recommends Spotify. From Spotify’s website: "Let Spotify bring you the right music for every mood and moment. The perfect songs for your workout, your night in, or your journey to work.”

Milen recommends Jukeboss. “It lets you vote for music you like thats playing anywhere. It’s new and was developed by a fellow student..”

RLewis13 recommends Live 140. “I use it while watching TV for extra content, and I'll play around with it while the commercials are on. It has comments from other people on Twitter who are watching the same show, so it's really cool to see how other people react to what you just saw.”

Learning

Jeremy Orr recommends Socrative for teachers and for spicing up meetings. "It's a fantastic tool for teachers or anyone running a meeting. You can create quizzes or give end of session pulse checks and anyone can give feedback on any Internet device. I can launch a math quiz on my smartphone and my students can take it on my laptops. It's fantastic.” From Socrative’s website: "Engage the class using any device.”

Mr. Morales recommends Duolingo for language learning. “I'm in French 2 right now, and it's really helpful with building vocabulary and understanding sentence structures. It's so simple too.” From Duolingo’s website: "Free language education for the world.”

Katie recommends LiquidSketch. “It has puzzles in which you use the iPad's orientation to move the liquid in & around surfaces to complete tasks. Also, there's a "sandbox" to free-play in!”

Phone Calls

Donna Fontenot recommends Mr. Number. “It blocks and marks as spam whatever phone numbers I want. If a call comes in with a blocked number, it just either hangs up or sends to voicemail depending upon what I previously said to do with it.”

Kim recommends the classic, Skype." I like Skype, it keeps me connected to friends around the world just a call tap away.”

Shopping

Mary, Paulina and Lauren all recommended Ibotta, which Mary says “offers cash rewards for purchasing certain products at any of a number of grocery stores, plus you can earn cash for completing bonuses! When you've accumulated $10+ you can easily transfer it to your Paypal. It helps me find new products and save on stuff I already love!” From Ibotta website: "Cash, No Coupons.”

Tabitha recommends Retail Me Not. “I use it for saving money when out shopping at different retail stores and haven't had time to look up printable coupons.”

Shaunie W. recommends Zaarly." I'm loving Zaarly, it's an app if you are looking for local food and products that are handmade and homegrown locally. If you can't find any foods/products locally they can have them shipped to you.”

Sarah Austin recommends Realtor.com’s app. “I'm always curious about homes for sale and I like that its well organized with lots of pictures.”

Penemio recommends Dashlane: “Dashlane is the best. Being forgetful as I am and hating to sift through emails, I can keep track of all my online purchases and get easy access to passwords in a super secure way.” From Dashlane’s website: “The worlds best password manager and secure wallet.”

Misc.

Chelsey Hochmuth recommends Waze for drivers: "Awesome for traveling because it access to real-time traffic info and the GPS offers voice-guided instructions and can update automatically to re-route you so that you don’t get stuck in traffic.” From Waze’s website: "Get the best route, every day, with real-time help from other drivers.”

Suki recommends Disqus' Windows Phone app. "Disqus' Windows Phone app - it keeps me in the loop of all the conversations going on around the web.

Akirah Robinson recommends Timehop. “I love Timehop these days! It was pretty fun for me to reminisce through past status updates as my first wedding anniversary came up yesterday.” From Timehop’s website: “A time capsule of you.”

So there you have it . . . did we miss one? Let me know about your favorite up-and-comer app in the comments!

Stop Ruining Your Credibility at Work

Written by Melissa Anzman As a solopreneur, I have been constantly told that one of the most important pillars of success is building credibility within your market or niche. Experts say that if you can show you are credible, then people will want to “buy-in” to what you are saying and selling.

But credibility plays an important role in a corporate environment as well – and it’s a component of success that is often overlooked as we climb the ladder.

Your credibility “record” at work starts with your first job application and follows you throughout your career. I remember earlier in my career, being worried that my failures would follow me like a report card to my next job… like your high school grades can haunt you through college. I thought there was an employee record that went with you. It makes me laugh now. And while a folder doesn’t follow you per say, your credibility does.

7 Ways You are Ruining Your Credibility

1. Not being responsive.

With as many emails as we get these days, it’s necessary to prioritize and respond accordingly. There are some emails that simply don’t need a response (think: thank you! emails), but pretty much everything else, particularly from your boss, needs some sort of acknowledgement.

It’s up to you to decide what your typical turnaround time is to set the precedent, but your credibility builds faster when you respond quicker.  If you are able to answer email requests quickly and efficiently and reliably, then people will start to see you as an expert in certain areas. Just be sure that when you do respond, it’s well thought-out, concise, and relevant.

2. Not being a “details” person.

There are definitely jobs that lend itself to more or less detailed tasks on a daily basis, but in every position, being detail-oriented is always part of the job description. Not being meticulous with details because someone else holds the ultimate responsibility or will come behind you and double check, can discredit your reputation extremely fast. 

If you touch it, you need to review it – with a fine tooth comb. It has your name on it and therefore, your credibility is at stake.

For many of us, this takes a lot of practice and diligence. But like any habit, the more you practice it, the better you will become at it. Review your emails for content and conciseness, flow through your projects to ensure details are reflected accurately, and examine your work before submitting it to the next level.

3. Passing the buck.

“That’s not my job” is probably one of the most common phrases I utter in everyday work. However, it’s very rare that I will say that out loud because I learned early on that not only do people look at you as though you’re elitist when you say that, but it also decreases your credibility in being able to deliver and be a team player.

Even if the task you are asked to do isn’t on your official job description, it can still benefit your overall success. Suck it up, do the job, and use it as an opportunity to show your willingness to help out. If you have to whine about it, do it to your friends.

4. Fumbling little details in important events/meetings.

There is nothing worse than having technical difficulties during a conference call or event. Nothing. I know, we’re human, technology is annoying, and so on – but if you are organizing a meeting/event, then the technological aspects of it should run smoothly for participants.

When you can’t dial into the line, the video doesn’t show up properly, there isn’t an agenda, or you start late and repeat everything that the late arrivals missed… you are an amateur. Plain and simple, it will reflect poorly on your overall credibility, even if “technology” is not included in your job description.

Things happen, I get that – but if it’s preventable, do everything in your power to make the details unnoticeable.

5. Your dress/attire and overall put-togetherness.

It pains me to say this as I’m really a jeans and a tee-shirt person, through and through, but how you present yourself to your work audience plays a huge role in overall credibility. The old saying, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have,” carries weight.

Pull yourself together and make sure that you present a tidy/neat/awesome visual appearance, even if it means you explore expressing your individuality only outside of work. We are visual people – so your appearance makes a huge first impression and can damage your reputation without even trying. Pull it together nicely and present the best side of your style, forward. See also: no shorts, tank tops, flip flops, and so on.

6. Responding with incorrect information.

You know that person in the office – the one who has a response for everything, but they are so quick to reply that they often get it wrong? Don’t be that guy.

Having to clarify the responses of others, or clean up their mistakes, is never fun. Even worse is the damage done to your reputation and credibility if “everything” you say has to be researched and verified. To avoid this, simply do the necessary research before responding to inquiries and requests. Let your words, estimations, and research speak for themselves – don’t allow the doubt to creep in, and you will not be second guessed.

7. Your office hours and availability.

I full-heartedly believe in a flexible work environment, hours, and office structure. But if you are partaking in said freedoms/perks, it’s imperative that you are consistent with your availability and true to your agreement.

For example, if you work from home during the hours of 9am – 4pm, then you should be somewhat available and responsive during those times. If you take a call “from home,” there shouldn’t be excessive (ahem – Starbucks) background noise or screaming kids or barking dogs. It’s still work – so be sure that you are just as vigilant to those expectations as your colleagues are, or your credibility of actually “working from home” will be shattered.

Overall, your credibility is built over time – but can be damaged in an instant. The best way to safeguard it, is to be the best version of yourself that you can be, at work – and deliver, or exceed on agreed upon expectations. This is one area where merit, effort, and output well outweigh “personality.”  

I'd love to hear from you in the comments below: How have you restored your credibility when you've fumbled in the past? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

To Achieve Wealth you MUST Have Big Dreams

Note from Jenny: there are still four days left to enter the HP Slate 7 Tablet giveaway! Enter here by leaving a comment about your favorite up-and-comer app for your smart phone or tablet. The contest runs until Sunday, September 15, and I will announce the winner next week on the blog. 

Today's post is written by Leah Manderson; this is the second in a three-part money series.

I’ll be honest: when I’m just going through the motions in life, I don’t think too much about money.

I know my automated money system is saving and paying bills on my behalf, but I don’t think too critically about my spending. I’ll go out to dinner, order a couple drinks and not look too closely at the check. I’ll fill a lazy Sunday afternoon with a shopping trip to West Elm. Who cares if I overspent my budget by $200? I’m not using it anyway.

But when I dream up an international vacation, a once-in-a-lifetime activity, or a soul-fulfilling purchase, I am Money Maven extraordinaire. You can bet your bottom dollar (ha! I couldn’t resist) that I’m refreshing my Mint.com budget every hour on the hour, allocating leftover dollars toward savings, and cutting back on all purchases that don’t add REAL value toward my dreams.

In fact, this isn’t speculation, but my reality over the past two years.

I’ve been in financial diligence hyperdrive recently--fulfilling my dreams of a hosting a gorgeous Southern wedding, adopting a dog, skydiving, traveling, purchasing a new home and somehow coming out of both of those experiences with more savings than I went in with.

Through all that, I realized this curious (seemingly backward) idea:

To achieve great wealth, you must have big dreams for yourself.

While at first that could be interpreted as a Pinterest-worthy platitude, there is some real science behind it. An neuroscience study at the University of Pennsylvania discovered that people whose brains show added activity when they’re imagining the future also make better financial choices.

Joe Kable, the researcher for the study suspects that people who can deeply imagine their dreams -- and every sensation of what it’s like to achieve those dreams -- have a much easier time saving money for them. On the other hand, people with limited imaginations tend to live more in the present, overspending on things for immediate, rather than delayed gratification.

I want to be wealthy one day and I’m not afraid to admit it. But “wealthy” is such an abstract goal (and so far, far away) that if I’m not constantly focused on it, I’ll whittle away my future wealth on decorative pillows and lazy-cooking-day pizzas. If, however, I’m consistently focused on the next big goal, I have incentives to keep up with my finances, cut costs and save, save, save. That habit leads to wealth.

Without big dreams and goals to fulfill, we fall into the trap of spending to fill our need for novelty and adventure -- our immediate gratification. When you’re either bored with life, absorbed in work, stressed with family or tending to things outside yourself, it’s natural for you to want to buy little jolts of adventure every day -- fro yo, movie tickets, yet another pair of shoes.

None of those are bad, but they could be stopping your money from growing enough to fulfill an ambitious, memorable adventure (or a fuller bank account) instead.

I want the latter for everyone.

Now, the first thing you might be tempted to do is to write down a bucket list of big adventures you want to achieve in the next 5 years, but I’d encourage you not to.

Instead, do this:

1. Pick one “OMG I can’t believe I’m going to attempt this” dream you want to bring to life within the next year or two.

2. Tinker with the math on how much you have to save each month to afford it.

3. Get some accountability -- either from a friend who will join in on the fun or from a program like Jenny’s Make Sh*t Happen course.

4. Set up monthly automatic transfers to savings in the amount you have to save per month to achieve your goal.

Just like magic, when you’re driven to fulfill your dream, you’ll naturally level up your financial responsibility.

So if you’re finding yourself just going through the motions, spending frivolously, and feeling financially stretched, let yourself start to dream. Summon up your imagination and not only will your motivation to save money come, but you’ll transform your financial life forever.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments: What's one of your big dreams at the moment? How much do you need to save in order to make it happen?

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More About Leah

Leah Manderson is a financial planner in training who has been featured on Forbes.com, LearnVest and The Daily Muse among other sites. In her blog and newsletter, she publishes weekly tips and tricks on earning more, investing wisely, and living richly. Join her free 7-day Money Made Easy mini-program to learn about how to simplify and automate your monthly financial to-do’s.

Enter to Win: HP Slate 7 Tablet Giveaway!

Written by Jenny Blake I always love when I get to give away an awesome product (and I rarely say yes to sponsored posts unless I absolutely love whatever the product is, I know that you will love it, AND I get to give one away). Last year I gave away an HP Laptop and you all came up with a mind-blowing list of 90+ Tech Tools you can't live without.

This week I have the exciting good fortune to give away an HP Slate 7 tablet — I've been playing around with one these last few weeks, and it rocks! Check out the video for more details on how to enter (or keep reading below).

Ultimately, this is a way for me to say THANK YOU for being here, and for being such an incredible community of readers and friends.

Video: Slate 7 Givewaway + How to Enter (~2 minutes)

[youtube id="ff4jtnkBFR4"]

My favorite new up-and-comer app that I mentioned in the video is Songza, which serves up curated music playlists depending on your mood. Thank you Adam for the discovery! 

About the Slate 7

• 13 ounces of stainless-steel performance with 7 inch high-resolution screen (also available in red & silver)
• Enabled with Beats ™ Audio
• Long-lasting battery (5 hours video playback)
• Front-facing video webcam and rear-facing 3mp camera
• Delivers the full Google experience with services like Google+ Hangouts for multi-person video chat and app access

Additional information about the HP Slate 7 is available at www.hp.com/slate

How to Enter & Givewaway Rules

1. Leave a comment with your name and email address (your email address won't be shared publicly) to share your favorite up-and-comer app for your smart phone or tablet and a sentence or two about why.
2. The deadline to enter is Sunday, September 15 at 11:59 p.m.
3. A winner will be chosen randomly via Random.org, and announced the following week on the blog and via email.
4. HP will mail the Slate 7 tablet directly to the winner once they receive mailing address and contact information

Alright, have at it in the comments, and I can't wait to hear what you all come up with!

Investing in Your Identity Capital - When is It Worth Going into Debt to Advance Your Career?

Guest post written by Stephanie Halligan

There’s an inspiring (and terrifying) TEDTalk circulating the web. In this video, clinical psychologist Dr. Meg Jay, author of The Defining Decade: Why Your 20s Matter and How to Make the Most of Them, boldly and fervently proclaims that your 20s are the most important, defining decade of your life. And if you just muddle your way through these crucial years, says Dr. Jay, you’ll set you up for utter failure in your 30s and beyond.

So yeah - no pressure.

Life After College readers already know how dually exciting and frustrating your twenties can be. After graduation is your chance to grow, explore, make mistakes and and shape your career. And, according to Dr. Jay, this is the moment to be focusing on building some serious “identity capital.”

Your identity capital is your career toolbox: a collection of tools, skills, jobs and interests that you accumulate over the years. It’s the patchwork quilt of your career, elements that are pieced together to make your career narrative unique. And, as Dr. Jay argues, your twenties is exactly when you need to be assembling all of these tools.

Even if you’re in your late twenties (or thirties), there’s still time to start investing in who you are (and who you want to become). And the good news? You don’t have to leave your job and go into thousands of dollars in student debt to start shaping the identity you want.

Building Identity Capital vs. Investing in Education

When you think of investing in your career, you may immediately think: grad school. And if your current job is boring and unchallenging, or you’re not quite sure what you want to do with your career, an advanced degree seems like an easy way to invest in your identity capital and add another credential to your resume … right?

Well, not necessarily. While getting a degree would definitely be an investment in your education, graduate school isn’t necessarily always the best investment in your identity capital -- and it’s certainly not a the silver bullet to help you find the career you love. Most importantly, grad school is a major financial investment - one that could actually negatively impact your future if you don’t proceed smartly.

So while investing in identity capital is critical in your 20s, avoiding unnecessary debt is just as important. Before jumping head first into an advanced degree, make sure you can answer “yes” to the following questions:

1. You love your fiend of work and you’ve hit a “degree ceiling” – If you’re in a field that you love, you may be already looking to take the next step forward – only to find that only having a bachelor’s degree is holding you back. If you keep coming across job descriptions that read “masters degree required,” grad school may be right for you. But ask yourself this: how far could I truly get with my current level of education if I wanted to? You’d be surprised how fungible some job requirements can be.

2. Your current student loan debt situation is manageable – If you walked away from your undergraduate program relatively unscathed by student debt, congratulations! You’ve got the financial green-light to go to grad school. However, if you’re considering graduate school to buy some time before you have to pay off your existing loans, think again. Sure, you might be able to defer repaying some of your debt until after you earn your advanced degree, but you’ll likely end up worse off by the time you graduate (most of your loans will still be accruing interest while you’re in school).

3. Your return is worth the cost – There are a lot of variables to consider when applying to grad school: cost of tuition, how much you have to borrow and how much time you have to take off from your career to go back to school. So before jumping head first into a $100,000 MBA program, ask yourself, “What’s my return on investment?” Compared to the costs, will grad school yield a significantly bigger return for your career and identity capital in the long-run? Remember, you’re never guaranteed a high-paid job with an advanced degree. If the math adds up and you do decide that another degree is worth it, be sure the costs (and what you borrow) doesn’t skew the equation.

If you answered an enthusiastic “Hell yes!” to the above, grad school is an awesome solution for you and a great way to add to your career toolbox.

If not, you still have plenty of opportunities to boost your identity capital. In fact, you don’t need to spend money or time earning any credentials to start building the career you want today.

How To Boost Your Identity Capital For Free (and Right Now)

You can do a few simple things today to start accumulating meaningful, career-relevant experiences – all without quitting your job, going to school and taking out a ton of loans.

1. Start a side hustle – Do you have a natural gift for editing or writing, but have absolutely no experience making money from it? Have you been curious about web development, but not quite sure you’re comfortable leaving your stable, full-time job? A side business (or “side hustle”) is a great way to test the waters in an area of interest and build in-demand skills. Starting a side project is like turbo-charging your resume while keeping the financial stability of your day job – just be sure you don’t burn out while taking on extra work.

2. Say something online – I started my website The Empowered Dollar because I wanted to establish my personal finance expertise. But more than anything, I wanted to write my own professional narrative and not rely on the title of my current job to do that for me. If you’re looking to establish authority in your field of interest, blogging is a great place to start. Decide how you want to establish your “brand” and start writing blog posts about topics where you want to build your credibility.

3. Stand up on stage (or in a small group) – Public speaking is an easy way to legitimize your expertise. Not sure you have the public speaking chops to say anything intelligent in front of a group of strangers? You don’t have to be a rockstar motivational speaker to get up in front of a group of people and say something meaningful. Think back to the last time you had a conversation with your friends on a topic you loved – one you felt like you could talk about for hours. You can channel that same passion and energy into a speech, a presentation or even a small group discussion. Start by looking for smaller speaking opportunities or consider hosting your own area Meetup group.

Regardless whether or not you choose to go to grad school or you decide to boost your career one personal project at a time, whatever you do will add another piece to your ever-growing identity capital.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments: How do you invest in your identity capital? What’s one thing you could do by the end of the year to boost your career?

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More About Stephanie Halligan

Stephanie is the creator of The Empowered Dollar, where she helps millennials fix their finances and find their stride in money and life. When she's not blogging, Stephanie is designing online curriculum and games to teach students about smart money management. Follow her @EmpoweredDollar.

You don't have to love your job today

Written by Jenny Blake Yep, I said it. Permission granted! You do not have to love your job today.

It's Friday, the sun is shining, and you just *might* be experiencing a little summer cabin fever, staring wistfully out the window wishing you could be somewhere else. "If only these stupid job shackles weren't tying me down, I could be happy! And free! And FULFILLED!"

I get it. The more awareness we build, the more ambition we have, the more the digital world reshapes our entire economy, the easier it becomes to see the gaps in where we are now and where we want to be.

The mistake is in believing that has to happen RIGHTTHISMINUTE. Or that where you are now isn't serving a very important purpose.

With the exception of a job that is making you physically ill or highly distressed because you KNOW it's time to leave, even the most mediocre jobs can provide value.

Consider these 5 questions:

• Are you learning at least one new skill? Communication, sales, ninja paper filing, the art of dealing with a fire-breathing-dragon manager?
• Is it paying your bills? Therefore buying you some comfort and time for you to contemplate what really rings your bells?
• Are you meeting interesting people? Are you building relationships with co-workers, managers, and people in other parts of the company?
• Did it provide a catalyst for other big changes or improvements in your life? Such as a big move, or even learning how to budget and save money?
• Are you giving it your best, regardless of how long you plan to stay? As my dad describes in the Zorba essay of his book, "If work takes your precious time, it is worth enthusiastic effort."

Think of your career like a smart phone, not a ladder

I've given my keynote speech, Career in the Age of the App, almost a dozen times this year — at conferences, universities and even companies like Google and KPMG. I watch as people who are sitting tensely in their chairs relax every time I tell them, "It's okay if you don't feel 100% fulfilled by your work."

What?! It's okay not to PURSUE YOUR PASSION 24/7?! 

Yes! How boring would life be if we knew exactly what we wanted at all times and could make it happen in a flash? Very. Each of our hero's journeys are an evolution, and one that takes a lifetime. So let's ease up on ourselves if we aren't exactly on target just yet.

Just as we learn in self-help books that our romantic partner cannot MAKE us happy (oh wait, I'm not supposed to admit to having read those!), neither can your employer. It is highly unlikely, even if you work for yourself, that you will wake up on the "I LOVE MY JOB!" side of the bed every single day.

Your education and your upbringing are your "out of the box" phone -- now it's up to you to download apps for all the skills, experiences, education, interests, and even side hustles that will help round-out your career and help you feel more fulfilled.

Can you break your current job into component parts to see what apps you are currently "downloading?" That, along with the questions above, will help alleviate a lot of the stress that comes from feeling like you're not quite in the right place (yet).

There is no phone competition about who has better apps; it's really a question of whether your current set works for you, and if not, what you want to do about it.

Hands-On Career Dreaming, Scheming + Strategy Workshop

I care deeply about this topic and because I realize that most of you don't have access to the various places I am hired to speak, I'm going to lead a two-hour online workshop on September 11 at 7pm ET.

In this workshop I will walk you through exactly how to think about your career in a more dynamic, fluid way — and provide plenty of hands-on exercises for you to figure out what works best for you. You'll create a strategy for exactly how to move forward in a way that best supports your short AND long-term career growth and happiness.

By the end of the session you will learn:

• How to set an "app strategy" by identifying what you are most interested in moving forward
• How to make progress with a giant goal even when you can’t see the entire path at the outset
• How to build a strong support network to hold you accountable and keep you motivated
• How to survive “the dip” — even when all you want to do is quit
• How to listen to your gut and distinguish between “shoulds” versus “zone of genius” next steps
• How to clear clutter and re-charge so that you don't crash
• A clear plan for what exact action/s are required once the workshop ends

We'll also do a short round of Q&A at the end of the call where you can ask me anything. Seriously, anything. I'm an open book: numbers, fears, solopreneurship, insecurities, and even how to not sweat, shake or stutter like a maniac when you're about to give a big speech. I'm all yours :)

Enroll here for just $25 — I look forward to working with those of you who sign-up!

Recent Posts at JennyBlake.me

As many of you already know, I launched a new website under my own name in June that focuses on how to thrive at the intersection of mind, body and business through the lens of soloprenuership. If you're not already subscribed, sign-up here!

A few recent posts in case you missed them:

• Today's Weekend Coffee Talk: Mind, Body, Books & Business (my favorite links and quotes from around the web)
• On Business Karma, Reciprocal Success and Dragon-Taming
• A Day in the Life: New York City
• Stuck in a stress cycle? Yoga might just save your sanity . . .
• You might be completely wrong about your shortcomings
• Steve Martin on Slow Success
• The Bliss Engine: What's Your Creative Return Time? 
• Looking for Business Love (and Success) in All the Wrong Places
• The Two-Year (Scratching the Surface of) Mastery Itch
• Behind the Business: 9-Step Site Building & Launch Breakdown

I'd love to hear from you in the comments:  What are your best strategies for not falling into "grass is greener" syndrome at work? What apps are you most excited about pursuing next?

Responding to Negative Nellies at Work

Written by Melissa Anzman

People love giving feedback to others – it’s a way for us to interact, connect, and feel as though we are part of something. But feedback can be a hard pill to swallow, especially when it isn’t as positive as you hoped, or ahem, shall I say “constructive?” I learned that lesson the hard way recently.

When Negative Nellies Attack

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to speak to someone who I have looked up to and admired for a long time. It was a great conversation, until she dropped a feedback bomb on me. I was explaining some of the launch projects I was working on with my clients, and her response, “Oh, so you’re basically a glorified virtual assistant then?”

Gasp. I was beyond horrified. I was crushed. I may have stumbled out a response of “not really,” but honestly, I was so shocked, that I can hardly remember the rest of the conversation.

I’m not someone who has cared much about other’s opinions or feedback in the past. To be fully transparent, there aren’t many people whose feedback I truly value, so it’s usually not very difficult for me to bounce back from any type of negative comments.

But this time was different. I valued her opinion. I cared about what her perception of me was. I wanted her to as positive about it as I was feeling up to that point. And since she was so flippant about it, it paralyzed me for a good week… I was bummed out, unsure of what I was doing, and started questioning everything that I had planned.

4 Steps to Manage Negative Nellies’ Opinions

Sadly, whether you are in business for yourself or work in a corporate job (and everything in between), you are going to run into Negative Nellies in the form of opinions and feedback. Here’s how to work through it and come out the other side stronger than before.

Tell an objective friend.

I was so mortified by the words of one of my “heroes,” that I refused to tell anyone about it. I sat and stewed over it until I literally couldn’t move forward. Hello again my friend, analysis paralysis. Then one of my friends, ahem Jenny, called me to chat about something else – and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

For the first time I felt better. Not only was I able to get it off my chest, but I was able to gain some perspective for an outsider. Sure your friend has your best interests in mind, but he/she will still be able to tell you if you think it’s something to ponder further, or if it’s feedback that you can ignore altogether.

Figure out why the feedback stuck you so viscerally.

This is the hard part because who really wants to dig deep into their insecurities and fears? But this step is the one of transformation – your mindset needs to acknowledge the hurt behind the words, in order to move forward from a strong state.

I start by writing down the words that hurt me, and my initial and immediate response to them. By clearly seeing the statement that crushed me along with my own reaction to them, it is immediately clear what I need to work on.

Gulp - here's what I wrote after the conversation above:

• Does the label "VA" undermine my skills and the value I deliver?
• How can my vision be so different from what she sees as reality?
• What type of differentiation would I have as a "glorified VA" in the marketplace?
• How would I be hire-able, particularly at my rates, if I was "just" a VA?
• Is this truly what I am and what I'm doing? Am I a glorified VA?

Find the truth behind the person’s words.

Just because the words hurt your feelings, doesn’t mean that there isn’t a nugget of helpful feedback buried in there. Pick it apart to find the underlying reason why the comment was delivered – and see what you can improve on from there.

Remove the emotional component as much as possible, to peel back the layers for your own self-growth and improvement. It’s no longer about the other person – take the components that carry value to you, and use that as your new baseline.

Counteract the history.

Sure, you have areas of improvement – we all do. And yes, that person’s words may have stung. But after you’ve identified the insecurities behind the hurt and started to dig further into the feedback, it’s time to get back into the driver’s seat.

Create a three point plan to make those words obsolete.

1. Turn the negative into a positive. For my example above, “glorified VA” was turned into --> an entrepreneur’s right-hand person.
2. Retell the story. “I had the opportunity to speak with someone I really look up to and admire. It was interesting her perspective of what I do. I definitely need to work on my ‘elevator pitch’ to succinctly explain the fun projects I get to work on.”
3. Move the heck on. As long as my clients know what I do and value what I deliver (which they do!), than I am doing an awesome job. Onward and upward!

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below: How have you counteracted Negative Nellies in the past?   

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.